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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day

Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day

Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day

Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day

Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2007

Jun

I am – Dita Von Tease Doing Her Routine in Tokyo of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are pictures of a half naked Dita Von Tease doing her stupid Burlesque show. It always involves her in a champagne class with nipple covers and a thong and as good as that sounds on paper, shit looks pretty fucking boring, not because she does the same routine over and fucking over like bitch is in Groundhog Day, but because she doesn’t show the world her box that Marilyn Manson shot his satan seed up inside.

I don’t really get the whole pinup girl craze that’s been going on the last couple years. It seems like only fat chicks really respond to the whole movement, because it gives them a false sense of sexiness and they wear corsets and show off their fat tits everywhere they go to celebrate that sexiness they never knew existed while they emotionally ate their ugly fat hearts out through high school when no one would slam them.

I also don’t understand the whole alternative model movement that is a lot like this 1950’s burlesque pinup shit, because these fat chicks in corsets get tattooed and pierced decide that they can be models and people will get off to their naked inked fat asses. The way I see it, they shouldn’t be allowed out of their ratty homes and jobs working as a cashier at the pharmacy and into the photo studio where they get naked, but guys like you, who aren’t into hot chicks, buy memberships to these Suicide Girls sites, fueling this whole fucking industry and making more and more ugly girls get tattooed to feel wanted. I guess you’re a fucking charitable organization and you at least get off because of it, which is more than I can say about people who donate to AIDS Babies in Africa Charities.

2007

Jun

I am – Jennifer Garner Paddle Surfing of the Day

106 Comments »

These are some pictures of Jennifer Garner doing something that I’ve never heard of before but I am not really well versed in celebrity beach activities. It’s called paddle surfing and it sounds as stupid as it looks, I don’t really understand why you’d want to be Tom Sawyering when you could be on a Yacht or canoe or if you wanted the rafting experience, you could hire some Native Hawaiian dude to do the paddling for you because you’re rich. But I think the bigger issues is why you need lessons in this “sport” because shit looks pretty fucking straight up. It’d be like taking lessons in floating in the pool on some blow up toy.

I don’t like this bitch, I never did. I don’t think she’s hot and I think Ben Affleck got stuck with her because bitch told him she was on the pill or some shit, forcing him to shotgun marry her and live this bullshit family life, because it was the responsible thing to do. You know waking up everyday telling himself that there’s new fresh pussy that wants his dick, while staring at her post pregnancy ass but realizing that he has to stick it out with this bitch, even though she only landed him by not being honest because it’s the right thing to do. I guess I could be wrong, but that’s the only way I’d end up with her and I’m pretty poor, desperate and a straight up disaster….

I like that this bitch is staying fit and wish that I had that kind of drive, but I am one of those guys that feels that watching girls work out or fuck around in bathing suit bottoms is exercise.

I woke up today feeling like I had raped myself up the ass with a liposuction vacuum set on blow not suck. I know feeling fat is supposed to be a chick thing but I got drunk last night snuck into a gas station at 4 am and stole a ton of shitty gas station food and ate it all. That may not sound like a big deal to some of you obese American readers who do that everynight, but I don’t want to turn into my wife and more importantly my sweat pants are starting to be a little snug, and not in a good way. In case you missed that joke, because it sucked, I was talking about my dick because getting hard in sweatpants is always offensive but welcomed when you haven’t been hard in what seems like years.

Either way, look at the fucking pictures and leave me alone. I am hung over or still drunk. I haven’t figured it out yet.

2007

Jun

I am- stepLINKS of the Day

8 Comments »

I have been listening to a group of black guys doing smoke shows with their 1990 Pontiac for the last fucking hour. All I can smell is burnt rubber and all I can hear is squealing in my ears. I am annoyed but don’t want to go outside because today is not my day to get shot. I figure if they are crazy enough to do smoke shows, motherfucker is crazy enough to throw me in the trunk and drive away,. In case you were wondering, I sit on a computer all day and I am not very strong….so I’ll just keep listening and hope this smell gets me high.

Here are my links…

Megan Fox and her Hot Maxim Shoot Because She’s Always hot
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Tricia Helfer Did Playboy and Now Does FHM
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Hayden Panettiere Makes Out With Her TV Dad
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Christina Aguilera is Pregnat, Big Breasted and Braless
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Johnny Knoxville Talks About Bush as he Does and Doesn’t Video
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Jessica Alba Has One Night Stands
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Paulina Rubio See Through Nipples While Performing
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Vida Guerra FHM 2006 Shoot Video Because Hot Fat Ass is Timeless
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Rachel Bilson Lookin Boring But Still Worth a Round
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Mishca Barton’s Future On Screen Lesbian Lover
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Beyonce on the Beach. They Say There’s a Nip Slip But I don’t See it
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Jessica Biel Bends Over for Justin Timberlake’s Mom
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Naked Bond Girls From Yesteryear
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Haggis Chick is an Amateur Photographer From Flickr Who Gets Naked
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A List of Obscure Dating Sites that Suite Your Niche
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Girls on the Beach Gallery
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See Your Vagina from the Inside and Give it to your Mom for Mother’s Day Since She Made it and Other Erotic Sculptures
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This is What Happens When You Lose 300 Lbs…I think being Fat is Better…Fatty.
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Pam Anderson Playboy Tribute Video
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Miley Cyrus is Billy Ray’s 14 Year Old Daughter and Will be 18 in 4 Years and You’ll Still Be in Your Mom’s Basement
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Crazy in Court Gun Fight
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Some Reporter Fucks Up
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Jennifer Aniston at some Book Event Not Lookin’ Hot…
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Paris Hilton Wrote Someone From Jail and that Someone Isn’t Me….My Fingers are Crossed Though…
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Money Talks Porn Clip Because Everyone Has a Price
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Israeli Defense Forces Girls Posing like the Dangerous Sluts they Are…
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Natalia Paris is a Columbian Top Model and this is her in Lingerie…
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These Losers Work at CollegeHumor and You Probably visit That Site Making You a Fucking Loser by Association. God I hate you….
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Drunk Party Girl Shows Her Cauliflowered Asshole
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New Sex Fetish Called Bagging
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A Bra Causes the Sewer to Collapse
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The Clinton’s Spoof the Sopranos
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Fergie on the Cover of Shape Magazine
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Britney Spears is Drinking Again
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Naomi Campbell’s Got Hard Nipples
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Jewel in Court
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Some Pervert Watches 2 Drunk Kids Getting it On
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Pam Anderson’s Tits and Her Bodyguard Lover….
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Angelina Jolie is 98 Lbs and Looks Amazing…Maybe She Got AIDS from an AIDS Baby….
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Man Gets Disability for Being Addicted to Heavy Metal…You Should Try it With Porn at least you wouldn’t be Lying….
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Japanese Sex In the Elevator Video
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Renee Zellweger is Fucking Scary Looking…
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Paris Hilton is Starving Herself. Nothing She Isn’t Used To….
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Jack Osborne Used to Bang Paris Hilton
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Gynecologist Imposter
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Find Pussy in Your Hometown Because There Are Sluts Everywhere, Even Sluts That Would Waste Their Time On You…
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

Jun

I am – Natasha Hamilton Topless Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

I posted these Natasha Hamiton Bikini Pictures last week or some shit. But it turns out that bitch doesn’t mind getting topless and where there are topless girls on the beach, there’s people like me looking for pictures taken of them to post here, because I don’t have the budget to follow these people around or spend my days on the beach and if I did have that budget, this bitch wouldn’t be one that I’d follow around.

She’s in Atomic Kitten, some UK Spice Girls the Next Generation group. She’s a red head and I am recently a fan of red heads because I alienated them for the last 20 years because the concept of red pubic hair made me feel sick to my stomach, but I guess as you get older and marry fat disgusting women, things change.

I was talking to some dude today about Drag KIngs, these are dykes who dress up like dudes and perform. He was telling me that he is pissed off that they don’t get enough media attention and I told him that that is because no one really wants to see chicks with hormone therapy beards, grown out armpit hair, dressed like dudes because Lesbians like chicks who even if they are masculine lookin’ still don’t pretend to be men, fags like dudes and hate the fact that these Kings have pussies, straight guys generally like tits and bisexuals are just too emo and confused to really count. My advice to all you bull dykes out there growing a mustache is to shave the fucker off now, because as long as your packin’ a uterus no one wants to see you pretend to be men.

That said, topless beaches are probably the best thing invented and girls who aren’t ashamed of themselves enough to cover up, like Natasha Hamilton’s tits save all of us money by not having to go to the strippers.

2007

Jun

I am – Cheryl Tweedy Cole Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

cheryl tweedy cole bikini pics

Here are some pictures of Girls Aloud Cheryl Tweedy, who is married to some soccer player named Ashley Cole, in a bikini sporting prison tattoos and animal print like the white trash trailer park whore that she wants to be, but can’t because she’s got too much fucking money.

Speaking of money, I rarely get emails and when I do they aren’t positive. Today’s email was from a site that used to link me saying that she gets too much hate mail for linking to me and that she’s going to have to stop linking me because if her fans don’t dig my site there’s no point in her throwin’ it up. Another site stopped linking me because they make money using google ads and google emailed them saying they will pull the plug if they keep linking me. Someone told me to try submitting my site to Digg.com because it drives a ton of traffic and lets face it I don’t love the fact that this is the coolest site on the internet that nobody every reads and would love to at least be able to buy myself a lap dance with this shit so I tried and my URL is blacklisted. It seems like everything on the internet is working against me for whatever fucking reason. I am not complaining I am still going to do what I do, because I don’t have anything better to do but I really don’t think what I do is porn, but everyone else seems to think it is and that is a fucking problem to me.

If I was jerking off on the computer, I’d hit up sites that have girls masturbating, sucking dick or getting fucked. I am not really into fetish shit, but if I was I would hit that shit up. The shit I throw up here except for a few stepLINKS is shit I’d like my 14 year old stepDaughter see, but then again I’d pretty much let her watch anything, she’s not my kid and don’t really care if she’s watching shit she shouldn’t, it’s her mother’s job, maybe I am lazy, but I like to think of it as being a liberal parent who lets the kids figure shit out on their own.

But that’s not the problem. The problem is you. Stop jerking off to this shit, it’s not meant to be jerked off to and guys like you are guys you see in the park jerking off to girls tanning or guys you see on the bus jerking off to girls reading or guys you see in the ice cream shop jerking off to girls eating ice cream and that’s not the kinda crowd I am trying to get here.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Cheryl Tweedy|Girls Aloud|Unsorted

2007

Jun

I am â€“ Pam Anderson Breasts Do Magic of the Day

135 Comments »

So here are some pictures of Pam Anderson and her retarded magician friend on the TODAY Show performing their act. His biggest magic trick is foolin us into thinking that Pam Anderson still has a career after Hepatitis.. Proving that a career based on big tits does have staying power, even though, this shitty gig is less status than being a Price is Right girl, itâ€™s almost as bad as working the local car show, but sheâ€™s doing it in a one piece bathing suit and thatâ€™s good enough for me because lookin at her obscenely huge cans and weird discolored rash/scar/birthmark reminds me of what dreams are made of.

I am posting a post that a girl sent into me. I wasnâ€™t going to post it but she bribed me with pussy pictures of herself and I am all about box shots. So hereâ€™s her post on some cunt named Scott Baio and his new reality TV show that no one will watch. The tie in is that he slammed Pam Anderson.

I am – Beating a Dead Horse Named Scott Baio with My Clit Ring of the Day

I don’t know about you, but when I used to turn on the TV to watch some music videos, you’d turn on MTV or VH1. That line of thinking is apparently wrong. VH1 has decided that Scott Baio would be their newest edition to the already overpopulated laundry list of shitty reality TV shows starting in July. Chaci is now 45 years old and single. The difference between you and Baio is that he didn’t have to jerk it to Pam Anderson, he actually got to fuck her (pre-tit job) and they were once engaged. Baio lost his virginity to Erin Moran, his co-star on Happy Days, fucked Charles in Charge and future Baywatch babe, Nicole Eggert. Denise Richards and Heather Locklear have both slept with Baio as well as Brooke Shields. Even Liza Minnelli wanted his sperm. Weird. Erika Eleniak, Nicolette Sheridan, Beverly D’Angelo and Natalie Raitano have all been slammed by the native New Yorker along with countless other playmates. Chaci has been a staple at the Playboy mansion for the last few decades. The only thing you could possibly relate to in Baio’s reality is that he’s forty-five and single and if you’re not there yet, you will be.

During the show, Scott Baio is 45â€¦ And Single!, Baio asks the question, “How can I have been with some of the hottest women in Hollywood and still be single?” Well, probably because boinking all those sluts left his dick looking like it went through a meat grinder and sprinkled with parsley. Next year,Scott Baio is 46â€¦ And Dead!

Unfortunately this post reads like a fucking wikipedia entry, and this bitch has more business writing press releases for VH1 than she does for me. It didnâ€™t make me laugh but I have been known to be a bit of a joke snob, not because I think I am the funniest motherfucker out there, but because itâ€™s hard to make a broken bird laugh. At least thatâ€™s my theory as to why I find every obvious joke I read offensive.

On the positive side of things, it does prove the things I will do for pussy. I am pretty fucking easy, some would call me a whore, others call me a creep but above everything, I am a pervert.

2007

Jun

I am – Pam Anderson Breasts Do Magic of the Day

No Comments »

So here are some pictures of Pam Anderson and her retarded magician friend on the TODAY Show performing their act. His biggest magic trick is foolin us into thinking that Pam Anderson still has a career after Hepatitis.. Proving that a career based on big tits does have staying power, even though, this shitty gig is less status than being a Price is Right girl, it’s almost as bad as working the local car show, but she’s doing it in a one piece bathing suit and that’s good enough for me because lookin at her obscenely huge cans and weird discolored rash/scar/birthmark reminds me of what dreams are made of.

I am posting a post that a girl sent into me. I wasn’t going to post it but she bribed me with pussy pictures of herself and I am all about box shots. So here’s her post on some cunt named Scott Baio and his new reality TV show that no one will watch. The tie in is that he slammed Pam Anderson.

I am – Beating a Dead Horse Named Scott Baio with My Clit Ring of the Day

I don’t know about you, but when I used to turn on the TV to watch some music videos, you’d turn on MTV or VH1. That line of thinking is apparently wrong. VH1 has decided that Scott Baio would be their newest edition to the already overpopulated laundry list of shitty reality TV shows starting in July. Chaci is now 45 years old and single. The difference between you and Baio is that he didn’t have to jerk it to Pam Anderson, he actually got to fuck her (pre-tit job) and they were once engaged. Baio lost his virginity to Erin Moran, his co-star on Happy Days, fucked Charles in Charge and future Baywatch babe, Nicole Eggert. Denise Richards and Heather Locklear have both slept with Baio as well as Brooke Shields. Even Liza Minnelli wanted his sperm. Weird. Erika Eleniak, Nicolette Sheridan, Beverly D’Angelo and Natalie Raitano have all been slammed by the native New Yorker along with countless other playmates. Chaci has been a staple at the Playboy mansion for the last few decades. The only thing you could possibly relate to in Baio’s reality is that he’s forty-five and single and if you’re not there yet, you will be.

During the show, Scott Baio is 45… And Single!, Baio asks the question, “How can I have been with some of the hottest women in Hollywood and still be single?” Well, probably because boinking all those sluts left his dick looking like it went through a meat grinder and sprinkled with parsley. Next year,Scott Baio is 46… And Dead!

Unfortunately this post reads like a fucking wikipedia entry, and this bitch has more business writing press releases for VH1 than she does for me. It didn’t make me laugh but I have been known to be a bit of a joke snob, not because I think I am the funniest motherfucker out there, but because it’s hard to make a broken bird laugh. At least that’s my theory as to why I find every obvious joke I read offensive.

On the positive side of things, it does prove the things I will do for pussy. I am pretty fucking easy, some would call me a whore, others call me a creep but above everything, I am a pervert.

2007

Jun

I am – Jessica Biel in a Bikini for GQ of the Day

98 Comments »

I don’t usually bother with magazine pictures because they are doctored, boring and taken by professionals. I also don’t get as excited as I do when I rip off pictures taken by immigrant’s with cameras trying to live the dream by taking pictures of famous people doing everyday things, like walking their dogs, working out, walking the red carpet, eating, nipple slipping, see through dressing, but these Jessica Biel in a bikini pictures were worth doing because she looks worth a fuck for a change.

I rip into her for being built like a dude, with her broad shoulders and sturdy frame that could probably hurt me if she decided to come after me when she finds me hiding under her bed when I become more ambitious at getting the hottest content on the site, which won’t happen because I am lazy, but I was just saying.

She’s addicted to working out, she probably doesn’t have a cock, but that doesn’t mean bitch isn’t a top and if she does, the thing was photoshopped out, so I guess that’s the benefit of these professional pictures, it allows you to get off to a man, without thinking you’re getting off to a man, and means you’re not as gay as your friends think you are for always trying to get them to show you their dicks.

I once knew a football player who told me that you’re not a real man until you’ve had a dick in your mouth. He said that if you suck a guy off and don’t get turned on in the process that it is the best test of your comfort in your sexuality. I don’t really agree, to me the second you’ve got your buddy’s load dripping down the back of your throat, whether you got off or not, you’re a fucking ‘mo.

2007

Jun

I am – Toastee From Flavor of Love Sex Tape of the Day

1 Comment »

Some dude just asked me to sing the song Lip Gloss by Lil’ Mama to him over the phone. I don’t know what that song is or what motherfucker was implying when he wrote that to me, but I can only assume it was gay.

I also got an email about some whore named Toastee who is in some new celebrity sex tape video from Vivid, because Vivid is hooked on releasing celebrity sex tapes, even when the people are half rate celebrities. She was on some show called Flavor of Love, that I have heard of, but have never seen, but I don’t think that qualifies her as being a celebrity or having a celebrity sex tape. She’s just a girl with a dream of living the life and the only way for her talentless self to live the dream is by fucking on camera. It’s called being a fucking pornstar and girls have been exploiting themselves for money forever, because let’s face it, if you have no self respect it’s a pretty fucking easy job.

I watched the trailer, took some screenshots to show you pretty much all you’re going to see in it and I don’t really think this bitch deserves a post, I kinda hate all these reality TV stars who thought being on TV would make them famous and are now trying to find ways to stay in the limelight by showing their cunts. Not that Flavor of Love was a big deal or could really count as making anyone famous, but these bitches are clearly idiots dying for attention that even if you threw them up on public access they’d think they were Paris Hilton.

I shouldn’t be so hard on her though, because if all girls were like Toastee, I’d have a lot of content to work with, but I’d also hate every girl out there for being a whore, and I’d probably take Lip Gloss boy up on his offer, if you know what I mean. Thank god it hasn’t come to that. Cuddles.

Check Out the Trailer and Official Site
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2007

Jun

I am – Ashley Olsen’s See Through Skirt of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are pictures of Ashley Olsen the other day wearing a see-through dress.

I know these Olsen bitches are considered to be fashion icons. A few years ago when the mainstream rich kids were making the move from designer Italian jean companies to things like “i pay for hair product that makes me look like I don’t wash instead of just not washing”, thrift stores, over-sized glasses and Jewish outfits of the day, trying their best to look busted up and dirty even though they lived in million dollar homes with their parents who drive luxury cars and went to private schools and had allowances and access to the credit card to buy anything they want but chose to buy ratty pieces of shit. Well, I blame the Olsen’s for that.

I guess it’s always been around, you know the whole rich kid trying to pretend he’s not rich by lookin’ poor or the thug from the ghetto jackin’ himself in gold and diamonds and driving luxury cars to look rich. People just aren’t happy being what they are born into. Well I will say that if I was born into a rich house, I’d be wearing Yacht Club and Country Club clothes every fucking day. I am tired of smelling my own ass while typing up posts.

On a side note, I hope this style hits it big so that I can make creepy faces at girls wearing them, it’s kinda what I do, maybe it’s my way of rebelling against being married.

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Ass|See Thru|Unsorted