SFW Archives - Page 925 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

29

Mar

Anna Faris in a Bikini of the Day

Anna Faris is a lot of fun…she’s been married to the very famous Chris Pratt for a long time, she’s pushing 40 years old, but her body is rockin’ and she’s never offended me in her fame whoring, or celebrity. In fact in all her movies, from The House Bunny to The Hot Chick to Just Friends…she’s consistently done what she was supposed to do…

Maybe I haven’t spent enough time paying attention to this B-List at best actor, to really hate her and everything she does. I haven’t even checked her social media to really get aa sense of how horrible she is, but based on her fitness in a bikini…in these pics..she’s good…and I normally hate old girls, they die at 30 for me…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Anna Faris|SFW

2016

29

Mar

Kendall Jenner and her Groupie Park in Handicapped Spots of the Day

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I am not the kind of person who really cares about policing handicapped parking, but I still never park in handicapped parking, even though it’s convenient as fuck. I am the kind of guy who tries to convince anyone I know with an injury to get a Handicapped parking sign that we can color photocopy and put in all our cars so we will get the VIP parking people who can’t walk due to disease or injury, but more importantly Kendall Jenner and her groupie deserve….

You see, when you’re a self involved spoiled cunt, who thinks she’s too busy in life to waste driving around in circles looking for parking, especially when you’ve hired the paparazzi to come shoot you walk into Yoga because you’re doing a campaign for a fitness brand, and part of the millions, include an instagram pic and being seen by the paparazzi in it…

She could argue that she’s so famous that if she was walking a block or two, or paying the meter, she’d be ransacked…and give her a break, her mother is her pimp and her dad turned himself into her mom…she’s not from a well rounded place.

I would argue, that despite all that is working against her in her life of luxury, she’s a fucking cunt, overrated, not a model, and just a product pushing puppet on some AVON lady level being used by brands to increase sales…and not being used by brands because they think she has anything to offer…

The reality is, she’s the kind of girl who is so into herself, absorbed in her entitlement that she’d probably fight an actual handicapped person to get the spot…

Garbage, and she’s not even hot…and either is her groupie…the Baldwin shadow who follows her everywhere….

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2016

29

Mar

Christina Milian’s an Exhibitionist of the Day

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Love the “Believe” tattoo..I think it’s an inspirational quote worthy of being printed on wall art to hang in the living room of your housing project home, and/or Trailer Park Home…it’s just that classy…

I don’t care about Christina Milian or her attempt to take on social media, because she’s empty and feels like this is easy for her to take on, because you don’t even need to suck dick to make it happen, and suck dick she’s done, she’s even had a kid with famous producers to secure the good life…leaving her all the time in the world to roll around half naked on snapchat for her fans jerking off to her…it makes her feel like she’s still got it, even if she’s insignificant and all I know is that this is leading a great example for the kids…

This is a mom…with a hit song…and a job on TV…

Posted in:Christina Milian|SFW

2016

29

Mar

Melissa Joan Hart in a Red Bathing Suit of the Day

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Melissa Joan Hart posted a picture of her in a red bathing suit…

Melissa Joan Hart is old as fuck, and apparently she’s doing this to celebrate her weight loss…but you wouldn’t know that, because no one follows Melissa Joan Hart…

I would argue that even when she was on TGIF programming on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, a show we can assume NETFLIX is bringing back, I preferred her Aunts, even the fat one to Melissa Joan Hart….the teen…VERY UNLIKE ME…but a testament of just how hot she was…or I guess wasn’t…

I mean even the puppet cat on the show was probably what I’d choose to fuck if it came down to the two of them….

So seeing her in a bathing suit now…does ZERO for me, but I assume you weirdos were into her, because you’re old dudes who visit blogs like this…which isn’t normal…you’re not normal…this isn’t NORMAL…why are we doing it..

Posted in:Melissa Joan Hart|SFW

2016

29

Mar

Ashley Benson Tries to Get Fit of the Day

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Ashley Benson is everyones third favorite short legged, wide-hipped actress, who is extremely famous from being on a very popular show people watch religiously, called Pretty Little Liars, but that Ashley Benson calls her Lottery win, because it has set her up for life…assuming she’s not a vapid cunt who expects things to just happen for her because she’s Ashley Benson, which is probably the case, since all these girls are fucking brats…

Well, I’ve been calling her out for being on the cusp of hot, busty yes, but sloppy….saying with her money and the studio that produces the hit show money…she has no excuse to not be served or monitored by the team of nutritionists and trainers…there is no reason why she is banned from the craft services table, or that on her breaks she does squats versus watching snapchats…

Because she was not that fat, but just fat enough for me to say “she’s fat for Hollywood”…would take 2 weeks of starving herself to fix, and once fixed, she’ll book bigger things.

I am only trying to help, and I guess I’ve done my part because someone in her team is making her go to the gym, and she’s already looking better, she’s got a neck/chin, a thigh gap starting…things are lookin’ up this spring morning…

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2016

29

Mar

Jessica Alba’s Feet for the Foot Fetishists of the Day

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Jessica Alba may brand herself as “honest”, but the truth is she doesn’t brand herself anything, she’s got a team of people who have been running the show, and who have given her the right advice along the way so that she never got naked and ended up in porn where she probably at her core would have ended up, but luckily people needed the hot girl with average talent in average movies people would see, back when people went to movies…only to leverage that celebrity – after trapping her man with kids – into a productline for moms that pretends to be “healthy” or “organic”..or “all natural”…but arent…

Kinda like Jessica Alba….

Now she posted her feet on snapchat, because she knows the freaks and creeps are out there…she feeds into them…in a way where she pretends she isn’t, you know a little “here’s some jerk off material”…with more of a wink than actual words…

I’m onto you billionare Jessica Alba…..

Bonus – here’s some Jessica Alba Tit Sweat…

TO SEE HER IN HER BIKINI ON VACATION CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2016

29

Mar

Victoria’s Secret Pregnant Chick Erotica of the Day

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I probably used to mid-90s, pre-internet jerk off to Victoria’s Secret catalog, because the models were half naked, airbrushed and hot, and I guess I was doing exactly what they wanted their catalog to do for men, since the brand was started by a man and Victoria’s Secret is that she’s a creepy dude with a passion for lingerie and girls in lingerie, so passionate he made it a billion dollar a year brand and has seen more than just money, but rather every hot model’s pussy along the way….#Goals…

Internet made jerking off to Victoria’s Secret useless, but that’s where they saw most of their success, because it turns out girls buying the underwear is more the goal of the brand, rather than dudes high fiving each other showing them pics of girls they paid to get naked..

But that doesn’t mean they didn’t produce decent stuff, it just got boring, and now they’ve stepped up their edginess…

Mainly in the form of casting pregnant girls to be half naked….before launching their Maternity line….a weird fetish but still a fetish…

Just ask “CLEO THE HURRICANE”….

Here’s the video…

Posted in:SFW|Victoria's Secret

2016

29

Mar

Kylie Jenner Goes Hip Hop of the Day

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I called Kylie Jenner out on my INSTAGRAM because she is garbage…

But more importantly, because her and every other fame whore, I’m talking low levels and top levels, collectively asked their audience to “get notified” every time the person posts, which means their phone will actually go off when people like Kyle post a picture on instagram, where she’s just trying to sell garbage product and garbage lies and her garbage self and garbage family to you…and it amazed me that people would do that or want that…

No, I understand why the vapid cunt who is lazily making a lot of money trying to as much coverage as possible, engaging as tightly as possibly with her retard fans, without having to give them anything but a handful of garbage selfies..

But I don’t understand why anyone would want their phone to buzz when garbage people update their social media like they matter, like it will change their life, like it will even inspire…..when it’s all the same fucking shit over and over again….

Do we really live in a world where we need our phone to vibrate so I don’t miss out on her fat white girl with a tranny dad and hooker sisters and pimp mom ass pushing product on me…because I don’t have enough stress just having the bullshit app on my phone.

Some half dead, plastic surgery ridden, fat transferred, chubby, heavily made up, bootleg video vixen 18 year old, living her rich kid life, isn’t interesting, exciting and we can just hope this instagram era dies with their new update “feed” these whores are all upset about….

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2016

29

Mar

Laura Vandervoort in a Bikini of the Day

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I don’t hate Laura Vandervoort, but I did trick her at some comicon to say that she hates me….

Because there was a point in her life where all she had going for her was Smallville, and she toured that fucking thing until it led to new and more important things, doing whatever it is she does, I don’t follow her career or really care…

But I don’t mind when her skinny blonde body is in a bikini because why the fuck not..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Laura Vandervoort|SFW

2016

29

Mar

Men’s Magazine Goes Fat cuz It’s Trendy with Fat Ashley Graham of the Day

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The whole world’s gone fat…or at least pop culture, or the media outlets that are defining pop culture, because everyone I talk to, even fat girls, hate that fatification of American culture…

They are ok with being fat trash, they know they are sugar addicts, they are lazy, and they still get to fuck as a fat chick because dudes want to fuck them, but they also know that they are fat and that no one should want to watch them fuck, even if they like to fuck…because they are lazy and don’t respect their bodies…

Those fat girls, are the kind of fat girls who find hot models relatable and aspirational, but I guess there are fat girls, fat girls I don’t talk to, who have this inflated ego and narcissism…feeling all busty and hot…because fat girls for the most part have huge fucking tits…taking the guys who fuck her because guys will fuck anything seriously…and turning it into a campaign or a modeling career for more than just PLUS SIZED modeling companies dealing with fat AMERICA…but instead trickling into Sports ILLUSTRATED and now MAXIM…who strategically crop her obesity out…but who is still obese…no matter how “healthy and happy” she claims she is…she’s not…otherwise she wouldn’t be fat…fat by default is UNHEALTHTY..

But I guess being delusional and spinning it like it is OK to be fat, to love your body, instead of encouraging health and fitness is great for marketers trying to get people to eat more junk food…it’s like “If we convince them it is OK to be fat, and to feel hot while fat, we can still market bad processed food to them”…

Ashley Graham doesn’t offend me, I mean she’s annoying and I’m not gonna jerk off to her, but the idea of her as a model, telling girls it’s ok to be fat, buy this donut, is just terrorism on a nation of girls who should never be happy fat, because it is killing them.

She represents a bigger problem, literally…but at least she has huge fat chick tits, now go eat some burgers and you can be Ashley Graham too.