SFW Archives - Page 926 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

29

Mar

Jessica Lowndes and Jon Lovitz Music Video of the Day

I posted that Jon Lovitz / Lowndes trending relationship was a lie yesterday…and this is the video they were promoting…

Actors make very little money, especially when they haven’t worked in the last 3 years like this Jessica LOwndes…so I understand why she’s doing all she can to get a career.

So she’s taken on instagram to maximize her “celebrity” and fans to become an instagram model, like all the other instagram models, and she’s hot enough to be half naked posing her fake tits, making a joke of where the market has gone.

It’s like the girl has been acting, imported from Canada, and was on TV for 5-6 years, and the girls making money, are whores doing bikini selfies at sugar daddy paid trips…

She’s also got a music career, that’s not a very good music career, but actors all seem to do music now, because with computers you don’t need talent and I guess it’s a bigger cash grab than the 500 dollar a day Screen Actor’s Guild day rate…

The video is making fun of everything, at least I assume this is a parody, part of a comedy act, with old “pop-up video” captions, but give the Canadian barely famous girl some love, because at least she’s trying, all while having a rocking body, which is what actually matters.

Posted in:Jessica Lowndes|SFW

2016

28

Mar

Emma Stone Serious Booty in Spandex Pants of the Day

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Emma Stone has a crazy fucking ass…I had no idea..which is probably why I always made fun of her weird mouth and career that I felt was a scam from pandering to nerds by being the accessible chick…irrelevant or insignificant like most of my commentary…

Her ass is legendary, amazing, and I don’t think it’s just the pants squeezing her right, I think it’s just fitness that has paid off in an era where girls embrace being fat and dumpy.

She’s probably training to be a superhero, you know since that’s part of her marketing to the nerds who love her because she’s average…or maybe she’s always been built like this, but only now showing it because she’s older, richer and more confident…or maybe…I just never noticed it because I was hating on her, when I should have been writing her love letters to try to K-Fed her…by resisting pulling out and cumming all over the fire..but choosing the UTERUS instead…

Not that it would be an option, but I would have pretended it was while masturbating to her if I had known she was packing this heat…

Shit..I’d love to let her shit on me…not because I’m German or into shit, in fact it’s the one thing I am not into when it comes to sex, but it would be worth it with Emama Stone and this ass, just to see where it comes from…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emma Stone|SFW

2016

28

Mar

Halle Berry Bikini Bottom Ass of the Day

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Halle Berry, the accessible black girl because she was half white, raised white, went to white school, but connects with black, because she didn’t have a father, and because she was made fun of and teased in her white school for being blacker than the whites, and fatherless…who mocks actual black people who had to struggle and fight for being black…by exploiting that “fact” about her, she is black, but using it as a leverage to win Oscars is her right as a black person, but they might as well have handed it to a white girl in black face.

I’m not saying black people can’t be raised in white neighborhoods by white people and not still be black…I’m just saying Halle Berry used fucking angles to exist…and that’s cultural appropriation she can get away with because she’s black…like a gay dude calling gays faggots because he’s gay…ya know.

If you don’t care about what I have to say about anything, you can look at her mom ass in a bikini…maybe a little too close to birthing to be hot…unless you’re into that….she’s apparently on vacation with her ex husband or some shit I don’t care about but will write because it makes me feel like a GOSSIP magazine..thus RELEVANT.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Halle Berry|SFW

2016

28

Mar

Kendall Jenner and Friends Have Asses in Bikinis of the Day

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Kendall Jenner and her gang of vapid spoiled brat rich kid cunts don’t need an excuse to walk outside of one of their 10 million dollar mansions to sit by the pool in bikinis, only to take group butt shots, because that is all they know…

They don’t need a long weekend to just decompress, but the funny thing is that they probably think that they do, since they WORK so damn hard on their selfies and staying skinny so that brands will still hire them as their AVON ladies to push products to their fans…fans I don’t understand why they exist…but figure it’s because I’m so disconnected from what the kids think matter…which is selfies and angles and followers…that I can’t relate..

But I can stare at young, rich, vapid brat ass in bikinis…it’s pretty fucking easy, like their lives, until they start realizing how empty they are and how their parents don’t exist leading to drugs once the fans move on – and they always move on..eventually..this can’t last forever, it’s amazing it’s even lasted this long.

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2016

28

Mar

Big Girl Ariel Winter Easter Tits of the Day

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It’s almost interesting, but not really, that people are really fascinated by a chubby girl named Ariel Winter’s tits.

At 17, she got a breast reduction, probably to make her look more thin, only failing because she’s chubby, hence the big tits… and all her creepy fans cried about it.

At 18, now she’s saying “don’t worry, I still have big tits, because I am still growing and love eating fast food”…

I had never heard of her because I don’t watch TV, and even if I did, I don’t think I would have been drawn to her character, or tits, on the show modern family.

I think the fact that people are so hyped on her proves that they’ve been watching her tits grow up and found excitement in that…which is weird considering…she’s been on TV since she was pre-pubescent.

I think it also proves that I hang out in the wrong corner of the internet, where people in my real life know nothing about these celebrities, because they don’t matter, or their tits, because they don’t matter….yet here I am, clueless to all this, analyzing it…which I guess makes me weirder than the middle AMerican who watches Modern Family…because as a non-fan of the show doing this…means I think it matters…what’s wrong with me.

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2016

28

Mar

Bella Thorne Armpit Hair of the Day

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Bella Thorne has opened the gates to a new fetish that you probably didn’t know you had, but I knew I had the first time I was fucking a tall chick and my mouth only made it to her armpit and I just went deep in there with tongue…tasting all her scents in what seems more disgusting because she was unshowered and a crackhead, but that isn’t so bad if nicely shaved…

Armpits, the upper body’s vagina…seriously, if you’re wife gets in a horrible accident, or if you aren’t desirable and can only date women born with no legs or genitals, or that’s just a product of a horrible accident, that you like because they can’t leave your abrasive loser ass, you’ll fuck the armpit when you get bored of the mouth..it’s your only option…making it something you should celebrate, even when you’re with girls with all their legs..and parts..

I’ve never fucked an armpit, but I know a dude who did all the time…it’s a thing…and here is Bella Thorne’s armpit looking hairy, at least hair for a ginger who should have transparant orange tinted hair, probably not doing the feminist not shaving armpits thing of last year, trying to be hip or whatever, like those free the nipple girls…but instead just being lazy and knowing people will jerk off to her under any and all circumstances…

I guess I like this because it gives me hope that she’s got a rocking bush and I fucking love bush…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF HER AT WONDERCON CLICK HERE

Here’s some getting some Tattoo Erotica:

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

28

Mar

Selena Gomez Sloppy Ass Picture of the Day

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I don’t know about you but looking at this fat, dumpy Selena Gomez ass in fishnets being held the fuck together, pic she posted to instagram because she’s the most followed person on instagram, even more important than Kim Kardashian, which is so shocking considering Selena has been a Disney star with a huge following as a teen, then she dated Beiber the biggest Youtube star in our generation, to producing Spring Breakers a huge movie, all while producing shitty music, that people listen to…

While Kim K…just had a shitty sex tape and Ryan Seacrest produced reality show…

Shocking that someone who produces content and performs, not necessarily talented, but at least doing things more than being a vapid loser on permanent vacation…gets more love…

But not as shocking as her CHEMO ass, looks just like all the CHEMO asses of dying girls at the hospital…right…because Selena milks her Chemo for LUPUS harder than she milks her Taylor Swift friendship..

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2016

28

Mar

Maria Sharapova in a Bikini of the Day

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The highlight of Maria Sharapova is that she was using performance enhancement medication that the Tennis industry didn’t even know were performance enhancing drugs for the last decade of her career, before it being banned because there are so many meds out there, it’s tough to regulate them…

But I believe her when she said it was preventative of her family history of Diabetes…seems legit, like when pro football players have ANGINA…while fat people I know don’t even have Angina or pre-diabetes drugs…

It’s a massive money making industry, and here are her massive thighs in a bikini…not exciting but still a cheater in a bikini which should be hot to at least one of you…and since there is only one of you out there…let’s hope for the best.

Here she is laughing at all you suckers who thought she was actually a tennis star and not a drug addict.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PERFORMANCE ENHANCEMENT PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Maria Sharapova|SFW

2016

28

Mar

Catherine Zeta-Jones on All Fours in a Bikini of the Day

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I never write anything about Catherine Zeta-Jones because I don’t get excited by Catherine Zeta-Jones…and the only thing I know about Catherine Zeta-Jones is that her husband Michael Douglas, got HPV throat cancer, and that it’s possible he got it from her…but then again, he’s really famous and has been for decades, thanks to his dad who is also really famous, and a lot of pussy has probably rolled over his face…like Catherine Zeta-Jones is trying to roll over the beach chair…all old and a mom, on all fours…for a split second, but long enough for the fetishists who are into this kind of thing…thank god for photography and the ability to capture that VITAL moment…of an old lady in a bathing suit…in the right position.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Catherine Zeta-Jones|SFW

2016

28

Mar

Jessica Lowndes is Engaged to Jon Lovitz Publicity Stunt of the Day

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A video posted by Jessica Lowndes (@jessicalowndes) on Mar 26, 2016 at 1:55pm PDT

I hate writing this post, because this is such as stupid fucking story, that really doesn’t matter in any level, but for some reason it is trending, which is precisely why these people are doing this…

The story is Jessica Lowndes, a Canadian slut who is trying to become an instagram celebrity by posting slutty pics of her and her fake tits, now that she can’t get work…

Is “dating” or “engaged” to Jon Lovitz and old man who is obviously down for the troll, prank, or even if this is real, the sex with a girl he’s probably been paying to fuck for the last year since she’s had no income.

If you’ve been to hollywood, there are rich actors who pay young actors who don’t make much money but who are in the scene for sex…just because they are on TV doesn’t mean they aren’t hookers, in fact, most of the time that is proof they are soulless and will fuck other famous people for career and to pay the mortgage.

So I know that even if this is a legit story, it’s a stupid story, and when a girl is so desperate to get out there, why not take any more famous name to leverage when the tit pics get less hits.

This is so fucking dumb…

Posted in:Jessica Lowndes|SFW

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