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Archive for the SFW Category

2017

12

Apr

Britney Spears Planking In a Bikini with Some Dance Fitness of the Day

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Britney Spears is a wonderful creature and she’s showing her age by doing a channeling a sea animal that her crazy ass probably thinks she is – because she’s crazy – or this is a little PLANK on the beach, since PLANKING was the last trend that was relevant back when Britney was allowed to use the internet…before her family…the captors who put her under conservatorship locked that out…so she can’t cry for help, but can instead fill her days training for her Vegas dance show..and sometimes, if she’s a little tired from all the sedatives and demands they have on her to be their dancing monkey….like the golden egg she is….they let her go to Hawaii….where she can play on the beach…in her bikini…but you know her handlers with their leashes and cages aren’t too far away!

That said, I know she’s doing a surf lessons, and not planking, but there’s no story in her having the independence to learn to surf, unless of course she takes that board out to the horizon and is never seen again…you know in a save yourself from the prison you live in kind of way.

I’ve seen Point Break 100 times, it’s one of my favorite movies…I know how the surf logic works….hang ten, gnarly, fucking I don’t know anything else, because I am old, like Britney….only she’s got a tight body to match her mid 30s almost 40 face…

It’s fascinating when you think about it, considering I remember jerking off to the HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME VIDEO…20 years ago…

20 fucking years ago…

Depressing…..but here are her tits in a bikini anyway…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

She posted a workout video…it was good….because working out is what keeps her bikini ready and able to dance dance dance all night making her family their “oil” or natural gas in their Louisana Swamp money that comes in the form of their hot dancing monkey near 40 year old daughter…make that money…

Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2017

12

Apr

Bella Thorne Butt Shot of the Day

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Bella Thorne posted this butt shot to let you all know that her and her Best Friend were dressed in the same style of striped pants, like they were Italian mobsters on a job, on a hit, doing a deal, or just having a meeting over some Italian coffee and a good sandwich….. only in Bella Thorne’s case her pants are tighter version of the euro track suit….but that’s only because she wants everyone to see her ass from the right angle…and if you don’t believe me, just look at her feed, or more imporantly, look at how she’s in this weird half squat on her tippy toes to get that perfect moment in her ass history….

I’d like to see the 200 pics they took before capturing this one…in this contrived staged bullshit world we live in…no good because vain cunts are annoying .but so good…on all othe levels besides vain cunts being annoying…like young ass in tight pants…

Here she is in Harper’s Bazaar…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2017

12

Apr

Arianny Celeste Cooking Breakfast Video of the Day

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Arianny Celeste posted this video of her cooking in her underewear, because that’s what whores do for breakfast, the get into their underwear and dance and cool like an idiot, to try to distract from the fact that they are in their underwear, because they know that no one would pay attention to them if they weren’t in their underwear, but they don’t want to seem shameless, so they try to offer VALUE…and meaning to their content…like making eggs….

Her whole career has been an interesting, but barely interesting polarization of a whore, who got to work in the UFC which is a huge brand, and now she’s scrambling in her 30s to figure out what’s next….

How can she be a Sara Underwood, or a Brooke Burke, or a Pam Anderson…to take her fake tits and fit enough body, along with her newly jacked up to the next level…what brands will sponsor her, what dudes will care to still follower, it’s always hard being a cheesy played out bitch….I would know…..

Posted in:Arianny Celeste|SFW

2017

11

Apr

Stella Maxwell and Kristen Stewart – Lesbian Couple of the Day

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In very important Lesbian news. Stella Maxwell, the Victoria’s Secret and lesbian for hire, to live out all the lesbian fantasies, for A-listers who want to experience eating pussy, as that is a huge part of how she got to this level of success…was seen out with Kristen Stewart her new lesbian lover, after banging through a bunch of other people, because that’s good for business, and good for the lebsian celebrities who want some Anne Heche hotness instead of some Rosie O’Donnell reality of being a lesbian…so that they can be all cute and shit….in shorts….despite not taking cock the way a woman should…

I blame overpopulation and our species internal dialog to no reproduce for all that is going on, vapid vain weirdos, same sex fuckers, women in the work force instead of the delivery room…and I am all for it…

I am just bummed this isn’t the lesbian sex tape, you see I never liked Kristen Stewart or her broken soul and bad acting, but when she’s the ugly lesbian in the relationship with the opportunist model, I think she’s great….perfect really…because I know lesbians, most hate me, and all are monsters…

Let’s keep same sex girl on girl love like this Hollywood version, fetishisized version on girl on girl…seriously…

TO SEE KRISTEN STEWART NUDE IN SOME MOVIE CALLED PERSONAL SHOPPER CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kristen Stewart|SFW|Stella Maxwell

2017

11

Apr

Diora Baird Big Tits in a Bikini by the Pool of the Day

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Plus sized Diora Baird eating some snack foods that she should be eating by the pool – because she’s Plus Sized…is a magical thing if you take her like you should take every fat chick….for her tits…

The interesting thing in this is that despite the really large hips, her tits carry her forward and her neck and face don’t look like she’s got Sleep Apnea…or like she’s dead….maybe her illumunati tattoo has something to do with it…

I don’t know wht movies she’s been in, I was thinking Baywatch…but I’m too lazy too google and I don’t think she is that old..but her tits making everything else about her irrlevant…

Big ol’ tatters…not TATERS…cuz if they were taters this bitch would have eaten them all…

Posted in:Diora Baird|SFW

2017

11

Apr

Lily Beckinsale in a Bikini of the Day

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Kate Beckinsale is a mom…. despite the fact that she doesn’t age and is pretty fucking hot like the Vampire you’d expect her to be, since the only movie she’s done is some Vampire bullshit that nerds fucking love…..

This is her college aged, college accepted, going into her first year of college daughter they call Lily Beckinsale…because I guess the dad doesn’t deserve his name branded on it…ad who really wants to be Michael Sheens’….other than Sarah Silverman…but she’s a monster…how do you go from kate Beckinsale to that…talk about failure moves…

Either way, she’s 18….so …its’ ok to look…

Posted in:Lily Beckinsale|SFW

2017

11

Apr

Jordana Brewster is Skinny in a Bikini of the Day

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Jordana Brewster is skinny…and I like it….more girls should starve themselves especially in this body positive era. Skinny is more rare, more premium, more erotic….

Jordana Brewster was a teen soap star in the 90s, which means at least one of you jerked off to her when you called in sick, took the day off school, or was on disability because you’re a retard…and soap opera’s were your porn…it was 1995…and dial-up internet was annoying with the slow loading pictures and no videos…

Since then she’s turned 37…

She’s best known for being in every Fast & Furious movie…I’ve never seen any, but I know people, usually the worst fucking people love those movies, and when they take a minute away from jerking off to PAUL WALKER and VIN DIESEL…this pussy makes the experience more hetero…like the time I found out someone I know gave Vin a blowjob, a girl, which debunked all the gay assumptions I hate about it…straight for PAY…cuz you can’t be a terrible acting action star who makes billions if you’re an out of the closet homo..all the jacked up steroid frat boys who love him would be confused….

This isn’t about them..it’s about an old lady like Jordana Brewster…surviving, thriving,striving, in a bikini to help promote their new installment….

I call this – not quite menopausal, at her sexual prime, but probably not getting her period thanks to starvation…which means no unwanted pregancy, not that you can relate to that. Your dream is to have a woman let you knock her up so that you have something more than your empty life and so that you are never alone. HOT.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jordana Brewster|SFW

2017

11

Apr

More Menopausal Cindy Crawford in a Bikini of the Day

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Menopause is a lovely thing…..because the sex drive goes up, the pregnancy rate goes down to zero, the vagina dries up so you feel the friction, and if you can see past the melting skin….and the boxy hips….and a barrel looking body….and close your eyes and imagine she was Cindy Crawford of the past…or look at her young daughter she’s been exploiting in her bikini and mental image that shit for the spank bank / it’s good for your focus, imagination and creativity…it is how I fight alzheimers or becoming a complacent weirdo who just stares and content fed to me….

I know it’s what the Husband does….if his sperm made her…it can come to her…I mean that’s all speculation and what I would do if I was in his place…rich people…you know….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|SFW

2017

11

Apr

Madonna’s Daughter is Not That Hot But She’s Alright in a Bikini of the Day

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Lourdes Leon – MADONNA’s daughter…struggling with the rough life of having everything you want – while wearing a bikini in Miami…

She’s probably all kinds of fucked in the head…or maybe she’s been raised totally normal and removed from the Spotlight – and has no idea her mom is Madonna….

From my expert opinion…She’s a little too latin peasant looking – mixed with some dirty Italian widow working the market with her moustache – like the worst parts of two parts of the world….where she’s got some pretty bad traits from both species of human – but at least she’s not fat.

I like her MOM knuckle tattoo – because MOM’s crazy money will allow her to be all creative and not need to work a job…..so that tattoo, that would be frowned upon for the rest of the world, unless you work at some hipster cafe or bar, is perfectly fine for her…because she’s Madonna’s daughter…the spawn of the narcissist…who will inherit all the narcissist has…and who gets to live of it while she’s alive…because celebrities are known for being great parents who raise great kids…

TRUST FUND. Nothing wrong with a Trust fund, even if girl doesn’t do anything substantial with it….

Her tits look good though.

I like hairy bitches, but her hairy pits and hairy stomach don’t really make sense with a stubbly shaved pussy…it’s like choose your battle and own it you flimsy detached delusional rich kid….I love bush, she’s a hairy little monster and probably has bush, but not the kind of bush I need….sticking out of every angle of her bikini bottoms…if you’re going to exploit your hairy Italian monkey genes…do it where it matters…CUNT SIDE…that’s like courtside….the place to be…but in reference to CUNT…clever right….sure I see her treasure trail…like the rodent she is…but pussy hair is the hair we can’t have an abundance of….fake feminist.

Her ass looks alright though…

I guess she’s not that bad, I just find her being a product of Madonna something annoying….and sure it’s not her fault, don’t target the celeb child, but the celeb child is the one posing for the paparazzi…

SHE wants this….all of this…it gives her something to do, her own identity…but not really…she can’t escape Madonna…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lourdes Leon|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Liz Hurley Running in Slow Motion on the Beach of the Day

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It’s Passover Monday – which is a very important day if you are Jewish….at least I assume it is, as I am not Jewish and don’t know anything about this stuff, other than that I saw a lot of seemingly Jewish girls in tight hot shorts because it was the first hot day of the year and Canadians go nuts over that shit and strip the fuck down….

I didn’t see any bikinis, but seeing some winter weight in shorts…..is juicy…not that Jewish girls do winter weight, they do Pilates and Yoga and have the best trainers, unless they are the homely ones…..

Good thing I was in my soiled sweatpants I always wear…they hide my boners…even though sweatpants generally do the opposite for boners…thanks to barely having a boner…I blame obesity – but who knows…

The real miracle is that I still want to fuck old Liz Hurley in her bikini for her bikini business because I guess that’s what she’s about. It’s how she made it in Hollywood/ America and with Really rich dudes…

Posted in:Liz Hurley|SFW