Nipples Archives - Page 11 of 12 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

25

Jun

I am – Demi Moore Nipples of the Day

Here are some pictures of Demi Moore running into her hotel in a see through shirt. We’ve all seen her tits in that Stripper movie of hers so I am surprised it’s taken her this long to expose the fake fuckers again. I don’t think nipples are a big deal and I don’t understand why I am considered porn for openly posting nipples, but Americans are pretty fucking conservative, and thanks to Demi Moore I am considered a Smut Peddler….

I was talking to some dude in the US Army this weekend while wasted on the campsite about banging older ladies. He told me that whenever he goes out drinking he tries to find the places where cougars hang out. He just likes the way they fuck better. He was going on about how young girls get all attached to his shit and one night stands with them take a bit of work and getting them to leave the hotel he happens to be at that day is always awkward. They get hooked to him and want to spend the day with him, where as MILFs just want to get the fuck out and back to their husband and kids or if they are divorced want to avoid any emotional involvement because their hearts have already been broken once and now they just want to cum…

I never really had that mentality, I always thought that old chicks were kinda gross, but I guess finding someone to make my bed for me and act like my mom would have been a good thing, but since my wife never gets out of bed, there’s no real need for that.

Either way, here are her nipples until the paparazzi companies email me demanding I take them down. So take it all in motherfucker…cuz this shit’s porno according to google.

Posted in:Demi Moore|Nipples|See Through|See Thru|Unsorted

2007

15

Jun

I am – Jade Goody Nipples of the Day

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This bitch’s name is Jade Goody and she’s a fat chick from big brother showing of her fat titties that she made at the all you can eat dessert bar, it only took her 14 years. Fuck implants. Eat cake.

I always wondered why every contestant of Big Brother was into flashing tit, cunt and whatever else they could after leaving the show and I think I figured it out. I had theories like the producers hypnotized them and that the producers gave them some kind of medication that fucked up their sense of shame because that would give the show higher ratings, but realized that it would be a hell of a lot more cost effective to just cast total sluts who have no issue showing their junk on TV. I guess another theory is that they thought Big Brother would be their big break and it’s only lead them to a taste of success and fame because as soon as the next season rolls out so do the old contestants. In this case bitch rolled out to the all you can eat buffet.

I have no real stories of sluts wanted to be famous right now, but I am feeling kinda too hungover to try to think back to pull out a decent story, so I’ll let this big momma’s breasts that can feed a nation with nipples are like a beer tap distract you from my shitty post.

2007

14

Jun

I am – Lauren Holly's Nipples of the Day

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When the pickings are slim you go for the drunk haggard divorcee in the corner with her tits hanging out at the bar. That’s pretty much what I did on the site today, only the rumor is that this Lauren Holly bitch is married, which is a good thing, because she doesn’t have a whole lot else going for her, except for the fact that she is a redhead with pretty big tits that you can barely see here…but since my content is always pretty shitty I figure why not post the fucking thing.

Speaking of shitty, I spend too much time on the internet. Last night I passed out at my computer at 4 am drunk because drinking is my favorite thing to do and I ended up having a dream about Lindsay Lohan. I know you don’t know me, but I seriously don’t give a shit about these celebrity whores and when they start haunting me in my dreams, I get annoyed. I don’t really remember what Lohan did in my dream last night, but it really wasn’t interesting. It involved her doing drugs and being crazy and somehow me being in her hotel room and ended up with me waking up in a cold sweat. I assume that means I need a vacation.

I’ll actually write some worthwhile about fucking old chicks or whatever later, but I am too busy trying to wake up. I can’t always be on. I am not your dancing little monkey but I will be if you start sending me money, I am a whore like that.

Speaking of whores, here’s Lauren Holly and her Nipples Jim Carrey once sucked.

Posted in:Lauren Holly|Nipples|See Through|Unsorted

2007

14

Jun

I am – Lauren Holly’s Nipples of the Day

51 Comments »

When the pickings are slim you go for the drunk haggard divorcee in the corner with her tits hanging out at the bar. That’s pretty much what I did on the site today, only the rumor is that this Lauren Holly bitch is married, which is a good thing, because she doesn’t have a whole lot else going for her, except for the fact that she is a redhead with pretty big tits that you can barely see here…but since my content is always pretty shitty I figure why not post the fucking thing.

Speaking of shitty, I spend too much time on the internet. Last night I passed out at my computer at 4 am drunk because drinking is my favorite thing to do and I ended up having a dream about Lindsay Lohan. I know you don’t know me, but I seriously don’t give a shit about these celebrity whores and when they start haunting me in my dreams, I get annoyed. I don’t really remember what Lohan did in my dream last night, but it really wasn’t interesting. It involved her doing drugs and being crazy and somehow me being in her hotel room and ended up with me waking up in a cold sweat. I assume that means I need a vacation.

I’ll actually write some worthwhile about fucking old chicks or whatever later, but I am too busy trying to wake up. I can’t always be on. I am not your dancing little monkey but I will be if you start sending me money, I am a whore like that.

Speaking of whores, here’s Lauren Holly and her Nipples Jim Carrey once sucked.

Posted in:Lauren Holly|Nipples|See Through|Unsorted

2007

13

Jun

I am – Natasha Hamilton Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

I know you probably don’t know who she is because I don’t know who she is and despite having no interest in these people and just use them to lure idiots like you into my site, I still have been doing it 2.5 years and that makes me a bit of an expert. I don’t think being an expert in identifying useless celebrities is something to be proud of, it kinda categorizes me into the worlds of virgins and people who cut out pictures of bitches from magazines to put in my magical box that I keep under my bed for lovemaking purposes. I am talking about the losers who identify with celebrity vagina because they can’t get vagina of their own and in their fantasy world the characters these bitches play in the movies are their dream girls and one day when they make it rich they will win them over and end up marrying them and living happily ever after. What they realize is that no matter how much money they make, they can’t erase the fact that they are socially awkward creepy chronic masturbaters and girls don’t like awkward creepy chronic masturbaters, not to mention you don’t get rich living in your mom’s basement playing role playing games and poking girls your don’t know on facebook. That said, I have no idea who this bitch is, but rumor is that she’s in Atomic Kitten and that’s some UK girl group you probably want to fuck….

The real reason I posted these wasn’t because of the white bikini, even though I love white bikinis because they get see through and everytime I’ve seen a bitch in you, I’ve been able to make out what her pussy looks like, and despite that sounding creepy as shit, reality is it’s not my fault a bitch is showing her junk to everyone at the public pool I sometimes sneak into..so stop judging.

I wanted to write about redheads and how I was always scared of them growing up. I was born in mexico and spend a solid 10 years of my life there. I had never seen a redhead before and when I did for the first time when I was moved to Texas, I thought they were the spawn of the devil. I admit I was living with crazy Jesus people and I thought that everything was evil because that’s what they beat into me, but these pale faced, freckle covered weirdos with fire colored hair made me feel fucking uneasy. Later in life, I became a little more obnoxious and started asking the redheads I knew if they had fire crotches, they never wanted to answer me so I just assumed they were. I think I probably traumatized them and gave them a complex, but I was 15 or some shit, I hope they got over it, because I don’t want a group of redheaded weirdos I once knew holding meetings on how they want to kill me for ruining their sex lives, because redheads are naturally really strong and could hurt me. I figure they are strong for the same reason retarded people are strong, their gene pool evolved over the generations to deal with dickheads like me who would tease them for being different, so that we couldn’t lock them in lockers and shit. Someone once told me that redheaded kids were left in the woods to fend for themselves as babies in the middle ages because having a redheaded kid was considered a bad thing. So the ones who survived were obviously the ones who could deal with the elements….making them a superior race of humans….

Either way, what I am getting at is that the though of these pale spotted people with bright red lips and what I assume big red cunts with orange fucking pubes used to make me fucking sick to my stomach and I couldn’t grasp why Archie from the Archie comics always wanted to get a piece of the redheaded girl…that was until I started seeing seeing hot redheads, ones who didn’t look like they were genetic accidents that would have been left in the woods in the middle ages. They looked like hot fucking pieces of ass that I wanted to go down on for fucking hours. Now it seems that every time I leave my house, I see at least one redhead I’d like to fuck, red pubes and all. Maybe it’s become a fetish because I’ve never had one, but I am thinking that for all those years I was just prejudice and missed out on fulfilling this dream and now it’s too late because I am married and can’t get boners.

This post was really long. I bet it was boring to read. Good thing you didn’t bother. Asshole.

2007

12

Jun

I am – Uma Thurman Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Uma Thurman in a bathing suit. I figured that the site is about bitches in bikinis and I have no choice but to post them. I have been getting a lot of hate mail from people saying that I’ve lost my edge, that I am not as funny as I used to be, that the site isn’t worth visiting anymore and that it’s going down hill. Reality is that it was never really good, it couldn’t go downhill and that I was always rock bottom. The only difference now is that you’ve heard all my stories, you’ve heard all my lame jokes and you’ve seen all the pictures I post on other sites a day before I get them up. I am actually shocked that I’ve been able to convince you 10-15 people to keep reading.

I ran into a guy I hadn’t seen in years the other day. He strapped down, got married, moved to the suburbs, stopped going out, gave up on life, sits at home and watches movies with his wife every friday night because she’s tired from the week’s work and spends saturdays going to flea markets or home depot to buy supplies to fix up their dream home….Either way, dude grabbed me by the collar and told me how he spends his days on the site and that my writing makes him really fucking horny.

I didn’t realize that I was turning people on, especially men I once used to hang out with and the fact that the only person I turn on with my writing is a 300 pound 45 year old dude kinda makes me feel awkward especially when he’s thanking me for changing his life. Reality is that I have never really turned anyone on in my life. I don’t write anything sexy and the girls I have been in bed with blame being drunk and dehydrated for their parched vaginas to be nice and not put added focus on my serious inadequacies.

If you want something to actually turn you on, think White Bathing Suit. These fucking things are always semi see through and revealing and designed for a good fucking time. I am not going to get into her wrist brace and how you’ve got medical restraint fetishes because injured vulnerable girls who are bound by casts turn you on, because that’s not the kind of show I am trying to run here.

Enjoy the tits, I am not even going to talk about her dumpy ass because I’ve already written too much that you won’t read. Asshole.

2007

11

Jun

I am – Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Prison Tattoos of the Day

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The thing I love about this Amy Winehouse bitch is that she is so damaged from all the drugs and self destructive behavior that it shows. Normally a celebrity or someone with a number one song tries to hide the fact that they are on the verge of death, but this bitch rock’s it in style. The other thing I like about her is that she’s got nice skinny legs, no ass and isn’t wear a bra. Keeping me on the edge of the milk crate in excitement waiting for the honeymoon tapes to be released….

I was walking downtown Sunday morning and I saw a broken down drug addicted homeless chick who was probably in her 30s and who looked like she was in her 50s kinda convulsing on the sidewalk waiting for money for her next hit of whatever it is that she does….She asked me for money and since I was bored and had no money, I chatted her up. I said sorry I can’t help you out but you’re beautiful and she said to me to not be sorry and to be happy and that if I really think she’s beautiful she will suck my dick for $5. It seemed like a good enough deal, but I don’t let homeless chicks touch me with their dirty garbage pickin’ hands, and I don’t really have the ability to get erections if I did.

Point of my story is that Amy Winehouse has made enough money to not need to beg for change for her drugs, she doesn’t need to offer blowjobs for $5, but she’s nice enough to keep things real by showing us her nipples…and still lookin’ like she does.

I think the big deal in these pictures is her prison tattoo of her husband’s name for those of you who care. I’m always bringing the goods.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

11

Jun

I am – Amy Winehouse's Nipples and Prison Tattoos of the Day

No Comments »

The thing I love about this Amy Winehouse bitch is that she is so damaged from all the drugs and self destructive behavior that it shows. Normally a celebrity or someone with a number one song tries to hide the fact that they are on the verge of death, but this bitch rock’s it in style. The other thing I like about her is that she’s got nice skinny legs, no ass and isn’t wear a bra. Keeping me on the edge of the milk crate in excitement waiting for the honeymoon tapes to be released….

I was walking downtown Sunday morning and I saw a broken down drug addicted homeless chick who was probably in her 30s and who looked like she was in her 50s kinda convulsing on the sidewalk waiting for money for her next hit of whatever it is that she does….She asked me for money and since I was bored and had no money, I chatted her up. I said sorry I can’t help you out but you’re beautiful and she said to me to not be sorry and to be happy and that if I really think she’s beautiful she will suck my dick for $5. It seemed like a good enough deal, but I don’t let homeless chicks touch me with their dirty garbage pickin’ hands, and I don’t really have the ability to get erections if I did.

Point of my story is that Amy Winehouse has made enough money to not need to beg for change for her drugs, she doesn’t need to offer blowjobs for $5, but she’s nice enough to keep things real by showing us her nipples…and still lookin’ like she does.

I think the big deal in these pictures is her prison tattoo of her husband’s name for those of you who care. I’m always bringing the goods.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

06

Jun

I am – Kate Hudson Nipples of the Day

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I got some slack today for posting the breastfeeding pictures and I figured this was a good opportunity to explain myself. Basically the person who wrote into me told me that my site is a porn site and posting pictures of a bitch feeding her baby is giving perverts something to jerk off to and that is morally fucking wrong because it involves a baby. The person felt that by posting these pictures, I was implying that when women feed their babies in public it is something that should get you off and by posting pictures of it, I am basically giving you fuckers the green light to jerk off to pictures with babies in them.

My response is that I do social and celebrity commentary. If I see a bitch feeding her kid in public, I am going to look. I am not going to get turned on by the fact that her tit is being sucked on by a baby, but I am going to check out what kind of tits she’s packing. I figured that if a girl pulls her tits out in the open she wants me to look. It happens so rarely in my world and if they don’t give a fuck about doing it then I am not going to give a fuck about posting them here.

I also think that if you use this site for masturbation material, you are pretty fucking weird because there’s a whole internet of hardcore porn that will probably get the job done a lot more successfully. My mission is not to get you off. I don’t post shit for the sake of turning you on. I post because I usually have something to say about the pictures, whether what I say is of substance or not, I get inspired or reminded of things I have seen and done.

The internet is filled with freakshows like hornylohanwanker who should probably be locked up even though he’s probably a school teacher or banker or some shit, but we’ll never know because he’s anonymous and that’s what the Internet is fueled by. If someone gets off to people eating, people walking, people dancing, dogs fucking, car racing, motorcycles or household appliances, they can either get of to that shit by doing a google image search on their computer behind closed doors or by going out into society and doing it there. I’d rather keep them locked up to their computer. If someone gets off to girls at the beach or girls at the waterpark or girls at the public pool, should we shut those down because of the few weirdos?

So what I am saying is that I don’t write for perverts, I don’t run a porn site, but it’s all up for interpretation and if that’s what this is to you, I can’t change that shit, just keep visiting cuz I need all the traffic I can get. I will just continue doing what I do and if that involves a slag showing the world her tits wither her baby suckin them for whatever reason and I get inspired enough to post it, I am going to post it because I am not going to censor myself or let you ruin all my fucking fun by dictating what I can or can’t do because of the freaks that are landing here.

That said, here are some pictures of Kate Hudson’s nipples and her baby who is dressed cooler than you.

Posted in:Kate Hudson|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

06

Jun

I am – Maggie Gyllenhaal Breast Feeding Her Baby of the Day

72 Comments »

IMAGES TAKEN DOWN TO PREVENT A LAWSUIT

So it turns out that Maggie Gyllenhaal is one of those bitches who think they have the right to pull their tits out in public to feed their little babies. I have always been a fan of these kinds of bitches. I remember walking in the park last year and seeing some slut who I call a slut because she was knocked and had baby sucking her pregnant titty, meaning that she really liked to fuck and when she fucked she liked it internal cumshot like the porn fetish I support. I also saw breast feeding at the coffee shop and I’ve seen it in restaurants and in malls andit seems it’s a whole movement, that’s really picking up because prior to about 2 years ago, I never saw bitches doing this.

My theory is that they don’t give a fuck because being pregnant is such a fucking bitch. You are pretty much sprawled out for many people to see your goods for over 9 months, not that many people hadn’t see this Maggie Gyllenhaal sluts good before the baby, but you know what I mean, it kinda takes away all sexual focus on those lady parts I love, and turns them into tools for their baby that they are obviously totally fucking obsessed over. It turns out that once sexy parts become tools then the person isn’t really shy about showing them off, or other people seeing them. What they don’t realize is that people like you get off to this shit.

The only real issue that I have with this whole thing, is that Maggie Gyllenhaal is about as my last shit, which I don’t really remember looking at, but remember having to wipe a whole lot, which isn’t very hot, unless you’re into scat, which you probably are. Sicko.

IMAGES TAKEN DOWN TO PREVENT A LAWSUIT

Posted in:Breastfeeding|Maggie Gyllenhaal|Nipples|Tits|Unsorted

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