Hayden Panettiere Archives - Page 14 of 17 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Hayden Panettiere Category

2008

Feb

Hayden Panettiere and Her Strong Man Cleavage of the Day

Here are some pictures of Hayden Panettiere at some Randy Jackson Event showing off her strong man tits. I am all for girls with small tits, just not a huge fan of those small tits lookin like the bouncer who kicked me out of the bar this past weekend because she spends too much time lifting heavy objects, like to fridge and small cars…..

I feel like fucking Hayden would be like fucking my wife. Sure, my wife is the complete opposite of Panettiere, being fat and scary instead of being muscular and scary, but the outcome is the same. Every time you crawl in bed with either of them you feeling like you’re either getting into the ring with someone way bigger than you who is going to kick your fuckin’ ass until you cum, or even like you’re rockin’ a red jump suit and you’re up against a bull who is staring you down with it’s big fuckin’ head and it’s not going to let you off too easily.

That said, she’s hanging with Miley Cyrus and that reminds me of some kind of summer camp reunion and that probably turns you on, you’re just a little pissed off that Hayden is 18 now and that’s because you’re a creep.

Posted in:Cleave|Hayden Panettiere|Miley Cyrus|Muscles|Pecs

2008

Feb

Hayden Panettiere Foot Fetish of the Day

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I am always fucking hung over fridays and have nothing to say because I have no idea what the fuck I did last night, but whatever it was, I left my brain wherever I ended up which was probably the gutter. I do know that I am seeing double and there’s nothing wrong with seeing double when you’re watching your useless wife try to get your limp dick up because it makes you feel like you’re having the threesome she never agree to have, but there is a problem with it when you’re lookin’ at Hadyen Panettiere because one of her is too much, and that’s only half the size of normal person.

Either way, here she is trying on shoes for Stuart Weitzman. I don’t know shoes but I guess Stuart Weitzman has a line of clown shoes or circus performing fireman boots that Hayden is the spokesperson for, and if he doesn’t he should.

Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere Down Shirt
Hayden Panettiere is a Cheerleader But Should Be the Football Team
Hayden Panettiere’s Upskirt
Hayden Panettiere in a See Through Shirt
Hayden Panettiere Flashing Her Panties
Hayden Panettiere Is Going to the Gym to Keep Her Thick Legs Thick and Broad Shoulders Broad

Posted in:Fetish|Foot|Hayden Panettiere|Shoes

2008

Feb

Hayden Panettiere’s Bending Over So You Can See Down Her Shirt of the Day

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I learned that midgets have tits at a young age when the only girl who would get with me was the midget in my class because no one else wanted her. That was also the time I learned that all the dudes running after the hot chick were idiots because she was sitting there taking numbers and making different dudes run through hoops while leaving a whole bunch of other dudes with no chance but who jerked off to the thought of the day the heating system broke and her nipples were hard and she was unable to cover them up because she left her sweater at home everyday, waiting…..were idiots, and that there was perfectly hot pussy that was ready and willing as long as you were willing to accept the fact that the pussy wasn’t actually hot but it pretty much felt the same and all it took was closing your eyes to imagine something better and ignore the embarrassment of being seen with them in public, because even ugly girls like to be treated like queens.

That said, I don’t think Hayden and her 5 foot nothing frame’s got much going for her, other than the ability to do more chin-ups than the average athlete and there’s nothing wrong with a strong boxy chick, especially if your the kind of pussy who likes his woman doing the man chores around the house like opening the jars and carrying the groceries in because you’re lazy and like a girl who can fend for herself.

Posted in:Down Shirt|Hayden Panettiere|Tits

2007

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere in a See Through Shirt of the Day

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Here are some pictures of that troll Hayden Panettiere in a see-through shirt. At first I thought she was rockin’ a training bra but then I realized that her arms and shoulders are so big she’s actually stacked, and ready to wrestle. It’s like that time I was getting with a girl and she pulled out a 5 inch long dildo to use on herself and shit put my dick to shame, I just couldn’t compete so I went to the kitchen and emotionally ate all her food while she finished herself off. That may not be saying much about me, but it’s saying something similar to why skinny girls like fucking fat guys because it makes them feel skinny or why average girls hang with fat ugly chicks because it makes them seem hot, I am sure there are better examples of this but I’m too lazy to think. Fuck you.

Either way, this is barely a see through, so if you’re lovin’ it not only are you weird because it’s Hayden Panettiere and she’s not hot even for a live-action cartoon character, but also because that kind of delusion is what leads rapists to rape, you know the whole “she was wearing a short skirt and was asking for it, no means yes” rational. Someone should report you, unfortunately, I’m not that guy. I’m too lazy to worry about your problems.

Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere’s Little Bra
Hayden Panettiere’s Upskirt Pictures
Hayden Panettiere’s Tube Dress and Short Ripped Arms
Hayden Panettiere’s See Through Dress

Posted in:Bra|Hayden Panettiere|See Through|Unsorted

2007

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere’s GQ Photoshoot Video of the Day

1 Comment »

So I’ve been celebrating a holiday I am not allowed to celebrate because I am not American, and drinking is my kind of protest, but I also like making excuses about why I am drinking at 6 am on someone’s couch with a dude who has webbed toes, like he was some kind of Hayden Panettiere circus performing freak, except that he’s more attractive than she is, because he can hide his creepy disorders in a pair of fuckin’ socks, while she’s wearing that shit on her sleeve everytime she leaves the house and starts juggling.

This is the video of her photoshoot for GQ that was probably the hottest she’s ever looked.

Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere Hot GQ Photoshoot
Hayden Panettiere’s Upskirt
Hayden Panettiere is Ugly

Posted in:GQ|Hayden Panettiere|Photoshoot|Unsorted|Video

2007

Nov

I am – GQ Does Photoshoots of the Day

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Since it’s Thanksgiving, I’d like everyone to take a moment for our troops in Iraq who can’t be home for this really special holiday weekend and are instead fighting for our freedom. Thanks guys! I’m just joking….because Thanksgiving isn’t a real holiday. It’s more of a joke.

I don’t understand why you American assholes make such a big deal out of it. I am in Canada and we got a day off back in October, even though everyday is a day off for me. I don’t understand why you have movies about Thanksgiving weekend or 4 -5 day weekends for the shit, it’s a bigger deal than Christmas and I can only assume that the Jews are behind this shit.

Either way, I would like to give thanks to GQ for always getting hot pics and good photographers hustlin’ their magazine’s celebrity spreads and apparently they hired a magician or some kind of tribal miracle worker because Hayden Panettiere actually looks good enough to stop trying to convince to join my DrunkenStepfather carnival and watch shower instead. I am hoping she doesn’t get the wrong idea and think she actually looks like she does in these pics, even though we can all agree we wish her actual self will turn into her picture-self, because that’s just going to be fuel to the fire that is her ego that already thinks she’s the hottest troll to hit the mainstream.

They also did some sexually suggestive Rihanna pictures, but bitch is always sexually suggestive so it’ not that big of a deal, but I’ll post them anyway, because I’m accommodating like she was before she was famous, back home on the island she comes from, workin’ at resorts and whorin’ out to a lot of rich married Americans hoping that one of them would fall for her talent and give her the big break, and by big break, I mean knock her up, forcing them to marry her and bring her to America, so that she can take 5 day weekends to celebrate thanksgiving too. Because having days off for holidays that shouldn’t be holidays is all part of the American Dream.

Related Posts:

Some Miracle Worker Took These Jessica Biel GQ Bikini Pics
Rihanna Bikini Pictures
Rihanna and Her Slutty Outfit
Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pictures

2007

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere’s Upskirt Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Hayden Panettiere showing off a pair of yellow underwear as she gets out of a car. I always loved the concept of yellow underwear, not because it’s hot, but it’s practical and the same reason a girl on her period should wear red period pants. It’s called preventative measures…like quitting smoking because you know shit will give you cancer.

I am not posting these because I think Hayden is hot, I can only assume that no one thinks she’s hot, except for a bunch of gay dudes who run the media, because she reminds them of their first experimental blowjob when they were 16 with the awkard lookin’ exchange student from Russia who had no friends and were lookin’ for acceptance.

The reality is that I am posting these because I know you are into fetish shit….and Hayden Panettiere reminds me of the caricatures people get done of themselves at the carnival so much that when Hayden gets her caricature done, the picture comes back lookin’ like a normal person. I guess seeing her underwear is one step closer to seeing whether her vagina has the looks like a bobble-head toy too.

I am just waking up, and the last thing I want to be doing is writing this site. I hate you.

Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere Saves Dolphins in a Bikini
Hayden Panettiere Pumps Gas
Hayden Pantettiere’s Body Scares Me

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Panties|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

Nov

I am – People Who Attended the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show of the Day

4 Comments »

Some dude just dropped a your mom joke on me and I fucking love your mom jokes, not because I find them that inspiring or creative and totally played the fuck out, but because my mom died when I was a kid and I like to reverse the your mom joke on the motherfucker because any normal person feels bad about droppin that shit on me and that is a lot funnier than saying “your mom” or “that’s what your mom said”. So today I told some dude that he’s awesome for hooking me up with something and he said “that’s what your mom said” and I said:

You know my mom? I thought she died when i was 5…I guess she just ran away from us and the priest who ran the orphanage told us she had died because he didn’t want us feeling like we were abandoned. Tell her I say hi and that I expect my birthday and christmas gifts from the last 32 years in cash.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are pictures of the arrivals of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, because I know that girls get off on seeing other girls in their lingerie. It’s like some competitive shit that makes them feel sexy and insecure and makes them want to suck their boyfriend’s dick harder than ever all at the same time, in some weird trying to reclaim that they are the most desirable vagina or some shit.

Hayden Panettiere’s Researching for the Day She Graduates Out of Her Midget Training Bra

Stacy Keibler’s Legs Need a Bra of their Own….cuz They Are So Long, They Are Like a Person of Their Own

Eva Longoria is Mexican and Doesn’t Buy Her Underwear in Packs of 6 from Wal Mart

Rachel Leigh Cook’s Cleavage Lookin’ For Support

Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge because they are Useless

Kat Von D wearing some Crazy fucking Pants cuz She’s Such an Original and Not Trying Hard at All….

Ana Oritz because She’s Got Some Good Cleavage, But I have No Idea Who She Is…

Related Posts:

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in Picture

2007

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere is Ugly of the Day

20 Comments »

The problem is the world is that people can never agree on anything. If everyone agreed on everything, there’d be no fights, there’d be no differences, there’d be no hate, and despite that being boring as fuck at least I’d be able to drive the fact that Hayden Panettiere is not fuckin’ hot down all your fuckin’ throats, because my new pet peeve is that bitch is being seen as some kind of sex symbol, when she should be doin’ backflips at the local carnival or workin’ stunts on a Japanese Game Show…

The weirdest shit for me is when I see a hot girl and turn to my friend and point her out, not because having a friend is pretty unheard of, which it is, but because dude never agrees with my choices. Some dudes like blondes, some like brunettes, some like young, some like old, some like chubby with fat titties, some like skinny, some like short and some like tall, some like anything they can get their dicks in, some only like supermodels and can’t get it up for table scraps but never get supermodels, so spend a lot of time jerking off all over themselves.

But I have faith and feel like we should all be able to agree that Hayden is about as attractive as the bucket of shit we had lying around my apartment when our toilet broke and my wife refused to take shit out to dump in the alley until it was overflowing….it’s nice to see stalky/stumpy bitches getting work, but constantly telling them how hot they are isn’t positive affirmation, it’s lies and the equivalent of telling a retard he’s a genius because he figured out that smashing his helmeted head against the wall til he bleeds isn’t as fun as he originally thought it was and went back to hitting rocks together like he’s supposed to. Retards are always good times.

Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere and Her Dogs
Hayden Panettiere Making Sex Faces
Hayden Panettiere is King of the Midgets
Hayden Panettiere is Flashing Her Bikini for the Dolphins

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Stalky|Ugly|Unsorted

2007

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere Pumpin’ Gas of the Day

4 Comments »

Someone keeps buzzing my door and I am not answering it. I have come to the realization that people don’t like me and potentially could want me dead so I just lock myself up in this place until I run out of food. The flaw in this plan is that I live with my wife and she likes to eat and I already caught her eating our last can of beans and I’ve only been in lock down for 15 minutes.

Either way, I know that you don’t care about my insanity and paranoia, but based on the hate mail I get daily, you’d probably understand it. Before I decided to go into lock down, I was out getting a coffee and this tiny girl was wearing some cleavage exposing shirt and her nipples were hanging out every time she moved. She was probably just about 5 foot and had all the same proportions as a tall chick, like long legs for her body and all that shit, but she was just in a smaller package, kinda like my penis, because at one time it looked it just doesn’t live up to the measurement test, but that’s not the point, the point is that Hayden Panettiere is also about 5 foot tall but not proportionate at all, unless you’re comparing her to a tank in which case, she probably is. Here she is pumping her own gas, I guess they didn’t get the pics of her changing her tires and the oil while building a shed in her backyard, cuz that’s just the kind of dude she is.