SFW Archives - Page 1006 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

11

Dec

Gisele Bundchen Talks About Herself for Chanel of the Day

Ex Victoria’s Secret model and Athlete Wife made something like 6 million dollars last year and notfrom being on payroll from her husband, you know sugar babying, and not from stock options in Victoria’s Secret, and not from the Brazilian tranny sex trade, but rather from working for Chanel pretending to surf in a video…that went extremely viral and not because her face is hard and looks like Celine Dion..but because when you spend 6 million dollars on something – it better fucking go viral…

I guess this is the follow-up, the last line item in her talent contract and obligations to get that final check…and it’s pretty fucking lame…

It’s her talking about herself, someone no one gives a fuck about, I mean do Chanel shoppers aspire to live the Gisele life, she’s not even Glamour, she’s a panty model…it’s just fucking weird…but if you’re like me, you appreciate listening to these models talk about themselves, because it reminds you why you hate them…

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|SFW

2015

11

Dec

Elle Brittain by Cameron Hammond of the Day

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Elle Brittain is amazing, and not just because she got mad at me for doing a post on her declaring my love for the world of low level instagram models…because it allows people like me to find gems like this…which I think was pretty nice of me..it’s saying “Hey check out Elle Brittain, she’s a fucking nobody, but she gets naked for free and may become a somebody, because she’s fucking hot”….right…

I probably went into a bit more detail about how I wanted to taste her unshowered asshole, as I do…but I just see that as flirting…with no need to get mad…we’re all in this together and let’s do this together…you know a rat race where the odds are against us…or at least let me watch while you do it…because I’m lazy….

The point of the story is that I want to eat her unshowered ass, because she’s perfect, going places, the next Emrata, which isn’t saying much more than “she has good tits and really doesn’t need any talent beyond that…because the world likes good tits…”…

I love Elle Brittain…and I don’t care how much she hates me….I want to be the Monkey on her Shoulder…or eating her ass while she’s sleeping…cuz that’s the only way I’ll really ever feel or find love…

Posted in:Elle Brittain|SFW

2015

11

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio is the Love Magazine Advent Calendar Star of the Day

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So Love Magazine’s Christmas Advent Calendar that has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas because Christmas is a dated, Christian based holiday and if you’re white and Christian in this world you don’t matter, you’re just a fucking racist…mainstream fuck…when everyone knows it’s way more hip to participate in more obscure and politically correct holidays…like the Winter Solstice…connecting to our Pagan roots…

Day 11, for December 11, much like the chocolate you used to pull out of your cardboard Advent Calendar, celebrating 2 weeks until Christmas….is Alessandra Ambrosio in an American Bikini, rolling around on an American Flag…as a Brazilian model…for a British magazine…because America is what made this bitch matter…or at least afford the life of luxury through her modeling / sugar babying..

She looks fine, it’s hard to get excited by this kind of thing…but it’s here…so watch it….

Via LOVE MAGAZINE

Ambrosio was also at some event, because this video was probably shot months ago, and she was showing off her tit, so that happened…and you can see the rest of the pics… CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Love Magazine|SFW

2015

10

Dec

Naomi Campbell’s Nipple at Madonna’s Party of the Day

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Sounds pretentious – because it is…

Naomi Campbell long, luxurious, nipple…..or really her full tit – pulled out of her shirt – leaving a Madonna Party and the only thing it is missing is an angry Naomi Campbell having some kind of rich bratty model tantrum, either throwing things, or punching things, as she’s been known to do..

YOu see, I like my models to have massive fucking egos, at least at the Naomi Campbell level of models, and I like seeing them assert yourself…

I’m so used to Instagram models pulling the same kind of shit, and it’s just not as cute, luxurious or warranted as this…even if the self absorbed instagram model thinks it is…

Point of the story is…hot nipple..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Naomi Campbell|SFW

2015

10

Dec

Selena Gomez Tits for Christmas of the Day

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Selena GOmez is my favorite pre-marital sex Catholic Mexican girl..who probably has no soul, thanks to her mom selling her off to the entertainment industry, but she does have conviction and day after day she goes out there to be a pop singer…like she was Taylor Swift…despite having never done one single hit that anyone beyond a bunch of 12 year old girls who liked her because she fucked bieber…could stomach…the same 12 year old girls she’s saying “hey look at my tits, the media loves my tits, I got them when I was undergoing the lowest dose of Chemo, which has been a great sympathy card to play, as Cheemo makes people think of dying kids”….when really the only thing dying about her, is any dignity she may have as a perfomer…you know as the realization that she’s not ever going to be a huge pop star and that she should go back to TV acting… slowly sets in….

I guess the takeaway from all this is that people still love talking about tits…thank god.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2015

10

Dec

Erin Heatherton Nipples for Yu Tsai of the Day

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Erin Heatherton is one of the girls who dated Leonardo DiCaprio, even though I’ve been told he fucks dudes…

She’s works with other girls who have dated Leonardo DiCaprio, even though he fucks dudes…

Which either means he fucks dudes, as girls don’t like to fuck the dudes their friends fuck….or these VS models are prostitutes who do what they are told especailly when it comes to fucking a-listers…

Either way, she’s nude modeling, because I guess she needs some press, to keep her competitive…and I like tits…

Posted in:Erin Heatherton|SFW

2015

10

Dec

Chloe Moretz Has No Nipples of the Day

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The biggest scandal in Chloe Moretz’s public life is that she’s playing the live action Little Mermaid…and she’s going to have Blonde hair…even though Ariel has red hair…how could they do this…

I think the bigger scandal in Chloe Moretz’s career should be that she’s got no nipples…at least not in lace shirts…

But you perverts don’t care, you’re committed to the cause, and that cause is barely 18 year olds you’ve been masturbating since they were 12…freak…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Chloe Moretz|SFW

2015

10

Dec

Adriana Lima Knows Her Angles of the Day

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I got hate mail from one person for calling Adriana Lima fat in at least 1 of the last few posts I’ve featured her in…because I guess I was being a little to quick to pull the plus sized model card, seeing as she’s not fat…obviously…or at least not fat like we know fat…where bellies are hanging over elastic band pants….fat….but she is looking her age, like a mom, with a barrel of a body…much like a pug…like the old timer stripper working the day shift…you still get a lap dance from her…but you prefer when her daughter, following her foot steps is working…ya know…

Not to mention, Lima may be fat, I’ve seen many secret internet fatties rocking their angles…to look lean and even toned…so…I’ll only be able to give you an educated opinion when she’s sitting on my face….

Posted in:Adriana Lima|SFW

2015

10

Dec

Charlotte McKInney’s Florida Trash Tits in a Magazine of the Day

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by LiCeK

Charlotte McKinney is some rich kid from Florida, because there are rich people in Florida, especailly when they are from tax evading jewelry selling families legally based out of the Bahamas…

Instead of just sticking to south Florida tanning her really stupidly large tits, or working as a bottle service girl, because despite being rich, sometimes it’s fun to make your own money, and who knows who you’ll meet….she decided to fuck the casting director of Dancing with the Stars, who put her in a Guess ad, to justify dancing with the stars, and now she’s the big tits from Dancing with the Stars…

Low level dreams can come true…so long as you have huge tits..

I don’t know what this magazine is, but check out these clown tits…i want to juggle…with my mouth…even though I hate her…

: by LiCeK

: by LiCeK

: by LiCeK

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW

2015

10

Dec

Charli XCX Slutty for Sunday Times Style of the Day

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Charli XCX is some UK popstar who I don’t think is really that relevant, but relevant enough for Taylor Swift to have ripped off her music, at least according to the internet, not according to me, because I am not an expert on either Taylor Swift or aspiring Taylor Swift music….in fact, I fucking hate it and believe it is the devils work designed to sell product to our youth..

I do know that Charli XCX may not be overly famous, I can’t think of anything she’s done, but music is overrated and gets in the way of me listing to my internal dialog crying in the failure that is my life…

I also know that she shows off her tits and ass, and even when she’s done up for a style magazine, she’s still a whorish enough for me to care and that is one of the keys to success according to me…which means nothing to anyone in the grand scheme of the world…

I just know when a girl is willing to get naked…keep encouraging her to get naked…by talking about her even when she doesn’t get naked…a theory that will backfire when she decides she doesn’t need to get naked anymore because she’s finally made it and can get fat…I guess only time will tell…

Posted in:Charli XCX|SFW

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