Nipples Archives - Page 6 of 12 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Nipples Category

2008

May

Ellen Pompeo Hard Nipples With No Bra of the Day

So I am watching Oprah, like I do everyday since I am pretty much a house wife and when the TV works, it’s the only channel I have. I may not have a vagina, but I do have a penis that works a lot like a vagina, a really rank smelling vagina. Either way, Oprah is about Sex in the City and Ugly Sarah Jessica Parker is on bragging about how the show has a committed male fan-base and as the camera scrolls over the audience, the 4 men they show are all wearing pink cowboy shirts and clapping their hands like drag queens with their lips pursed because they are gay. I feel like saying you have a strong male audience is a totally different thing that having a strong gay audience, not because fags aren’t men but because fags fuck men and have more in common with women in things they like doing. I guess Sarah Jessica Parker wouldn’t know since her husband is the biggest fucking queer – he’s all song and dance broadway Broderick so her perception of men is one of having a live in gay who help you pick out your dress, do your hair and make-up and talk to about boys while making you babies. I assume like a bad episode of WIll and Grace but I never watched that shit and I’ve never watched this Sex in the City trash because I think it gives girls a horrible role-model with ideas that being a slut is ok, denouncing their genetic need to have babies and be homemakers to focus on their career and feed their unhappiness with shopping, consumption and sex with randoms, when we all know a woman’s place isn’t in the work force unless that work force is in my house doin’ my motherfuckin’ dishes while giving me head.

Either way, here’s Ellen Pompeo not wearing a bra because shit is represents a patriarchal society and reduces women as sex symbols and they want liberation from that shit. What they don’t realize is that not wearing a bra is a hell of a lot more slutty, especially when your nipples are hard enough to pierce through 2 layers of t-shirts and I can pretty much visualize them naked, not because I want to, but because I have to. At least she counterbalances everything almost decent in these pictures by wearing those stupid fuckin’ pants that makes me feel like I am watching the Harlem Globetrotters or some shit.

As a side note, Kristen Davis just walked onto the set and I’ve already seen her big meaty pussy a month ago in her nude pics that were released and that I had to take off my site from her lawyers and it makes watching her talk more fun because all I see is her massive dark colored labia talking to me about being unhappy when she was 25 and it makes this garbage a little more tolerable.

Posted in:Bra|Ellen Pompeo|Nipples|See Through

2008

May

Jessica Alba’s Shitty Pregnancy See Through of the Day

4 Comments »

I am back and so is Jessica Alba at least that’s what people are saying about these see-through pictures of her. I don’t have the same horny, virgin vision as you, because when I look at this shit I don’t see any fuckin’ nipple, but then again I’ve spent the last 4 years staring at a computer so my eyes work about as well as my non-existant libido.

Despite bitch being knocked up, I know you’d still do her cuz you’re all about the banging a woman who is carrying because the circle of life is such a beautiful thing but not as beautiful as not being able to knock her up since someone’s already been there. It’s one of those get in, get the job done, get out and don’t hear back from the girl again, not that that would happen for you with psycho Alba who used her uterus to trap her boyfriend which is the reason why escort agencies should offer full service from pregnant whores so you can live out your fantasy.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Nipples|See Through

2008

Apr

Pink’s Hard Nipples Go Lesbian Shopping of the Day

6 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Lesbian Pink doing some Lesbian Grocery Shopping and her nipples are hard. I was trying to figure out what she bought because I figure lesbians buy anything tree hugging, vegan, organic and granola based, but can’t make out what this is. I guess lesbians also buy anything phallic because they can use it on their pussies before eating it in some kind of green-living, saving on consumption kick.

I think ti’s funny how everyone is fuckin’ crazy about saving the environment now, it’s everywhere I fucking look. Where all these people think they have a responsibility to save the fuckin’ world and that their using shitty overpriced lightbulbs or putting a brick in their toilet is going to make a fucking difference. I don’t like group though and that’s why I still don’t recycle. I am a garbage producer and the proof of that is in this site.

Posted in:Nipples|Pink|Shopping

2008

Apr

Aubrey O’Day’s Got a Proper See Through Shit On of the Day

2 Comments »

Aubrey O’Day is another slut who thinks she’s more important to the world than she actually is. She’s the kind of girl who catches her boyfriend watching some kind of Jenna Jameson porn and figures she can do that shit too, only instead of porn she does pop singing. She’s the kind of girl who all her life was told she was good enough to be the next Britney Spears but just couldn’t land a break until she saw the casting call from Making of the Band 3 – and then it all fell into place and by fall into to place I mean she’s got a D-List career that she tells herself is a stepping stone but will fizzle out as soon as Making of the Band 4 hits, but at least she knows to not wear bras to get more attention to herself. So maybe I’m wrong, maybe she’s here to stay, but that popularity or success won’t change the fact that she’s useless.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Nipples|See Through

2008

Apr

Sophie Monk’s Got No Bra and Hard Nipples of the Day

4 Comments »

I think posting Sophie Monk is my way of rubbing shit in Benjo Madden’s face because I think she’s hot and he’s onto some sewage treatment plant of a vagina that he found in Paris Hilton. I know the whole expression we used to drop back in the day that even Cindy Crawford’s husband gets bored of her and seeks new vagina, back when Cindy Crawford was the hottest model out there, but I still think going from this to Paris is some kind of twisted shit. I guess Paris is more experienced sexually, and that sometimes means that bitch is better in bed and can do things to him that a regular unslutty chick can’t, but I know that every slut that I’ve ever got with has been pretty shitty in bed and the reason they are sluts in the first place. Pretty much no guy ever stuck around with them long enough for them to really experiment and there sex may be with many people, but it’s been bad sex with many people. Where as a girl who just gets out of a long term relationship is all about licking your asshole and letting you fuck her without a condom because that’s all she really knows.

I guess what it all comes down to is that that best sex Madden has ever had was when he was in the womb suckin off his twin brother that they caught on ultrasound, and for him his life will be a constant journey to find that innocent first love again…..and unfortunately for him he’s lookin’ in all the wrong places, but at least he can get a cheesy mall tattoo to commemorate the journey.

Here’s Sophie Monk with no bra and hard nipples you perverts…

Posted in:Nipples|Sophie Monk|Tits|Uncategorized

2008

Apr

Jessica Simpson’s Nipples Do Esquire of the Day

7 Comments »

Jessica Simpson is in Esquire and I am not down with the way she’s aging, not sure why but I feel like everyday she looks more and more like a dude. The good news is that she’s got some tits and those tits have hard nipples and I guess that compensates for her pro-athlete lookin’ face.

I was watching some Carson Daly shit last night at a girl I met at Starbucks’ house and Perez Hilton was on talking about how he was making out with John Mayer while Jessica was rubbing Mayer’s crotch. Now I don’t care for Perez or his gay stories with singer/song writing homos who aren’t out of the closet with their homosexuality, but the fact that he’s doing gay shit isn’t a testament to how shitty Jessica is in bed, it’s just proof that bitch looks enough like a dude to attract dudes who are on the fence with their sexuality. She’s the kind of girl down with male-male-female threesomes for her sexually confused boyfriend and that makes her someone you’d probably like to get to know because your theory is that as long as there’s a chick in the room with you and another naked erect man, you’re in the clear and don’t have to come out to your family.

More proof that bitch attracts closet cases is that she’s dating a football quarterback. Football may be the most abusive sport out there with men tackling men in spandex who all go to the locker room to shower together when the games over, but it sounds a whole lot like a gay porno storyline to me and if you were a closet cased homo in highschool, you’d probably be more drawn to that extra curricular activity than starting a band to lure all the slutty girls into your basement with….

I guess my theories don’t matter, just look at the pics.

Posted in:Esquire|Jessica Simpson|Nipples

2008

Mar

Lohan and Her Lesbian Cock of the Day

9 Comments »

I wonder who the fuck raped or molested Samantha Ronson when she was younger to make her end up like this creepy drug addicted lookin’ lesbian in a hat. I guess there is a chance that she wasn’t molested or raped and it is just a genetic issue. I’m thinking that maybe there wasn’t enough female DNA to go around in her mother’s broken womb, because it all went into Mark Ronson’s singing, and Samantha Ronson got stuck with the short end of the stick, literally, because bitch was born without the penis she wished she had….

Either way, she’s hanging with my internet mother Lohan, because she looks old enough to be my mother, which wouldn’t stop me from getting her herpes all over my face and my seed all over her uterus in hopes of having a genetic freak like Ronson of our own.

I am not sure why Samantha Ronson is creepin’ on Lohan, but I know she’s up to no good. She looks like the dude from the Frosty the Snowman cartoon who was trying to steal Frosty’s hat and ultimately killed him…and I feel like Ronson is up on that which means that they are either fucking, or doing drugs together, when they really should be shoppin’ for clothes together because Samantha Ronson’s needs a new look, but is more into drinkin’ beer, huffin lines, watchin’ football and fuckin’ bitches with her clown sneakers on….what she doesn’t realize is that just because she fucks bitches and is a bitch doesn’t mean she has the right to dress like a dude, if you have a vagina, you should be a lady who dresses like a lady even if you fuck ladies.

Either way, I messaged Ronson on Facebook for an official statement about these pictures, she ignored me. Maybe she was jerking off to porn and changing the oil on her car after building a shed in her backyard, like the dude that she is, or maybe she was out trying to ruin Lohan more than she already has by riding Lohan’s fame until Lohan self-destructs as Ronson shovels cocaine up both their noses….

I’ve spent too much time writing this post and it sucks. I need a nap.

Posted in:Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Nipples|Samantha Ronson

2008

Mar

Kathleen Robertson’s Pregnancy Tits in a One Piece of the Day

5 Comments »

Her name is Kathleen Robertson and she’s 35, knocked up and has fat tits in her one-piece bathing suit. The good news for her is that she will have a little fucker who will always love her unconditionally, or until the repressed memories of her touching it inappropriately surface, because it will come in handy when her husband leaves her for never bouncing back from her pregnancy weight.

Speaking of bouncing, this stripper who we negotiated with to get her to insert 4 fingers in her vag and a thumb in her bum was at the stripclub last night. The reason we did it was because she was fat and just as hungry for money as she was for donuts and we knew we could get her to push her limits a little. She was even fatter this time around, I guess it was the winter weight, or maybe it’s from spending the whole night on a chair sprawled out like she was on my couch eating a bag of fuckin’ chips….nothing says please touch my tits for ten dollars like a drooling fat slob with a plate of fries in front of her.

Posted in:Kathleen Robertson|Nipples|One Piece Bathing Suit|Tits

2008

Mar

Patsy Kensit in a See Through Shirt of the Day

18 Comments »

Her name is Patsy Kensit and she is a nobody who married the dude in Oasis when he was at the height of her career which pretty much means she’s still a nobody, because Oasis died a long time ago, but since she’s out and the paparazzi care enough to take pictures of her tits. I guess whenever I go out, which is almost never, and a girl shows me her tits I always try to get pictures of it. Unfortunately for me, it turns out that strip clubs don’t like cameras very much and beat you up for trying to capture the moment to share with your loved ones when they ask for what you’ve been up to…..

Either way, I guess she’s never given up and that’s something I like to tell strippers to keep their morale up, but usually only at the end of my lap dances when I’ve run out of money….but that’s just because I want them to keep on going….but they usually take it as some kind of inspirational words of wisdom that helps them live with themselves for being whores….whores who have now had their tits seen by less people that this Patsy Kensit character. I guess she’s like the Den Mother now…

I don’t know what I am talking about.

Posted in:Nipples|Patsy Kensit|See Through|Shirt

2008

Mar

Kate Moss’ Nipples in a Photoshoot of the Day

6 Comments »

Kate Moss did a topless photoshoot for some magazine and I figured I’d post them because I am a fan of Kate Moss. She lives a good life, she does drugs, she parties, she has a lot of money, she’s not a very involved parent, which is nice because who wants a bitch who is spending all her days hanging with her kid, when you’d rather be partying and doing drugs globetrotting…and she likes getting naked.

I remember the last mother I dated, I ended up marrying and everything became about her fucking kids. All the money she brought in went to buying them clothes and that only worked out in my favor when their purchases were bikinis or new panties and it involved modeling them for my opinion. They were practically 18, I’m not a fuckin’ pedophile. Asshole.

Posted in:Kate Moss|Nipples|Photoshoot