SFW Archives - Page 1120 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

20

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s Receding Hairline in Her Face Tuned Bikini Selfie of the Day

The fact that Lindsay Lohan was at one point a huge celebrity….

Not that she ever really did that many movies to warrant her as a huge celebrity…

But like a Kardashian, she was famous for the tabloids…and the whole thing was relatively uninteresting, but people loved it…

Just another child star, sold by her family to the entertainment industry, who got famous and self destructive, occasional lesbian, occasional cum rag, occasional weirdo in the corner of the bar talking to herself, because like so many redheads before her, she’s fucking crazy…

Boring, but throughout it all, from anorexia to chubby coke bloat, she had this fun fake tits, that I was a fan of and even friended on facebook…

But now…she’s an instagram model…

No one in the world wants anything to do with her….but shitty products will pay her 5,000 dollars a product plug…pretty sad, but not as sad as premature death, that would have possibly made her story more dramatic and inclined to become an oscar winning movie, but now is just a massive fucking fail…but at least Amanda Seyfried is there to replace her…

Either way, here’s some of her instagram, sugar baby, hustle, because she is still Lohan…a joke who I think will have the last laugh…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2015

20

Jul

Maria Sharapova Tennis Bikini of the Day

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The interesting about Tennis, at least female tennis, is that it is like listening to a sex tape. Grunts, screams, moans….all set to short skirts, panty flashes and sweaty pussy…making it one of the more interesting sports to watch, since other sports make me feel pretty gay masturbating to them….

Here’s their star in a bikini…

TO SEE THE REST OF PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Maria Sharapova|SFW

2015

20

Jul

Kendall Jenner’s Waist to Hip Ratio of the Day

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I like to celebrate waist to hip ratios….

It is the scientific study of how attractive a girl is….and without the waist to hip ratio…we’re just left in the dark as to whether we are fucking with the right girl…I mean is she at her maximum waist to hip ratio that represents femininity…or am i just some kind of closet case homo with a girl who although her big tits and round ass…don’t have that waistline that defines her as a woman…

I don’t like to celebrate anything and everything Kardashian, which I want to make clear I am not doing, I just figure it would take way too much time for me to dig through the internet to find bikini pics, I mean it’s only ever 3 out of 3.5 Instagram pics being posted….but those girls are just sugar babies and aspiring models, and I’d rather showcase someone who is neither those things, but rather someone born into the most abrasive, self promoting, exposed bullshit family that someone should kill off, but we’re not as good at the fight against evil as we were during the Witch Hunts in Salam 250 years ago…we’ve gone soft as a people…and not just because we’re over exposed to porn, making this bikini pic, that 1.5 million people already “Liked” on instagram…making me obsolete….but because we don’t kill off garbage…like we probably should..

THat said, here is what’s influencing your kids..or in my case 18 year old girls I try to date because 18 year old girls are freaks.

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2015

20

Jul

LeAnn Rimes in a Bikini of the Day

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LeAnn Rimes was in a bikini because LeAnn Rimes makes me laugh

Here’s the LeAnn Rimes you probably jerked off to – at 14 – because that’s just the kind of pervert you are…

I am not posting it for “sexual” reasons, obviously, bitch looks like some back woods coalminer in the deep apalachian mountains before her grandpappy licks her clean after a long day of working the field…

I am posting it because either 2 things happened here, the first being that she was always a sexually abused weirdo that people knew they had to market to the Jesus people as Jesus people are very committed to their own, even when they falter…giving some room to wiggle…and in LeAnn Rimes’ case that wiggle was getting breast implants to look like a Playboy chick, and use to wreck some actor’s home…

Or the fame, money and team of people got destroyed by hollywood and gave into her carnal instincts as people with money and fame tend to do to deal with fame…but also because it’s fun….

Either way, her fan base are still there for her, because she is their own, and their good country values tell them that besides the occassional half retard inbred with anger issues molesting his sister, it takes a village to raise lord’s family…as we are all god’s children…even this trick.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Leann Rimes|SFW

2015

20

Jul

Kylie Jenner VS Snapchat of the Day

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I guess Kylie Jenner wasn’t the 21 year old found dead in Demi Moore’s pool with the “assistant”…partially because Kylie Jenner isn’t 21 but also because the “assistant” excuse is the oldest excuse used by famous people ever…assistants are the paid alibis always…

But Kylie Jenner is the youngest Kardashian craving attention, possibly because her father is a now her mother, but also due to attention seeking being a family tradition….which I guess is blanket statement for everything these idiots represent…

So she’s out showing off her soon to be 18, already fucked by 25 year old black dudes with kids tits…and…I don’t care, but find it interesting to see what young people to day are into…and doing…in this case to stay relevant for million dollar endorsement deals, but representative of all these self absorbed idiots with their constant selfies…using people like Kylie as their big cleavage leaders…

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2015

17

Jul

Emily Ratajkowski’s Greasy Clown Face of the Day

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Like the rest of you, I get distracted by Emily Ratajkowski’s tits…even if I normally refer to her as “The Tits from the Blurred Lines Video”…and in getting distracted by her tits…that I am 98% sure are fake…because I saw a video of her in a car and the entire tit shook like it was one cohesive unit, rather than the jiggle of natural fat cells like natural tits…but still fantastic tits regardless of how much they cost…

I like calling her out as a talentless set of tits, because she is a talentless set of tits, and I am amazed she’s been able to take her instagram modeling so mainstream, like into movies….all because the film industry is scrambling and the sites picked up on her and they just assumed that this is what we want…

But sometimes, I get side tracked and think – “she is actually really not that bad to look at, that body alone is amazing”…you know…despite being aware of the lie that is her…I still get hazy and unclear…

But to solve that issue and to see clairity for what it is, I’ve cropped her face at events just to show how clown-like, cartoony, definitely filled it is…

Because without her tits, when she’s just a floating head…she’s really average at best, if not even weird looking..but I’d still let her sit on my face, and not in hopes of tasting Ben Affleck residue, but beccase she’s hot enough for me – even if overrated in the grand scene of things…but then again, I’ve had sex with rotting meats maybe hot enough for me – means nothing.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS INCLUDING HER BODY CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW

2015

17

Jul

Miley Cyrus Demonstrates Lesbianism of the Day

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It is safe to assume that Miley Cyrus has spent hours upon hours studying tumblr in efforts of creating her hipster identity…back when she was putting together her last tour…”This is what the kids like” mood boards at meetings where she’d say “Let’s use more emojis, people like emojis on Tumblr, I think that’s the way to go, emojis”….despite being totally disconnected, living in her own weirdo rich kid bubble, that I firmly believe is a vacuum, where no culture can penetrate through, because it’s all computer based and hired staff based and being used by everyone around you, including your parents based…..

So it would only make sense that she used tumblr to figure out this pussy eating thing, and I guess here she is demonstrating on what looks like a fruit roll-up, but that could be an edible, because she likes to medicated, and really it’s just her disgusting mouth up on some pinkish object and that should be enough for you to imagine it being the folds of a victoria’s secret model no one understands how she became a victoria’s secret model…labia…

Or you can look at Miley doing yoga…both are equally uninteresting..

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW

2015

17

Jul

Rumer Willis Booty Pop of the Day

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There have been constant debates as to whether Rumer Willis was actually human, or just a product of an STD Demi Moore had when she was first fucking bouncer turned action star Bruce Willis…it was like “no that’s gotta be a UTI”…9 months earlier…only to have this weird, fungal, even potato shaped object fall out during getting fucked while on drugs in some hollywood mansion…

But I think, Rumer Willis, is an actual human, and not just afterbirth stained on panties that grew into a human-like thing due to the right climate and moisture levels….I don’t think she’s an alien…but I do think she’s been clever enough to distract people from her Demi Moore before the Plastic Surgery face that wasn’t necessarily pretty but gave good enough head to lure in at least one dude interested in exploring Trans sex, so long as the trans had a pussy not a Bruce Jenner…it’s less gay that way…

And I’m not just saying that because her booty pop game is on point…

Fine…

Maybe I am…but that booty pop game is on point…how can you not want to bury your face in it…like you were Ashton Kutcher before the dot com billions…just stepdadding the right way..right

It is the fake face, fake booty, fake lips, injections everywhere generation…and as someone who likes a big round ass as long as it isn’t on a Kardashian…this new Rumer Willis due to strategic engineering…is a better Rumer Willis..so girls, if you’re out there, ugly and hopeless, but rich…you’ll be ok…you will get through it…and plastic surgeons will be eager to take you on as a challenge…and succeed…because you can afford them….thanks to your trust fund..

Here’s a meme she posted taht I assume hits close to home

Just yes ????????????

A video posted by Rumer Willis (@ruelarue) on Jul 17, 2015 at 7:42am PDT

Posted in:Rumer Willis|SFW

2015

17

Jul

Miranda Kerr Spread Legged in Grazia France of the DAy

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I hear if you pay Miranda Kerr 1,000,000 dollars for a night….or if you’re Justin Bieber….or if you’re a billionaire….she’ll do this pose she’s doing in Grazia France….without the white bathing suit on, but with more actual unprotected penetration…

But those are just rumors…Rumors are never real stories based on truth..

She’s a million dollar a year model, what’s she need more money, or rich dudes in exchange for penetration that makes her feel pretty for…you know like a high level sugar baby….I mean her alimony check and child support check from Orlando Bloom must be hefty enough to survive the good life, why would she want more…

Oh right, cuz she’s a vapid cunt, like so many girls who pose for photographers and who define themselves as that being their career…and not just a joke amongst friends like “I can’t beleive I get money and flown around the world to pose in my underwear…score”…

Doesn’t matter, she’s in Grazia France…spread legged….and what it comes down to – is – who fucking cares abotu Miranda Kerr….

Here’s an instagram pic she just posted..if you look close enough you can see some of the damage left from the shredding of her vagina when she had a kid for money and to increase her profile as a model…a kid I assume she’s a great, actively involved mother with..

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|SFW

2015

17

Jul

Vanessa Hudgens Looking Hot of the Day

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I knew Vanessa Hudgens mattered the second I got a lawyers letter after posting a nude selfie that they claimed was taken when she was 17, before nude selfies were that common, back when you had to negotiate hard with girls you were in long distance relationships to get before sending to your friends to show off what you fuck, even if she’s got a huge bush….

You know, when they still mattered, when they still counted for something, when they weren’t being done by every celebrity A- Z lister…and girl you know…or even walk by on the street…

Every girl has nudes…But not every girl has the confidence to leak nudes with bush….back when bush wasn’t trendy or fashionable…

What I am trying to say is that I’ve always believed in her….she’s the magical, ethnically ambiguous, Disney trained, slutty enough angel sent from heaven…

And she’s finally looking hot…which I guess is all that matters in this superficial world we live in…

So here she is looking hot..which reminds us that despite what Amy Schumer and all the other fat slob comedians, actoors, models, who are talking to fat women, because they are easy to talk to, it’s not like they are out on dates, and they are vulnerable and looking for relatable people in the media, so they talk to them, in order to get richer, are saying…

Skinny is a better look…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF HER LOOKING FIT AND HOT CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Vanessa Hudgens

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