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Archive for the SFW Category

2015

15

Dec

Jennifer Lawrence Wonky Eyebrows for L’Officiel of the Day

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Quirky, Awkward, weird, very famous, very employable, always working, always winning awards because America or at least film producers fucking love her…Jennifer Lawrence….is on the cover of L’Officiel China, in what doesn’t even look like her, but that does make me laugh thanks to the eyebrows…one thick, one thinner, both different, all creepy..

Sure we’d all be happier with more nude selfies, hell I’d even prefer the Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence sex tape, something we can assume Amy Schumer will release in her strategic friendship with the star, that you know Amy Schumer, 15 year veteran comic, clearly an outsider from the entertainment industry for the longest fucking time, until something just hit for her, is being very cautious with…because she knows as much as the world knows…that she doesn’t deserve the success she’s got or the famous friends who are co-signingher shit..

Doesn’t matter…what matters is that Jennifer Lawrence was so average looking until I saw her tits, and her sleazy on all four selfies…really understanding the nude selfie and how it is meant to be done…studying it like a character she’s playing…and speaking to my soul as someone who gets nude selfies all day..that these were in fact official and from the heart…

I guess I just figured out the mystery that is Jennifer Lawrence…it’s not all in the eyebrows…it’s just her “it” factor..she’s got it.

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|SFW

2015

15

Dec

Kylie Jenner, Bella Hadid, and Lottie Moss for Vogue of the Day

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Really Vogue?

I thought Vogue was a premium magazine, the kind of magazine that makes the trends, and doesn’t follow the trends. You know they are the ones who see every designer out there and say “this one gives us ad money, let’s say his coat is the trend of the season, and then we can go to all the other designers and sell them bigger campaigns for the same results, because everything in the media is a fucking ad, since the advertising control revenues”….

I didn’t think Vogue was some bullshit tabloid, bottom feeders…who have decided to feature the bootleg siblings of the more famous “models”…

This is Kyle, Bella and Lottie (Kate Moss’ sister) and not Kendall, Gigi and Kate Moss…because I guess it makes for a fun sisterly story in a world where none of this shit matters, but these idiots think it does…

Garbage masturbatory bullshit perpetuating these idiots…

Posted in:Bella Hadid|Kylie Jenner|Lottie Moss|SFW

2015

15

Dec

Bella Hadid is Day 15 For Love Magazine Advent Calendar of the Day

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Bella Hadid is the darker haired, probably more interesting Hadid, who is like the Kardashians up on exploiting the entire family, from parents on Reality shows talking about how rich they are, to their shitty kids, who just fuck around all day…where one books high paying modeling jobs thanks to being positioned properly, and the other one doesn’t need to work, because neither of them need to work they are rich kids and their parents support and even life this lifestyle…but thanks to America’s fascination with rich kids, like they are the “cool kids” in your highschool, despite not even being that hot…they can excel as models…

She fucks The Weeknd, I know girls who fuck him behind her back, it’s a Toronto gossip thing when Bella’s not in town with him…and I guess who cares, she’s just in it for the press and his fans…and for some reason, Love Magazine is all about her…even making stupid, not very clever, videos with her for the Advent calendar…

She’s in panties, whatever, I expect more concept…this whole Love Magazine Advent Calendar is a fucking mess…but I guess they’re laughing that people like me are dumb enough to promote it…

Fucking LOVE MAGAZINE and their Christmas lies…

Posted in:Bella Hadid|Love Magazine|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Jennifer Lawrence Braless at a Premiere of the Day

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I once spoke to a film producer about Jennifer Lawrence. I asked why she was the one getting cast in everything. Why she was the one nominated for everything. Why she was the one everyone loves and he told me some bullshit line…

Something like “If you see her first movie, that she was nominated for, she was brilliant, she had the it factor and still does”…

Which translates to “if you’ve seen her tit pics, you’ll know she has great tits, but tits aren’t enough to cast a girl, even if you get to suck them on the casting couch, but rather the industry needs stars to cast, so they create them, because the more they cost, and the bigger the budget, the more money the producer takes at the top of the production, which is a standard 10 percent”…

Translation, if you have a star who you pay 10,000,000 to, and the investors think she’s worth it, she sells your 80 million dollar movie and as producer you pull 10 percent off the top before production, and you just made 8 million dollars…

When everyone knows you can make a movie for 25,000 – 100,000….but where’s the incentive or scam in that…

Either way, Jennifer Lawrence brought her hot tits to a premiere….of something she got paid too much for…if she’s even in it, I don’t keep track of her day to day bullshit…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Candice Swanepoel in St Barts for the Final Holiday Push of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is still pretty hot…but I find her boring..

I just feel as though she could have done so much when she was at her prime, you know before turning 30. Seriously, she’s done nothing beyond her half nakedness at Victoria’s Secret…and really she’s not doing much beyond her half nakedness at Victoria’s Secret on this shoot in St Barts, or what I like to call the strategic last push before the holidays to get their models in the gossip magazines….

But then someone I met told me that he fucked her, while she was dating the homo she’s now engaged to, and I guess that made her moderately more interesting…sure the guy I was talking to was a crazy person…but for some reason I believed him…at least more than when a homeless guy told me about how he had a threesome with Marilyn Monroe and JFK…all while smelling like urine.

SHe’s in a bikini…being fun…because she’s won at life – obviously..

She’s got an ass…like most people who aren’t amputees, hers is just better.

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Posted in:SFW|Victoria's Secret

2015

14

Dec

Cheryl Cole’s Calendar of the Day

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I am old…and I remember Cheryl Cole…and I guess she’s still around and doing things that only her audience would really grasp…a 2016 Calendar…seeing as the new generation, or really anyone under the age of 30 only knows Calendar to be the name of an app, and it lost the photoshoot integration that anyone over 30 will remember, because one of the shittiest most common gifts at a secret Santa was a fucking Calendar…

Whether it was a Glamour model, a breed of dogs, or kittens, there was a fucking Calendar for it…whether it was self produced or done by Hallmark, there was a Calendar for it..but there’s no need for that anymore..

But I guess no one told this Girls Aloud, Soccer Wife, turned Soccer Divorcee and host of the X-Factor, who I think is still hot as fuck that…and I guess that’s a good thing, because seeing any hot girl pose for what looks like an instagram photoshoot is just a 3 on 10 in exciting…and 3 on 10 in exciting is better than 1 on 10 in exciting…

This is cheesy as fuck, but I guess when I read it was a Calendar Shoot, I should have anticipated that…because in 2015 the idea of a Calendar is more of a joke than anything….so here it is…

Posted in:Cheryl Cole|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Jaime King’s In a One Piece of the Day

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I call this outfit “I have stretch marks from all the baby making I’ve participated in first hand…just be glad I’m not naked and my vagina isn’t spilling out…pretty much everywhere”….

Her name is Jaime King. She was a model in the 90s, I think…she’s gone onto very important things, like being friends with Taylor Swift….and now she’s taking bikini advice from her…because that’s just how influential Taylor Swift is…

I liked her better when her name was James King and she was on heroin.. at 14…because she tried it on her first modeling job in 1994…when heroin was in…something these lame instagram models will never know….

I guess I’m a purist like that….I am old enough to remember her at 18…and I think there’s something raw and real in a person when living the New York model / party life in that era…something that died when they go Hollywood…

But for a 40 year old…she’s doing ok…as long as she covers the fuck up…

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jaime King|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Adriana Lima Thick for Cover Girl Magazine of the Day

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Last week, I had an argument with a girl about Adriana Lima losing her edge by gaining a whole lot of other things, like her barrel body…that isn’t really something you’d expect from a lingerie model, but definitely something you’d expect from a mom who keeps fit at the gym when her husband is at work making money to pay for her expensive life…

I guess what I’m saying is that I am a firm believer in throwing in the towel, retiring, doing other things that involve being clothed, because younger girls…just look better than older women…in underwear…no matter how many millions of dollars are left on the contract, it’s not worth the humilation…

I guess it’s possible these are just bad pics…

Posted in:Adriana Lima|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Olivia Wilde Is in a Bikini in Hawaii of the Day

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I don’t really know why I hate on Olivia Wilde….but for some reason I’ve decided she’s an overrated target of my deep rooted, soulless anger…

Maybe it is because she’s old, 31 or something equally disgusting…maybe it’s because I don’t find her hot…or maybe it’s because I haven’t seen any of her TV shows or movies, so she’s more the kind of celebrity who just shows up in my feed and look at her mom body and think…what the fuck is this…

I do know that her birth name is cockburn, and that was something I had fun with at least once or twice…

I also know that she’s got an outty pussy that is sticking its tongue out at us…but I can’t be sure if that’s baby making related, or getting famous related, or just the way she was born…

I mean she’s in a bikini, she’s some socialite from a long line of respected journalist in both the UK and America, but she decided to use those connections to get on TV…and I guess now to get in the paparazzi….

It’s all so boring…but check out that outty pussy.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Olivia Wilde|SFW

2015

14

Dec

Demi Lovato Falls On Stage of the Day

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23 minutes into this video…Demi Lovato…the lesbian, definitely dyke even if she fucks that guy from that 70s show…Disney star with an insanely loyal fan base…Demi Lovato falls on stage….and does a weird turtle on it’s shell…hands and legs in the air struggle…because the spandex in her outfit, that is attempting to make her look fit thick despite being sloppy thick…in a world that fucking loves thick girls…it’s trendy to be plus sized and to say “love your body, embrace your body”…it’s like a Dove soap campaign and fat chicks everywhere, who happen to be the masses EAT it up like it was baked goods…

I figure it is safe to say that the scam in this 23 minute clip is that she saves falling until the last minute because she wants to force you to watch the whole thing..

Posted in:Demi Lovato|SFW