Gigi Hadid was on the beach…she wasn’t wearing a bikini….But her friend saved the day by having big tits and a cameltoe…
Good enough….
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Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW
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Archive for the SFW Category
2015
10
Jul
The Tits from the Blurred Lines Video in a Bikini of the Day
I would say that Emily Ratajkowski has figured out that the more bikini pics she posts to social media…the more likes she’ll get…the more relevant she’ll remain…
But as a girl who’s career is based on her getting naked in a music video, I’m pretty sure she’s realized that one…and that the last year has been her trying to figure out how to distance herself from being the naked big tits…like Kim K does with her sex tape…only with less public penetration…Emily Ratajkowski is a lady and only does that behind closed doors and her boyfriend’s back for jobs…I mean he was (rumored to be) Ben Affleck..right…that warrants a “Hall Pass”…
As you fade into obscurity…you gotta bring back what works..and it works..because she’s got a great fucking body…that you don’t deserve to be looking at…but she’s getting paid thanks to you to looking at it…so I guess you do…
All this to say…I still like looking at her….pics….she looks good….and that’s enough for me in this empty life I live…
Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW
2015
10
Jul
Natalie Portman for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day
I once wrote, but you didn’t ready, that I always laugh when I see Natalie Portman, only because she’s got so many gold stars of David next to her brandname…
The first being Jewish. Jewish guys fucking love hot Jewish girls, it gives them hope that they too will find a hot one amongst the inbred troll looking ones…since there are only so many Jewish girls around…and as we know…any culture has a limited amount of hot girls and the hot girl to troll girl ratio is never favorable….When you’re not forced to marry a Jewish girl to make your family happy, you have more options…so the hot Jewish girl’s stock is valuable..she’s in high demand…
That is why even the fattest most disgusting Jewish girl is a daddy’s girl with a bad attitude, because she knows she’ll be fine…married and mom…to a rich guy….
The second gold star of David is that she’s also done Star Wars…which is just a WTF..set for life…fanbase forever situation…
Here she is in Harper’s Bazaar…
Posted in:Natalie Portman|SFW
2015
10
Jul
Denise Richards Hooker Leg of the Day
There are a lot of rumors that Denise Richards was one of Heidi Fleiss’ escorts that Charlie Sheen hired…and even made his wife…because every escort wants to legitimize their career as escorts…by focusing on the public image of her as an “actress”…married to an “actor”…even though we know the truth…
Charlie sheen loves the dirtiest of hookers and porn chicks who do the dirtiest of things..
She is the one who tamed Charlie Sheen for the media…which means….she probably does the dirtiest of fucking things…
I don’t even care that she’s a hooker, or rumored hooker, as I know actors and models who are also hookers…as are bottle service girls, strippers and actual hookers…
People are lazy, people like nice things, people like to get paid to fuck…especially when they are fake tit, fake face, hooker-looking girls…who were married to hooker lovers…right…
Well here’s her leg, only because it’s the most powerful paparazzi pic I’ve seen in a long time…so mysterious, someone get this guy a Vogue deal, it’s better than deporting his immigrant ass…
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Posted in:Denise Richards|SFW
2015
10
Jul
Hanna Davis for SI SWIM DAILY of the DAy
I don’t know why I post these shitty pics of shitty girls for Sports Illustrated as part of their marketing campaign…
I actually hate the pictures and everything they represent…they are boring…and the girls in them aren’t real models..
They are just hookers and this is me giving them more exposure so that they can charge more by the hour…
All while not giving a fuck about these pictures or this girl…
I am not jerking off to this, and you shouldn’t be either…this isn’t what I’m into…this isn’t interesting…she doesn’t even look good..
Yet here I am…feeding into it..because I have a problem I call updating this site everyday when I should just stare at the fucking wall..it’d be more rewarding..
Garbage…
Posted in:Hannah Davis|SFW
2015
10
Jul
Petra Nemcova’s Nipple Shit Stain of the Day
The most impressive thing about this Eastern European model, is that she proves that Eastern European women are a breed of woman to fear, because even the skinny tall model version of them, can’t die in a natural disaster, when the person they were with was never to be found again…
That’s pretty impressive…and almost erotic…not her dying fiance, but a dead fiance makes a fantasy of moving in to console her before being her first post-death sex partner seem more attainable..
So here’s Petra Nemcova, Tsunami survivor…still alive many years later showing some areola…or as my weird immigrant calls it..the “shit stain” of the nipple…
Is it exciting, no…but is any of this exciting?
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Posted in:Petra Nemcova|SFW
2015
10
Jul
Britney Spears Flexibility of the Day
If you’re like me, you’ve jerked off to something yoga related at least once…
Whether it is Yoga pants and how great they make asses look…or some spiritual hippie bitch you brought home from the bar who uses yoga moves in the bedroom trying to expel your sperm out of her…because spiritual hippie bitches don’t use condoms…or razors…or maybe it was Yoga in the park show put on by new mothers or a college Yoga class trying to get some outdoor in the park air…or maybe it was just to girl on instagram showing iff their flexibility and overall health….wearing shorts…
Well now, Britney Spears and her yoga flexibility can be another one for you to get off to, if you’re into this kind of of mom of two vagina pop..which I am…because it smells like money….and cheetos…10 year old placenta, K-fed and probably like it needs a shower or two…she’s certifiable and if I’ve learned anything from medicated crazy people…it’s that vagina health is never their priority…
She’s good, even if she’s old…she still bends…and that’s how I like my puppets…
Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW
2015
10
Jul
Lara Stone Models Purses of the Day
Lara Stone is a cunt who tried to sue me for posting boring as fuck honeymoon pictures…back when she was married to a relevant comedian….at the time when she was naked all the time in her photoshoots while being a model…because that’s what models do..they are bodies that sell those bodies like hookers…because they are hookers…who eventually start a family with rich people…like TV show creators…
Not that any of that matters, but Lara Stone is still pretty fucking hot, and just because I can’t get over insignificant lawsuits that never amounted to anything, because I am insignificant in the grand scheme of things, like if you were to ask her what DrunkenStepfather.com is, she’d have no fucking idea..but I can still think she’s a cunt in this one sided relationship…a cunt I would like to wear as gas mask…in the apocalypse that is my life..
Posted in:Lara Stone|SFW
2015
10
Jul
Trashy Ariana Grande’s Apology of the DAy
Here’s Ariana Grande’s apology…”taking responsibility for her actions that she’s so disappointed in herself about because she was filmed without her knowledge and she’s young as still has a lot to learn…by her mistakes…this is going to make her a better person…we all make mistakes….I’m so embarrassed but instead of crawling under a rock I am going to use my voice…to make me more fucking money….”…
I didn’t listen to it, but I can assume it is a media trained approach written by a PR team to “right this wrong”…typical nonsense in popculture…instead of letting these people burn, we let them apologize and eveyrthing goes back to normal because no one actually cares about what she said, we’re too busy taking selfies…and she makes people too much money…so she’ll be fine, this is just “PR SPIN”…to really say it’s ok..
I am not American, but I think an American is allowed to say she hates Americans…even when selling them products…because why the fuck not, it’s the land of the free, let this brat hate on the land of the free because she is free to do so..she’s a citizen, whatever…
Just don’t make her retract her statement…because of Album sales and promoters pulling out on her…unlike all the black dudes she fucks…it’s embarrassing and annoying…they do this all the time…
Let her be herself and have an actual shitty opinion, rather than a collective un-offensive public opinion, it is refreshing that she’s a human…but her uneducated spoiled brat living the American dream as a pop star, because fame is all that really matters in America…is playing a bigger part of American culture than the average person…she’s part of their distraction tools to make you fatter and dumber…NOISE..DISTRACT…DIVIDE…CONQUER…which makes her hating America werid…
I would prefer her to stand by her statements…and let the fans boycott her instead…this attempt to rebuild, fix what she did, when it’s not what she actually thinks…is just more lies…when we want the truth…she still has a problem with the America she hates…no matter how fast she tries to back pedal cuz she sees dollars disappearing.. I hate it…if you offend people stand fucking by it…
What can’t be forgiven is that she licked that donut, making me doubt the cleanliness of donut shops and buffets everywhere…GERMS!! Disgusting…pig of a girl…
No more apologies…
Posted in:Ariana Grande|SFW
2015
10
Jul
Rachel Leigh Cook in a Bikini of the Day
Remember Rachel Leigh Cook? Either do I, but apparently one of her loyal fans does and still follower her on the internet…and apparently she’s one of these three girls..I just have no idea which one…because being the love interest in late 90s romantic comedies or teen comedies…doens’t make someone memorable to me, but in my defense, I don’t remember much about anything…it amazes me when I am out in public wearing pants or matching shoes…it happens most of the time…but every time I’m like “how did that happen”…
I guess what I am saying is that I am dead on the inside…like LeAnn Rimes…who also posted a bikini pic…and who I do remember….because she never seems to disappear…
Posted in:Rachel Leigh Cook|SFW