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Archive for the Tits Category

2010

15

Feb

Pam Anderson’s Tits in a Tube Dress of the Day

There’s always something funny about seeing a 40 year old dressed like a teenage girl in an inappropriate outfit she bought at American Apparel to wear to her high school dance to show off her newly grown tits. It’s like part of me wants to scream at her to give it the fuck up already, like I’ve done many times when the vintage, antique, expired strippers try to get me to get a lap dance from them so many time at discount stripclubs I go to, not to use stripping as another reference point, but it is a big part of my life…I mean I guess I could compare her to the sluts in the rich part of town who spend their husband’s money getting Yoga pussy in tight pants and tank tops who you see on the street, but that’s not as much fun cuz those women don’t give me the time of day, they just scowl and clench their purses, whereas strippers let me pay them to feel it….either way, Pam Anderson’s gotta retire before her hepatitis makes it too late….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Pam Anderson|Tits

2010

12

Feb

Taylor Wane Has Stupid Old Porn Tits of the Day

I have a thing for seriously weathered retired pornstars with stupid fucking tits, but only when they are out in public pretending they are almost normal, except for their really stupid fucking tits, when you can just go home and google their name to see some of their porn work , because I was in line earlier today behind the hottest 19 year old ass I have seen in a long fucking time, I wish I coulda gone home and googled her name to see her in action. It’s like all girls should have a fucking profile of their nude pics, dick sucking videos, and fucking videos, because all girls are doing it, why the fuck can’t I be in on it, even just as a voyeur, especially since getting that pussy to give me what I want will never happen since I am a married homeless looking man 19 year olds don’t really get naked for…so if she had any decency, the bitch would follow Taylor Wane’s lead and get a catalog of her nakedness online….cunt….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Taylor Wane|Tits

2010

10

Feb

Lady Gaga Dresses Like an Idiot in the Cold of the Day

Lady Gaga did Good Morning America and decided it would be appropriate to show up in a see thru dress with tape on her tits….the reality is that Lady Gaga in a see thru dress with tape on her tits is never appropriate because she is a fucking monster. I still don’t get why people still listen to this bitch, and I was thinking about banning her monster face off my site, but realized that will have no impact on the idiots who are feeding her ego by supporting her every ugly move, and when I see a bitch covering her tit, not wearing a jacket because she doesn’t want to mess up her useless costume, no matter how cold and snowy it is cuz she’s a try hard, I’ve got no choice but to point at laugh at her.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Disgusting|Lady Gaga|Tits

2010

09

Feb

Jewel’s Saggy Hick Tits of the Day

Jewel is everyone’s favorite fucked up tooth redneck who was raised in Alaska by wolves, where she was shoeless,homeless and clearly braless. Where her only worldly possessions were an old guitar she made out of bear bones and fur she got when she had to wrestle a bear down for food one cold and snowy night, before stealing a car and bringing her lesbian sound to America where she forumlated this bullshit story for marketing purposes, but the only thing that makes it believable is the sag in her tit that can only come from years of running through the woods hunting and gathering, braiding her armpit hair, howling at the moon without the support these fuckin’ things needed…which I guess is all part of the reason she married a rodeo man, since he’s used to handling wild fucking things with utters.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:cleavage|Hick|Jewel|Tits

2010

08

Feb

Some Body Painted Tits Of the Day

I don’t know who this bitch in her maxi pad is, but I know she was important enough for the paparazzi to take a picture of her. I figure you can all create your own backstory for her. Maybe she was walking down the street and some artist decided to have his way with her, or maybe she is poor and has to paint her clothes on everyday, I guess it doesn’t matter and what does matter is that you can see her titties all black on a white chick and not actually being from Africa if you’re into that….I mean how could you not be into body painting it is the single trashiest thing to have at a party besides obnoxious Energy drink.

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Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Body Paint|Chick|Tits

2010

08

Feb

Megan Fox Cowboy Tits of the Day

I had this theory that cowboys were going to make a huge comeback. I figured that zombies had their revival, as did vampires and aliens all concepts from the 1950s. Cowboys were the only group of people who weren’t getting the media attention they deserved, I mean other than Brokeback Mountain, but that shit’s just homo….

I’m talking the cowboys kids used to play with, that America as we know it was built on that….So part of me was happy to see a good Western in the works, but unfortunately Megan Fox is attached to the project, making me think the revival is gonna end before it even starts. She’s got the ability to taint things like the meat I fed my wife the other night hoping her stomach of steel would shut the fuck down, but it didn’t bring the elephant down. So maybe my vision for people dressing like cowboys will still come true…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Cowboy|Megan Fox|Tits

2010

04

Feb

Loredana Jolie Ferriolo is a Tiger Woods Mistress With Fat Tits of the Day

This is another one of the Tiger Woods’ mistresses on European TV and she’s got ridiculous tits.

I am pretty fucking surprised that people are still talking about Tiger Woods, or caring what he does in his spare time, if motherfucker was a rapist pill-popping alocholic and still played a good game of golf, it’s actually makes motherfucker even more impressive a player…not that that is the case, but seriously, who fucking cares….If I was him, I woulda been doing the same thing a hell of a lot longer and people need to leave him the fuck alone, cuz marriage is a life-sentence for all parties involved, only for Tiger’s wife, her life-sentence pays for the good life, making her work harder to keep him happy…since the billions of dollars are his, I think dude should be allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants….like European TV, which unlike conservative American shit, posts titties, cuz titties are fucking part of life and should be on TV..and here are the mistresses tits….

Pics via LFI

Posted in:cleavage|Loredana Jolie Ferriolo|Tits|Whore

2010

04

Feb

Jessica Jane Clement Shows Off Her Body of the Day

This is some UK bitch who was on some reality show, who claims she’s a Glamour Model, a profession they should re-named “insecure girls with fake tits and shitty tattoos who are willing to show off their bodies in cheesy pictures some shitty photographer takes of them in hopes they’ll get noticed and shit will take them to the top cuz it’s all they have going for them”, but I guess it doesn’t have the same ring to it….here she is in some shoot…and I wouldn’t mind cumming inside her in exchange for false promises of giving her a big break…

Posted in:Bikini|Jessica-Jane Clement|Tits

2010

03

Feb

Hot Tits That Rap of the Day

The biggest issue with this motherfucker and his raps is not how uneducated he sounds for someone from a first nation like the USA, it’s his fucking size and not so much the size of his guy, but the size of his tits. Seriously, my wife is built like this, they have the same bra size and I think that’s enough reason for you to understand why I hate fucking the bitch even when I’m hate fucking the bitch, because when you get too fat you become this half man, half woman ball of fucking shit…and when it comes to obscure rap, I’m much more into my South African than my South African American..here’s the video proof…

Posted in:African|Fat|Rap|South African|Tits

2010

01

Feb

Sophie Turner Showin’ Off Her Body of the Day

I don’t know how old Sophie Turner is, mainly because I don’t really know who Sophie Turner is, I just know she threatened to sue me for saying she looked like a pornstar, because she looks like a fucking pornstar, but it turns out she find that offensive, because it is beneath her to fuck on camera, but it’s not beneath her to dress half naked to events, even if she looks fucking ridiculous, like a clown you probably want to fuck, despite not knowing why you want to fuck her or who she is but strictly basing it on the fact that she’s got a vagina that’s probably been worn in proper….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Body|See Thru|Sophie Turner|Tits

2010

01

Feb

Christina Aguilera’s Mom Tits of the Day

I had a bet that I would fuck Christina Aguilera at one point in my life. In 1997 it seemed like it was possible. She was a good girl who had years ahead of her to go sour and I was an ambitious alcoholic who was addicted to drugs and totally fucking delusional and believed I was going to get to Hollywood and find a way to stick my dick inside the bitch…but with my laziness came marrying a fat chick for security and with her lack of a father came marrying a really ugly dude and having his baby pretty much killing herself without actually killing herseland I guess the whole thing officially went sour when the guy I made the bet with died in a car accident….but I can still celebrate her fake tits like I did when they were slowly being installed in installments so that she didn’t just show up after a vacation with huge tits, throwing off her 10 year old girl fans in a time when the world was way more sensitive….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Tits

2010

01

Feb

Katy Perry Knows What She’s Good for of the Day

My life is like a really shitty CD on repeat. I don’t even know if I should write about Katy Perry dressed like a mermaid for her stripshow that doesn’t involve stripping, but is equally as humiliating and takes the same level of shamelessness to exploit herself and because every day she goes out there, it’s pretty clear to all of us that she’s a fucking joke, so I guess it is only fitting that she staged being engaged with Russell Brand, a homosexual comedian in on her joke, but at least she brought out her tits, cuz that almost takes away with the fact that she’s an ugly, useless, annoying piece of shit, proving that tits do save the world, lets just hope they don’t save her world, cuz if I get polluted by her shitty songs again this summer, I will probably kill myself, and I’d rather it be her than me, even if my life is shitty, I’m not ready for it to end yet….

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Katy Perry|Tits

2010

29

Jan

Abi Titmuss and Her Tits Get Tied Up of the Day

Abi Titmuss is some UK nurse who started fucking some rapist TV presenter and ended up making her tits famous as a “Glamour Model”. Glamour Model is some UK phenomenon I don’t really get, but I think all these blue collar chimney sweepers and miners with ugly wives, because most pussy in the UK is fucking ugly and toothless, fantasize and celebrate the only trashy “hot” pussy in the country, by hanging their half naked calendars on their shitty blue collar locker door….making these girls money while getting them gigs posing in lingerie, filming sex tapes, in Jordan’s case expanding her fake tits into a line of Equestrian clothes and in Abi Titmuss’ case, a career in stage acting where her whore-self and big tits get tied the fuck up and no one fucking cares….except me apparently…

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Abi Titmus|Tits

2010

29

Jan

Maggie Rizer Knows How to Get Noticed of the Day

I don’t know who Maggie Rizer is, but can only assume she’s Paul Riser’s wife or daughter but thank god she wore this dress because it distracted me from her Husky face. Seriously, she’s got no eyes, no lips and a snout like she was designed to be the beast in a horror movie everyone is running the fuck away from, but at least she’s got tits, cuz sometimes tits is enough to make us forget just how fucking vile a cunt is….hopefully inspiring more ugly bitches with decent bodies to dress like this to make our shitty lives more interesting…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Maggie Rizer|Tits

2010

28

Jan

Audrina is Still a Waste of Time of the Day

The nice thing about Audrina Patridge is knowing that The Hills will be coming to an end very fucking soon. I have been anxiously waiting for this to happen for a long fucking time and it will be nice to see the cast go their seperate ways. Audrina to the stripclub/porn set where her and her fake tits were always destined to be, before being sidetracked with this MTV bullshit but a more interesting result of the end of The Hills will be Heidi and Spencer’s double suicide….I just wish their demise was a little more perverted, seriously, Audrina looks like she’s on her way to clean her house, which may be hot for some, but I prefer to keep things dirty.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Tits