DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2006

19

Jan

Cat Deeley Bikini Pics of the Day

Again, another British celeb in a bikini. This time some girl named Cat Deeley. She was the host of many MTV shows, I didn’t really check out what she’s up to now. She could still be an MTV host. The reason I am posting these pics is primarily because she is a “celebrity” I have never heard of in a bikini, which is something I commited to posting about in my Martine McCutcheon post just 3 minutes ago. I have nothing to say about this one, other than I like the way she serves her man a beer. I am not saying that because I think a women should wait on her man hand and feet, I do say it because I have a wife who can’t even open a can of fucking beans for me because her wrists are too fat to give her can-opening mobility. I’d tell her to take a hint from Cat Deeley, our useless bikini clad celebrity of the day, but my bitch doesn’t know who to read english. That is the end of this story.

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Cat Deeley|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Martine McCutcheon Bikini Pics of the Day

4 Comments »

I have a thing for obscure celebrities in bikinis. It seems like a constant issue with this site. I find pics of “celebrities” I have never heard of in their bikinis, and I throw up the pics. I don’t really know why I do it, I assume that no one really reads this site anyway, but I do it. So this lovely lady’s name is Martine McCutcheon. She was in a Hugh Grant movie called Love Actually, and she is supposed to be huge in England. Well according the these pics, she’s also huge in the USA. I hate making fat jokes, cuz I know they are the lowest common denominator, I also know that most of you are fat and/or have fat girlfriends. I know that you will all defend Martine because she has breasts, and you find anything with breasts hot. I am not hear to shit on your parade, so I won’t talk about how fat she is because we all know, if I wasn’t impotent, and was drunk, I’d probably stuff her like a turkey too, and it’s not even thanksgiving yet.

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Martine McCutcheon|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Serena Williams is an Athlete

9 Comments »

I am not one to criticize someone for having a bad picture taken of them. I don’t think that would be fair, considering every picture of me is pretty fucking bad. I am not really one to criticize someone for being fat, especially when she’s a pro tennis player and wins all the fucking time. I am not about to pull up her stats, but by lookin at this pic, it seems like the way she wins is by eating the person she is playing against, or maybe she just sits on them until they give up. By lookin’ at this pic, there is no way that Serena “Heffer” Williams is an athlete anymore.

Posted in:Athlete|Body|Serena Williams|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Myspace Challenge

No Comments »

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I decided that I am worthless. Nothing without a lot of myspace friends. I have 800 now, but want 100,000. Like all those slutty webcam whores. I may not be a hot bitch, but I deserve myspace love too.

So check out my ghetto profile, Add Me, and don’t expect me to message you or leave comments, cuz I am too lazy for that shit.

If you are a hot girl – I will probably ask you for nude pics.

The goal is 100,000 friends.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW MY PROFILE

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfahter.com

Posted in:challenge|MySpace|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Double Viking at the AVN’s

2 Comments »

Porno is played out, at least it is for me. I don’t give a shit about some abused/molested/useless girl from the midwest who moves to Porn Valley to make it big in the pictures. I try to stay as far away from dysfunction as possible. Whenever I am forced to watch a porno by my fat wife, she’s into that shit sometimes, I can’t help but think how many cocks have been inside that dumb bitch’s ass. Point of the story is that I’d rather get off to some local bitch with just as many fuckin issues as these porn bitches, but has enough decency to keep it to her whoreself, instead of announcing to the world that her daddy never loved her by taking a load on her face.

Point of this post is to say, DoubleViking is making the new DrunkenStepfather.com site for us, and to show our appreciation and to tell him to hurry the fuck up on it, we are pluggin his video.

If you want an update on the new DrunkenStepfather.com website, feel free to email DoubleViking@gmail.com to speed up his tanned Miami ass.

Watch the Video Here (NSFW for non-stepfather readers, I know you’re all a different breed of pervert than most, and that’s why I keep doin this bullshit.)

Posted in:AVN|Double Viking|Porn|porn awards|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Double Viking at the AVN's

No Comments »

Porno is played out, at least it is for me. I don’t give a shit about some abused/molested/useless girl from the midwest who moves to Porn Valley to make it big in the pictures. I try to stay as far away from dysfunction as possible. Whenever I am forced to watch a porno by my fat wife, she’s into that shit sometimes, I can’t help but think how many cocks have been inside that dumb bitch’s ass. Point of the story is that I’d rather get off to some local bitch with just as many fuckin issues as these porn bitches, but has enough decency to keep it to her whoreself, instead of announcing to the world that her daddy never loved her by taking a load on her face.

Point of this post is to say, DoubleViking is making the new DrunkenStepfather.com site for us, and to show our appreciation and to tell him to hurry the fuck up on it, we are pluggin his video.

If you want an update on the new DrunkenStepfather.com website, feel free to email DoubleViking@gmail.com to speed up his tanned Miami ass.

Watch the Video Here (NSFW for non-stepfather readers, I know you’re all a different breed of pervert than most, and that’s why I keep doin this bullshit.)

Posted in:AVN|Double Viking|Porn|porn awards|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Lap Dance Competition

5 Comments »

What’s up with drunken bitches being all slutty and shit? I don’t understand why a girl goes fuckin’ insane when out at some shitty bar named Joey’s after drinking a few too many Coors Lights and a Vodka Redbull. You know this kind of bitch works at your local diner, and she doesn’t put out for her boyfriends, but when she’s out ith her friends and gets a couple drinks in her, the next thing you know, she’s up on stage grinding her pussy in some fucker’s face, while her friend is flashing her pussy to the camera and that is the story of how all the straight lookin’ girls end up with herpes and abortions. It all starts with the bottle.

Here’s some video of an amateur lap dance competition, I am guessing it’s like a wet t-shirt competition, only instead of t-shirts that are wet, there’s a dude on a chair getting grinded. I find it trashy as all hell, but you’ll probably like it. But that’s cuz I like hot girls – not anything that has a set of tits, Low life.

Watch the Videos:

Lap Dance Fatty 1
Lap Dance Fatty 2
Lap Dance Fatty 3
Lap Dance Fatty 4

Posted in:competition|Lap Dance|Sluts|Stripper|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Poodle Girl of the Day

1 Comment »

This is my chance to say some kind of bitch joke, cuz this slag’s dressed like a poodle. Get it? Yeah, I figured you’d find that funny you useless twat, you like it when I come in on the obvious front don’t you, easier to understand. I found these pics in some hot girl’s myspace. I saved the pics and didn’t save her profile so I guess I’ll never get her on all fours eating dog food out of a bowl on the floor at my house. By house I mean shanty, and not the Shanti a friend of mine just fucked. I’m talking dirty little cabin made out of mud and straw motherfucker.

Posted in:poodle girl|slag|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Ryan Seacrest Trying to Fool Us

1 Comment »

Ryan Seacrest is a total cunt. Just because he’s with a bitch, doesn’t mean he is into them. He’s a total poofter and this has been Ryan Seacrest Pretending he’s not gay, Picture of the Day. Even if this motherfucker had a sex tape come out where he’s fuckin 8 chicks, everyone would know it’s a cover-up. You’re not foolin any of us. Jesus Martinez – OUT – fucker.

2006

19

Jan

Lauren Pope Plastic Tits

4 Comments »

I would like to take a second to laugh at plastic surgery. This bitch was a Page 3 model in the UK, I’m guessin’ a while ago, and was known for having the smallest Page 3 titties ever. I guess that title got her a little insecure about her rack and next thing I know she’s at the premiere of Get Rich or Die Trying (on of America’s proudest moment’s in Film History), in nothing but a bra.
I guess the lacey thing makes it an official shirt, either wzay her tits and face look all plastic. I’m sure she got this done a long time ago – I just thinks it’s nice to compare her new pics with the old ones. Yeah – I am not feeling funny today.

See her before pics here

Posted in:Body|fake boobs|Lauren Pope|Tits|Unsorted