Nipples Archives - Page 10 of 12 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

28

Aug

I am – Amy Winehouse Bikini Pictures of the Day

I realized today that my life is lacking something and that something is a little more Amy Winehouse in a bikini, thank god my dreams were answered, so that I can go on another day like Owen Wilson.

I don’t know what it is about crackheads that are half naked and wet, because it’s something you can see pretty much any downtown strip, but knowing that Winehouse has boatloads of money makes shit a lot more exciting. Poor addicts are played out.

There’s also something exciting about an emaciated crackhead like the fact that their heads look massively huge and I love horses, they are classy and the fact that her uterus is already hanging halfway out her box, all you gotta do is throw your load at her and hope some sticks, if you’re trying to K-Fed her and that’s a lot easier than those frigid bitches with tight pussies and internal reproductive organs…who probably wear underwear and don’t put out.

I just noticed her top is see through, and crackhead nipples are way cooler than any non-crackhead nipple because all you gotta do is wave 5 dollars in front of their noses to get a piece instead of actually having to talk to a slut…Try to prove me wrong asshole.

Related Posts:

Amy Winehouse Bra
Amy Winehouse Dirty Underwear
Amy Winehouse Nipple and Prison Tattoo
Amy Winehouse Nipple and Meth Skin

2007

26

Aug

I am – Jennifer Aniston's Small Bikini Showing Her Ass of the Day

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Jennifer Aniston Small Bikini Clad Ass

I know Greek girls are supposed to have big child bearing asses and that’s why they take it up the ass so easily, so it’s possible that these Jennifer Aniston shots are some kind of optical illusion and she’s really rockin’ a XXL, but by the looks of it, she’s in a XXS and shit’s barely covering her ass. Maybe next time she’ll get it right and use the bikini bottoms to cover the real offensiveness in these pictures and that’s her face. I am talking busted down pick-up truck face that reminds me of last week’s kitchen garbage or maybe even an old catcher’s mitt, but her body is pretty banging and I do my best to not hate on bitches with hot bodies, even if they look like they were mauled by a bear when camping as a child or some shit…

I was out in some random club in some random town with some random people. I ended up there by getting in the car with people I didn’t really know and going for the ride because they were cool with taking me along with them and I was pretty tired of being downtown and ready for a change in the outskirts of hell. It turns out that the outskirts of hell attracts a hell of a lot of slutty looking girls who like talking to random people, not so much me because I look like an overweight mountain man and chicks that have bleached hair and fake tits and halter tops get enough of that at work when old men like me pay them 10 dollars a song to grab their tits…Either way, at one point in the night these 3 ugly chicks all with fake tits were doing shots in the corner. I wanted to join in but they weren’t having it but I did get to listen to their conversation and all they were talking about were their fake tits, how many CCs they had in each, who their doctor was, whether they had sensation back and all this fake tit shit. It was like seeing three guys with the same car randomly meet in the shopping center parking lot and start comparing their engines…..

Aniston may not have fake tits, but she does have hot tits, and that’s pretty much the end of this post. I’d ask for your feedback, but I really don’t give a fuck about what you think. Asshole.

Related Posts:

Jennifer Aniston Bikini Top Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures…
Jennifer Aniston’s Nipple

2007

26

Aug

I am – Jennifer Aniston’s Small Bikini Showing Her Ass of the Day

8 Comments »

Jennifer Aniston Small Bikini Clad Ass

I know Greek girls are supposed to have big child bearing asses and that’s why they take it up the ass so easily, so it’s possible that these Jennifer Aniston shots are some kind of optical illusion and she’s really rockin’ a XXL, but by the looks of it, she’s in a XXS and shit’s barely covering her ass. Maybe next time she’ll get it right and use the bikini bottoms to cover the real offensiveness in these pictures and that’s her face. I am talking busted down pick-up truck face that reminds me of last week’s kitchen garbage or maybe even an old catcher’s mitt, but her body is pretty banging and I do my best to not hate on bitches with hot bodies, even if they look like they were mauled by a bear when camping as a child or some shit…

I was out in some random club in some random town with some random people. I ended up there by getting in the car with people I didn’t really know and going for the ride because they were cool with taking me along with them and I was pretty tired of being downtown and ready for a change in the outskirts of hell. It turns out that the outskirts of hell attracts a hell of a lot of slutty looking girls who like talking to random people, not so much me because I look like an overweight mountain man and chicks that have bleached hair and fake tits and halter tops get enough of that at work when old men like me pay them 10 dollars a song to grab their tits…Either way, at one point in the night these 3 ugly chicks all with fake tits were doing shots in the corner. I wanted to join in but they weren’t having it but I did get to listen to their conversation and all they were talking about were their fake tits, how many CCs they had in each, who their doctor was, whether they had sensation back and all this fake tit shit. It was like seeing three guys with the same car randomly meet in the shopping center parking lot and start comparing their engines…..

Aniston may not have fake tits, but she does have hot tits, and that’s pretty much the end of this post. I’d ask for your feedback, but I really don’t give a fuck about what you think. Asshole.

Related Posts:

Jennifer Aniston Bikini Top Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures…
Jennifer Aniston’s Nipple

2007

23

Aug

I am – Charlize Theron's Hard Nipples of the Day

3 Comments »

In an act of desperation to find something decent to post today while hung the fuck over, I came across these Charlize Theron pics. Now they aren’t that interesting to look at, but if you really are desperate you’ll look really closely and see some barely there nipple action, but you’re used to being barely there, with your small penis and all.

I think Charlize Theron is hot and I remember learning about her in the 90s in Playboy. The first time I saw her was while taking a shit at some dude’s house who had the Playboy she was in next to the toilet. So despite relating this bitch to taking a mean shit, I did find her amazing to look at and any excuse to throw her up here is good enough for me….

Speaking of desperation, I was at a bar a little while ago and this group of young girls showed up in matching t-shirts. The guy I was with started chatting them up and it turned out that they were launching some shitty clothing line and were totally willing to do anything to get ahead….I told my friend to tell them that he ran a big website and makes people famous everyday and that he’d be able to help them hit it big. My friend decided to tell them that it was a shitty name and moved on with his night by drinking away his pain with me by his side. An hour later, I happened to be next to the girls and this asshole who had been hustling them since we left them was running every ounce of game he could find on them and they weren’t having it. I unfortunately became a prop in his pick-up strategy when he grabbed me and tried ballroom dancing with me. I didn’t know how to react because he was bigger and more drunk than me and because I was never used as a prop to get a bitch in such a homosexual way in my life…but I finally got away from him and the girls thought it was so funny that all four of them left with him. I was used, emasculated and a felt like a fucking fag, but the positive in all this is that my dick doesn’t work so I had little use for them and I couldn’t get turned on by the dude being so close to me so I didn’t have to go home to some unresolved sexuality issues.

Point of all this is that Charlize Theron is the kind of African you racists want to see on all fours…

Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Bikini Ass and Dog
Charlize Theron Bikini Pics
Posh Spice has Hard Nipples

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

23

Aug

I am – Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipples of the Day

3 Comments »

In an act of desperation to find something decent to post today while hung the fuck over, I came across these Charlize Theron pics. Now they aren’t that interesting to look at, but if you really are desperate you’ll look really closely and see some barely there nipple action, but you’re used to being barely there, with your small penis and all.

I think Charlize Theron is hot and I remember learning about her in the 90s in Playboy. The first time I saw her was while taking a shit at some dude’s house who had the Playboy she was in next to the toilet. So despite relating this bitch to taking a mean shit, I did find her amazing to look at and any excuse to throw her up here is good enough for me….

Speaking of desperation, I was at a bar a little while ago and this group of young girls showed up in matching t-shirts. The guy I was with started chatting them up and it turned out that they were launching some shitty clothing line and were totally willing to do anything to get ahead….I told my friend to tell them that he ran a big website and makes people famous everyday and that he’d be able to help them hit it big. My friend decided to tell them that it was a shitty name and moved on with his night by drinking away his pain with me by his side. An hour later, I happened to be next to the girls and this asshole who had been hustling them since we left them was running every ounce of game he could find on them and they weren’t having it. I unfortunately became a prop in his pick-up strategy when he grabbed me and tried ballroom dancing with me. I didn’t know how to react because he was bigger and more drunk than me and because I was never used as a prop to get a bitch in such a homosexual way in my life…but I finally got away from him and the girls thought it was so funny that all four of them left with him. I was used, emasculated and a felt like a fucking fag, but the positive in all this is that my dick doesn’t work so I had little use for them and I couldn’t get turned on by the dude being so close to me so I didn’t have to go home to some unresolved sexuality issues.

Point of all this is that Charlize Theron is the kind of African you racists want to see on all fours…

Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Bikini Ass and Dog
Charlize Theron Bikini Pics
Posh Spice has Hard Nipples

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Michelle Rodriguez Bikini of the Day

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I have a thing for White Bikinis because they usually go sheer when a girl gets wet and girls generally don’t realize when their white bikinis go sheer so that makes for a great opportunity to scope out her goods without her even noticing….

I don’t have a thing for women in men’s underwear. I once know a guy who used to love that shit before it became a popular, everyday thing. He would go to K-Mart and buy up as many pairs of action figure little kid underwear he could find for whoever he was banging at the time. I don’t know what it was that got him off, was it because he liked little boys or was it just because he liked girls dressed like little boys, and the reality of the situation was that no matter how you looked at it, it was pretty fucking creepy but then all of a sudden companies started releasing boy shorts made the exact same way as the briefs he used to love, so maybe I am the weird one…..

The other funny story about that guy was that when that girl dumped him he was so devastated that he went to a gay bar and let gay dudes buy him drinks because he was so caught up in her that when she broke his heart he wanted to go gay, but never did because it didn’t turn him on….even though I saw him years later at a club high on E getting rubbed down by an Asian dude…I guess that was the drugs talking and not his underlying homosexuality..but I have never let a man rub me down when high, I have however caught myself holding hands with guys when i am drunk for a longer amount of time than normally accepted socially, but I didn’t do that cuz I was into the dude, I did it because I was so drunk I appreciated the support so that I didn’t end up flat on my face….

Either way, no matter how you dice it, whether girl’s got a pussy or not, being into these Michelle Rodriguez pics is almost as gay as letting a man rub you down at a club while you’re high on E, even if it looks like she may have tits and her dick is nicely tucked away….

Related Posts:
Michelle Rodriguez is a Monkey in a Bikini
Michelle Rodriguez is a Primitive Human in a Bikini
Michelle Rodriguez shows off her Abs
Michelle Rodriguez Swims Drunk and Topless
Michelle Rodriguez Licks Her Armpit

Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Rodriguez|Nipples|Underwear|Unsorted

2007

14

Aug

I am – Carmen Electra in Her Panties of the Day

1 Comment »

These are supposed to be pictures of Carmen Electra on the balcony in Malibu wearing a T-shirt and a pair of panties. I don’t know if that’s 100 percent true because I am not there to sniff them out. It could very likely be a bathing suit, but I guess who really cares….

The other day I was chatting with some girl on IM because I do that when I am bored and too lazy to venture out into the real world. She told me that she was trying to sell a pair of shoes on ebay because she wanted money to get her tits done. I told her that if she really wanted to make money she should consider selling her used underwear on the internet. I once knew a guy who used to hustle that shit and made a killing. He was a bit of a con artist and would make his girlfriend wipe herself after pissing with a pair of new underwear and he’d use a glue stick to make it look like their was crusty discharge in them. I wanted to get up on his entrepreneurial venture and do the same thing, but at the time I couldn’t convince any of the girls I knew to wear a pair of underwear for a week. Not because they were hygienic but because they didn’t wear underwear because they got in the way of letting dudes fuck them in back alleys.

It was basically the same as how the Japanese streamlined automotive manufacturing by making robots to the job of 10 men. Underwear just got in the way and was one extra step to how they made their money so they wouldn’t go back to that old school way of doing business.

I don’t know if my story made sense to you, but it doesn’t really matter because you can kinda see Carmen Electra’s pussy definition and that’s more interesting than anything I have to say but then again, so are most things…

Related Posts:

Carmen Electra Bikini Pictures
Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie
Carmen Electra’s Lycra Pants
Carmen Electra’s Itchy Cooch

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Hot|Nipples|Panties|Unsorted

2007

13

Aug

I am – Britney Spears' See-Through Nips of the Day

No Comments »

I went home with some British consultant on Saturday night after getting shot down by this other fella that works for an expensive car company. I spent most of my night working on “Car Co.” He bought me several drinks, but obviously didn’t understand the consequences of getting a girl drunk. Liquor + me = SlutFest 2007. I kept trying to kiss him, he kept pulling away. Either he was gay or had a girlfriend or was bad at business, like he invested money then didn’t follow through? This ex-hooker doesn’t get it.

I don’t remember him leaving, but I remember moving on to a British guy who was hot in a bulldog way, and I have a soft spot for UK accents. This Brit had a fancy place and a tiny penis. We fucked for what felt like an hour until he unleashed his ass fixation. Now I hate anal because it hurts like a bitch and unnecessary if you’re in to chicks, but I wanted to sleep in a room with AC and a comfortable bed. Judge me, I don’t give a fuck, I used to be a hooker.

Here is Britney Spears and her nipples looking like the kind of girl that would take it up the ass for a popsicle, and she’d probably buy the popsicle herself. I think it’s safe to say she probably has to purchase her lovers these days, you can see it in her sad dead eyes and sagging tits. So you can dump your internet girlfriend and quit your job at the 7/11 because your chances of nailing her and retiring early just went up.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

Related Posts:

Britney Spears Goes Out in a Bra
Britney Spears Swims Topless
Britney Spears Squatting in Public

2007

13

Aug

I am – Britney Spears’ See-Through Nips of the Day

8 Comments »

I went home with some British consultant on Saturday night after getting shot down by this other fella that works for an expensive car company. I spent most of my night working on “Car Co.” He bought me several drinks, but obviously didn’t understand the consequences of getting a girl drunk. Liquor + me = SlutFest 2007. I kept trying to kiss him, he kept pulling away. Either he was gay or had a girlfriend or was bad at business, like he invested money then didn’t follow through? This ex-hooker doesn’t get it.

I don’t remember him leaving, but I remember moving on to a British guy who was hot in a bulldog way, and I have a soft spot for UK accents. This Brit had a fancy place and a tiny penis. We fucked for what felt like an hour until he unleashed his ass fixation. Now I hate anal because it hurts like a bitch and unnecessary if you’re in to chicks, but I wanted to sleep in a room with AC and a comfortable bed. Judge me, I don’t give a fuck, I used to be a hooker.

Here is Britney Spears and her nipples looking like the kind of girl that would take it up the ass for a popsicle, and she’d probably buy the popsicle herself. I think it’s safe to say she probably has to purchase her lovers these days, you can see it in her sad dead eyes and sagging tits. So you can dump your internet girlfriend and quit your job at the 7/11 because your chances of nailing her and retiring early just went up.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

Related Posts:

Britney Spears Goes Out in a Bra
Britney Spears Swims Topless
Britney Spears Squatting in Public

2007

09

Jul

I am – Lisa Rinna is a Fucking Clown of the Day

3 Comments »

Lisa Rinna hasn’t done much since Melrose Place. If you are wondering why I know she was on Melrose Place, it’s because I keep track of all celebrities or semi-celebrities with big tits and a ton of plastic surgery, it’s kind of a hobbie. I also used to do pretty hard drugs in 1996 that left me on various couches with a group of people who were in love with the show and followed it like it was a fucking cult. I think one guy even got the shit tattooed on his back or something because he was crazy and thought he was living in the show but that’s not important.

What is important is seeing a bitch pick herself up from the depths of getting no work, and realize her place in society and that is being a clown at birthday parties. Here are some pictures of her in action but not in costume because if she gave the whole act away, no one would want to hire her.

I am really only posting these because her nipples are hard, she’s wet and she’s more flexible than my wife, which isn’t saying much, I think the Fridge is more flexible than her because it opens. I guess she’s just had nothing better to do than work out the last 11 years…

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