SFW Archives - Page 1003 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

16

Dec

A Couple Overrated Pigs Jiggling of the Day

I guess it’s a “Tis the Season to Jiggle on Social Media” for adorning fans who probably don’t really know why they follow these idiots, but do because “why not”…

So one of the overrated jigglers is Kylie Jenner, who thanks to her family she’s got a botox filled face that makes her look like a muppet in her 40s at 18….but who also sells silly product to her retard followers who I guess think she’s substantial, hot, or what guys are looking for in the world. I’ve been in the same room as her at least once and didn’t even notice her…zero star power, zero sex appeal, but bitch can fucking jiggle…

Then there’s Lena Dunham, who jiggles when she walks, everyday in her life and she feels the need to get naked and show you just exactly how it jiggles, since being fat and ugly, in this day and age can turn into money if you just position it as feminism and embracing your body and loving yourself…only to sell a TV show that your self involved ass stars in playing the naked chick no one wants to see naked…no matter what the fucking message is…put your damn clothes on..

I don’t know when Jiggling became a thing…but I guess it is…and even I’ve got on bored with this jiggle video…that’s far more festive than this terrifying shit.

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|Lena Dunham|SFW

2015

16

Dec

Kelly Rohrbach Nipples at the Star Wars Premiere of the Day

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I didn’t like Star Wars in the 70s, 80s, 90s, 10s, or today…I didn’t understand the hype, or other kids went crazy for it…which I guess has been a theme my entire life.

I only liked the incest storyline, because incest is the fucking best…other than that, I just ignored it.

I knew kids who played with Star Wars toys, I’d bully them and tell them how fucking stupid they were, but it was a losing batter, I was outnumbered and realized that day that the general public will buy anything sold to them, that others accept, because they are lemming drones…

That said, the 4 billion dollar buy out of Star Wars by Disney, is officially releasing their movie at midnight tonight, and nerds everywhere aren’t reading this, they are too busy rocking their austistic heads back and forth in excitement…they just can’t deal..

Kelly Rohrbach, a Sports Illustrated model, what n case you didn’t know means low level model who just happened to land model lover Leonardo DiCaprio through positioning, realized that this event, was the one to wear a see through shirt to, because nerds, a very loyal audience, will be watching.

We call this strategic media planning. She’s clearly got a good team and/or logic on her side…

Either way, the only way I can tie this back to Star Wars, is saying that I’d fuck her if she was my sister, only to punish her for the family for being everything I hate and that her social climbing represents..

Good fake tits though….

TO SEE MORE PICS FROM THE MEDIA EVENT OF THE YEAR – THE STAR WARS PREMIERE CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kelly Rohrbach|SFW

2015

16

Dec

Abigail Clancy for Love Magazine Day 16 of the Day

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Love Magazine is from the UK, so it’s only natural they’d use one of thier own for their shoot. Seeing as their take on America involved the instagram starlets everyone hates but still follow…was what I consider a bust…while Abigail Clancy, who goes by Abbey Clancy stripping…is a must..

That was a rhyming scheme for Christmas, because Abigail’s ass makes me poetic on this Christmas day…as nothing says Christmas like not recognizing that Christmas exists….but having a girl roll around a bed naked doesn’t need Jesus’ birth, it can happen always…and it does…on instagram…

My first post on her was in 2007 HERE

My first post on her shitty pussy slip was in 2014 HERE.

It’s nice to see that in those 7 years she’s done so much….that you barely remember who she is…

And now this…I call it a little fun day shooting to justify the life as a girl who doesn’t need to work because rich guys finance her life…and she deserves it. If you’ve seen other UK girls…she’s got her teeth, her skin isn’t gray, this is gold…so pay it market rate because if you don’t, someone else will.

VIA LOVE MAGAZINE

Posted in:Love Magazine|SFW

2015

16

Dec

Caitlyn Jenner Is Not a Man in a Dress of the Day

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He’s also a Man in a wig…or a Man on female hormones…or a man just cracking to the pressure Hollywood puts on a girl about her appearance or a man who is fucked up thanks to taking growth hormones in the 70s, who confuses his feelings with those of wanting to be a woman, identifying with a woman, but not actually chopping his dick off to be as close to a woman as possible, just in case he wants to go back to where he comes from.

I was accused of being transphobic, the girl actually called me transphobic because I called a trans person a tranny…because that’s what we call them, at least in porn and the idea that a word to describe a chick with a dick, a concept in and of itself totally absurd and insane, is considered derogatory…but then I remember everything in the world is considered derogatory and I must force myself to ignore and embrace the comedy in this.

I love this family photo of Brody Jenner,someone who has fucked more instagram models because he’s Brody Jenner and star of “the hills”, his mom, who looks more like a man thanks to shitty surgery and menopause, than his dad who has tits…

I love that even Caitlyn Bruce Jenner said somethings that’s gone viral because it was disrespectful and insensitive to people who actually struggle with their gender…about not wanting to be “man in a dress”….because it is in it for wrong reasons…or superficial reasons…but in his defence the girls he has been surrounded by all this time are vapid superficial twats…and like the transphobic accuser said…who am I to say what Cailtyn Jenner is feeling…well I do know Caityln Bruce Jenner and its Gender is a shameless joker…and that’s what matters..

Nothing says Christmas like this…

Read it’s statement HERE ….

Posted in:Caitlyn Jenner|SFW

2015

16

Dec

Martha Hunt’s Cameltoe of the Day

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I don’t know if girls realize that the number one place I look at when looking at a bikini pictures is the pussy definition…

I realized at a young age, when it comes to girls I kmow, the tits are tits, and that you can make out a set of tits when a girl is in T-shirts, or even a sweater, it’s very hard for me to look at you and not know exactly how your tits hang, what the nipple size and color is and the other important things that come with tits…I’m an expert..

Pussy that shit leaves me in the dark…I can’t tell in pants, even most leggings, it’s just really hard to figure out if you’re dealing with a meaty pussy, an clit heave pussy, or a coinslot slit clamshell..

So once a girl gets in a bikini, get really wet in that bikini, everything…becomes clear…it all makes sense…and I know what I am dealing with…

And when it comes to strangers, like this model Martha Hunt…who has posed naked and who is one of VICTORIA’S SECRET 10 NEW GIRLS , I guess to replace Candice…

I prefer seeing her pussy definition to her tits, it’s just more curious, adventurous, mysterious, because tits…are tits…and pussy is everything…the gateway to a girl’s soul…or someshit..

Posted in:Martha Hunt|SFW

2015

16

Dec

The First Look at Ghostbusters The Menstrual Cycle Years of the Day

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I love how feminists, or people who call themselves feminists, since I like to think of myself as a feminist, who celebrates women everyday, even if I tell them that their only purpose is to make me cum, and once I’ve cum I’m done with them…unless of course they’re making a sandwich….or dinner..etc.

The word “misogynist”…is just so overused, thrown out as quickly as a rape accusation that never goes to court…but that labels a poor drunk guy who banged a drunk girl with regrets..

Yes, I know sometimes it is actual rape…that’s why you need consent forms before sex. Cover your asses…

So people get all mad that they are using a girl cast in Ghostbusters, because film companies know that the market is female and that only girls pay to go to movies….if you notice all content is designed for women now.

They don’t understand that remaking ghostbusters is a terrible idea, not to mention casting women is an even worst idea…and sure people will watch it “just because”…but that doesn’t mean it’s worth seeing.

It’s one of those “let’s see how bad this is”…when the resources could have gone into doing something good…idiots

So am I a woman hater because I think girl ghostbusters on their periods, killing Ghosts with PMS, is a bad idea in a Ghostbuster remake? I doubt it….I am a woman hater because my mom never breast fed me, she was too busy sleeping around…

I am not actually a woman hater, I am a Ghostbusters remake hater….but you can call me a misogynist – I get that all the time and have been getting that since the late 90s….and I’m fine with it…

Posted in:Ghostbusters|SFW

2015

15

Dec

All Of the Lindsay Lohan Ellen Von Unwerth No Tofu Pictures of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan is everything.

If there was a god…she would be Lindsay Lohan…

I have always had a soft spot in my cold dead heart for Lindsay Lohan…I always felt bad for her being raped and exploited by her asshole parents, who were into more cocaine than her, leading to her falling the fuck apart, as most kids who don’t have good parents do…leaving her in a huge fucking pile of shit she couldn’t crawl out of…

But I’ve always believed in her and her ability to excite me made me convinced she would win…I believed that if she didn’t fully self destruct, and die, you know from not eating and drugs being shoved down her throat by other idiots who were bringing her down with them….that there would be a comeback, there would be an Oscar, there would be a second coming of Lohan…and in the process maybe I’d be cumming to…

I would go so far as to say that she’s the reason for this site…but maybe not…but I did used to leave her silly voicemails and I did used to text back and forth with her before we met and she didn’t want to fuck me…but she did dance then cry about some bullshit for me…in her hotel room…in what was the greatest night I barely remember thanks to being drunk…

These pictures are amazing..by Ellen Von Unwerth….who is Amazing…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2015

15

Dec

Bella Thorne Pushing Booty of the Day

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Bella Thorne is the 40 year old pretending to be 17 before turning 18…..like she was Courtney Stodden or other girls who were clearly older than they said they were….pretending to be under 18…dressing slutty…getting dudes excited….since that’s what the American male is into…since it is illegal and bad…which I guess increases the speed of orgasm, something I can’t relate to since 16 is legal here and I never fuck with that…or capitalize on that…

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m wholesome, and here’s Bella Thorne, the it girl who has to be lying about her age…doing a little booty pop…all redheaded and cute…which is good enough for me to post…

Here she is for instagram

Here is some more red dress

To See The Rest Of The Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2015

15

Dec

Alyssa Miller for Love & Lemons Swim of the Day

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You may remember Alyssa Miller from Sports Illustrated many years ago…but she hasn’t really done anything since…so you probably don’t remember her at all..and you’re thinking “who is this old chick in a bikini”….

Well, just because she’s old and washed up…even dumpy…and a virtual no name who lost out to the instagram models…

We can’t take away the fact that she was is Sports Illustrated Swimsuit a bunch of years ago, a job that she secured by fucking one of the photographers….before cheating on him with Jake Gyllenhaal, because when you are a self serving whore you do self serving whore things, trying to better your life, because all whores want a better whore life…..

Sure Gyllenhaal is a homo, lame as fuck, but when he comes a knocking, you got to throw in any morals or values or loyalty you have to the man who got you this far…and just go for it…it’s the ladder climb…

Well, I guess her friends started a lingerie line that has become a swimwear line…because here she is as their model…a job that I assume is a friend hook up more than anything…

Posted in:Alyssa Miller|SFW

2015

15

Dec

Miranda Kerr Naked for Harper’s Bazaar Australia of the Day

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Miranda Kerr is who I like to call the the Sugar Babies of the year. That’s a polite way of saying “Money Grubbing Hooker”…because she had a legit million dollar or more a year modeling career after getting knocked up by a famous Australian actor because she was working the scene as a low hanging fruit Australian model…who know the right people to get access to Orlando Bloom’s sperm that made a baby no one talks about…

I’ve been told by people who work with her management that she’s the fucking worst. A diva, a bitch, a cunt…they were the same people who told me she got fired from Victoria’s Secret for fucking Bieber…while married…which turned out to be an actual story a few months later…that no one really cared about, since it is Miranda Kerr and no one cares about her..

That said, she’s gone on to work for a few brands after Victoria’s Secret, because I guesss there is life after Victoria’s Secret, but more interestingly..she has dated at least 3-4 billionaires…bcause when you’re Victoria’s Secret model on your resume model, you can command more for your man than a low level instagram model..

I guess one of the steps in her staying relevant enough as a model to keep her billionaire, is doing shoots that get press, in this era that means naked…so here she is for Harper’s Bazaar Australia…without showing her mom pussy…meaning what’s the fucking point…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|SFW

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