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Archive for the SFW Category

2015

15

Jul

Jessica Simpson for Instagram of the Day

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Jessica Simpson posted this picture of herself on her instagram because trannies are all the rage..

I kind of liked her better when she was a big sloppy overeating cow of a woman, before Weight Watchers made her drop the weight or pay back the money they paid her, up on some 50 cent filing for bankruptcy to avoid paying, or hitting the gym shit…

But at least she’s still go the Jessica Simpson tits…even if they are set against thick powerful legs, narrow hips and broad shoulders…

Good times..

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Posted in:Jessica Simpson|SFW

2015

15

Jul

Zoe Kravitz in a Bikini of the Day

Zoe Kravitz is the worst. She’s just some Lisa Bonet x Lenny Kravitz, rich brat who has decided she’s a fashion model, or fashion icon, because the media wrote about how cool her style was, cuz the media loves rich kids of rockstars and light skinned bitches from the Cosby Show you may have masturabted to, like you were Bill Cosby with less Qualudes…

Lisa Bonet was the most accessible character on the show for white America to accept in that black doctor who wasn’t just called the doctor cuz he was a drug dealer…I mean not in his show…but maybe in his real life…if you consider getting girls high drug dealing…before you fuck them… and lawyer wife who wasn’t just representing herself in court in their fantasy household…not that you remember the Cosby Show. That was 30 years ago.

This is her period that never was….

The reason I kinda hate Zoe Kravitz is that when she peaked during her HARD NIPPLE PHOTOSHOOTS she blocked me on twitter and that’s just rude, a personality trait typical of cunty rich kids who have people everywhere stroking their ego cuz of who their parents are, and they hate an interent troll, when all I know is how to be an internet troll..

Here’s her 50%-ish black ass in a bikini….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Zoe Kravitz

2015

15

Jul

Kylie Minogue’s Bikini of the Day

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I don’t know if this is for a Breast Cancer campaign – since she had breast cancer – but it probably isn’t because of her ass….

Maybe it is a midlife crisis since she’s old as fuck…or if this is a program for cloning…up on some Stepford wife shit because Kylie Minogue doesn’t age…and that freaks me the fuck out…

I mean sure it’s a shitty pic, but you can still tell her ass is banging…at what must be 60…her first song was in 1988….

I am confused by the fact that Kylie Minogue still exists…but I am more confused that she turns me on…still.

TO SEE SOME OF THE PAPARAZZI PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kylie Minogue|SFW

2015

15

Jul

Hailey Cluason for Ysu Tsia of the Day

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Hailey Clauson is only an interesting story because when she was 16, she did a campaign for Urban Outfitters that her father signed off on, and was there for, and she turned around an sued the store for a lot of money and “settled”….in what I would have thought was the nail in the coffin of a career, but since she was a 16 year old girl, she was the victim, since 16 year old’s can’t be calculating psychopaths, and brands are evil…allowing her to have a career…if you think workinf or Sports Illustrated is a career, since they don’t pay..when I guess it’s really just more marketing for her…

Doesn’t matter…

What matters is that she’s in these pics to prepare all you perverts for Miami Swimweek, which in case you don’t use instagram, is where all the instagram models meet up to wear bikinis together…

Posted in:Hailey Clauson|SFW

2015

15

Jul

Jessica Alba’s “Flourish from the Inside Out” Campaign of the Day

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Jessica Alba must have a huge stake of ZICO Coconut water, or ZICO has paid her a fucking lot of money, so much that they couldn’t afford a copywriter, or designer, good photographer, or really anything other than Alba…because they are pushing these pictures as hard as they can…it’s the same shoot we saw months ago…and now there’s a shitty slogan…

“Flourish from the Inside Out”…

It sounds like something digestive, or maybe sexually, like pink on the inside, tan on the outside…..or like her cervix is flourishing with excitement ready to make another baby to spend her stupid money on….before being shat out of her to further make us hate her life choices…

I am not being paid by ZICO…so fuck them and their shitty cum tasting garbage beverage…there are better coconut waters out there…try them…

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

15

Jul

Kyle Jenner’s Gratuitous Ass Pic of the Day

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I don’t know if watching, or documenting anything Kardashian Jenner is worth doing, but it is going on in pop-culture, and I’ve decided to write about this shit everyday, for no real reason, other than it just becoming a horrible hobby….

I do know that like Sinead O’Connor, I think this novelty act family is just representative of everything wrong in society. They are pawns who have positioned themselves to just push product, like this is a marketplace and these idiots are just the most shameless, and loud…

I am confident that everything horrible, and everything great has been written about these idiots…and trying to give it more attention is a waste of time, but when a 17 year old who fucks rappers, love rappers, and thinks she’s black because she has no identity as her family abandoned her and threw money at her when they were all caught up in themselves is almost sad…

But then she jacks her shorts up her ass and gets a shot from some sleazy vantage point of her on one of their expensive cars like this is a hip hop video…that I guess she aspires to star in…and I realize that in their failures and successes…this is a win.

If you don’t like Kylie, because she’s too young and things she’s black video vixen….here’s Kendall, who thinks she’s a model..

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2015

15

Jul

Gisele Bundchen, Lindsay Vonn, Misty Copeland for Under Armor of the DAy

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Here are some relatively unimpressive, even boring pictures of Gisele, a known athlete in the sport of underwear modeling….for Under Armor…but luckily unlike other brands, Under Armor was smart enough to recruit actual athletes for the campaign, because there is nothing I hate more than seeing models model shit that doesn’t make sense for them to model, like fitness gear, even if they’ve moved away from eating disorder to boxing or a daily pilates class, and even if they are strong or fit enough to compete, they are still fucking models, so keep them posing in panties…not functional gear….

I mean there’s very little erotic in this, but why not celebrate billion dollar bands who don’t give me money like an asshole, because American loves advertising campaigns, everything is a fucking ad for something, so why not participate and not get paid because I am a Canadian and we are non confrontational like that.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|SFW

2015

15

Jul

Brooke Candy in Nylon of the Day

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There was a brief period of time when Brooke Candy was supposed to be Iggy Azalea…

She was the stripper, turned rapper, that I guess Iggy Azalea pretended she was, in order to get street credibility..

I have seen her life, accidentally, and thought “She shoulda stuck to stripping”…but then I remembered the TERRY PICS OF HER TITS and thinking how vile her big areola was…but that doesn’t matter, who cares about areola when you can pay a girl to grind up on your dick, even though it’s too late for this Brooke Candy girl, now that she’s in magazines and reclaiming what is hers, as there is only room for one stripper rapper, but it is safe to assume that if you’re rich enough, once a stripper always a stripper logic will pull money out of your mouth with her asshole….

Posted in:Brooke Candy|SFW

2015

15

Jul

Jenny from the Block’s Hard Nipples of the DAy

Where’s the fucking ass pic?

Not because I want to see Jennifer Lopez’s big ass in tight pants…you know, she’s a mom and old, and has been through a lot of different men when establishing her career…a career I was over and uninterested in when it was happening…

But I feel it is her obligation, as Jenny from the Block, you know the down to earth Puerto Rican from the Bronx who can’t speak Spanish because she’s a lie…just a pawn in a marketing campaign…to show her ass…

It is her duty…it is her life work…but I guess hard nipples are good enough, even if nothing she does is that good.

TO SEE JENNIFER LOPEZ WITH LEAH REMINI CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Lopez|SFW

2015

15

Jul

Selena Gomez Thick Leg of the Day

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Selena Gomez posted a picture of her upper thigh…and unfortunately…I can’t masturbate to it, because I am not a repressed muslim who is not exposed to the internet..Ramadan…I am not an inmate who has been in prison for a decade or more with no access to women or masturbation for fear of exciting the cellmate who’s got a little less self control when it comes to rape…but then again, maybe I’m just not into Selena Gomez subtle erotica, because I know that Selena Gomez…has more slut to give, more slut in her, and not just because she’s had Bieber in her, but because she worked for Disney and you know how those Disney execs train talent..but I’ll post the picture anyway…because why the fuck not…

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW