I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

31

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

stepLINKS

I met a guy who was a mortician the other day. Now I find that to be the shittiest fucking job in the world and I guess he does too, because he was fucking wasted. I tried getting some dirt as to whether he’s ever fixed up a hot girl and he tried to play casual, but I could tell by the excitement in his eyes that he totally got off to their naked bodies and I mean, when you’re a mortician, it’s really the only naked girls you get to see, cuz regular girls are creeped out by you and your ability to doctor up the dead and you know if you touch them inappropriately, not only will they never tell on you, but they’ll also never say no.

Here are some links to get your through the night….

Everybody’s Got to Make a Living, Even Desperate Girls Who Like to Get Naked!
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Wino’s Crack Den Got Radied, Most Likely By Her Crack Head Friends
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Finger Board Fun
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This Barack Obama Song Starts Pretty Gay, Then Gets Amazing
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Which Superbowl Team Has the Hottest Chicks
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Because Changing Tires Can Be Dangerous
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Joanna and Marta Are The Hottest Sisters Ever
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Get Laid
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Veluet Will Make You Think Dirty Thoughts
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Man, What an Asshole
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Nip/Tuck Is Pretty Much The Most Amazing Show EVer
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Adele Silva Topless Throwback
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Coolio Has Still Got It
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Because You’ll Most Probably Die Old and Alone
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Ashton Kutcher is Having a Cry About Something or Another
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striptease of the Day
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Bar Rafaeli is Smokin
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Renee Zellweger us Fucking Weird Looking
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Sabrina Knechtli Gallery
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Alex Loren Has a Hula Hoop
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Lap Dance Awkwardness
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Chantelle Fontaine Has Some Huge Fucking Tits
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How NOT to Rock
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The Paps Prank K-Fed
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Porn Makes Weekends Fun
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Kittens on a Roomba
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Let Them Eat Cake
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Blow Me!!
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Worst Surfing Wipeouts
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Who Wouldn’t Cheat on Khloe Kardashian
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I’m in the Mood for Boobs
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Don’t Be Surprised if You See Lohan Down at the Unemployment Office
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Here’s the Side of Miley Cyrus’ Tit, You Pedophile
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Now That’s a Nice Plumbers Crack
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Dirty, Dirty Girls
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Britney Nicole is a Playboy Babe
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Vegas Casino Fight
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Bend Spoons With Your Brain
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Passed Out Emo Slut
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Pussy and Ass Randoms
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This Paula Abdul Stalker Suicide Shit Just Keeps Getting Weirder
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Pissing From The Iory Tower
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Lovely in Lingerie
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I like these fake titties from Toronto, but I am more down with the sluts from LA
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BONUS

Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap
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Another Bonus Video – Watch the family reaction to their aunt as a hog caller on Leno the other night and she’s pretty fucking hot, but not as hot as her family’s support. I am surprised they know what Youtube and Digital Cameras are.

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

30

Jan

Rihanna’s Pussy Grabbin’ Concert Pictures of the Day

I have a crush on Rihanna. It may be because I’ve never had the opportunity to get with a black girl in my life of perversion, or maybe I’m just drawn to her story of success. You know a small island girl who randomly sleeps with a superstar record producer when he is on vacation away from his fat fiance and gets a record deal to keep her mouth shut, who manages to turn that deal into hit after fucking hit after fucking hit, all while performing in dominatrix and fetish gear and not taking it to the pussy grabbing level, but I’m pretty sure it has to do with having never been with a black chick and sitting here on a whole pile of jungle fever in my pants, which I’d take any day over that other african disease…AIDS. Yes, it’s not just the gay disease anymore.

Posted in:Concert|Fetish|Pussy|Rihanna

2009

30

Jan

Jessica Simpson and Her Post-Fat Concert Pictures of the Day

Jessica Simpson realized that having a big mouth no only helps in her singing, but also has had a huge affect on how much food she can shovel into her goddamn mouth. I don’t care that she got fat, she’s pretty much been off my radar the last few months and it was totally expected, but I figured I’d post these concert pictures that came out since the last fat scandal, and it may be safe to say that although she may be thicker, she’s not as fat as I’d like her to be, you know fat enough to know there’s some serious emotional problem that I can ridicule, instead, she’s just a little thicker, like any girl is when she gets a boyfriend…all she needs is to get dumped and she’ll be back on track, but I have a feeling Romo is making her this way because he wants he all for himself and doesn’t want all these men after her all while making her look and feel like one of the defensive linemen he’s got a crush on when she fucks him up the ass with various household objects. It’s a win/win situation in his closet case life.

BONUS – Here’s Rene Russo’s Opinion on Jessica Simpson and her weight gain…

Bonus – Here’s that NY POST Comic on Jessica Simpson and Her Food Addiction….

Posted in:Concert|Jessica Simpson|Leather

2009

30

Jan

Jessica Alba’s Not Getting My Kind of Asian Massage of the Day

This isn’t the kind of happy ending 10 dollar Asian Massage I’m used to, but then again I can’t make out what’s going on below the waste. It’s very possible, if not probable that three asian women are servicing her baby maker with their forearms. It’s really the only way she can get any form of satisfaction now that Cash Warren’s penis doesn’t touch her vagina walls no matter how hard he tries…and god knows he tries.

Posted in:Asian|Jessica Alba|Massage

2009

30

Jan

The Miley Cyrus Titty Pictures of the Day

I was planning on staying as far away from posting these Miley Cyrus titty pictures that are circulating around the internet because she’s only 16, and despite the fact that she comes across as a little slut, the law wants us to pretend she isn’t, while her PR team want to tease us and put illicit thoughts in our heads. The good news is that she’s an unattractive little pig, so no matter how hard they try to get me to admit I’d get with her on a public website that runs porn ads, in a way to back me into the corner, get me locked up only to let the other inmates treat me like Miley gets treated by the Disney execs, but I’m too fucking smart for them and I’m not posting to the tit shots, I’m just linking to them. Enjoy, you sick fucks.

To See The Not Safe For Anywhere Pics of The Side of Her Tit, Follow This Link, Cuz I am Not Posting this Shit and the Paparazzi Should not Be Releasing Kiddy Porn….
GO

Posted in:Cleavage Pictures|Miley Cyrus|Teenage Titties

2009

30

Jan

From the stepFORUM of the Day

My wife’s dog, who has pretty much become my dog because my wife is too lazy to leave the house and walk the fucker and I don’t mind getting the fuck out of this hell and using him as a way to seduce women, or at least have girls talk to me, which is almost as good as sex because it is the only thing close to sex I get, made me proud today.

We were outside and this post-pregnant great dane walks by. My little fucker goes nuts over this massive dog who has a bigger head than his entire body, so the cute girl walking it brings it over to greet my dog. Within about a 5 seconds of doing the genital sniff, my dog latches onto one of the Great Dane’s tits and starts sucking it’s fucking breast milk. The Great Dane’s owner freaks and I laugh hysterically, praising my dog, because it was at that moment, I realized this dog is my soulmate.

Find your own soulmate at the stepFORUM, here’s some of the action going on there.

Register to get the full DSF experience!
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———Celebs———

Hot! – Sisters Joanna and Marta Krupa (SFW)
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Jessica Simpson BUSTY in Black at a Concert
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Paris Hilton w/ Hard nipples
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Evangeline Lilly Late Show With David Letterma
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HOT! – Rosie Huntington (bare ass) Agent Provocateur Ads (NSFW)
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Milla Jovovich – Fashion Dinner for Aids in Paris
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Rachel McAdams Out and About in Brooklyn
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Lady GaGa ina a latex dress
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Jennifer Aniston & Scarlett Johansson
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Katy Perry – Performs @ The Hello Katy Tour
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———Music———

Depeche Mode – Want (2009)
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The Polyphonic Spree – Beginning Stages of…
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Fiona Apple – Extraordinary Machine
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The Zombies- Zombie Heaven (Box Set)
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Brett Dennen- So Much More
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Now That’s What I Call Motown
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Coconut Records – Davy
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Joan As Police Woman – To Survive
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Gotan Project – Live
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———Movies and TV Shows———

Rescue Me – Seasons 1-4 + Minisodes
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Red Sands
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Offside (2006)
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Hood Life: The Uncensored Documentary
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———Music and Concert Videos———

Les Claypool – Fancy
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Mariah Carey – Adventures of Mimi 2007 BDrip 720p
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An Evening With James Blunt 720p
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Tiesto – Elements of life Copenhagen
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B.B. King: Live (2008)
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———Sleaziness———

Sean Gives You Amateurs
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Isabela. Gorgeous brunette
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peachez and bree messing around
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Deepthroat – The Greatest Blowjob Ever Filmed
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110% Natural # 17
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Amateur with big tits gets fucked
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cream pie Kathleen
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More ams
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Mya the midget gets fucked in the butt
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———Screening Room———

This Florida Couple Are Idiots
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Fly with a Water Jet Pack
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Hyundai Super Bowl XLIII Commercials
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———Games———

Diablo 2
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Dungeon Keeper II
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———E-Books———

Hugh de Beer – 269 Amazing Sex Play
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Posted in:stepFORUM

2009

30

Jan

Weird Diesel Sex on a Horse Ad of the Day

I was told this is an ad for Diesel, the constantly cutting edge company and by cutting edge I mean rip off artists. A while back they ripped off that SFW porn shit and made it live action and this is their follow-up video of a weird lookin’ dude and a girl simulating sex on a horse. I don’t know about you, but when I think about sex and horses, there are no girls around to get in the way and judge how good I am at sticking a massive horse penis in my various orifices, by telling me I am disgusting or cruel, but I guess Diesel’s got a whole different obscure art-fag approach to beastiality. Watch the clip.

Posted in:Diesel|Sex|Weird

2009

30

Jan

Lauren Conrad’s Dumpy Ass of the Day

Lauren Conrad’s got a shitty ass and I’m not just saying that because I can tell by the way she is walking that she didn’t wipe properly. I am saying it because it’s true.

Posted in:Ass|Lauren Conrad

2009

30

Jan

Katie Lohmann Birthday Upskirt of the Day

Katie Lohamann is some Playboy chick I don’t give a fuck about who was supposed to be on soem Disney Mickey Mouse club, but her mother rejected the idea forcing her to crave fame for the rest of her youth, until figuring out that the only way into the limelight was by taking off her pants. I am all for that….

I read her Wikipedia entry and figured this was an important piece of information I had to post:

In earlier photos, including her Playmate pictorial, she consistently has a patch of pubic hair above her vulva while the areas next to the labia majora are shaved bald. In later pictorials, such as her fall 2007 Playmate Xtra, and the celebrity photographer photoshoot with Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed, her pubic hair is completely shaved.

Thanks wikipedia.

Here she is celebrating her 29th birthday giving a little panty flash, which is too bad, because I would have rather seen the area above her vulva and the areas next to her labia majora.

BONUS – A Serious Fucking Monster Crawled Out of Her Cage Just to Attend This Special Event…

Posted in:Katie Lohmann|Upskirt

2009

30

Jan

Jennifer Hawkins is Staying Fit of the Day

This is some Miss Universe or Miss Universe contestant or something that gives her some ego and stamp of importance making her a shitty fuck, out on a walk in e Australia and I figured I’d post it because I am an advocator of chicks staying fit. Sure, I’m a fat fuck, but I don’t need my looks to get ahead because I don’t really care to get ahead. I’ve embraced my life in this rut that I will never get out of, I have come to terms with having a pretty horrible existence and a disgusting life and the only thing that really helps me get through it is high sugar foods. Some may say I emotionally eat, but I like to think that’s only something girls do, and I’m all fucking man. It’s a double standard that makes chicks like this, so it’s one I’d like to keep alive.

Remember if you are a fat piece of shit like me, all you have to do is make a lot of money and the bitches will come swooning, sure I don’t know that from experience, because making money takes too much effort and I’ve embraced my horrible life and let it fuel me, but I do know you don’t need to be fucking fit to make it happen, because girls are whores.

Posted in:Fit|Jennifer Hawkins

2009

30

Jan

Amanda Bynes Brings Her Legs Out to Party of the Day

I like a good set of legs. Sure it’s not a requirement when it comes to fucking, I mean vagina always been the only requirement and even that I’ve been pretty flexible about depending on how drunk or desperate I was. I am not coming out saying that I am a fag, but I am not denying that there were those years in college when you might have called me one and beat me up had you seen me walking down an alley in my mini skirt offering you blowjobs. A girls’ gotta make a living.

I am lying, I never went to college, I just went off on some weird tangent trying to prove that although my wife’s got fat legs that make me sick to look at, doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a girl who shows off her legs every chance she gets, because they are her only asset and that’s all I’ll say about this.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Legs

2009

30

Jan

Olivia Munn and Her Panties of the Day

Guys find Olivia Munn hot. I find her annoying. Sure, I’d fuck her, but I’d fuck anything. Sure, she’s good looking enough to get her on TV, even if it is on a network only virgins and nerds watch. Sure, she’s the kind of girl who would be alright to hang out with, you know joking around, pulling pranks, not worried about making a fool of herself, kinda like a stand up comedian and kinda like a dude, but I’ve always liked my girls to be ladylike, if they weren’t the kind of girl passed out in the gutter looking for their next fix. You know, someone who is maternal and ladylike and worries about whether or not their dress fits proper or if they are getting fat. Who watches girl TV shows and who likes kittens and other girlie shit and who is someone I can’t imagine even takes a shit. I find nothing attractive about a girl who talks about shitting, who farts when watching sports, or who makes a mockery of being a chick. God gave you a vagina, so you don’t have to go break boundaries by changing tires, or doing action sports, just fucking learn how to cook like a good fucking girl.

That said, seeing her with her panties in her face remind me of one of her stupid novelty acts, so unless she’s pulling these fucking things off her clammy fucking cunt, or inserting them inside her, like those weird porns, she should save the panty sniffing to the perverts like me creeping at the laundromats.

Posted in:Olivia Munn|Panties

2009

30

Jan

Kanye Wests’ Word of Wisdom of the Day

I somehow managed to get on Kanye’s email list. I guess he sends shit out to various blogs to get some more exposure as part of his marketing strategy. He makes it look like he’s personalizing the shit, which makes us feel really important so we post it.

The truth is that I don’t really care either way. In fact, part of me hates everything about Kanye West and the other part of me really doesn’t give a fuck either way. I get he’s an ego, it’s an act, he’s insecure, his mother died for his sins and all that shit, but when I get emails like this, I can’t help but post them, because they are the kind of wisdom I feel we’re all lacking in our lives and by wisdom, I mean insanity. On a side note, I like how it’s all in caps lock, shit alienated me so much I only got through the first couple lines but liked where he writes thanks Paris because a genius loves company or some other ridiculous thing.

Subject: LAST DAY IN PARIS!

“THIS IS MY LAST DAY IN PARIS AND IT’S BEEN CRAZY. I’VE MET SO MANY DOPE PEOPLE. I FEEL SO INSPIRED BY THE TRIP… I’VE BEEN THINKING OF RAPS, BEATS, CLOTHES, VIDEOS ,STAGE DESIGNS AND PHILOSOPHIES … I ALWAYS FEEL MY BEST WORK IS MY NEXT WORK… I’VE MADE SOME GOOD CHOICES AND SOME MISTAKES… I’VE BEEN LOVED AND HATED…. I’VE BEEN HAILED AND RIDICULED… I’VE BEEN INVITED TO SHOWS AND AS USUAL ASKED NOT TO COME… I’VE BEEN ATTACKED FOR BEING ME… FOR BEING BRIGHT RED IN A GREY WORLD…. I AM NUCLEAR ENERGY… WHEN ENCAPSULATED IN AN IDEA OR BOX LIKE A STAGE OR SHOE DESIGN I CREATE MAGIC… WHEN LEFT FREE SOMETIMES I BURN THINGS… IT’S THE NATURE OF A TRUE ARTIST… I AM NOT PERFECT AND I WILL NEVER BE WHAT I WAS TAUGHT MY WHOLE LIFE AND THAT WAS TO BE “CHRIST LIKE”… I’M FINE WITH JUST BEING THE BEST ME! I ACCEPT AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM. I WILL NEVER ATTACK NEGATIVE PEOPLE AND THEIR ENERGY…I FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY DON’T THINK FOR THEMSELVES BUT MERELY BASE THEIR OPINIONS ON WHAT THEY WERE TAUGHT. LIFE IS A GAME! IF EVERYONE UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS DOING WHEN I WAS DOING IT THERE WOULD BE NO CHALLENGE THEREFORE NO GAME. IT IS THE CRACK IN THE WALL THAT ALLOWS LIGHT TO SHINE THROUGH… SOOO THANK YOU SENSATIONAL NEWS REPORTERS … THANK YOU GOSSIP SITES… THANK YOU BARBER SHOPS… THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO THRIVES ON THE DOWNFALL OF OTHERS FOR I WILL NOT FALL!!! YOUR PESSIMISM IS MY POWER… YOUR PRESUMPTIONS LEAD TO MY REDEMPTIONS … I DON’T LIKE THE OBVIOUS… I LIKE THE TENSION… I LIVE FOR THE FIGHT… I AM A SOLDIER OF FREE THOUGHT IN A CLOSED MINDED WORLD AND I AM READY FOR WAR… I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING SO I AM FEARLESS … YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T KNOW WHO YOU’RE UP AGAINST… I WILL SPARK A GENERATION OF THINKERS WHO WILL QUESTION TRADITIONAL THOUGHT UNTIL THEY FIND THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH. THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME SOMEONE TO PROVE WRONG AS I HAVE DONE FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE… YOU FEEL THE WORLD WILL NEVER CHANGE.. YOU FEEL MISERY IS THE ONLY COMPANY… AND I AM HERE TO PROVE YOU ALL WRONG… (I’LL GIVE THE SECRET TO MY DEMISE FOR ALL THAT WISH I WOULD JUST DROP DEAD…. ACCEPTANCE!!… IF YOU COULD FINISH MY SENTENCES THERE WOULD BE NO REASON TO START THEM. ) THANK YOU PARIS ONCE AGAIN FOR ALLOWING ME ACCESS TO THE GREATEST ARTISTS AND DESIGNERS THIS EARTH HAS TO OFFER… THANK YOU FOR THE INVITATION BECAUSE GENIUS LOVES COMPANY”

Let’s hope he keeps me on this crazy email list. It feels like group therapy with a self absorbed prick who preaches his crazy theories and over analyzed ideas and I find that fun. Next time I promise to read the whole thing.

Posted in:Kanye West|Words of Wisdom

2009

30

Jan

Ali Lohan’s Inappropriate Photoshoot of the Day

Here are some pictures of Ali Lohan doing a photoshoot. I am not going to lie, I am a little torn because of these, sure I deem them totally inappropriate, as her dress is sheer and her titties are busting out, because getting off to pictures of 15 year olds in pictures is a crime and sexualizing a 15 year old should be a crime, but no one can control your dirty thoughts, so you should probably just keep it to yourself and not tell the world the things you’ve done to yourself thinking about hot summer days spent at the Dairy Queen or the public pool.

The reason I am torn is because it is perfectly legal to bang 14 year olds in Canada, so if let’s say Little Lohan looked 15 and not 40 and was hot and not a haggard, busted up and broken down faced monster, and these pictures turned me on I could go find my own Local Little Lohan, put her in this little outfit, have her dance around the room a little, before teaching me what she learned watching Gossip Girl, but the second I bust out a camera, I get arrested and that doesn’t seem fair, it’s like make it all legal, or make it all illegal, but not being able to document you sexual conquests should is the fucking crime here.

Point being, I am not down with 15 year olds, they just aren’t experienced enough to bring the slutty, and if they are slutty, it’s all an act. I figure let the teenage boys premature ejaculate for them and I’ll take em over at 18. Unfortunately, that never happens, but I can pretend it does, this is the internet.

Dina Lohan doesn’t think the same way as me. She wants people jerking off to her daughter, because she knows sex sells. I mean her vagina is the only reason she’s ever accomplished anything in her life, from free coke to her daughters’ careers, and that should be fucking criminal, because I remember when I tried to sell my stepdaughter to the neighbor when she was 16, my wife threatened to get me put the fuck away, but the second you get off the street and on the screen, shit’s totally accepted. Injustice.

Point being, Dina Lohan needs to rethink her parenting strategies, not that she’s a parent in anyway or has ever been one. She’s always been someone using her kids to give her the glamor she’s never been able to get for herself, no matter how many blowjobs she gave, it was just failed dreams.

So in her jealous rage towards Miley’s success, while thinking her Ali deserves that fame, and because Miley got all that press for her whore pictures, she goes ahead and coordinates this photoshoot, hoping for results. Unfortunately, Ali Lohan will never be a Miley, because her sister ruined all chances of her doing anything in life that isn’t porn and this is just a preview of what’s to come.

By the looks of these pictures, she’ll be alright going down that porn route and I mean she’s already got a head start on other future pornstars, since her mom’s been prostituting her all her life. Sure other pornstars-to-be may have the advantage since they are at home being molested/ raped / trained in their trailers by their dads, but Ali Lohan’s already comfortable in front of a camera….and that will probably go a long way. I also hear she’s a triple threat, but haven’t quite figured out what that means….

Here are those pictures….

Posted in:Ali Lohan|Photoshoot|Porn

2009

30

Jan

Lohan and Ronson’s Myspace Ad Predicts the Future of the Day

I was checking the obits today to see if anyone I know has passed on. I do it every couple of days, not because I plan on going to funerals, but because I just like knowing, especially when they are dudes I used to run around and get drunk and high with, because it reminds me that I’m next so I might as well update the site because it may all end soon.

Anyway, I get to the site and guess who is lookin’ back at me, fucking Lohan and Ronson advertising Myspace. Sure the whole thing was totally inappropriate, but I mean what kind of ads can you really run along a person’s death notice? But I just imagined kids logging on there to read the notes people are leaving their dead parent or sibling who died from childhood cancer, eyes filled with tears, ripped from the inside out with emotion, only to experience this journey with this lesbian fucking duo and I was offended.

Until I realized that it’s some weird psychic shit, that brings up so many questions. Is it their relationship that is about to die or is dead, is it because Lohan’s career is dead, or is it just a preview of what’s to come when Lindsay finally kills herself because dying will bring the notoriety she’s always wanted and her multiple personality/manic depression, her drug use and her starvation, will get the best, and that’s when I realized why the run such inappropriate ads, it’s to give the people hurting hope, hope of a brighter day to come and new beginnings, a hope of life going on without that loved one, a life without Lohan polluting it.

Posted in:Ali Lohan|death|Lindsay Lohan|Sam Ronson|Slut