SFW Archives - Page 915 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

13

Apr

Hailee Steinfeld Pants for the Nerds of the Day

Hailee Steinfeld is a big…in fame and physical size… actress who turned popstar who sings about masturbating, because all these self involved freaks love themselves so much they think they can do anything, all thanks to their parents over inflating their egos with affirmations….conditioning them to be child stars that they masturbate watching themselves in the mirror…it’s the hottest shit to them…

While the hottest shit to you was Hailee Steinfeld because she was underage for the bulk of her career and America sexualizes underage girls by telling you you can’t fuck them…something you freaks can’t handle…so when you see her in bikinis and fame whoring you are forced to jerk off to her…GOOD FOR BUSINESS…you’re sad and lonely…and that makes some people rich and famous! Life as a loser…

I don’t know who told her to wear these tacky trailer park mom in the 90s who was a hooker at night, but it was a comicbook convention and you know the audience of that would die seeing this…GOOD FOR BUSINESS….nerds ruin everything…unless these pants are a good thing…I can’t tell because I don’t see LABIA…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hailee Steinfeld|SFW

2016

13

Apr

Gisele Photoshopped for Some Brand of the Day

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Gisele is in some hosiery for some campaign – where they lit her and photoshopped her aggressively enough to make her look like she’s not in her mid 30s, washed up, FOOTBALL wife who has rumored to be a tranny and not an actual mom because Tranny’s don’t have UTERUS they have prosthetic pregnancy movie magic because she has a brand and a contract to Victoria’s Secret to protect…or did have that…before moving onto better things like gold digging…even though she’s rich as fuck…

I guess what I am saying is that tranny from Brazil, who are hotter than regular girls in Brazil, because they are taller and leaner are actually good hires for Lingerie companies, as long as the girl doesn’t get an erection due to the sexy feel of the thong…because Tranny don’t get period and like strippers, periods fuck up modeling THUS tranny can work any day of the week they are needed…

Posted in:Gisele|SFW

2016

13

Apr

Miranda Kerr for China to Get Billionaires of the Day

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Miranda Kerr was fired from Victoria’s Secret for having sex with Justin Bieber….I had the exclusive thanks to her management hating her and talking shit on her a few weeks after it happened but it only came out over a year after it happened…I am so current…

That said, Miranda Kerr was fired from Victoria’s Secret for having sex with Justin Bieber…while married and a mom of a kid she probably never sees because Miranda Kerr is Australian and Australians like to get drunk and be crazy…but that’s not very Mall Brand Sweatshop Made Overpriced Panties to Afford all those MALL LOCATIONS friendly…

So she was left scared and alone, to fend for herself with a lot of money, a hot model body, while her husband ran off with a bunch of dudes, before settling with Katy Perry, while she ran off with a bunch of billionaires, forcing her to go out there and find new brand deals..and magazines to feature her, because billionaires don’t like gold digging hookers unless they are working or published in the media…

Her current billionaire is the SNAPCHAT guy who created SNAPCHAT to get girls to send him NUDES with confidence..and who probably has image recognition software that sends every nude private snapchat across his network to his inbox….but there were other billionaires, two who even had a fist fight over her, one who is now with Mariah Carrey and the whole thing is so ridiculous, considering there are a million Miranda Kerrs out there to fuck…who are still working for the mall brands…just ask LEO…

This is her doing media to stay relevant, her tits look bigger, her hips look bigger, and I think it’s probably her best work, other than trying to get knocked up with BILLIONAIRE baby, it’s the actual retirement plan, she just needs to time it so that the kid is born when the first one turns 15, so she maximizes child support into her 50s…all this other photoshoot shit is just nonsense…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|SFW

2016

13

Apr

Bella Hadid for Glamour Germany of the Day

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Bella Hadid is the Bootleg Hadid sister, with bootleg plastic surgery tits, in bootleg Glamour magazine for Bootleg Germany, because she’s Bootleg…at least in the grand scheme of things…but to a whole other group of rich kids, she and her sister are EVERYTHING…they are everything they would want to spend their dad’s money on…photoshoots with big photographers, attending all the big events, hanging with the big agencies who used to pimp your gold digging mother…you know idols to a generation of vapid and useless cunts…

I am not mad at the Hadids or their existence. It’s not like they tried to suicide bomb my local grocery store when I was hitting on single sad women buying 3 bananas…

I just think taking opportunity, all the opportunity in the world because you have a rich as fuck dad, and turning it into high school drop out who gets half naked in fashion magazines that only cast you because they like the instagram clicks they get on your page your team created for you in trying to make you the half arab Kardashians…is a fucking waste…

So when I look at an average looking, but skinny, girl like Bella Hadid celebrated for basically being the useless sister of a useless rich girl who is trendy….getting jobs for that reason alone…not all that hot…I just hope the world turns on them, leading to desperation, drug addiction, sex tapes, suicides, etc…because at least there will be more substance to what these girls do.

Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2016

13

Apr

Gwyneth Paltrow for SELF Magazine of the Day

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Gwyneth Paltrow is perfect for SELF magazine, because this bitch is always talking about her self, she’s so fucking into herself, she’s even started a “lifestyle blog” about herself, because when you’re rich and spoiled, raised rich and connected in Hollywood….where everyone is all about themselves, it is pretty hard to not be about your self….

All these SELF and Shape magazines do the cheesiest, photoshopped, garbage shoots, so we can assume old, yet well fed and rested mom, because how could someone so into themselves not take care of themselves into their 40s, the cock and coke was more of a teens and 20s thing…

I am not into Gwyneth Paltrow, I never liked her in any of her movies, except Royal Tennenbaums, which I guess is when she peaked…but these pictures from a magazine you know she talked about herself, where there are probably some ridiculous quotes that I refuse to read is up there with being pure FICTION…..

As you all know, she’s the worst, but I’ll still post the sports bra…

Posted in:gwyneth paltrow|SFW

2016

12

Apr

Natalie Imbruglia VS Izabel Goulart Bikini Contest of the Day

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How about a little bikini contest…

Natalie Imbruglia is not lying naked on the floor…she’s 41 years old and has been fucked by David Schwimmer, which is terrifying, but he’s rich…I don’t remember ever fantasizing about her laying naked on the floor song, but at 41…she’s looking pretty fucking awesome, probably because she moved to the UK from Australia before drying up into some shrivelled raisin from the sun….and her body is probably from choosing not to have kids…always the right choice..

CLICK TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF IMBRUGLIA

VS

Versus Izabel Goulart is ripped…she’s a fitness pornographer, Victoria’s Secret fashion show model, based in Brazil and has a fucking ridiculous low fat percentage….thanks to fitness everyday…these pics are impressive, but she’s a bikini model, so she’s got a higher standard to uphold…of course she looks fit and thin in a bikini – she makes 1,000,000 a year doing this…..

CLICK TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF GOULARt

HONORABLE MENTION BUT NO LONGER IN THE SAME LEAGUE – HEIDI KLUM:

AND THE WINNER IS…..LYING NAKED ON THE FLOOR…

Imbruglia…because she’s older, not a bikini model, and her clit isn’t pulsating like an erection from all the testosterone in her veins…

Posted in:Izabel Goulart|Natalie Imbruglia|SFW

2016

12

Apr

Kristen Stewart’s Lesbian for Chanel Erotica of the Day

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Kristen Stewart is boring….she can channel her inner Parisian hooker from the 20s all she wants…showing some hosiery with her shirt undone…like she’s just been paid to do some striptease…while she’s actually just been paid by a brand, probably 4-5 million dollars…to be their spokesperson thanks to having a strong team pushing her “celebrity”…aggressively to the ad agency, when the truth is she influences zero people on fashion, trends or anything, except maybe the freakish lesbian she’s dating…but that’s probably just because the Lesbian can’t K-Fed her with an accidental knock up – or Megan Fox her with an accidental knock up to establish a future together…their lesbian baby requires science labs and shit….

BONUS – SEE LESBIAN GENDER BENDER KRISTEN STEWART WITH A DICK IN HER JEANS

CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kristen Stewart|SFW

2016

12

Apr

Lindsay Lohan is Engaged and Bella Thorne has a Sun Burn of the Day

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I know that no one cares about anything Lindsay Lohan, she’s so done, expired, useless, irrelevant, still famous and people will still suck up to her, but nothing she does is of real interest, nothing even when she goes out and gets engaged no one cares, 80 percent of people just assume she’s dead….or prostituting herself to someone who thinks it’s cool that they are fucking Lindsay Lohan, knowing how many famous and rich cock that has been in her…it’s like that pussy is the whos who of the early 2000s Hollywood…

I am probably one of 50 people who still care about Lohan, including her immediate family, but then again, they never cared about her…but I don’t really care to see her face that she’s mangled, at 30 or near 30 or older than 30…..it takes away from what was…

So to celebrate Lohan, her engagement, I’d rather focus on a topless, recently sunburnt, snap chatting redhead who is everything Lohan wanted to be, including but not limited to 18 years old…Bella Thorne…because we’re in an era where Bella Throne’s sunburn is a bigger deal than Lohan’s engagement to some rich dude from Russia, 10 years behind on the trends…

But if you’re more into expired milk, knowing it will one day turn into cheese, here’s Lohan this past weekend NIPPPLES IN A SEE THROUGH DRESS

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

12

Apr

Vanessa Hudgens and Her Sister in a Weird BIKINI Photoshoot of the Day

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Vanessa Hudgens is looking good. She’s been pretty pudgy her entire career, you know like a little hairy monkey, getting the nickname Pudgens from people like me, who are so obvious in our humor, calling chubby girls my Thinspiration, and other great fat jokes I’ve been saving in my catalog since the first grade…

I guess her live theater acting forces her to actually stay away from the craft services and burn all kinds of calories…because she’s on Broadway, you know a musical theater star, like some kind of faggot, who may or may not be into anal, but based on my experience is probably into anal, girls fucking love anal….

But who I do know is into nude selfies, because her lawyers have reached out to me not once but TWICE, on two different nude selfie occasions, one younger and hairier than the other, and since that happened…I’ve been a fan…

She’s in Miami, owning her new body, and I’m into it….bikinis with her busty sister…is great sister fetish erotica for the day…

Here are some videos:

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Vanessa Hudgens

2016

12

Apr

Taylor Swift Hot Ass of the Day

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My favorite thing about Taylor Swift is that the cock who has rumored to have knocked her up like she Megan Fox for the Third Time with David from 90210 to trap him and save their family or some shit…by the same cock that has fucked Rita Ora and probably a handful of a lot of groupie bitches while living the superstar DJ life….a dick that is probably less traveled than Taylor Swift’s vagina, she’s fucked everyone but markets it like it’s a broken hearted failed relationship…poor Taylor Swift…dirty genitals…

I actually don’t like anything about the probably pregnant Taylor Swift…not even her her flat as fuck and we know how flat fucks are… ass…

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift