Gisele Bundchen Archives - Page 8 of 8 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Gisele Bundchen Category

2007

Oct

I am – Gisele Rocks a Bikini of the Day

I thing I like about Gisele is the mystery of whether she has a vagina or not. Bitch is from Brazil and everyone I talk to who knows anything about Brazil say they have the hottest lady-boys in the world and that you can’t even tell the difference and when drunk and in Brazil, who needs to tell the difference, especially if AIDS is your thing.

I used to know this fag who didn’t know he was a fag but was obsessed with Tranny porn, he claimed it wasn’t gay because he was only into lady-boys slamming chicks and not dudes slammin’ lady-boys up their lady-boy asses, so he was convinced shit was less gay than watching straight porn because the dude looked like a chick and it was more like hybrid lesbian porn with some chick with dick shit instead of a strap on but still 2 sets of tits and 1 dick, instead of that faggot ass straight porn you watch, because I know you’re not actually getting off to the chick getting fucked but to the porn dick. Fag.

Either way, bitch has some serious legs, and I guess even if they lead to a fat cock, I’d still have no choice but to watch her jerk off on my fatty man tits, because I have a thing for models.

Related Posts:

Gisele’s Got Some Fuckign Legs
Live Bloggin The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
Gisele Mountain Biking
Adriana Lima Vs. Airport Security

Posted in:Bikini|Gisele Bundchen|Legs|Tits|Unsorted

2007

Oct

I am – Gisele Bundchen Goes Mountain Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

I am a pervert and as a pervert I fucking love watching girls on bikes. It’s probably got something to do with them staying fit and fitness is like some kind of myth in my life as I watch my wife eat donuts while watching tv, so I think my love for bikes comes from the position a girl is in when she’s riding. You know all bent over ready to take it while the seat gets eaten up by their crotch and their asses just kinda stick out in a way that allows you to stare at them as they ride into the distance, because you know they are too busy watching for traffic, or catching their breath to turn back and catch you jerking off to them. I guess I also like the fact that their tits hang out but you can never get as good of a look because they’ll catch you, and when they do you gotta smile and ask if the seat feel good or if they’d rather replace it with your face.

The other day I was sitting on a bench and this hot chick rode past me in a mini skirt, and I saw pretty much everything she had to offer and it made me feel like I won the lottery, kinda like Gisele. Her thong may not be like winning the lottery unless that shit was left in your hotel room after slammin her, but that’ll never happen to you because just getting into Gisele’s pants is like winning the lottery, and since you’re a loser, winning’s never really been your thing.

Related Posts:

Gisels’ Legs are Amazing Pictures
Gisele, Lima and Kurkova Performing
Gisele on the Beach
Gisele Adjusting Her Tits

Posted in:Ass|Biking|Gisele Bundchen|Thong|Unsorted

2007

May

I am – Celebrities Showing Off Their Tits at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala of the Day

2 Comments »

I am all for girls rocking cleavage shirts because I am a pervert and this site has given me a keen eye for spotting nipple slips. I was standing outside a bar, hoping a drunk guy who came out for a cigarette and accidentally drop his wallet the other day, and a group of hot chicks walked out with low cut shirts on, I guess it’s in style to show off your rack and I am not really complaining. One of them conveniently dropped something and when she went to pick it up her shirt dropped and I saw full fucking massive tit, while the other guys next to me missed it. It reminded me of when I was 12 and my foster mother used to come give me talks about God before I went to bed. She’d be in her night gown while I’d be lying in bed. She’d bend over to tuck me in, full tit exposed and I’d totally get a boner and jerk off to it the second she walked out. I always got scared that God was watching me, then I realized that if he was, he was a total pedophile and I might as well give him a good performance, because let’s face it, if I get him to get off when I was 12 only good things would be coming to me….I was wrong…

I am guessing that these celebrities are thinking the same thing, they are advertising their tits at some exclusive black tie event I wasn’t invited to, so that people like us fall into their booby trap…get it..I am so witty and that is good enough for you to start your day to….you’re welcome…

Jessica Simpson May Be Busted But Her Tits are Fucking Huge

Lohan May Be Distracting Us From Her Cocaine Video, But At Least She’s Doing it Properly, this shit will even get Disney to Sign Her Again

Salma Hayek is Pregnant and Full of Milk and That’s Pretty Much What I Wish All My Diet Consisted Of…

Jennifer Garner is Post-Pregancy and Her Tits Have Dried Up, But I’d Still Try To Get the Last Drops Out of Her

Rose McGowan has Always Had Hot Tits

Christina Ricci May Look Old and Beat Up and Her Tits May Have Been Reduced But She’s Still Packin’ Heat.

Scarlett Johannson Still Has Tits and I am Still Lookin’ At Them

Julianne Moore is the First Fire Crotch I Ever Saw in a Movie and Will Always Hold a Warm Place in My Heart for Proving that Myth Isn’t a Myth….

Rosario Dawson’s Tits Look Small But Small Titis are Tits Too…

Juliette Lewis is a Crackhead and Crackheads Don’t Have Tits, But She’s Still Trying…

I Don’t Really Give a Fuck About Mischa Barton But Whatever This is Still Cleavage…

Alicia Keys Has a Hairy Chest, So I Don’t Know If She Counts, But Even Men With Tits Count in Your World, Cuz You Are Desperate…

A few new ones…

I think Ivanka Trump Looks Awesome….I’d wallet-fuck her…

Karolina Kurkova Models Bikinis and I like Bikinis, Especially when they are on me, I feel so pretty…

Gisele isn’t with Victoria’s Secret Anymore, She’s Not a Hot as She Used To Be, But She Has Done A Lot in Her Panties and That Pretty Much Redeems Her….