DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2006

02

Feb

80s T-Shirt of the Day

I love how every fucking loser and their best friend rocked a pink shirt last year. You know the kind of guy who goes to the gym a lot, rocks gelled hair, enjoys talkin’ shit about “faggots” and “pussy”, meanwhile loves hangin’ out in the gym locker and lookin’ at his friend’s dick in the shower. You know the kind of pink shirt wearing homo that has a wop accent, that wears alligator elf boots and a tight pair of Energie jeans. Well, I am not gonna let those Gino motherfuckers fuck with the pink t-shirt. I think they are over that trend, so the cool kids can officially rock pink again. This Miami Vice shirt is hot, I don’t care how homo you think it may be. Sometimes Pink is the New Blog, othertimes pink is a safe choice for t-shirts, especially when it says Miami Vice on it, cuz everything in Miami is pink, except for the spic pussy, which is a nicer shade of brown/purple/black/baby factory. Don’t let gino’s ruin your steez.

Get Yours Now

Posted in:80s|Unsorted

2006

02

Feb

Penelope Cruz Yellow Bikini

3 Comments »

I like when the Paparazzi take pictures of celebrities on the beach, during their vacations. They deserve it, considering an Actor’s life is a fuckin’ vacation. Try working in a factory you motherfuckers, an entire life to just pay the fuckin’ rent, while you sip your cocktails, play on your cell phones and order around some local slave you hired. Point of the story is I like that Penelope’s boyfriend dresses like he’s homeless and is still recognized as one of people’s most beautiful people. If you’re wondering why I know that, my fat wife like to read magazines and recite the whole motherfucker to me when I am cornered, and forced to talk to her. Either way, here are some of the bikini pics all the loser celebrity bloggers will be posting, remember you got it here first. I am watching phone sex infomercials. My life is fucking complete. Fuck you.

2006

02

Feb

St Tropez Tits

3 Comments »

Kylie Minogue

Elle McPherson

There’s something really sexy about France. Everytime I hear a french word I get a little tingle. I am not a well travelled man, I’ve been to a handful of places, and I am not here to discuss my pathetic life, I am here to say that in St Tropez which is in the South of France according to google, bitches go topless. Lucky for you these pics are topless pics of semi-famous bitches. Now Kylie still has tits and hair so I am not sure how recent these are, but the McPherson pics look new. Bitch is gettin’ thick, like a nice pair of wool socks. The irony of this picture is that bitch is washing her cooch, she’s in france, french bitches don’t know what washing means, all they know is cheese, bread, wine and pubic hair. I fuckin’ love pubic hair. I know this post was just a waste of your time, probably a lot of time to some of my semi-literate readers, who mulled over this for 45 minutes, just realize I woke up with a wheeze, and think I may be dying. Cuddles.

2006

01

Feb

DrunkenStepfather Interview

No Comments »

I was approached by a local montreal website to do an interview. I have never done an interview and I hate reading the shit that I said after the fact, kinda like those celebrities who never watch their own movies cuz it makes them feel all shy and embarassed and shit. When they are interviewed they say shit like “I hate seeing myself on camera” and giggle, well, I would say that’s why I didn’t read the interview, but reality is I am way too lazy. There are a lot of fucking words, and I figure if they came from me, they can’t be too interesting. I have a feeling that this motherfucker only interviewed me to get linked on my site, joke’s on him, I only have one reader and it’s you.

Here’s a quote from the interview, cuz quoting myself is sexy.

I heard about your website awhile back, on it you mentioned to me while you that had a bunch of stepchildren. Being a proud parent, do you have any advice for young people raising their children? What’s it like having to pick up where a lousy parent left off?

I don’t raise them, I just help them shower and drive them to swim practice.

READ THE INTERVIEW HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized

2006

01

Feb

Lisa Loeb Bra

19 Comments »

If you scroll down the page about 3 posts you willl see pictures of Lisa Loeb in her thong. I already said all I had to say about her, other than tease her for wearing glasses and having small tits, that’s right 4-eyes 2 x 4, why don’t you keep your fucking tits in your shirt. I take that back, I want my life to be like an episode of girls gone wild, I’m talking getting flashed everywhere I go, like the bank, in church and by the kids at the daycare I volunteer at. That would be hot.

Posted in:Boobs|Bra|Lisa Loeb|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

01

Feb

Giorgia Palmas in Bikini

7 Comments »

I don’t like Italians only because of their gay little vespa scooters. That shit is so fucking homo that I can taste the cock while walking by the Vespa store near my my house. If you are wondering why I know what cock tastes like, it’s cuz I spent some time in prison. Either way, this bitch is some kinda famous in Italy – I don’t know what she does or how she does it, but I got no problem lookin at her ass while she’s doing it.

Posted in:Bikini|Giorgia Palmas|Italian|Naked|Unsorted

2006

01

Feb

Foreign Big Brother Sex Scene

3 Comments »

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This is a clip from some foreign Big Brother. Don’t ask me what season or what country, cuz I don’t speak European. The clip is hysterical because it looks like the girl just propositions the guy to fuck, even though he’s dressed like a circus performer, but I guess it’s the whole “Last Man on Earth” scenario. Anyway, they go to the room, they try to set up a “Safety Wall” so that they aren’t spotted on camera, all while the camera man is zoomin up on them in all their glory, and by glory I mean disgustingness, but glory is a nicer word than disgustingness.

Watch the Video Here

Posted in:Big Brother|Sex|Slut|Unsorted

2006

01

Feb

Matthew Good’s Wife

1 Comment »

Most of you don’t know who Matthew Good is, and the only reason I do know who he is, is because every Jewish girl I have ever met has loved this guy. He has a Canadian band, has worked ont he soundtrack of Smallville, who gives a fuck. I don’t know shit about his music, but I came across his wife’s blog and she’s hot. I guess that even if you’re a useless Canadian rockstar, you still score the hot bitches. He is probably more interesting to marry than a factory worker, even if though they probably make the same amount of money. He’s in a Canadian band. I don’t know what I am writing. But she has a tongue ring and I am sure he met her in a strip club, but that’s just me speculating.

Check out her blog

** i fixed the link, I sent 2000 people to the wrong site, I’d say sorry but don’t really mean it.

Posted in:Hot|Matthew Good|Unsorted|wife

2006

01

Feb

Matthew Good's Wife

1 Comment »

Most of you don’t know who Matthew Good is, and the only reason I do know who he is, is because every Jewish girl I have ever met has loved this guy. He has a Canadian band, has worked ont he soundtrack of Smallville, who gives a fuck. I don’t know shit about his music, but I came across his wife’s blog and she’s hot. I guess that even if you’re a useless Canadian rockstar, you still score the hot bitches. He is probably more interesting to marry than a factory worker, even if though they probably make the same amount of money. He’s in a Canadian band. I don’t know what I am writing. But she has a tongue ring and I am sure he met her in a strip club, but that’s just me speculating.

Check out her blog

** i fixed the link, I sent 2000 people to the wrong site, I’d say sorry but don’t really mean it.

Posted in:Hot|Matthew Good|Unsorted|wife

2006

31

Jan

Christina Aguilera Vintage Porn

12 Comments »

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I am planning on doing somet 1920’s themed things, I haven’t figured out what those things will be, but I watched the whole season of Carnivale, I love vintage porn/eroticism/burlesque and I like Agent Provocateur lingerie. There’s nothing funny about my fetish, other than the fact that when I was a kid I used to jerk off to pics of my grandmother and my mother in vintage style lingerie. To most, jerking off to your mom or your grandmother is wrong, but whatever dude, I am mexican, I call it limited fucking resources.

I came across this Christina Aguilera video made to look like vintage erotica, and bitch looks hot. I have no idea if this is a music video because my computer is on mute, but I have watched in 3 times. I am in love.

Watch the Video Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted