Ass Archives - Page 12 of 44 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

12

Jun

Lohan’s Ass in Leggings of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is a fucking star. I don’t care what all the haters say, because I got a feeling she’s going back to the top, as soon as she drops the latch on that is her DJ girlfriend who is bringing her the fuck down and distracting her from making magic. I mean Samantha Ronson seems harmless and all, but she’s not an idiot, if there’s no Lindsay Lohan running to her house everynight, the DJ gigs, the paparazzi, and pretty much everything she’s worked towards the last 3 years brainwashing Lindsay will go to fuckin’ shit.

I got an email from some asshole who didn’t understand why I give Lohan so much praise, or why I say she’s hot, and I think the reason is because she is.

I’m so smitten on this bitch that I even planned a big birthday celebration for her last year, where I was gonna jump out of a cake, but she didn’t show up, which is probably a good thing, because it got pretty weird pretty fast, since I couldn’t afford a real cake and jumping out of a twinkie is pretty impossible, and smearking it all over myself in my bedroom while crying just wasn’t a good look, you know, not my proudest moment.

Here are some pics of Lohan, to remind us all of a brighter tomorrow.

Posted in:Ass|Lindsay Lohan

2009

11

Jun

Paris and Her Sister Show Their Ass Cheeks From the Front of the Day

7 Comments »

Paris Hilton is wearing an almost see through shirt and nobody gives a fuck. The only thing interesting in this shit is trying to figure out why I can see her and her sister’s ass from the front, but even that is as dull as their repetitive bullshit, I am going to go watch real pussy, in real skirts because the internet is garbage, it steals that, remember that while clicking on all my ads and keep clicking refresh for the next update cuz you know it’s coming, almost like you know Paris Hitlon is coming with more annoying shit to make us all hate ourselves more than we already do.

Posted in:Ass|Nikki Hilton|Paris Hilton

2009

14

May

Hayden Panettiere Getting in Cars of the Day

2 Comments »

When bored, go to the parking lot at stripmall, yoga studio or even grocery store in your local suburb and watch hot mom’s getting in and out of cars.

It may be hit or miss but if you’re in the right spot you can see everything from panties to cameltoe to hot asses and if it gives you a little something to jerk off, then it can’t be all that creepy, unless you can’t wait to jerk off and decide to go at it in your car, right then ant there without realizing that the parking log you’ve gone to is next to a daycare. Sicko.

Here’s Hayden doin’ what some of us enjoy watching girls do.

Posted in:Ass|Hayden Panettiere

2009

14

May

Minka Kelly’s Got Some Booty of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know who Minka Kelly, but I’d like to introduce you to her ass. Not that I’ve ever met her or her ass and really have no business introducing you to anyone, but this is my site and I can do anything I want, including write useless posts about nothing, because that’s really to basis of my existence.

Posted in:Ass|Booty|Minka Kelly

2009

14

May

Natalie Portman Flashes Some Ass of the Day

5 Comments »

I never understood the appeal about this Natalie Portman slut. It seems like every geeky Jewish kid I ever meet find her to be the fuckin’ poster woman for their people or some shit. I always found her boring and these pictures claim that they are of her “dressed” like a geek for some movie she’s in, flashing her weird panty ass, but this is really how I always see this bitch when she pollutes my computer screen. Sure an awkward bitch is usually an easy lay, you know all crazy in bed from being so reserved in everyday life, until the asthma attack hits, but there’s really nothing hot in these pictures, but I have to post the pictures so I’m going to.

This one’s for Sean Penn…

Posted in:Ass|Natalie Portman|Panty

2009

12

May

Coco Has an Excuse for a Photoshoot of the Day

8 Comments »

I don’t know what these promo pictures are from, but the stripper Ice T married and turned into a famous ass graced the cover of her own magazine. I am guessing it is for a website or something along those lines, maybe it is for her own escort business cards to be handed out on the Vegas strip for old times and whatever it is, it is just an excuse for her to organize a photoshoot centered around herself, to keep her out of trouble and to keep her ego inflated because no one wants to hire her for a photoshoot, because she’s scary looking.

I guess none of that matters, what does matter is what went wrong in her life to make her think dressing, lookin or actin’ like this is okay. I get why Ice T loves it, she’s his own personal stripper whore who mooches off him and who he pretty much owns but above all that she’s white and black dudes can never say no to some dirty white whore pussy….

Either way here are the pics….I don’t know when they are from, but I do know I need a nap, I’ve been up since 11 am today and it’s catching up with me.

Posted in:Ass|Coco|Tits

2009

11

May

Leighton Meester is in a Bikini on the Beach of the Day

5 Comments »

I saw these pictures earlier, but had no idea who this bitch is, so I didn’t bother posting them, then I realized that everyone fucking posted them and in trying to fit in with other celebrity sites, because they are run by fuckin’ cool people that don’t make me feel uncomfortable, or awkward or a little nervous about their social skills, that exude cool and never desperation as they talk about breasts in a way that makes me believe they may or may not have ever seen a set.

Either way, here she is, next time I’ll let the bikini do the talking and I won’t ignore any bitch who is wearing one. I failed you. Get used to it.

Posted in:Ass|Beach|Bikini|Leighton Meester

2009

11

May

Jamie Lynn Siglier Spandex Ass of the Day

5 Comments »

This post is dedicated to any of you who used to jerk off to Meadow on the Sopranos or who still jerk off to the DVDs, because you’re probably wondering where she is now, since she hasn’t done much or really anything since then.

She pretty much disappeared off the planet, so I guess if anything, this is just ruining your fantasies about her by showing you that she’s a 28 year old and not 16 anymore, because ruining masturbation fantasies is part of what I do.

The real issue at hand is really why you would be jerking off to your Sopranos DVDs, if anything, it’s just fuckin’ weird, and you need to move the fuck on.

If you’re wondering why this post is garbage, it is because I tried playing off a joke that a motherfuckers jerk off to Meadow on the Sopranos DVDs, because I had the pictures uploaded, and nothing else to work with, but the chances anyone jerks off to Meadow on the Sopranos DVDs are slim to fuckin none, and if there is a motherfucker who does jerk off to her still, he’s the kind of guy who is hung up on the past, who cuts out all her pictures and tapes them to the walls of his one room apartment and who writes poems to her every night in hopes that one day she will answer me and sweep me out of this hell I live and bring me the good life like the angel I know she is…..I mean… here are some pictures of her in some spandex short pants.

Posted in:Ass|Jamie Lynn Siglier|Spandex

2009

04

May

Shakira’s Ass in Concert of the Day

14 Comments »

The best thing to come out of Columbia since cocaine has got to be Shakira. Not because she reminds Wyclef of a Westside Story, or even because her ass is amazing, but because Columbia is a good for nothing piece of shit country that should be erased from the fucking map, I’m just kidding, I’ve never been to Columbia, I know nothing about Columbia, but where the fuck was I supposed to go with this post, when everyone knows she is the best thing out of Columbia since cocaine because because her ass is amazing. There’s nothing fun in that. I’d rather start wars and shit disturb. So that said, fuck you Columbia, you third rate Mexican wannabe cocksuckers.

Posted in:Ass|Concert|Shakira

2009

30

Apr

Kim Kardashian and Her Leotard of the Day

7 Comments »

Here are Kelly Osbourne and Kim Kardashian giving each other a hug the other day at some roller skating bullshit event because I guess they haven’t seen each other at the “all you can eat” buffet’s dessert spread since Kardashian decided to try to fool the world in making a workout DVD.

You see, to put things into perspective, I think I called Kelly Osbourne a Sea Pig a couple of weeks ago, so when you pit them up against each other, only to discover that Kelly Osbourne looks like Kim Kardashian can eat her and when Kelly Osborne invites you out somewhere to make her look skinny, you know your workout DVD is nothing more than a fucking joke.

That said, I still have a leotard fetish because I like clothing that touches tits and pussy at the same time like it ain’t a thing. I won’t let Kardashian change that, because even with all her lies, with all the flaws, with all the masculine features, she’s still a better catch than pretty much every girl I’ve slept with. So I can’t pretend to have standards…..

Keep it black Kim, this roller skating shit is like that Bow Wow movie.