I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

06

Jul

I am – Jennifer Garner Surfing of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jennifer Garner surfing in Hawaii on the 4th of July. I think she’s been in Hawaii surfing for a couple of weeks now and I am a little jealous. Not because every piece of white trash in America’s dream vacation is Hawaii, but because surfing seems pretty cool.

I keep telling people that when I stop doing this website I am going to move somewhere and surf all day, just because people who surf look relaxed, healthy and like getting fucked up. They also have chicks flocking to them in bikinis. The only problem with my surf dream is that I weigh about 300 lbs and although being fat and pasty isn’t stopping Jennifer Garner, it will stop me because I am considerate to other people. Sure, she had a kid and she’s really not even that fat but she isn’t hot and that’s just as bad as being fat, maybe even worse.

Chicks who have kids like use the kids as an excuse for being fat and it seems to be accepted as fact. Reality is that the bitch is just lazy and decides to never go back to their pre-birth weight and would rather sit at home eating donuts until their husband leaves them for the secretary at their office jobs. Sometimes dealing with the wife crying about how she’s devoted her life to you, worked so hard for the family by watching Soap Operas all day and never getting off her fat ass to work at having any sex appeal for the husband to want to stay with her is worth going through to have some fun.

Either way, I also hate the water, never travel and I am too broke and lazy to make a move to get to a surf spot, but it’s still a nice dream….one that keeps me going….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jennifer Garner|Surfing|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

06

Jul

I am – Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini Again of the Day

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I think this is my third time posting Ashley Tisdale bikini pictures this week. I also think that it is the third time I’ve ever heard this bitches name, which leads me to believe that if you want to get noticed on the internet all you have to do is take off some fucking clothes. It seems like that’s all anyone really cares about when it comes to being on a computer.

I got some hate mail from some dickhead who runs some pretentious “cool hunting” site. He wasn’t too into an email I sent him saying that he never answered me in the past when I was trying to help some dudes I know promote their site. He wrote back abrasive as shit about my email to him saying that because I wrote that email, they blacklisted my friend’s site.

I don’t like when people give me attitude so I wrote him this:

Learn how to read or are you too busy being a self-proclaimed cool hunter, like you fucking know what cool is. It’s easy to pretend you’re some stylish, well read, intelligent dude who knows what’s up on the internet but we all know the internet and people who run websites, myself included are fucking losers. Cool people are too busy being cool to write articles about what they think is cool.

You’re onto some some David Coresh shit, you know how he decided one day that he’s god and people should bow down to him. I think that’s called a superiority complex, but I am not a psychologist, but for the sake of the internet, I will start a site called PsychologyExpert.com and send you my diagnosis of what I think is wrong with you daily.

I bet you just sit at home jerking off all night, when you aren’t too busy trying to research what cool is, because when you are cool the last thing you do is tell people how cool you are.

I am sure you haven’t seen a vagina in years, maybe that’s the expertise you should be focused on. The how to recognize a vagina after years of not seeing one dot com. Asshole.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

Please send him hate mail HERE Thanks.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Ass|Bikini|Unsorted

2007

06

Jul

I am – Lohan Partying of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan is partying with friends and family and must be sober. There is no way that she told everyone to make sure to keep drinks inside the party so that the paparazzi don’t see booze in anyone’s hand. It’s all a matter of protecting the machine that is Lohan and that means not outing the fact that girl just wants to have fun.

I used to know a dude who was addicted to heroin. I’d hang out with him everyday because he worked in the same warehouse as me. He would go home to play videogames and shit everynight and never wanted to get drunk with me. I ended up leaving the job for being fired for trying to look up one of the employees skirt or something equally lame and embarrassing to come home and tell your wife you got fired for. I ran into dude about 5 years later while meeting one of my friends at Narcotics Anonymous and that dude was there. When I asked what he was addicted to or who he was meeting he told me that he had a heroin addiction for 10 years, and was using when I was working with him, I just had no idea.

I think it’s safe to say that Lohan is playing that same stunt on all of us, only she’s got a budget. So she doesn’t have to say she’s going home to play videogames, she can throw sober chainsmoking no booze or drug parties. All these people are hired actors to play the part of friends and family in the dramatic life of Lohan. Shit is like the Truman Show where in reality people only talk to her because she’s Lindsay Lohan and some mastermind behind the scenes is directing them and paying them all to do and act according to the script.

Shit’s a fucking social experiment and the point of the story is don’t trust everything you see, but you can trust that she’s got great big titties to go with her great thick thighs that we will hopefully all see when the mastermind writes it into the Lohan Plan.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

05

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I only own one pair of underwear and I am the kind of guy who needs to wear clean underwear everyday, otherwise I smell my own dirty ass when I am sitting at the computer so I decided to do a load of laundry, my wife is too useless to take care of me, so sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do shit for yourself. It makes it a lot easier when you’re sitting at home smelling your own ass when trying to find girls online to send you nude pics. It never seems to work out. Anyway, I had to get laundry detergent and the closest place to get it was at the drug store. When in there, some big breasted, big bootied 19 year old was wandering around aimlessly, she looked all wholesome and shit but something about her screamed that she loved sucking dick. I am not the kind of guy who really looks at girls on the street and think how great they would look naked, but it happens sometimes. I am usually more concerned with my social anxiety and dizzy spells from leaving my house, but today it happened. As she walked awkwardly through the aisles I saw her nervously approach the pharmacist and pick up 2 boxes of alesse or some other birth control pill and knowing she either was either a girl with period problems who needed to control that shit, or a girl who was ultra scared of pregnancy and liked the double protection or most likely a girl who let dudes bust inside her made me happy. It was like we were friends for a split second and I was suddenly a part of her most personal part of her life…..I saw a dude buying condoms at the gas station the other day and didn’t get the same feeling.

Either way, here are my links….

The Whore Hugh Grant Made Famous
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Katherine McPhee in Stuff Magazine Lookin Hot Enough To American Idol Up Inside Her
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Lazy Doggie is the Sex Position of the Day Because Watching 2 Chicks Demonstrate it Makes it Worth Clickin’
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Alessanda Ambrosio Lookin’ Fuckin Hot At the Beach….
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Behind the Scenes Danielle Lloyd Photoshoot Video
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Some Slut Named Suzana all Naked For You
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This Chick Knows How To Sell a Hat in Her Bra
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Some Amateur Chick Doing a Little Dance for You
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A Jakki Degg Picture Moment
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Lohan’s New Guy is Loser Lorenzo Lamas’ Son
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Some Girl Has Sex With an Inanimate Object
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Jessica Alba GQ August 2007 Spread
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Eva Longoria in Disneyland Paris With Her Husband on their European Vacation/Marriage/Whatever the fuck they are doing…
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Billy Bob Thorton’s Hair Plugs
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Denise Richards Has Lunch With Charlie Sheen’s Current Girl
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Jessica Biel Shits and Women Don’t Shit, Further Proof She’s Got Balls.
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Dude Fucks His Girlfriend, Takes Pics and Uploads it to Photobucket
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Mary Kate Olsen Photoshoot Lookin’ AIght
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How About a Silhouette Blowjob – Reminds me of Grade School
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And The Money Shot
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Lookin’ Good Cankles – I Mean Sweetheart
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Avril Lavinge is Getting Sued By Some Band from the 70s – here the song
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Random Twisted Porno Pictures
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4th of July Titty and Vadge Flash in a Parking Lot….No One Ever Does This Shit For My Site But Seem To Love Doing For Other People’s Sites…I hate all of you.
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Al Gore III – Son of Al Gore II – Former VP of the USA and Environmental Activist Gets Arrested for Drugs….
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Big Brother 8 Premieres Tonight – Meet the Sluts
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Hungarian Party Pictures With Nudity
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Biker Gets Caught Fucking a Hooker
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Some Evangeline Undressing Video
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Throwback Girls Gone Wild Midget on the Beach Moment…
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Anna Wintour from Vogue’s Daughter is Some Socialite Editor of Teen Vogue Nepotism Slut. But Wire Images Didn’t Know That and That Made Me Laugh Cuz I Bet It Ruined Her Day Because She Thinks She’s So Important
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Sex in the City Movie is Going To Happen Even Though The Sluts are 10 Years Older and More Busted
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Victoria Beckham Says She Has a Size 32B Bra Size
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Paris Hilton on Cover of Smashing Pumpkin’s New Album – Not Sure Why….Maybe Cuz the Lead Singer is Some Poofter Who Likes Trannies….
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Some Lesbian Got Kicked Out of the Ladies Room For Lookin’ Like a Dude
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Britney’s New Bodyguard
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Aly and AJ Michalka are Total Sluts
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Some Slut Named Brooke Kinsella Bikini Action
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Candice Michelle Bikini WWE Shoot
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Drunk Girls Flashing Tit and Ass
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Lunch With Anne Hathaway in a Dress
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Janet Jackson is Pretty Fucking Fat Again. Bitch Loves Food.
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Ellen and Her Lesbian Portia Out Together – Not Eating Each Other Out
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Some Big Titty At the Restaurant Surprise
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Big Underwear is the Summer’s Hot New Trend
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Four Teen Lesbians Getting Naked Video
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Dead Bird in Cereal Prank is Fucking Funny
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Some Cam Girl in the Shower
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Use This To Get Laid – Because Sex is More Fun Than Sticking Things in Your Ass to Switch Up Masturbation Adventures
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

05

Jul

I am – ebay Slut of the Day

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I am not a very good business person, because if I was, I probably wouldn’t be doing this site, but I do know that marketing is pretty fucking basic on the internet. If you want people to look at your shit, you need to post pictures of sluts. So this ebay vendor who sells used clothes, found a slut in his hometown and got her to model the shit he is selling.

The reason I am posting this is almost out of sympathy. I know girls like this bitch who think they are a lot fucking hotter than they are. They dress in slutty cheap clothes, give off crazy attitude, get breast implants, lame tattoos, double tongue piercings and bad dye jobs. They date dudes they meet at the gym or the tanning salon, and they look up to pornstars and strippers but have more ambition than that so they take on their first modeling job they can get, thinking it will launch them into the world as the next hot thing, the next Tila Tequila, maybe a stint in Playboy or hosting parties around the country, but reality is that the fun ends here, with this ebay gig because the rest of the world sees past you skinny frame, stuffed bra, fake tan, weak chin and non existent ass.

Either way, I assume some of you fuckers are into girls like this and it’s a nice change from celebrity content so I decided to post it.


Visit her ebay profile it Will Link to All Her ebay Sales Pages with all her Pictures…
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Posted in:Ass|ebay|Model|Slut|Tits|Underwear|Unsorted

2007

05

Jul

I am – Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Lindsay Lohan in a bikini while taking some time off of rehab to enjoy the beach like anyone who has an addiction and is supposed to be being treated would. It’s like fuck counseling the sun is out, men with abs are waiting with booze and drugs at the Mailbu home, rehab can wait til it’s raining out.

I was talking to someone about Lindsay Lohan, well not actually talking to them, I’m not into talking about celebrities in my free time but I do listen to people talk about celebrities. This time it happened to come up when we were in line at the grocery store. I was buying cans of Chili because they are probably the best meal you can buy with 59 cents. Either way this married mother was talking to her friend about how much Lohan has pulled her shit together and how she’s so inspiring. I was thinking to myself that this shit is all for show. What do you think the lawyer’s number one argument for her DUI driving case is? That she’s cleaned up. So while she is seemingly in rehab sometimes and she is seemingly getting better because she goes on hikes, rides tricycles and cancels vodka sponsored parties and wears bikinis looking well rested and big breasted, the public is already warming up to this skank.

I remember when I knew a girl who used to let everyone fuck her. She seriously had sex with any guy she came across and one day she announced that she was a born again virgin. She joined all these stupid support groups for virgins that you all probably know about, she didn’t have sex for about 5 weeks, but every day in those 5 weeks I had to hear about it from someone. Reality is she went back to working cock after those 5 weeks, nothing really changed, but for those 5 weeks, bitch wasn’t looked at like a herpes ridden whore everyone knew she was, people looked at her with a whole different wholesome attitude. I knew all along that it was false hope and I’d tell my buddies over and over again that she’d be back, because her addiction to the cock was a lot more important to her than her need to be respected and heard….I was right.

Point of that story is to say that Lohan is keeping up appearances, trying to save face, trying to regain the trust of employers, trying to regain the trust of the public, trying to have a sold case in court all by taking a break from the parties for a little while, but I know that she is still nothing but a coke addicted whore. The old Lohan will be back….in the meantime her tits look fucking stacked and rehab or not, lies or not, I’m still gonna look at ’em.

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan|Rehab|Tits|Unsorted

2007

05

Jul

I am – Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carey on the Beach of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Hollywood “POWER” Couple, Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy on the beach holding hands and they freak me the fuck out. These two look like they are brother and sister and I don’t normally have any skills at spotting similarities in people. I am also not very good at remembering names, secret handshakes or anything I do after about 1 drink because I am convinced my liver gave out on me a few years ago and shit goes straight to my head like I was an anorexic 15 year old girl at my first club.

Either way, incest freaks me out so much that I even had a dream, some may call it a fantasy about it the other day. In the dream, I walked in on a brother and sister having sex. I was into watching them fuck at first because I am a voyeur but when I realized that they were two people I knew who were related I freaked the fuck out. When I confronted them they said that their parents were brother and sister and that their grandparents were brother and sister and they were just doing what they knew. It was a weird fucking dream that I have no idea where it came from but it made me stop asking people I know if they would bang their sister. I know talking about dreams is as gay as it gets but when incest is involved I just can’t keep it to myself.

When I was younger I met this dude who used to brag to us about how he took his sister’s cherry. He was kind of an idiot farmer and thought we’d think he was cool but shit was just too twisted for me to grasp. He would tell us that he would sneak into her room at night and have his way with her and she was totally into it. He would brag about how accessible it was and how we were all a bunch of virgin idiots who didn’t know that the prize was so close to home. I never knew what happened to that dude, because he ended up getting caught and sent away so don’t let Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy trick you into thinking this shit’s ok just because they are famous, how big her tits are or no matter how much you think that you’re the hottest thing out there and the only thing good enough for you is a bitch who looks like you….and remember no matter how long your hair is and no matter how many punk rock t-shirts you wear, you’re never hardcore when wearing schpants….

Posted in:Bikini|Implants|Incest|Jenny McCarthy|Jim Carey|Tits|Unsorted

2007

05

Jul

I am – Hilary Duff Bikini Pictures of the Day

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When I think of Hilary Duff in a bikini, I think of a time when she was underage and people would send me hate mail for calling her a slut in training and now I pat myself on the back because we know that no self respecting girl would whore out half naked on the beach with her sister and men with their hard nipples for dirtbag internet weirdos like you to get all hot and bothered over, meaning that I was right and since that rarely happens it makes me happy.

When I think of Hilary Duff I always think of that fucker that she dated. He is the DJ AM of rock music and that means he is even gayer than bicycles shorts partially because he’s dropped load in DJ AM’s sloppy useless seconds but also because he’s an overpaid monkey that doesn’t deserve to be where he’s at who wears monkey and is more into watching his twin brother bang chicks than banging them himself. I guess it’s just like watching himself in action.

I used to think that twins fucking each other wasn’t gay, I never thought about 2 dudes fucking each other, just the lesbian way because I was involved with a girl who had a twin and I always tried to get them to fuck, but they wouldn’t they weren’t the kind of twins you see in playboy.

Hilary’s sister is not her twin, she is the ugly version of her but she’s riding her fucking coat tails. I would still watch them bang because I have no standards but am happy that bitch kept her shirt on because I can only take so much DUFFGUSTING in one day. That’s my lame blogger name for these cunts because it seems to be what lame bloggers do and I am just trying to fit in.

Speaking of fitting in, I have a feeling that dude gave Hilary Duff a bit of a complex, when you leave your chick for someone who looks like a little boy, it’s gotta hurt somewhere, either leading her to anorexia or to throwing in the towel and emotionally eating her way out of it. By looking at these pictures I couldn’t tell you if bitch is fatter than before but she does have more tit, maybe it’s because she’s a late bloomer, maybe it’s because she went on the pill to prevent getting knocked up by some loser she knew was a loser but stuck with him anyway, maybe she should of used condoms because he probably gave her some HPV, HSV, HIV or something else he picked up on the road while banging dudes who looked like chick, but bigger tits is good enough reason to support her half assed music career, her half assed acting career by staring at these pictures of her playing in the sand like a person who lost their childhood to Disney. Another reason to like her is because she let’s fat hairy dudes who are too shy to take their shirts off at the beach hang with her and that pretty much describes all of you, so if she supports your kind, you should support hers. I learned that when I was overcoming my hatred of homosexuals.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Haylie Duff|Hilary Duff|Tits|Unsorted

2007

05

Jul

I am – The First of the Nick and Vanessa Pics to Surface…..

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So you’ve all heard the story, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo went to Mexico to celebrate their one year anniversary. Nick and Vanessa decide to have sex in the hot tub. Some creepy Mexican photographer who I wish I knew was there to witness the whole thing and get pictures. Nick and Vanessa put a stop to this shit before any of us got to see the uncensored pics.

One of my readers sent in what he called the uncensored pics, but they are pictures I had already seen and they are censored because there’s penetration shots, but I figured I’d pass it onto you. It’s almost 5 am, I am tired and I have no real interest in telling you the story about how I always planned to dump my wife on one of our anniversaries because I thought it would be funny to force her to get off her ass and go out to buy me a bottle of scotch and light up candles trying to be romantic then telling her that I don’t think shit’s working out, but that’s just because I am an asshole and resented her for breaking my penis by being so fat. Reality is I would never leave her, she pays my rent and is the mother of my stepkids and I am not prepared to venture out into that cold scary world alone, but if you’re a little more ambitious than me, I think you should do that to one of your girlfriends. I know you’ve never had a girlfriend, but you can’t go through life thinking that you’ll never have one, you just have to have hope.

The same hope I have to see a Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo picture with some fucking cum shot action to her face or something equally exciting, even though I can only assume she’s into taking load internal because that’s how Hollywood seems to roll, or role, I never know which role or roll to use.

Posting these pictures will land me a Lawyers letter from these amateur pornstars, at least they’ll know my name and reality is most people have had sex at least once, it’s not that big of a deal, maybe they need to stop taking themselves so seriously, it’s not like anyone in the ‘industry’ takes them seriously.


To See The Censored But Obvious Giving It To Her From Behind Pic
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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

04

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I figured no one would be reading the site today and I took advantage of that by ending up at a pub I had never been to before that I randomly walked into only be find that the waitresses wear thongs and bras as uniforms. They were old and haggard but it made for a more interesting lunch that I had planned. My lawyer took me out to catch up on things and he was so impressed with the place he tried to take a picture of it. The waitresses got mad at him and made him put the camera away.

The real issue is that on the walk back home, I noticed that every person who owns a Golden Lab drives Jeeps and wears Teva sandals, khaki shorts and look like they like days in the woods rock climbing or mountain bikini or white water rafting. That may not be interesting to you, but realize that it isn’t interesting to me either. I just don’t bother editing myself.

Here are my links, Happy American Day. Asshole.


Jessica Simpson in Orange is Dating Dane Cook Again Because He’s Not Funny.
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Christina Aguilera is Pregnant
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Her Name is Mawra and This is Her Nip Slip
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Brittany Bod Making Cookies With Her Big Tits…
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Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh Video
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Some Emma Watson from Harry Potter and a Clip to the New Movie for the Virgins Out There
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Michelle Marsh Slutting it out for the 4th of July
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Paris Hilton’s Myspace Message to the World
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Catherine Bell Photoshoot Video from a Long Time Ago
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Some British Slut Named Danni Wells Posing Half Naked Video
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Ass in Sports Picture of the Day
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Slut Named Amy Weber from WWE Posing…
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Some Loser Makes a Bomb out of Matchsticks
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Some European Film Commercial that’s Getting Huge Youtube Views Because It’s Got a Bunch of Sex Scene Clips Edited Together and is called Let’s Come Together….
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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The Art of the Bikini
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Elton John Takes a Back Seat to the Princes and is a Bitch About it.
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Kelly Osborne’s Got Stupid Fucking Hair and Shows Off Her Fat Fucking Legs
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Girl on Girl Action Video
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Pete Doherty’s Stuff Being Moved Out of Kate Moss’ House Marking the End of an Era
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I Don’t Understand Face Tattoos….
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Spohia Cahill Doing a Topless Shoot Video
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Kimberly Locke is Fat Spokesperson for Jenny Craig Cuz She Lost 30 of the 300 lbs she Needs to lose
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Fat Boss Vs. Office Chair Prank
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Fergie Shopping in Paris
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Married Man Gets Caught with 2 Hookers
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Some Women Fell in Love With a 17 Year Old on World of Warcraft. I can Only Assume Meeting a Bitch on a Video Game is One of Your Biggest Dreams
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Amputee Lesbian Porn
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Hidden Camera in the Changing
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Britney Spears Letter to the Paparazzi
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Celebrity Butt Plugs all about the Smell Gibson
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This dude’s got the motherload collection of Porn and Pictures of His family in the same photobucket album
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Some Chick Getting Naked in Public
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Playboy Playmate from 1989 Gets Arrested For D.U.I. (Article Links to her Playboy Pics)
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How about some Home Made Chastity Belts?
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800 Lbs Gorilla Vs 8 Year Old Boy Video
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Are You Going To The Redneck Games
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Some Asshole Pick Pocketing Tourists. It’s Good Business
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Dude’s Got Some Dancin Hands….
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This Spray Will Get You Laid
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted