SFW Archives - Page 4 of 20 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2019

04

Jan

Elsa Hosk is Hot of the Day

Elsa Hosk is living the California dream with her hot – near 30 – but still hot because she was a Swedish Athlete for the early part of her life and those Swedes eat really healthy, at least based on my Swedish restaurant experience, that took place at Ikea for Breakfast once. I was there buying a mattress because the wife shat the bed and pissed herself a few too many times that I couldn’t sleep through the smells…but alas the price was too expensive and I was forced to suck it up and lay in the filth…but I got some 3 dollar bacon and eggs and it was wonderful…

I guess what I am saying is that the Swedish design on this model of Victoria’s Secret is as good as a volvo, but with more vulva, half naked…rockin.

If you are a celeb or rich person, this is the sex worker you should try to buy…

Here she is slutty for Victorias Secret

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Posted in:Elsa Hosk|SFW

2019

02

Jan

Bebe Rexha Big Albanian Tits of the Day

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Bebe Rexha Big Albanian Tits Bouncing White Shirt Braless

First Poll of 2019. Do you like fat 30 year old tits that were behind the scenes in the music industry before taking life by the balls and deciding that they were self absorbed egos who wanted the glory that comes with celebrity…even if they aren’t that hot, but in the era of the fat chick, cross referenced with Adele’s celebrity, why write hits for others, when you can do it for your damn self…plus you got tits, and people like tits….

I guess that’s not really a poll…but it is an ALBANIAN…

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Posted in:Bebe Rexha|SFW

2018

28

Dec

Tea Leoni Getting Wet of the Day

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Sometimes I think that I am the only person who remembers Tea Leoni…a little Dharma and Greg….when’s that revival happening?

As it turns out…I am the only person who remembers Tea Leoni….I mean except this paparazzi who is hoping for his big payout for these super exclusive who the fuck is Tea Leoni pics…

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Posted in:SFW|Tea Leoni

2018

18

Dec

Lili Reinhart Slutty Photoshoot of the Day

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If you are young and on a hit show, that shouldn’t be a hit because it is garbage, but that is a hit, which in TV terms means at least 2000 people watch the nonsense, you need to self promote yourself like all the other young girls of your generation as a slut, it is feminism, it is empowerment, it is being free spirited sexual beings who don’t want to be sexualized, it is the style, the fashions of the time, the porn generation and their hormone in the food tits and asses, that don’t like to fuck unless they sign contracts with their sex partner cuz they are the most uptight exhibitionsists ever….

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Posted in:Lili Reinhart|SFW|SFW

2018

10

Dec

Eiza Gonzalez Bikini of the Day

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Eiza Gonzalez is the hot Mexican actress who has jumped the wall legally to steal all your fucking jobs in America…and your men…I’m talking to you FERGIE….because after her divorce to Joshy, he ended up sticking it in this….which must have been fun for him…an actual vagina for a change….you know since Fergie has a dick and uses the other vagina…her anus vagina…

Well…on that note, this Eiza Gonzalez, who wasn’t hot in Mexico, but was famous has fully rebuilt herself, my friend Steve is obsessed with her, and I figure I’ll post up the new her to prepare you for a new year, cuz things don’t have to always remain how they are…sometimes face injections and tits can make you the star you want to be. Carry that with you through this Holiday season….

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Posted in:Eiza González|SFW

2018

10

Dec

Julianne Hough Mormon Booty of the Day

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Here’s Julianne Hough diving into the water like she dove out of Mormonism and into Ryan Seacrest’s cocaine fueled anal sex parties back when she was a molested dancing mormon who probably has a very dark childhood – who made it in America on TV as a dancer…something most strippers don’t end up being…she must be from a rich family…

Now that she’s married, good old fashioned stare at some married chick and her overpaid dancing body….in a one piece….straight for social media where people can jerk off to her like the good mormon she is….

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Posted in:Julianne Hough|SFW

2018

10

Dec

Delilah Hamlin Nudity of the Day

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Delilah Hamlin is some LA Rich Kid tryng to get noticed…

I mean what would you expect from a Soap Opera Star’s daughter…you know tactics she learned from her mom being a safe for work porn chick for old ladies housewives and people on disability who watch Soap Operas…

When you see this kind of behavior for her social media, you have to laugh a little to yourself, even if you love it and jerk off to it, knowing we live in a world where everyone is a fucking pervert, and have always been fucking perverts…orgies have existed forever you know…you didn’t need internet porn to figure that one out….we are fucking animals…

But there’s no mystery, no behind the scenes exclusivity….it’s like “here’s my butthole, give me work, notice me cuz I’m a rich kid from LA and this is my personal brand”…

I remember when people didn’t post selfies for the masses to stare at…and I really do think it was a better time…now it’s just…god…I want to see it, but you’re trash.

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Posted in:Delilah Hamlin|SFW

2018

07

Dec

Padma Lakshmi Got Them Titties out of the Day

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Padma Lakshmi has her tits out in a bra….

I’ve written it before and I’ll write it again…this old brown lady has a billion dollar pussy which is more interesting than a non-billion dollar pussy…like the 5-25 dollar pussies I am used to paying to see….

The reason she has a billion dollar pussy is because she’s used her intellect and tits to get her pussy filled by not one, but two billionaires, and one of the billionaires was dying and died thinking her kid was his kid so it got his money, while it was really another billionaire’s kid…so it got that guy’s money too….I mean brilliant….this is like sugar baby if sugar babies had brains shit….MASTERFUL.

She’s still using her tits….to get stared at…despite being old….cuz this is the world we live in…..and she knows how to master manipulate…

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Posted in:Padma Lakshmi|SFW

2018

05

Dec

Camila Mendes Slutty Photoshoot of the Day

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Camila Mendes has a really thick neck, that makes her almost impossible to look at. You know that neck guy meme everyone had a hard time dealing with, but didn’t have a hard time marginalizing, mocking, making MEMEs out of him, because America is Racist and they like pointing and laughing at the disabled, unless the disabled are Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer in claymation that they can write a term paper on broken down in the form of tweets…

I know Riverdale is a huge hit, a huge success, the biggest deal that the writers clearly had no idea was going to be a hit and last this long, and clearly weren’t prepared for it, and have since gone down some weird Occult storyline, I know because people in this basement apartment insist on watching it every week…and I see “Veronica” the hispanic Veronica…all chubby and FULL of neck and I just can’t handle how fucking gross she is…but lucky for her she’s on a hit show and America is dumb and will make her and her terrible acting and singing a hit….cashing in…..

I didn’t realize she has tits…but tits don’t matter when you can’t see past a terrifying neck.

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Posted in:Camila Mendes|SFW

2018

03

Dec

Jaime King Naked on Instagram of the Day

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Here’s a where are they now – the heroin addicted model who you may have jerked off to in the 90s cuz she had big tits on her small frame and did artistic nudes because it was th time to be naked especially when all jacked up on opiates…

She survived her heroin chic era, her boyfriend at the time didn’t, but then she went on to have other boyfriends and live a full life that is probably annoying to be around, because if you know ex opiate addicts, you know they never shut up about opiates, and if you know celebrity model bitches, you know they never shut up in general, because they are so into themselves and think the world is into them also, and can’t get enough of themselves…

But now she’s putting up nudes on Instagram like it was the 90s, and not like it’s now, when she is 90…and there’s nothing wrong with adding a little tit we’ve seen before in our lives.

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Posted in:Jaime King|SFW

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