DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

06

Apr

Bella Thorne Not Wearing Pants of the Day

Bella Thorne is a lot of fun…

I have an internal struggle, not about whether she’s self made or part of a master strategic plan by her team….but an internal struggle about why I bother writing this site….and obviously she’s part of a master strategic plan by her team.

Sure, there are kids who launch youtubes, who understand marketing, digital marketing, monetization, all that other shit that I don’t understand and contribute to my internal struggle about updating this site….

But Bella Thorne is not one of those kids….and sure, if she was a one of those kids, she’d have a lot of success with doing the same tactics they do, thanks to having been put together by Disney, trained by Disney, with followers from Disney…..BUT why would Disney or her management that invested in her to be whatever she is ever let her go….

It’s far more likely that they saw what the youtubers did, knew they needed to compete, knew they had Bella Thorne ready to launch, and sexualized her, made her relateable, had her on all platfroms that kids go….all to get the fans to stick by her, trick them into thinking it is legit, so they watch her movies and buy her merch and music and whatever…because why would they ever let an earner they’ve invested go….not to mention she’s been trained to take direction and in being an actor this is all an act…

What it comes down to is who cares, she’s pantseless…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Bella Thorne

2021

06

Apr

Jordyn Jones Shaking Ass of the Day

No Comments »

Jordyn Jones is the big smile Fetal Alochol Syndrome looking eyed, Kalamazoo Michigan white trash, blue collar, prized pig they took out of the farm and set to Hollywood to dance on a Reality Show for them rich folks over there…..you know to live out that American Dream…

She sells exclusive content of her outfits to her fans who pay to see her outfits because the outfits are usually bikinis..or underwear…but I guess sometimes they are tight dresses that she twerks in…because if you’re a 20 year reality show star from a children’s dance show….you sure as hell better be back to twerk…it’s pretty much the only move her generation needs to know…

I don’t know what she does and I am amazed that she has a career and fans from a dance reality show for children, or of children and for WEIRDOS….but this is the new generation of internet celebrities that come from all places….some of those people who call themselves INFLUENCERS….weren’t even sold to the entertainment industry by their parents like this one….SO anything is possible…dream a little dream…or just stare at this dancer in her tight dress….who cares.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2021

06

Apr

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

No Comments »

Tiny Tits are titties too.

(more…)

Posted in:TINY TITS

2021

06

Apr

Charlotte Lawrence Side Boob of the Day

No Comments »

Charlotte Lawrence is the 20 year old Y2k Baby because she was born in 2000 to remind you how old you are….

Her mom was on Drew Carey show, I think she played Mimi….

While her dad produced movies and TV shows…his claim to fame is that he named Topanga Lawrence after himself…so we’ll assume she’s the daughter he always wanted, one who gives him a legacy he wants, while his real daughter hasn’t quite lived up to Topanga’s level of importance in the world….or at least the one who opened him up to dating someone like Mimi from Drew Carey because Danielle Fishel looks like a Young Mimi to me…at least when her make-up is off.

I have facial recognition, so I could be wrong…

What I do know is that Charlotte Lawrence is the body who was apparently a model, which doesn’t say much since everyone is a model, but she’s skinny, she’s tall and those are important personality traits as far as I’m concerned….She’s also rich, entitled, raised amongst trashy rich people who think they are more important than they are, and she’s riding that instead of becoming a doctor to save the world, because why bother…

This is some of her social media content for you to NOT masturbate to, that would be PERVERTED, but not because she’s young, 20 is fair game…even for 75 year olds hopped up on viagra…or impotent fucks like you just grinding up against your dinner table hoping to feel something….

Point being…Hot social media pics. BYE.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:charlotte lawrence

2021

06

Apr

Camila Mendes Hot Tub of the Day

No Comments »

I shit talk Camila Mendes and Riverdale on the whole because what was a promising piece of shit show, because I do like piece of shit shows, I don’t have standards over here, has turned out to be just a piece of shit show…and whether people watch it and whether it is popular as shit or not… even it’s still a piece of shit show…

I’ve said it before, but I am convinced it was a 90 minute after school special that turned into 6 seasons of confusion, but the people who watch it are either on a higher plane than I am, so they get what goes on with it, and don’t see it as random ideas on a dartboard being thrown darts to decide the plot points of each season…..because they are too busy not listening, taking selfies, etc…

I also hated the casting of everyone but Cheryl Blossom and I’ve cyberbullied, but not really since I only post shit here and no one sees it, both Betty and Veronica’s characters…because I used to jerk off to Archie Comics like the any normal 13 year old, and they don’t hit the mark….at least Betty doesn’t because she’s huge…while this one, Veronica, just wasn’t the hotness I would want out of a Veronica…..but she’s actually looking better than she used to look….because I remember her as someone who doesn’t have a neck….yet here’s a neck….but I am easily won over by bikini hot tub parties I am not invited to…so it could just be the bikini in the hot tub party I’m not invited to making me think Veronica’s securing her place as someone to jerk off to….if you’re into that kind of thing….which most celebs are because it’s good for business..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Camila Mendes

2021

06

Apr

Bebe Rexha Titties on a Boat of the Day

No Comments »

Bebe Rexha is the big girl with the big girl titties who is likely too old to be a popstar but with modern technology she can pull it off…you know face filters and photoshop and shit….and despite being plus sized…she’s kind of a babe….which is hard for me to say because I think fat girls re the enemy of the state…but Bebe I endorse…

Prior to being a popstar doing her own thing in her 30s, she was writing hit songs that made her stupid money for other people, so let this bitch get in on that action, which I am sure was always the plan, because AT LEAST SHE WRITES HER OWN SONGS…in this era of idiots of social media who just put out robot music to get a TIKTOK hit as a secondary revenue stream because they’ve manipulated the minds of idiots who follow TIkTok People…

WHICH reminds me…I accidentally saw FALLON on my FREE TV antennae, it was on mute and fully accidental because I hate that clown….and I had no idea how low budget and embarassing TV has god…I mean I remember he would do his schoolyard games for the idiots and thought “this is bad”….trying to get viral…instead of having interesting conversations and taking a piss on celebs like late night hosts of the past….but the segment I saw was TIKTOK people doing TIKTOK dances awkwardly while Fallon did his creepy fucking smile…

Anyway, there was a time when people would WORK their asses off developing their craft, just ask any Comedy Store Comic from yesteryear about how hard they tried to get on CARSON….it required actually being funny enough….and some people spent years getting that perfect set…building, working, trying, testing, elevating the coversation because competition was fierce..

Now some retard can do a dance badly or a series of dances badly and for whatever reason the Chinese algorithm gets them views and this Fallon idiot has them on his show….not that anyone is watching or that it is as influential as Carson was…but WHAT an embarrassment to entertainment….

Then celebs are reducing themselves to be LIKE the TIKTOK people because the TIKTOK people have views…VALIDATING them as people of talent or interest…because they dance akwardly on an APP…

It’s pretty terrifying how dumb society is…

BUT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEBE REXHA titties…that I support despite being plus sized cuz I think she looks hot…

In other news…she’s performing for the WWE…..so that’s exciting…and YOU SAY I don’t report the NEWS..this shit is 1 hour old fuckers…..

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Bebe Rexha (@beberexha)

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Bebe Rexha

2021

06

Apr

Josie Canseco Cameltoe Leggings of the Day

No Comments »

Josie Canseco is probably the hottest young idiot out there today, I don’t know if you agree with me, but I think she’s less muppet faced and hotter bodied than most, and that’s not because I am staring at her vagina in her fitness / leggigns / work from home outfit, despite not needing to work, she’s rich and trashy thanks to being an athlete’s daughter…with a HOOTERS waitress..

She’s trending with her YOUTUBER friends, doing YOUTUBER things in YOUTUBER Places, like their 20 million dollar mansions becasue they get paid for being YOUTUBE idiots….which is a lot of fun and something I may have been drawn to as a 20 year old today…I mean what a dumb way to get rich as shit….but more importantly…EASY way to get rich…

She’s in the YOUTUBE drama from fucking YOUTUBERS like the PAUL BROTHERS…she parties like a young idiot and flashes her tits because tits are people too…stop oppressing them you toxic male…., she’s racy…all while being a bikini model….for brands like Victoria’s Secret…it’s a new fucking world out there…and if I was a celebrity/athlete rich kid babe…I’d be milking it too….but unfortunately she’s not milking you….right.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Josie Canseco

2021

06

Apr

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Day

No Comments »

I was just outside watching girls in tight pants that turned out to not be girls…but old ladies…because these women are bold, brave, brazen, I don’t fucking know, I’m not a thesaurus, I just know that the asses in those tight pants were misleading and the asses, although appearing to be round, were just made round from the pants, and the legs that were leading into the ass were just a pile of cellulite disgustingness….and I thought to myself “this tight pant thing is out of control”….but then I realized I could see their pussies from behind and figured…old or not that’s a vagina…

Point being…tight pants are everywhere….YOU CANNOT escape them and for the most part the girls uploading the tight pants are hotter than the girls in tight pants in your day to day so take it in…cuz it’s scary out there…

(more…)

Posted in:Tight Pants

2021

06

Apr

Caylee Cowan Cameltoe of the Day

No Comments »

Caylee Cowan’s a new celebrity in training, whatever that means, I mean it’s not like it’s her instagram bio, it’s more my opinion of Hollywood and how it is set up for new talent to succeed, which involves networking through all the perverts before finding the right pervert to put you onto the world….

She’s in the gym rocking a gnarly cameltoe, and by gnarly, I means 90s surf Gnarly, which is a GOOD thing, not gnarly that means mangled and disgusting, because I am all for the tight pants jacked into vagina that you know girls are INTENTIONALLY doing….it’s a style thing…the BEST style thing….I do a weekly feature called PUSSY WEDGIE WEDNESDAYS….check it out…

She’s currently in her big break, a Nic Cage movie that we hope brings her more movies, because she’s got Giant tits…and the good news is that she’s in a gym rocking a gnarly cameltoe…YES…we already went through this…but there’s more too it….because with big tits comes a sloppy body so big tits need to diet and exercise so the host body is at its tightest….so I encourage these positive lifestyle choices cuz I know a fit Caylee Cowan, or really a fit ANYONE is a better version of themselves….

Get those gains girl…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!