DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

16

Jun

Pia Mia Bolt Ons In Lingerie of the Day

Pia Mia Perez is some child star who I guess was never a child star, but she was from GUAM where I know strippers migrate to have that tropical south pacific ocean lifestyle, making stupid money from the horny sailors stationed there, by working the strip club and scamming them out of their weekly stipend.

Anyway, she would have done well back home getting fucked with her thailand looking tits, not in a race way, in a discount plastic surgery way….and instead her family moved her to the mainland, got her casting for god knows what got her famous, but she was famous…and instead of pursuing that she said “fuck it, I’ll sell nudes”…

These may or may not be her nudes she’s selling, but they are a tiny famous child star who barely was but was enough to be famous in lingerie busting out and it’s a friendly reminder that she exists…I mean I can’t think of a better “POKE”….if you know what I mean..and if you don’t…I don’t mean sexual poking…that’s some gay ass term for getting your dick wet…”I poked her”….I mean a fucking reminder like on Facebook in the early days when the CIA was first unrolling it to the masses…I guess “PING” would have been a better word…fuck it, lingerie, look.

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Posted in:Pia Mia|Pia Mia Perez

2021

16

Jun

Nina Agdal Got Them Titties On of the Day

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Nina Agdal has been a pretty unimpressive model from my perspective, not for my standards, because I have no standards. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’ll stick my dick in anything and you don’t even have to dare me….assuming you can manage to find it…

Point being, I thought her fitness was alright, but her big facial features that made her look creepy as shit didn’t really outweigh that and I assumed she knew she had pulled off a scam and couldn’t believe her own hype…because there was a level of hype around her…I mean she did SI…just like Chrissy Teigen…probably at the same time as that pig bitch wallet fucker….

But I guess wallet fucking is one of the requirements the SI models have in their fucking application form, because it’s a launch pad for sugar babying on a higher fucking level, not a higher level of consciousness, nothing is promoting that now that they want us all dumb fucks….but on a higher level because it allows them to get fucked by athletes.

Anyway, overrated, believes her own hype, not that hot or not…she’s starting to grow on me, even though she’s in her mid 30s, because she does fitness and I hate fat chicks, so anyone promoting fitness to end fat chicks is a fucking hero.

NO FAT CHICKS ALLOWED.

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Posted in:Nina Agdal

2021

16

Jun

Weed Girl Wednesday of the Day

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It’s WEED GIRL WEDNESDAY to remind you that many girls who look like they smoke a lot of weed, all snacked up from the munchies and lazy in front of the screen, but not too lazy to capture their best possible weed themed content knowing that fringe models have a chance with fringe companies looking for dudes into weed and the girls who smoke it…it’s one of those find your angles, run with it, cuz we’re all pervert and the right ones will find you…

I appreciate these weed girls, even if I think being overly into weed in and of itself is pretty lame, it’s important for the activism to legalize it, cuz it’s barely a drug, it’s a fucking plant and it gets you barely high, relaxed, well rested, oftentimes focused and clear visioned…so fuck all the haters…

Yes, I am a drinker, but I can still think an organic barely a drug being illegal is just evidence that the government is not on our side….they control us and you shouldn’t forget that…fight for your right to party bro.

(more…)

Posted in:Weed

2021

16

Jun

Daisy Lowe Cleavage of the Day

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Daisy Lowe is Gwen Stefani’s unwanted stepdaughter…or was before that dude went to the dude ranch and got Country for Blake Shelton who couldn’t full embrace his queer tendancies for obvious Gay Cowboy reasons, you know we can’t all be Brokeback Mountain….right Jake Gyllenhaal you faggot….so go for the best option, that manly bitch with cut abs who if you fuck up the ass the right way could be as close to vagina-less as possible.

Prior to the Cowboy, she was with a guy who had a thing for Trannies, shocking, naked Gavin Rossdale….

Gavin Rossdale on some of his early escapades knocked up a groupie as these people do and when the daughter was 14 she learned that she was the heiress to the BUSH empire, no not the beer, the shitty band that had a popular song called Glycerine, which was about the lube he uses when he fucks the trannies in his life…

Apparently, she thought she was her mom’s husbands kid…because that’s normally how this whole having babies thing works…but a paternity test proved otherwise…that mom was a slut groupie who let some Gavin Rossdale semen inside her….AND IT STUCK…

Turns out that works out great for her career…she became a big titty model, now she’s an old big titty model who was, but the point is…the big titties…

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Posted in:Daisy Lowe

2021

16

Jun

Alexina Graham Bikini of the Day

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Alexina Graham may look like she’s about to Irish Dance on your dick in some penis abuse fetish video, you know cuz of her red hair and fair skin that typically freaks me out because I feel that the hatred of Gingers has been something that has been around since the dawn of humanity, where cavemen would kill off the ginger thinking it was sent there from hell, maybe eating the ginger heart for their ginger powers and that hasn’t really ever changed since….it’s also the reason I think gingers have super retard strength because their DNA is coded to survive being left in the woods as babies….I saw WILLOW and I know how it is…

Anyway, this Irish Dancer who may not be Irish Dancer at all, since she’s from the UK….and has apparently worked for Victoria’s Secret cuz of her tits…because gingers, along with fluorescent pubic hair you can use to guide ships into port on a stormy night out in Glasgow…can have tits…and clearly this one likes showing hers…on instagram where Zuckerberg moonlights as a pornographer.

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Posted in:Alexina Graham

2021

16

Jun

Amelia Hamlin See Through Bra and Panties of the Day

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Amelia Hamlin is Lisa Rina’s daughter who as you’d expect is a bottom feeder in Hollywood, just like her mother…some Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree situation where Fame and Fortune and being followed and relevant is ALL THAT FUCKING matters in their money grubbing disgusting meaningless existence that no one seems to see as disgusting and meaningless because all these other narcissistic fucks look onto people like this as idols or as goals or would it be #goals because they are actually mindless idiots with no real intelligence at all…BUT AT LEAST THEY POST THE NUDES and SEMI NUDES like low level pornographers who don’t film themselves getting fucked, at least not yet.

This one is fucking a Kardashian affiliate, he’s either her handler or just a rich pervert with access and who understands her needs and wants…because a regular sugar daddy isn’t enough, she needs one who understands what being famous for being a talentless hack is about, since the Rina girls don’t got no marketable talents other than half nudes…and I guess what it comes down to is who fucking cares, I’ll still look at the half nudes.

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Posted in:Amelia Hamlin

2021

16

Jun

Anya Taylor Joy Has No Ass in Fishnets of the Day

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I have had this post cued up since May 26 and it got forgotten in the mix for obvious uneventful ass reasons…I assume that this is from SNL or some other lame as shit propaganda they’ve confused people into thinking is funny…where an Anya Taylor Joy in fetish gear isn’t enough to impress me…but that’s likely because she’s got no ass…it was probably fucked off her on her rise to super stardom….

I like skinny bitches, but I like skinny bitches who have asses…the no ass thing kinda ruins everything…what the fuck does she think this is, the 90s when hormones in the food werent turning everyone into weirdly shaped instagram bodies…get it together ANYA TAYLOR.

I’d post some current shit of hers, since this is 3 weeks old, but her current shit sucks, that’s what happens when you get that taste of fame and you’re making more money than expected, you forget to take slutty selfies to promote yourself to your fans…

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Posted in:anya taylor joy

2021

16

Jun

Chelsea Handler Burns Her Ass of the Day

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Chelsea Handler is rumored to be going on tour because she’s vaccinated and horny, which is the name of the show….which makes sense because girls are allowed to have wet pussies if they want..men aren’t allowed to talk about their erections because boners are perverted and symbols of oppression…just ask the girls who got Louie CK cancelled…not that I think any comedian shouldn’t be cancelled…they are all losers who don’t stand by their jokes, who are fame whore idiots, oftentimes one trick ponies who found a hook that worked for them, and they just consistently repeat themselves and their jokes and it’s all so unimpressive…especially now that they are scared for being cancelled despite having made stupid money in the lamest and easiest way….so their jokes aren’t progressive or interesting…its’ all woke shit pandering and they should be ignored…

Chelsea Handler was probably always horny, I would assume that’s how she got where she got, and her nudes for attention is a constant reminder of that, however, the horny may have only set in when she hit menopause, you know all that testosterone….

This is her shaking her ass from a mile away from the mirror and it looks alright to me…I mean when you’re a vain fake titty bitch with a dream to be a famous actress and you lower yourself through comedy and it worked, you might as well be naked on instagram to keep that broken dream alive…

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Posted in:Chelsea Handler

2021

16

Jun

Wet Spot Wednesday of the Day

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Since I only have 2 stories, I’ve probably told you the one about how I was going to sell used panties on the internet and I had a whole system in place including a girl who was willing to wear the panties for a few days at a time, but also a production line that was going to use Glue Stick and canned Tuna oils to really bring it home, the missing piece, which has been a consistent missing piece since I started, was the hot chick who would pose in slutty selfies pretending to be the girl selling the panties, because the chick I had convinced to wear the panties was a troll…

Like all my ventures, it never happened because of the oppressive capitalist censors who didn’t allow me to sell panties on their platforms…so I ended up here with a blog…where every wednesday, like clockwork, I post girls who are pretending to be so turned on their soaked their panties, and maybe they did, but I can’t be too sure of it, it could just be faked, or other things like STDs…which makes it less hot than it could be….

I do these nude normal bitches trying to get ahead or get a thrill, despite them looking a bit too normal, because I hate celebrities and encourage the slut-ification of the world to continue…I don’t know where it will end up, but it seems like a fun way for humanity to demise!!