DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

03

Sep

I am – Hilary Swank Bikini Pictures of the Day

Here are some pictures of Hilary Swank in a white bikini, because I love white bikinis. Girls don’t cry and please never realize that they are see through and that we can see your total vagina when you wear them, because you’re too busy making sure that they don’t show nipple through. It’s like the inventor of the white bikini knew just how to distract a girl enough to not realize we all see your baby maker.

Hilary Swank may not be one of those pretty girls you see on the street, she may look rough and rugged and a bit like a dude who doesn’t cry, but reality is that she hasn’t got shit on the cougar I met last night. I was out with a couple of people getting drunk it’s what I do and one of the guys I was with was called over by a cougar sitting a lone. I never witnessed a cougar in her natural habitat, I only experienced it through second hand stories, but she just waved over to him to come sit with her and he went. She was chatting him up, probably talking about when she was in her 20s back in the 80s, maybe about her daughter who was his age, probably about how she had breast cancer and the scare made her leave her family and re-live her youth…I was just sitting across the way running dialog in my head of what she was saying, but then I realized that she was a hooker, with clear heeled hooker looking boots and bright red hooker looking hair and rough beat down face that only years of being a hooker can do or you….

Anyway, dude sat with her for a while before realizing it and when he did he didn’t cry but he was mad about the time he wasted talking to her and took her to the back alley and punished her face with his dick for misleading him…at least that what he said he did, but I am pretty sure dude’s a lot like you can the only punishing he can do is to himself because no one else gives him the time of day….even when he pays them….

I am just still drinking because it’s fucking labor day asshole…so bear with me if my posts don’t make any sense at all…

Related Posts:

Hilary Swank Bikini Pictures
Hilary Swank See Though Nipples
Hilary Swank Older Bikini Pictures

2007

03

Sep

I am – Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures of the Day

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So this high school musical cast is really a hot thing right now. It seems no matter how old I get, teenage girls will be dumb enough to fall for these shit movies and tv shows and they will believe all the hype of the publicity stunt that is the relationship between 2 of the characters. They will still cut his pics out of magazines and put it on their wall like he was Lance Bass in 1999 only to find out that this Vanessa Hudgens – Zac Effron relationship is one based on shopping together, doing each other’s hair and make-up and talking about sucking off boys with each other.

Speaking of taking it up the shit hole, the walls in the shit hole I call home are pretty paper fucking thing and if I am not hearing my neighbors fighting, fucking, shitting or getting high, I am usually asleep or passed out drunk in the corner. Tonight I came home to the song “Love Hurts” on fucking repeat. I thought maybe dude had fallen asleep to that shit but it’s been about 12 hours and it’s still fucking going. I can only assume that asshole tried to Owen Wilson himself, but succeeded, because let’s face it, real suicidal people don’t fuck up for people to find them and pamper them back to happiness, that shit is called a cry for attention and my neighbors statement is “look what you made me do bitch”, provided he is actually dead. I do know that if I hear the song one more time, I may be the motherfucker they are scraping off the pavement but that’s just because I hated it to begin with and 12 hours later, I am starting to hate myself. If the hall starts stinking, I’ll know to call the landlord and complain…maybe I’ll get a free month out of all this…

Here are some pictures of Vanessa Hudgens from high school musical in her bikini, in Hawaii with her fag/boyfriend, playin in the sand, like they are a bunch of queers…which it turns out…they probably are….

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More Ashley Tisdale Bikini Pictures

2007

31

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

11 Comments »

I witnessed teenage pregnancy today. She wasn’t a major teen because she was driving, but her parents looked like they were my age. EIther they were rich and had plastic surgery or lived a clean healthy life but watching her perky milk filled tits bounce and knowing dude dropped load in her was pretty fucking hot….until I saw the baby daddy ride up next to her on his bike with his ratty fucking hair, tattooed neck and emaciated AIDS lookin’ body….

Comments are back up, with some crazy captcha thing that means you have to type what you seen in the box before writing. I know you aren’t used to box, but you’ll have to figure it out if you want to leave feedback. If you’re looking for a real challenge try their “Audio” feature and figure out what numbers they are shouting out at you. Shit confused the fuck out of me but made me laugh and I am not a laugher so it’s worth trying. The stepFORUM was a bust, which wasn’t surprising at all, since everything I touch turns to shit.

I didn’t feel like working too hard today, it’s the long weekend, which has no impact on my life at all since everyday is a fucking weekend, so I spent most of the day surfing the internet and trying to convince girls to get naked for me.

Here’s to a good fucking weekend, I know statistically some of you may end up driving drunk and into trees and shit, so try not to die, I need the traffic.

Here’s what I saw…experience my day by clicking these links….

So Much Silicone at the Premiere of “Anna Nicole”
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Nadine Velazquez From My Name is Earl Showing Off Her Spic Ass
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Some Slut Named Staci Flood Posing for in her Lingerie for you
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Take this Pop Quiz on High School
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It is Fetish Weekend in Montreal….And Here’s an Interview with Fetish Queen Bianca Beauchamp….They Wouldn’t Give Me Free Guestlist…But I’ll Still Promote this Fetish Queen…
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Hot Lesbian Sex Scene From L-Word For You Perverts
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An Insane Coin Toss Trick…
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Great Prank with a suitcase full of fake Cocaine
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Some crazy bitchs let her five year old drive her car
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Sienna Miller is a crazy drunk
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Anti-Kamasutra
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Britney’s New Lyrics are About Having a Dude Cum in Her Mouth….Amazing, I guess bitch realized cum in the cooch means a lifetime of headaches…
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Lenka Gaborova like whoa
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Rachel Stevens Lookin’ Slutty in Some Photoshoot
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Some Flickr Nudity…
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Paris is moving
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Rose McGowen see through top
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Miss South Carolina calls 911
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Hyori Lee is some Asian Whore
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Car fight!!
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Charlize Theron has killer legs
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Some Webcam Video with a Girl and Her Football
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Larry Birkhead and Howard K sterm
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More Flickr Nudity
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Michelle Marsh – VIDEO
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Britney’s new singles are really, really, really…awesome
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Half tiem contest. This is fantastic
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Shy Topless Girl on the Beach
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Owen Wilson goes to rehab
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Brett Micheals talks about his cock and You Love The Cock….
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Jenna Jameson looking wierder then ever
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Girl Liking Another Girl’s Hairy Armpit
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Fergie FUG is Looking Like Sex With a Pile of Shit
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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I wonder if this dude is straight…
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This Dude is a Fag…Video….
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Rhianna in lingerie for her new video
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Lots of Teen Asses
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Mud fight + Chicks = Boners
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Kelly Preston is the new Miss Cleo
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Senator Larry Craig is a homo
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Sophie Howard Posing Topless and SHit
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Britney Spears gives her kids booze, cause thats what good parents do
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Hilldog looks more and more like a pear everyday
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2 Sluts Having a Catfight….Video
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Some Disgusting Chick Talks About Her Hairy Ass
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Beckham is injured again
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Weird Photobucket Nudity Collection
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Fat Chick Getting Her Legs Shaved…
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PJ Harney has a new album. Shes hot in that wierdo music chick kind of way
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Paris Hilton looks better without those stupid extensions we all know are fake anyways
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One of my Readers Makes Shitty Movies…But is in Film School…So Watch It and Encourage Him To Take on Another Career
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Some Chick gets Naked in a Pizza Restaurant Video
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Nicole Richie and Joel Madden Do a Loving Pregnancy Photoshoot for Publicity…Pretty Much the Same Reason She Got Knocked Up and Didn’t Abort…Unless She’s Already Had One Too Many Abortions and it was Keep it or never have a kid…what do I know…
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Naked Photobucket Chick
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Did You Play the Celebrity Photo Hunt Yet?
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It’s Back to School and the Best Thing to Do is Convince Horny College Co-Eds to Fuck You, It is the Experimental Years and this will Help
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

31

Aug

I am – Gillian Anderson Trying to be Sexy of the Day

2 Comments »

I will get the Gay Blogger his very own login one-day soon, but in the meantime I am forced to write a shitty intro to let you all know that he’s here to make me famous because gay is trendy and because gay bloggers are even more trendy. His name is Julien and this is his magic sauce on Gillian Anderson trying to be sexy with the word Yes next to her, probably in efforts to trick us into thinking we want a piece, when in reality all we really want is that set of tits on the wall behind her in our face…either way here’s Julien.

You know when people try to be sexy but it just doesnâ€™t work? I think this is one of those cases. I mean if you described to me the elements of this photo, take Gillian Anderson, make her look like a chic drug addict and then spread her legs, I would be like, yeahâ€¦I know a few people who could jerk off to that. But why did she have to have that giant metal S between her legs? I just donâ€™ think that worked. Now, being a flaming homosexual, Iâ€™m probably not the best person to judge, but I really think that only die-hard X-Files fans are going to aroused by these pics.

Itâ€™s like how everyone thinks because Iâ€™m gay that Iâ€™ll fuck any gay person that walks. While this is 90% true, there is still that 10% that I wouldnâ€™t fuck. Like this one time, Marie-Eve had made some friend that she thought would just be PERFECT for me and I was kind of a slow week, so I agreed to meet him. I didnâ€™t want to go on an actual blind date, Iâ€™m not a 30 something, chubby, single girl (at least not yet). So I agreed to meet him at this party that everyone was going to. So Iâ€™m at the party, just starting to get a little fucked up and this guy walk in. He had a nice body, an ok face but for some goddamn reason he was wearing a fucking mesh tank top. I hate mesh tank tops. Some faggot must have sent out a memo saying that these things are fashionable. But believe me they arenâ€™t. It was a total deal breaker. I took one look at this guy and I laughed and walked away to find more blow.

The point of this tale of faggotry is that the elements of this guy were there but there was just something off. I mean if he had just planned his outfit a little better, he couldâ€™ve totally boned me that night. But unfortunately he chose to wear a mesh tank top. He might as well have shown up with a giant metal S between his legs.

Smooch!
Julien

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2007

31

Aug

I am – Cameron Diaz Legs of the Day

2 Comments »

It turns out that I can’t sell an ad deal for this site because the site is basically a genital wart or AIDS lesion on the internet. I never get anything out of anyone, I get rejected for events, I get rejected for interviews, I get rejected for promo CDs, it’s just constant rejection because I guess people just think I am an asshole…or a Joke or both an asshole and I joke. I need to become well liked. I am tired of people hating me and telling other people how creepy I am just because I am a master of internet rape. So I decided that I am going to start touring old folks home and put on shows for them. I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I am pretty shitty in public but I am going to come up with something good. I’ll have a camera crew following me, and by crew I mean some asshole with a cellphone video camera, but it’s going to definitely earn me some serious points in the world…When the old folks tour is over, then I hit up the retard homes, then I am going to schools to talk about safe sex, aids and not doing drugs and then I’ll hit up the prison’s to refine those cocksuckin’ lawbreakers…I will make the world a better place and you’re all going to love me, like the song they all sing on American Idol….

In the meantime….look at Cameron Diaz’s Legs because I’d still do her pre-menopausal ass.

Related Posts:

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2007

31

Aug

I am – Rachel Leigh Cook’s Almost Cleavage of the Day

7 Comments »

I went out with one of my guys friends last night who I hadn’t seen in awhile. We went out to the bar and decided to play this game we regularly take part in to see which one of us could find someone to leave with first. We both needed to get laid and a little incentive with some friendly competition is always fun.

Since he chose to leave with the fattest, sloppiest bitch in the place (cause he has no dignity) I ended up loosing the bet and gave him the $20. I like to fuck just as much as, or more then, the average person but even I have some sort of standard. And the point of the game is for there to a be a little bit of a challenge involved in it you know?

I guess in the end a bet is a bet and fair is fair. He got $20 and got laid, and I went home alone woke up with a hangover and spend the rest of my day writing for all 4 of you.

Here’s Rachel Leigh Cook and her almost cleavage, which is better then no cleavage at all and when you’re virgin like yourself, you need to get it when it’s given. So go grab your tissues and lotion, and pretend your body is a theme park for 3-5 minutes.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

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Posted in:cleavage|Rachel Leigh Cook|Unsorted

2007

31

Aug

I am – Rachel Leigh Cook's Almost Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

I went out with one of my guys friends last night who I hadn’t seen in awhile. We went out to the bar and decided to play this game we regularly take part in to see which one of us could find someone to leave with first. We both needed to get laid and a little incentive with some friendly competition is always fun.

Since he chose to leave with the fattest, sloppiest bitch in the place (cause he has no dignity) I ended up loosing the bet and gave him the $20. I like to fuck just as much as, or more then, the average person but even I have some sort of standard. And the point of the game is for there to a be a little bit of a challenge involved in it you know?

I guess in the end a bet is a bet and fair is fair. He got $20 and got laid, and I went home alone woke up with a hangover and spend the rest of my day writing for all 4 of you.

Here’s Rachel Leigh Cook and her almost cleavage, which is better then no cleavage at all and when you’re virgin like yourself, you need to get it when it’s given. So go grab your tissues and lotion, and pretend your body is a theme park for 3-5 minutes.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Related Posts
Kylie Minogues Cleavage in a Kite of the Day
christina Aguilera’s Crazy Fucking Cleavage of the Day
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Posted in:cleavage|Rachel Leigh Cook|Unsorted

2007

31

Aug

I am – Hayden Panettiere Takes a Trip to London of the Day

3 Comments »

Hayden Panettiere

I’ve never been one of those young girls that wants to look older them I am. After watching my mothers looks deteriorate and her weight balloon to epic proportions, I realized that being 18, thin and fit is a pretty sweet deal. I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth cause it’s going to be all down hill from here pretty much. I know I’m not perfect, but there’s a reason I get laid as much as I do, and I’m pretty sure it’s not because of my brain. Great legs, nice tits, and tight ass probably help tho.

I’ve been trying to figure out just what exactly Hayden Panettiere’s handlers are up to in terms of sending her out for promotional tours and appearences looking like an aging Cougar. She looks great, don’t get me wrong but I think she is going to have a rude awakening when she wakes up down the road and realizes shes been middle aged for 25 fucking years.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Heroes|Jail Bait|Unsorted

2007

31

Aug

I am – Jesse Jane’s Porn Tits at the 10th Annual Adult Night Club and Exotic Awards of the Day

5 Comments »

This girl on my AIM was telling me about some dude she’s fucking who is pretty dirty, even more dirty than the dude who jerked off on her panties. This motherfucker no only took her anal virginity while choking her, he also told her that he wants to fist her and when he tried he couldn’t get past three fingers, so the next day he shows up at her house with a speculum and a DVD filled with anal porn, but not anal porn he bought, anal porn he downloaded off the internet….obviously classy.

So this bitch has issues and is submissive and decides that this guy, despite being married deserves her full attention, I guess since she gave him her ass at 30, he holds a special place in her heart. So in efforts to please the asshole she’s shoving this thing in her to stretch herself out for him to fist her and live his fantasy out, while treating her like nothing but a whore….

That means, after he’s done with her and got what he wanted and walks, she’s going to be there all loose vaginaed and confused as to where shit went wrong.

This is a fucked up story, that I didn’t make up and that proves that people out there are fucking insane. When I used to get with girls, I’d try to make them do kegels to tighten their shit not loosen it, but maybe that was because I am not into fisting and I have a retardedly small penis.

So whatever your fetish is, remember some of us are judging you and think you’re a twisted sick fuck. That’s all I have to say about that.

Here are some pictures of pornstar Jesse Jane and her dirty fake tits at some porn awards I wasn’t invited to. Just knowing how many dudes have cum on those things makes me feel dirty looking at her, but I’d still do her if I could get it up.

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Posted in:cleavage|Jesse Jane|Pornstar|Tits|Unsorted

2007

31

Aug

I am – Jesse Jane's Porn Tits at the 10th Annual Adult Night Club and Exotic Awards of the Day