SFW Archives - Page 1111 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

31

Jul

Tall, Awkward, Rich, Famous, Jennifer Lawrence in a Bikini of the Day

In case you were wondering…Jennifer Lawrence looks better naked than in a bikini, or clothed….

You see there was a few years in Jenner Lawrence’s career where I just found her an irritating, overrated, scam of an “actress”, constantly playing an idiot in public, so that when she performed in movies, people would be like “Shit she’s good”…in comparison to her real life retard behavior…

I was like “she’s not even hot, she’s just big and bulky”…

THen she leaked the nudes, and boom, love happened…the weirdo awkward bitch making millions for selling out, while also starring in huge fucking Brad Cooper movies, was amazing nude..she was slutty enough to take nudes…and looked good nude…and I figured there is no way she didn’t leak them herself, in a way to maintain being a victim…

The world moves fast, no one cared a week after they happened, we see porn all day everyday, we don’t need Jennifer Lawrence nude, it’s not the 90s when nude celebs was a thing, because now nude neighbors and girls I went to school with, or who work at the bar nude is what we care about…

So seeing her in a bikini, looking average at best, reminds me…that she should be naked…not clothed…

That’s it.

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|SFW

2015

31

Jul

Mariah Carey and her Friends is Creepy of the Day

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Here’s a little Mariah Carey hanging out with Bieber..that is one of the creepier pictures because Mariah Carey must be 100 years old…and should be busy hanging out with her Billionaire boyfriends who she gets passed around between, becasue she’s crazy and medicated..making this one of the worst parties, you’d probably want to end in some kind of terrorist attack since you’ve got them all in the once place, but that instead probably ended in a terrorist attack on the people, in the form of shitty music

Interracial!

Here’s her thick mayan neck…

Posted in:Mariah Carey|SFW

2015

30

Jul

Lindsay Lohan Ass Picker of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan will never die. She’s proved that her career can die, but this bitch can take an obscene amount of abuse…and still manages to have an ass I’d love to eat, even knowing that it’s tainted, but also that it’s probably never shit, because she’s some cocaine fueled robot with no soul…not that a shitting ass would be a turn off for me eating ass, I’m mean it’s something I deal with everytime I eat ass, and apparently, the ass always wins….I mean…as a general concept…because the fact it’s being eating by me…means it’s actually lost…

To see more pics of LOhan in a bikini CLICK HERE …

But if you’re over her, like the film industry and producers are, here’s her replacement, co-star from Mean Girls, who I assume cast a spell on Lohan when they were in the same room, to either steal Lohan’s career…and/or…do Lohan better than lohan….Amanda Seyfried…in Leggigns…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2015

30

Jul

Elsa for GQ Magazine Mexico of the Day

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Elsa Hosk is Swedish, yet she’s in GQ Mexico…how’s that make sense? Is this globalization? Or is this just making a girl an international success…

The fact is that she’s disappointing, because before she was a VS model on their promotional tour, she was a nude model, getting naked in fashion editorials that may have had no point, but that involved naked girls, and naked girls, is all the story I need for a fashion editorial, or really any editorial, I grew up jerking off to Playboy, I can appreciate that vibe in the mainstream, more than throat fucking, humiliation, teen porn…I’m wholesome like that…

What I am saying is, these pics aren’t naked enough for a girl who gets naked…

Posted in:Elsa Hosk|SFW

2015

30

Jul

Nina Agdal Has Eats Lipstick and Has No Nipples of the Day

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If you’re wondering what’s new in Nina Agdal, the annoying, loud, drunk, Danish model who I think lives in Miami….despite looking like a retard who shoudl probably live in a retard home…

She’s been eating Lipstick…

A video posted by Nina Agdal (@ninaagdal) on Jul 29, 2015 at 1:58pm PDT

And has no Nipples…

Who cares.

Posted in:SFW

2015

30

Jul

Charlotte McKinney Boobie Play of the Day

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These are some screencaps from some GQ produced “viral video” called “How to Date Charlotte McKinney”…

Where you can get sucked into her up talking, dumb sounding, florida trash….lying about how she dates, who she dates, or what she thinks about dating, she’s just talking in Cliches while looking more unattractive than I originally thought…snorting and swearing like the drunk hooters girls she was mean to be….

What she forgets to say is “Rich and Connected” and/or “ex celebrity Stephen Dorff”….

She’s the worst…and doesn’t belong…here’s the video anyway – you’re welcome GQ….

But a reminder that America, the land of big tits, is still ass obesessed, but back to being tit obsessed, which I guess is a familiar place, even though I like ass, as tits come in so many shapes and sizes I can enjoy, while asses are just hit and miss….flat all back, fat, sloppy, etc…

So Big tits are back in, not that they were ever out, but they weren’t getting the same love asses were….but now they have the power to create something as shit as Charlotte McKinney…so never underestimate the power of tits…

Here she is talking about her boobs on Cosmo…for the men….pretending to be for the women…and that face…it’s so bad…

Here are some paparazzi pics of her “Bra less” because this bitch MILKS things Hard CLICK HERE

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW

2015

30

Jul

Hailee Steinfeld Bikini Top of the Day

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Hailee Steinfeld is the tall, awkward, weird looking, average acting, actor from I don’t fucking know what..

I just remember her as some underage actress I am sure at least one of you has masturbated to, mainly because you are perverts, but also because America made sexualizing her illegal, and everyone is drawn to what they aren’t allowed to do…or maybe men are just drawn to underage girls in some unhealthy, obsessive weird way…thinking they are fresh and untouched, even though girls get their periods at 4 years old now, and have sex by 8…with everyone in their class…all thanks to internet porn and hormones in the food…

Now she’s showing her tits in a bikini, because it’s summer and people like showing their tits in bikinis…it comes across as less desperate….and slutty, even if it’s a “hey look at me in a bikini”…which by default is desperate and slutty….exhibitionist behavior…

Posted in:Hailee Steinfeld|SFW

2015

30

Jul

Lily Collins on a Paddleboard in a Bikini of the Day

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Lily Collins has a career of her own. I am sure it has nothing to do with her dad being Phil Collins…the singer…of such classics as…su su sudio…

And everything to do with raw talent…and/or how scandalous she gets on instagram…with these bikini pics of her paddleboarding like a 40 year old mom on a retreat or some shit…

I need more crawling around on all fours…But there’s a bikini and bikinis get noticed by me..

Posted in:Lily Collins|SFW

2015

30

Jul

Kelsey and Baylee Soles are the Twin Sisters People are Excted About of the Day

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Anyone who has had a threesome will tell you “they weren’t all that hot, but there were two of them”….it takes a real lottery win, and/or a lot of money or fame, to land a threesome with two serious fucking babes…and I guess the same goes for twins….Two is better than one.

The PR team behind Soles Twins, are pushing this shit aggressively. They are all over Vogue and DailyMail, and all these other magazines, excited that there are new twins who are decent looking enough, you know in this hipster world, but more importantly, tall and skinny enough, to make it in the world of modeling…

A world, that I find cheesy as fuck, posing for the sake of posing, while everything thinks they are fucking models…and any girl, no matter what her face looks like, gets signed if she’s over 5 foot 8….

So I don’t find these girls hot, but they are getting hype, and I guess that’s enough for me to notice…but more importantly, #skinny #legs…

I don’t believe they are the next Olsens, or even the Barbie Twins, or the Budweiser Twins….But I do believe in skinny legs….I also believe that twins all fuck each other, even fraternal twins, because they have weird connections, and it’s technically masturbation…and incest…all at once..

Here’s some of there uneventful pics, making me believe, they have very expensive team pushing them because why else would I fucking know them…It’s not like I’m front row at fashion week. I don’t even get off my couch…or even browse the interent that aggressive.

Posted in:Baylee Soles|Kelsey Soles|SFW

2015

29

Jul

Gisele Bundchen Gossip of the Day

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This is pretty next level…

The story is Gisele celebrated her 35th birthday by getting new tits, or 11,000 dollars of surgeries, which isn’t the scandal, we know all these people have plastic surgery, their looks are their everything, their purpose….

It gets better…she did it while dressing like a Muslim woman in full religious burqa…because shitting on a religion to stay anonymous is genius, especially when it is for new tits….

But she did did it with her regular driver and open toed shoes….

Hilarious fail, probably to distract from Tom Brady on Facebook, or whatever else is going on….

I can assume this will lead to some retaliation, but to muslims, lingerie models are probably already all evil…as their rich oil money hire to shit on them….

Best disguise ever…especially in Paris, a place where the paparazzi are powerful enough to kill royalty..

Here’s some pics of her because why not celebrate this crazy stunt…