2009
31
Mar
I don’t know why everyone hates on Gisele for being a man, sure she may have a hard face, but would a man really wear lady jeans, I don’t think so. And would a man really marry some pro football player, everyone knows football players are straight as a fuckin’ arrow. They shower together and shove broomsticks in each other’s asses because they’re just that straight.
Here are her legs.
Posted in:Ass|Gisele Bundchen|Legs
2009
30
Mar
Fuck. The last thing I want to do is write about these celebrity idiots. Not because I don’t care about them, but because I really don’t give a fuck about them. It’s like totally irrelevant to my life, and I am convinced the general public’s interest in them is slowly dropping off, because guess what, we have our own lives to live, and obsessing over Kim Kardashian’s big fucking ass, or whehter she has an eating disorder, whether she’s just lazy, or whether she’s a spoiled fucking cunt who has no business being famous, but who fucked on camera to get there, like a good dirty little whore, and I am not just saying that cuz her skin is brown and looks like she rolled in mud for a few fucking hours like the pig that she is, I say that cuz she doesn’t use condoms.
On a side note, Nice work out clothes though, I almost believed you work out, I mean except for the fact that you’re fat.
Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian
2009
27
Mar
Britney Spears posted this picture of her ass on Twitter and by Britney Spears I mean one of her staff memebers who pretends to be here, because the last thing Britney tried to use a computer, it ended up in her deep fryer and eater, because that’s what southern pigs do, they eat shit they deep fry. Sure that may not make sense, maybe I should tell a story about a mom of two who got on stage without pants on at my local strip club, because she’s trying to put food on the table, unfortunately, they couldn’t photoshop retouch her live, because her shit wasn’t this smooth and put together, in fact, her vagina looked more like a scaled down, fleshy garbage truck and kinda smelled the same. I still paid her 10 dollars to touch the tits, but only because she promised to squirt me with lactation, which leads me to ask, can you get AIDS from breast milk?
Posted in:Ass|Britney Spears|Twitter
2009
26
Mar
I don’t know what’s going on with Natalie Portman’s Jew Ass, but those pants seem tight, but not as tight as the fullback underwear she’s has on underneath, that are squeezing her in ways that make her ass look like some kind of bread product you’d get at the Jewish deli down the street on sale during passover because jews are apparently bread haters and apparently are tight panty wearers, and I am ready to end it all by producing garbage like this, because I don’t know what to say about Natalie Portman, I was never a fan and never understood her appeal, but I do understand why she was the “it” girl for Jewish guys and that is because she doesn’t look like a rat like all the other Jewish girls in their lives….true story…
Posted in:Ass|Natalie Portman|Tights
2009
25
Mar
I spend a good amount of time at the supermarket watching mom’s load their cars up with groceries, not because I can’t afford to get groceries and it is like when people drive through the rich part of town to look at the big houses, but because I like mom’s when their husbands are work.
I like them better when they are into yoga and staying fit, and even better when they are dressed like their teenage daughters in leggings, because I know how well traveled and experienced those mouths and pussies are.
As a guy who likes to fuck with young girls, breaking that mold and getting a real whore who doesn’t cry rape when you test their boundaries, and who doesn’t think facials/doggystyle/anal is being really adventurous is legendary. Especially when their hot daughter is in the other room and their husband is out making money to put that food they just loaded in the car on the table while I stare at their asses.
Unfortunately, the only wife and mother I’m fucking is my wife and she weighs in at 350 pounds.
Here’s Hilary Duff on set of some show bending over the trunk you’d like to throw her in, shut and drive to some abandoned warehouse to have your way with her. Creep.
Posted in:Ass|Hilary Duff|Jeans|Trunk
2009
25
Mar
American Apparel pants are made for skinny people, I remember going into one of those stores with my stepdaughter and she thought it would be fun to revamp my style, you know make me come across a little younger and fresher, despite the only thing fresh on me is this scab on my dick that wasn’t there the other day, but that’s not the point, the point is that I put on a hoodie or t-shirt or fuck if I know and shit was an XL but wasn’t getting over my fat ass, but this Fantasia Barrino chick, who has managed to not do shit since her American Idol days, has finally found success squeezing that booty in a pair of leggings and I can hear the threads that make those cheap overpriced pants holding on for their fucking life…..and screamin’ in pain and discomfort from the smell.
Posted in:Ass|Big|Fantasia Barrino|Leggings|Ol'
2009
25
Mar
Here are some pictures of Amanda Bynes wearing some pants and not showing off her legs even though they are all she has going for her. I don’t find her interesting so I don’t really know why I am bothering posting this shit. I guess it has to do with having nothing else to do with my day, which I guess I have in common with Amanda Bynes since I don’t think she’s ever really had work.
Speaking of people with no work, Mischa Barton is in Montreal filming some Ashton Kutcher TV show and I want her to take me out for dinner, but no one I know knows her or where she is staying so I guess, my dreams of banging the girl throwing up on herself in Sixth Sense won’t come true, so I have no choice but to just have to keep jerking off to it.
Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Ass|Jeans
2009
23
Mar
Ashton and Demi were in the Bahamas or some shit similar for Bruce Willis’ wedding to some 22 year old model, because I guess when you area famous, and have a lot of money, can offer the celebrity lifestyle and are fun to be around because you’re not stressed about pretty much anything, since you’ve fucked life up the ass and won, marrying 22 year old models isn’t all that crazy. There is always a slut out there willing, especially for promises of the good life.
Ashton and his mom-wife Demi are weird, Bruce and his Daughter-Wife probably are too, but combined weirdness aint got shit on the weirdness that is Rumer Willis’ face.
Everyone crticizes them for being so close, ex-wives and their boy toys are supposed to hate the ex-husband and their new young pussy, but the fact that they are tight doesn’t bother me, it just makes me think they are all probably fucking each other, I’m talking Ashton in Bruce’s mouth while Demi combs out her bush and the 22 year old model learns how to insert a tampon properly because she just got her period for the first time, or some other weirdness, because I follow this asshole on Twitter, and I can tell something’s a little off with him and his life, but selling out your wife’s ass to get Twitter followers is pretty commendable behavior…
Posted in:Ashton Kutcher|Ass|Bikini|Demi Moore
2009
12
Mar
These pictures of Britney came out a couple of days ago, but who the fuck cares when they came out. Someone emailed this picture to me and I felt the need to post it and I don’t necessarily know why. It’s probably got something to do with me having no interest in posting or reading my email today, but it probably has something to do with her ass not being tainted with her beat up crusty face.
I guess I should post the video for F-U-C-K-M-E video cuz it is hot.
Here’s some weird Asian version…
Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Britney Spears
2009
11
Mar
Since today is a day for celebrations, I figured it’d only be appropriate to post these pictures of Eva Herzigova, some model I’ve never heard of, celebrating her birthday, and since being alive is no jive, this is the best kind of celebration you can have, so throw a bikini, some friends, and a beach and you’ve just added some glorious memories for the scrapbook that is your life. Good fucking times.
Yeah, I know, I don’t care about birthdays, but I’m trying to keep upbeat since 1 hour of sleep fucks with my brain and ability to pretty much do anything.
Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Birthday|Eva Herzigova