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Archive for the Ass Category

2007

22

Aug

I am – Tara Reid Bikini Pictures of the Day

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The pictures on this site get repetitive because the same sluts go out in their bikinis over and over again and since I have no interest in posting shit like sluts at press conferences or sluts on the red carpet unless there’s a nip slip or vagina slips in them, then I am forced to hit back the standard played out Tara Reid in a Bikini action, but at least the site I ripped them off of says their new….and we all know that seeing a bitch in a new bikini is like a whole new fucking experience because we know they can afford to buy more than one….

I remember spending my summer on some beach town working some shitty kitchen of some nasty fucking seafood restaurant and I ended up falling in love, or at least in as much love as I could really be with a pretty unattractive girl that was letting me bang her 3 times a day, but for the sake of argument she was my girlfriend and she was ugly but I told her I loved her because it was the only way to get her to do anal in the morning..or when she was on her rag.

I rode out the relationship, because it was easy, but I couldn’t get over the fact that she always wore the same fucking suit, day after day, and when I got a little fucking grossed out by her never washing her same bathing suit, that she wore 7 days a week for about a month, she claimed that swimming in the Ocean was better sterilization than a fucking washing machine…

Now we weren’t actually at the ocean, but I knew she was kinda slow, she claimed it was a learning disability, but I think it was because her parents were first cousins, because we were at some shitty polluted lake and her fucking suit smelled like dead fish, sewage and gasoline. By week 6 of this, I was starting to lose my fucking mind, it was all I could smell even when she wasn’t around, so I woke up while she was still sleeping, grabbed the bathing suit of death, looked at it before throwing it into the sink with some detergent because at this point the whole place fucking stank of this shit, and noticed that there was a massive battery stain and hole in her crotch and that the dirty bathing suit wasn’t what was causing the smell, the lake wasn’t what was causing the smell, the girl I had been banging was only I had been too drunk to realize it for the first month and a half because I never went down on her….I suddenly realized why people were constantly giving me dirty looks whenever I was with her, and Tara Reid reminds me of that dirty whore and not because she hangs with fat dudes but because she looks like if she wasn’t so rich, she’d probably have a stinky box…so here are her bikini pics…


Related Posts:

Tara Reid Bikini Gypsy
Tara Reid Old Man Ass in a Bikini
Tara Reid Bikini Pictures of the Day

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Drunk|Tara Reid|Tits|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Cameron Diaz’s Ass and Legs of the Day

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I always rip into this bitch for being old and washed up and left in the trash by Justin Timberlake for new younger and fresher pussy, but then I realized that Justin was into dudes like Jessica Biel and that he left Cameron Diaz because she didn’t have a cock and couldn’t fully satisfy his needs as the man with the high pitched singing voice and great dancing skills….

I never took the time to take a cold hard look at Cameron Diaz to realize that her legs are fucking amazing and that is why I am doing this post as a celebration of finding something you never thought was there. This is the equivalent of finding a 20 dollar bill in a pair of Jeans you haven’t put on in a year….and makes for a good end to the day….


Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz in a Bikini
Young Cameron Diaz Topless
Cameron Diaz Bikini Pics
Cameron Diaz’s Ass in a Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Cameron Diaz|Hot|Legs|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Cameron Diaz's Ass and Legs of the Day

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I always rip into this bitch for being old and washed up and left in the trash by Justin Timberlake for new younger and fresher pussy, but then I realized that Justin was into dudes like Jessica Biel and that he left Cameron Diaz because she didn’t have a cock and couldn’t fully satisfy his needs as the man with the high pitched singing voice and great dancing skills….

I never took the time to take a cold hard look at Cameron Diaz to realize that her legs are fucking amazing and that is why I am doing this post as a celebration of finding something you never thought was there. This is the equivalent of finding a 20 dollar bill in a pair of Jeans you haven’t put on in a year….and makes for a good end to the day….


Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz in a Bikini
Young Cameron Diaz Topless
Cameron Diaz Bikini Pics
Cameron Diaz’s Ass in a Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Cameron Diaz|Hot|Legs|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Paris Hitlon’s Academy Award Bathing Suit of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in some weird gold bathing suit or outfit at her Malibu Beach Party home reminding me of a Jewish grandmother on the beaches of Miami, not because I have ever been to Miami but because Jewish grandmother’s like to match their tacky outfits and they like to show false enthusiasm when they see babies…because they remember that their own kids ruined their bodies and they never really got over that….

I was emailed by a girl I once knew telling me that I make her pussy wet. I think she was trying to humor me because being the resident pervert, girls sometimes get a little crazy and like to share their craziness with me. It rarely happens, but it did this past weekend and I responded by saying that the only pussies I have ever made wet were all the pussies I ever came in contact with but as soon as the roofies wore off, the bitches dried up pretty quick and didn’t end there, they would always end up hurting me and press charges against me, leaving me fucked but always knowing to myself that I made their pussies wet even if they weren’t 100 percent there in spirit to enjoy my skill….

Either way, Paris and her ego probably think they deserve to be gold plated and that’s why she is doing it in her wardrobe choices. She loves herself so much that bitch thinks she’s a fucking trophy, the thing she tends to forget is that this trophy comes with a lot of fucking baggage, like herpes and there’s nothing fun about herpes except for maybe if your into playing connect the dots like Pee Wee Herman…Notice how bitch is getting fatter and fatter, I guess you could blame that Entourage motherfucker for filling her up with his cum, but I like to think that it’s cuz she emotionally eats herself to sleep everyday…


Related Posts:

Paris Hilton Showin Off Tits
Paris Hilton Upskirt
Paris Hilton Nipple Slip of the Day
Paris Hilton Insane Cleavage

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Paris Hilton|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Paris Hitlon's Academy Award Bathing Suit of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in some weird gold bathing suit or outfit at her Malibu Beach Party home reminding me of a Jewish grandmother on the beaches of Miami, not because I have ever been to Miami but because Jewish grandmother’s like to match their tacky outfits and they like to show false enthusiasm when they see babies…because they remember that their own kids ruined their bodies and they never really got over that….

I was emailed by a girl I once knew telling me that I make her pussy wet. I think she was trying to humor me because being the resident pervert, girls sometimes get a little crazy and like to share their craziness with me. It rarely happens, but it did this past weekend and I responded by saying that the only pussies I have ever made wet were all the pussies I ever came in contact with but as soon as the roofies wore off, the bitches dried up pretty quick and didn’t end there, they would always end up hurting me and press charges against me, leaving me fucked but always knowing to myself that I made their pussies wet even if they weren’t 100 percent there in spirit to enjoy my skill….

Either way, Paris and her ego probably think they deserve to be gold plated and that’s why she is doing it in her wardrobe choices. She loves herself so much that bitch thinks she’s a fucking trophy, the thing she tends to forget is that this trophy comes with a lot of fucking baggage, like herpes and there’s nothing fun about herpes except for maybe if your into playing connect the dots like Pee Wee Herman…Notice how bitch is getting fatter and fatter, I guess you could blame that Entourage motherfucker for filling her up with his cum, but I like to think that it’s cuz she emotionally eats herself to sleep everyday…


Related Posts:

Paris Hilton Showin Off Tits
Paris Hilton Upskirt
Paris Hilton Nipple Slip of the Day
Paris Hilton Insane Cleavage

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Paris Hilton|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Estella Warren's Thong of the Day

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This site is known for it’s cutting edge content, actually it is not known at all, but every time I post a picture of a celebrities thong, I feel like a total fucking virgin loser who actually hunts the internet for celebrity thongs, and that shit carries over to my everyday life. While I should be spending my time trying to seduce women into my van, I am instead sitting at home doing this bullshit. I think I would have been better off as a pornographer, at least that way I would have maintained some level of masculinity, instead of being the straight, boring, middle-aged mexican in the 25 and under homosexual and virgin club…but I guess I have no choice but to maintain and none of you want to hear my bitching, so here are some pictures of Estella Warren’s thong, because seeing underwear on a girl bending over in a store or parking lot in real life is the closest thing you’ve ever got to pussy, and since you don’t leave your house that often, reliving that moment here on some Canadian piece of shit model is pretty fucking awesome and I am really happy to have played such a pivotal role in your fucking useless day. Asshole.

Reality is that this could be of anyone, because I can’t see her fucking face so maybe getting spy pics of girls thongs and claiming they are celebrities is the next business venture I’ll take. These Estella Warren pics just inspired me…


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Mary Kate Olsen’s Thong
Britney Spears Thong Bikini
Nicole Richie Upskirt

Posted in:Ass|Estella Warren|Panties|Thong|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Estella Warren’s Thong of the Day

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This site is known for it’s cutting edge content, actually it is not known at all, but every time I post a picture of a celebrities thong, I feel like a total fucking virgin loser who actually hunts the internet for celebrity thongs, and that shit carries over to my everyday life. While I should be spending my time trying to seduce women into my van, I am instead sitting at home doing this bullshit. I think I would have been better off as a pornographer, at least that way I would have maintained some level of masculinity, instead of being the straight, boring, middle-aged mexican in the 25 and under homosexual and virgin club…but I guess I have no choice but to maintain and none of you want to hear my bitching, so here are some pictures of Estella Warren’s thong, because seeing underwear on a girl bending over in a store or parking lot in real life is the closest thing you’ve ever got to pussy, and since you don’t leave your house that often, reliving that moment here on some Canadian piece of shit model is pretty fucking awesome and I am really happy to have played such a pivotal role in your fucking useless day. Asshole.

Reality is that this could be of anyone, because I can’t see her fucking face so maybe getting spy pics of girls thongs and claiming they are celebrities is the next business venture I’ll take. These Estella Warren pics just inspired me…


Related Posts:

Mary Kate Olsen’s Thong
Britney Spears Thong Bikini
Nicole Richie Upskirt

Posted in:Ass|Estella Warren|Panties|Thong|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Kimberly Stewart Bikini Pictures of the Day

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The weekend is always pretty dull for me. I end up going out on Friday and getting carried away with the drinking so that on Saturday I can’t fucking function and end up passing out by midnight on the kitchen floor, and Sunday is always the day I have set to do shit like the dishes or the laundry or whatever around the house but it never fucking happens, I always get distracted or end up at my wife’s shitty tea party with disgusting bitches who can’t get dick, but trust me they are fucking trying and by the time I figure out a way to get the fuck out of that shit, I try to hit up the strippers to get a couple of lap dances to inspire me for the week of work, because new titties always make for new ideas but my wife had no money for me to steal and I was forced to stay in and smell her from the other room. I was considering posting all the new pictures that are came out over the weekend, but since it was the day of rest, I decided to sleep for 14 hours instead.

Here are some Kimmy Stewart pics in some booty short type bottoms riding up her ass….I always write about how this bitch looks like she’s been hit by a fuckin bus because her face is so fucking busted but she’s got a good enough body for me and I’d still watch her shower because I’d pretty much watch anyone shower, but that’s the kind of guy I am, I call it non-discriminating, and I should be an example to all you fucking bigots. Reality is bitch has cellulite an should be rocking a pair of those body contouring shorts that hide that shit, but if you’ve seen my wife, you would realize that a little out of shape skinny girl in boyshorts is a lot better than a morbidly obese fat girl in pretty much anything. So be a little more positive about things, asshole.


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Kimberly Stewart Bikini
Kimberly Stewart’s Sister
Kimberly Stewart’s Got Good Legs
Kimberly Stewart Dresses Like a Fag at Coachella
Kimberly Stewart’s SKirt Fights the Wind

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Kimberly Stewart|Unsorted

2007

17

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Bikini Pics of the Day

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The first time I was into girls with a shaved head was when I was about 14 and I met this girl with Alopecia. The thought of her never having any body hair just really got me going on and trying on all her wigs made for a good time.

The second time I was into girls with no hair was when I was about 16 and a girl I was friends with got cancer and thought she was going to die. As part of the process of not wanting to die a virgin, he weak frail, chemotherapy-ridden body came to me for help. Not because I was someone people wanted to fuck but because I was someone who would fuck someone with cancer. I am sure the whole experience was humiliating and we ended up getting caught by the staff at the hospital and it lead to me being admitted to some psych ward for a while, but I’ve blocked it out of my memory. She lived and I like to think it was my gift of life that helped her through it, or that my dick cured cancer but it was probably her need to get past the cancer, grow some motherfucking hair back and find a real guy who could please her, but I guess my poor performance played a part in curing cancer and that is good enough for me!!!

The third time I was into girls with no hair was a long time after the cancer sex, was many years later, well after I blocked out the whole chemo experience and it was while working at the porn company and seeing some slut with a shaved head get a load dumped all over her bald head, and I knew it was something I needed to do, so I spent months looking for someone to fill the part, I even offered whores some money to shave their heads for my needs, but they weren’t to into the 50 dollars I managed to save up from collecting cans and would only do it for 1000 which was out of my budget for cumming on a sluts head.

I was tempted to go back to the cancer ward, I was tempted to shave girls heads in their sleep like my weird friend whose mother used to make him brush her hair every night, but eventually I just got over the whole thing…..

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari, in a bikini, with her shaved head that I would cum all over if I wasn’t impotent, not because she’s hot, but just based on principle. I guess the real interesting thing in all this is that when Britney shaves her head she’s having some kind of meltdown and when this bitch does it no one cares….I guess that probably doesn’t help Mena Suvari’s cry for help so much does it. She was probably sitting at home, realizing that her career was garbage and was looking for a way to sort it out, saw Britney on the news and was like “I know I’ll shave my head”, only no one even noticed…..Shed a tear for this girl, then rub one out….it’s what she wants you to do.

Related Posts:

Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures
Mena Suvari Showing Her Ass Off
Mena Suvari Topless Beach
Mena Suvari Got Gas and an Ass

Posted in:Ass|Bald|Bikini|Mena Suvari|Tits|Unsorted

2007

16

Aug

I am – Nicolette Sheridan’s Red Lycra Pants of the Day

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I am pretty sure these are old, but they were sent into me and I had no choice but to post them because her ass looks amazing and they remind me of some chick that I just saw walking with her annoying 15 year old son. I assume that she was a trophy wife who has some really rich husband and spends her days at the gym fucking the fitness trainer, at the hair salon talking to her fag stylist about giving blowjobs, at the day spa yelling at her masseuse about rubbing her down harder, at home yelling at the maid about cleaning better and at the cook about using more low-fat ingredients because the shit he’s cooking doesn’t fit in with the South Beach Diet her nutritionist put her on. The benefit of making a life out of being vain and self absorbed and superficial was that her ass was probably one of the most solid asses I’d ever seen and I tried to let her son know that he should be jerking off to her while she’s out at the pool and not trying to land blowjobs at his Jewish summer camp because she is that good.

When I finally made eye contact with the kid, I pointed to his moms ass and gave him the thumbs up hand signal. He just gave me the finger and went back to his phone conversation. I guess he hears about how hot she is everytime his friends tell him how bad they want to fuck her, or how they end up hanging out with her instead of him anytime they go over. The reality is that she is probably the only reason he has friends.

So seeing Nicolette Sheridan’s fit ass is just an extension of this celebration of bitches in their 40s who still have it going on enough for you to rub one out to, even though your desperation leaves you rubbing one out to pretty much anything with a vagina, including your fat neighbor who likes to garden in short shorts…


Related Posts:

Nicolette Sheridan Buying Panties
Nicoletter Sheridan is Michael Bolton’s Fleshlight
Nicolette Sheridan Bikini Pics
More Nicolette Sheridan Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Ass|Fit|Lycra|Nicolette Sheridan|Spandex|Unsorted|Workout