SFW Archives - Page 834 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the SFW Category

2016

Aug

Jessica Simpson in a Bikini for Women’s Health of the Day

Jessica Simpson is as half naked as you’d probably want her to be in some Women’s Health magazine, she’s the kind of mom you’d rather not look at pics of to jerk off, there are young girls for that, but more the kind of mom who you’d love to bang – because she’s Jessica Simpson…

I guess her PR people wanted to reaffirm the fact that she’s no longer 300 pounds, maybe it’s to get final payment from Weight Watchers who paid her millions to drop weight, but instead she gaind the weight…maybe this is a coming of age story that you don’t need to be an obese pig with all your baby weight you gained because the baby was a good excuse to gain weight….you know a story of it’s never too late to stop eating BBQ and CAKE and to start walking on the damn treadmill…

She’s the representation of the middle American – southern dream – they even wear her products and she’s skinnier than most of them, so by comparison maybe this is as healthy as she gets….and that’s healthy enough…but I’d rather there be more emphasis on them tits…the only thing that matters…

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|SFW

2016

Aug

Kate Beckinsale Ass on Set of New Underworld Movie of the Day

No Comments »

I was friends with a nerd a long time ago…not good friends but it was in the era of nerds becoming cool and I was hanging with him before that happened….he went onto ripping of DrunkenStepfather and starting another celebrity blog that he made millions on and sold for millions and is probably still a fucking socially awkward freak but with lots of money that we can only hope has got his weirdness laid…

Well, it was the DVD era, when people bought DVDs and he would go to the shop every Tuesday to get the latest releases…I made the mistake of going with him once…it was the special edition release of Underworld, he already had the original release in multiple copies, and motherfucker spent 40 minutes going through each and every one on display to pick out two, one to watch and one to store and whenever I post on the amazingly aged Kate Beckinsale – I think of that guy and his relationship with Kate Beckinsale….which was clearly very fucking unhealthy…and I guess when you don’t fuck real girls, and Kate Beckinsale looks the way she does it’s almost justified, creepy but justified…to people who over rationalize their obsessive compulsiveness…

This is how you all feel about this…

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|SFW

2016

Aug

Cara Delevingne and Margot Robbie in Love Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

This is the fucking worst…These are two of the most overrated cunts in entertainment…and they are dressed like another overrated cunt in entertainment…

Suicide Squad is in theaters, it will make a fucking ton of money, but the initial reviews is that it’s dog shit, that it was better off as a trailer and investing in the whole movie was just idiotic, not that the producers care, they’ve already made their money back – and will be making sequels – they know people will still go – even if it’s just a pile of shit with top paid actors getting paid top dollar….that is just the world we live in…

Movies are competing with instagram, internet, snapchat…no one wants to go to the movies to pay money when they can get shit for free at home and not be shot…plus porn ends in orgasm…going to the movies just ends with “why do I bother going to movies”….

I don’t know if there’s salvation for movies, will theatres survive, I’m thinking no…I’m hoping no, because Hollywood is filled with cunts – who self destructed due to greed with heads up their asses unable to realize where things were shifting….

Point being, Cara Delevingne is in the movie, Margot Robbie is the star of the movie, and Love Magazine is latching like an orphan Indian baby on a dog in the bombay slums for any nutrients possible…trying to survive…because featuring these overrated twats makes their account more worthy…

TO SEE THEM LEAVING THE HOTEL TOGETHER LIKE A COUPLE LESBIANS WHO ARE AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD>.. CLICK HERE

Or here’s some Margot Robbie nipple…

Posted in:Cara Delevingne|Margot Robbie|SFW

2016

Aug

Em Rat Cow – Still Busty of the Day

No Comments »

Em Rat Cow’s still got tits, they are actually running the fucking show, they are the ones in charge, they are the boss, you can tell by how she dresses and how they make an appearance in 99 percent of the things she does…the rest of her is just an average at best, but at least it’s not fat, host body for those tits…

I am a firm believer that Em Rat Cow is done, I know she’s got some new movies in the works on IMDB, and I know she’s got that massive social media following and will always be able to monetize that, because people don’t just mass unfollow people, proven by the Kadashians everyone fucking hates…

So Em Rat Cow will be around for the rest of her life, but I just don’t think she’ll ever matter much more than the tits…the glorious tits…they are great tits…and you can hate on her, laugh at her, realize she’s an insecure loser who needs to feel validated…but you can’t deny the tits.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS – IF YOU ACTUALLY CARE CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW

2016

Aug

Kate Bosworth Nipples of the DAy

No Comments »

I just saw that Kate Bosworth was in Montreal the other day – and I stupidly didn’t know this before she was here – and I didn’t go profess my love for her by throwing my semen at her – before getting arrested because semen is a controlled substance that you’re not legally allowed to throw at people – even if you’ve been saving it up in a jar next to your bed since you first saw Kate Bosworth in whatever it is she was first in….only to have her drop charges after tasting it and realizing it’s sugary goodness…making her addicted to my sperm and hiring me as her sperm factory she locks in her pool house making her a shot a day….because that’s the kind of fantasy I have…

I like that she’s skinny, I like her legs, her face, she is what all girls should look like, so if I ever made billions and could build a woman producing lab in my basement…we’d factor in a little bit of this in the design…

She’s old and still looks like this…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS

Posted in:Kate Bosworth|SFW

2016

Aug

Kendall Jenner’s Garbage Bikini Selfie of the Day

No Comments »

Kendall Jenner is garbage, like her dad’s dick that he’s announced he is chopping off for his gender reassignment surgery – he’s committed to getting done in September – because he’s tired of being called a fair weather tranny, or a cross dresser and wants the real female experience, where his dick is slit into some kind of orifice, where his dick head is made into a clit that still shoots loads since they don’t remove the prostate – making his woman experience very different than any female I’ve experienced, but close enough, a parody of a woman maybe…but let him play make-belief while everyone buys into his nonsense, gives him support, because that’s politically correct to not mock trannies – even when they are cut from a terrible, the worst, family cloth…..but making fun of their vapid, barely hot – but skinny “model” daughter who can push product….is ok….

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2016

Aug

Chanel Iman Gets Down for Cropover Barbados of the Day

No Comments »

I guess Rihanna was out in Canada for Drake’s music festival, so she had to get a stand in to be her during Bajan Caribanna – that they call CROPOVER and hot girls get dressed half naked and dance around like vegas show girls – a reminder that not all cultural experiences are things you can’t jerk off to….but as someone who has been to Barbados knows – none of the local hookers look anything like this – they aren’t Victoria’s Secret models, but rather obese…unless you get them like Rihanna’s owner who recruiter her off the island at 14….before they make 10 babies by 18 and fall apart…

Posted in:Chanel Iman|SFW

2016

Aug

Mischa Barton Bikini Showering of the Day

No Comments »

es I prefer…

Mischa Barton was a girl who didn’t shower for a long time – she was all greasy and fat and disgusting. She looked like she smelled, was half dead or dying, and throughout those years of her self destruction – I still would have had unprotected sex with her using my tongue…I didn’t care the outcome, she was Mischa Barton and thus lovely…

Well, she got her life together, rehab maybe, dancing with the stars whipped her into shape, even if it was actually a sign that she was dead, suicide had happened, acting career over at 32…or however old she is….

And now…she gets to post bikini pics, proving she showers, that once cured of addiction, showers happen, but more importantly proving she’s not fat and sloppy, and proving tI was right all along in thinking I want to tongue her ass…because I want to tongue her ass…even if it tastes more like soap…that rotting flesh and fec

Posted in:Mischa Barton|SFW

2016

Aug

The Girl Who Falls on her Face to Become an Instagram Model of the Day

No Comments »

I find this Paige chick interesting for two reasons – besides half her pics being her in her bikini showing off her ass like an average at best Instagram whore who wants to be an Instagram whore and who found an angle to be an Instagram whore and that angle is to mock being an Instagram whore whole being an Instagram whore. It’s some inception shit….but I like that she displays how basic a concept you need to get seen – falling all over the place aggressively so it counts – and I like that she’s not taking herself too seriously, even though we know putting this together was serious and she works it serious in a calculated way and I like that she’ll probably end up in movies all because of this stupid elementary school prank. It worked for Jimmy Fallon – his existence is elementary school bullshit because ultimately people are fucking retards… On both ends of the spectrum…the shitty content producers – the others…following and believing this shit…

Some Other Fall..

In and Out…

Yoga in Public

Some other Video…

That’s enough of that…

Posted in:Paige Ginn|SFW|Videos

2016

Aug

Malia Obama Twerking at Lollapalooza of the Day

No Comments »

Finally Free to be an Normal Thirsty – THOT, THIRSTY, RATCHET…call it whatever you want – I call it amazing….girl….she turned 18 a month ago..

The President’s daughter has been on pretty good behavior all these years and she can now do what her generation is interested and excited by – and that’s whoring for social media…to get a branded sponsored life…before landing a rich guy who likes you as arm candy and will take you on his yacht parties and all you have to do is fuck him – like you’d totally fuck without all those things…just not THAT guy….you call daddy….

We all know she doesn’t need to be an instagram whore, we know she could get all kinds of reality show deals just being who she is. We know she can get following with her name and there is no need to act like all the other girls, pretending to be a model, doing photoshoots that mean nothing, eventually becoming a Jenner – they eat up everyone – those demons….but in the meantime she’s just twerking with friends like a normal young, hot girl, who’s ass is hanging out at a music festival…where there are thousands of other hot young girls doing the same fucking thing…because it’s fun..

Her parents are brilliant, accomplished, and rich but that doesn’t mean they are boring or that they don’t let their kid be a kid and do kid things like twerk at Lollapalooza…or that all the other whores on instagram don’t have good parents. The social pressure is just too strong. Rap music is just too consuming. You can’t fight it. You must run with it – all with a “who gives a fuck” attitude…like she was Miley or something equally vanilla trying to be bad…..

I think this video is amazing, but then again, if it was Chelsea Clinton, mom of 2 and her doughy face doing this, I would still think it was amazing.

Obviously for different reasons – Malia turned 18 a month ago…18 a month ago….(that was my trump impression) and young hot girls – especially when the ass is shaking and hanging out is great….

You republicans who fuck your sisters when they are underage, or little boys who work at your evangelical church can hate all you want, hate on hotness, hate the good times and the fun, you racists don’t get what living is…or what pop culture is…go on instagram…all these 18 year old girls are naked….this is what they are into and what they do…they were raised on porn and trash it’s amazing they aren’t masturbating and having gangbangs in public all day….but instead you can go celebrate some whore fucker like TRUMP who can’t even formulate a thought or sentence…and either can I…

I guess what I am saying is – MALIA for President…

Here’s another one…

Posted in:Malia Obama|SFW