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Archive for the Slut Category

2009

07

Jan

Jessica Alba’s Mom is Easy of the Day

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I don’t really know if Alba’s mom is a slut, but I can assume she is, I mean she did breed Alba and by lookin like this, she can’t have much self esteem and definitely takes all she can get and now that she’s menopausal it means no condoms, I mean provided you can live with yourself after mounting this. Sure, it’s the womb that made the girl you are convinced you are married to, you know the one you photoshopped into pictures of yourself in some elaborate fantasy that has gone too far, it’s one of those get as close as you can get to your dreams situations, but by lookin’ at this, even the biggest Alba fan on his horniest virgin day would have to really focus to finish off the job…even if boxy, overweight, elderly bitches without their lady hormones is their thing. Either way, I think Menopause is the least of Alba’s mom’s concerns, I mean look at her, she’s a fucking monster and a probable glimpse into Alba’s future, and really every woman’s future…it’s some circle of life shit. Get ready for it.

BONUS – Here’s Alba’s Mom Slutting Out in a See Through Shirt…I Guess She’s Taken on the Roll (with extra butter and gravy) of Caring for Her Useless Spoiled Daughter’s Baby….All While Trying to Seduce Us….Slut….

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Mom|Slut

2009

05

Jan

Miley Cyrus in Some Ripped Pantyhose of the Day

3 Comments »

Miley Cyrus is really taking this teenage slut thing seriously. Here she is wearing a pair of pantyhose you’d expect to find on a dead hooker found in an alley in the seedy part of town after she was raped and killed, or even in a field an hour out of town for the more nature loving whore killers. Or maybe even something you’d see on a crackwhore who is on day 5 of a serious bender that’s left her curled up in the corner of a charge by the hour motel room, unshowered, in the same clothes she came in on, crying in the corner alone, but it’s definitely not something you’d expect a 15 year old to be wearing as if to advertise how her 21 year old ravages her so aggressively because the passion is so high that she can’t keep a pair of pantyhose for more than a couple hours before the crotch is ripped out and his fingers are scratching a record like he was Sam Ronson on her box, but I am probably jumping to conclusions, she probably got them at Hot Topic and they are probably part of the Perez Hilton clothing collection and her older fame hunting boyfriend is gay and just with her for the publicity knowing that she’ll never try to bang him since she’s a good little Christian who is totally sexually satisfied thanks to the execs at Disney. Sure, talking about a 15 year old sexually is considered wrong, maybe even illegal in the US, but I like to look at it as a practice that created your great culture…without pregnant 15 year olds in the 1600s, none of you white folk would be eating your McDonald’s or drinking your Coca Cola today, so hating on me for talking about a 15 year old having sex is like a black person hating on slavery, that shit just doesn’t happen….oh wait…maybe I’m wrong about that….but what I am not wrong about is that when I was 15 I was fucking and I’m sure you were too, and if you weren’t you would have been, if you found a girl retarded enough to let you, I’m talking Down’s Syndrome retarded not bad judgement retarded, because those in helmets usually have low standards. I think that’s enough of this post.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Pantyhose|Ripped|Slut

2008

28

Nov

Jodie Marsh and Some Weird Monster of the Day

5 Comments »

Here is a picture of Jodie Marsh with some Save Tango midget painted orange, I have no idea what this is all about and I am really not about to go find out, because that would involve doing work, but I do it is a British thing and British people are fucking weird.

I also know that it is involves people painting themselves orange, and there is no doubt in my mind that when the people painting themselves orange are midgets, that they are actually getting paid to get exploited to do the shit, so they stand out and slutty lesbian attention whores make an effort to get a picture taken with them, not because it’s not everyday you see a midget with a painted face like some kind of clown, not that they have many other career options, they are fucking midgets, but because when you’re Jodie Marsh, it’s hard to find someone more orange than she is….

If I had a midget, I’d exploit him too. I’d constantly make him give me stand up blowjobs and treat him like my whore, pretty much all the time, from the minute I let him out of his cage, my dick would be in his mouth, and it wouldn’t be gay, because everyone knows midgets aren’t human. That’s like calling an old farmer gay for fucking the male sheep. Everyone knows that’s not true…

Okay, enough of this stupidity, now go look at Jodie Marsh’s stupidity…

Posted in:Jodie Marsh|Midget|Slut|Underwear

2008

26

Nov

Megan Fox is Still a Slut, Even When Wearing Lots of Clothes and Flying Away For Thanksgiving of the Day

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I’m not a lesbian or anything, but Megan Fox pretends she is to get attention from the media and really secure her place as the town whore everyone wants to fuck. Kinda like Katy Perry and her whole kissed a girl shit, proving that men are weak, it doesn’t take very much to get excited, but the least Megan Fox could do is get out of her Brian Austin Green issued uniform that covers her from head to toe, and show us that pussy she’s always talkin’ about using because eventually she’ll have had his kid, since she’s under his spell, and it’ll all be over for her, true story, some crazy lady told me all about it on the bus today, she carrying a bag filled with bras and underwear she picked up at the Salvation Army, so I’m not sure how much of what she says is fact and how much of it is crazy.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Slut

2008

25

Nov

Megan Fox is a Slut Black Dress of the Day

6 Comments »

Megan Fox was out in some American Apparel lookin’ dress that girls around here wear out to bars, but she’s doing it in broad daylight. Another more embarrassing thing she’s doing in broad daylight, being seen in public with David from 90210. Sure they are in love, they are a couple, he fucks her, but that’s the kind of shit you pretend doesn’t go on, because as addicted to his cock as you are, you know that he’s a fucking joke and jokes are meant to be kept on bootycall at 4 am after being overserved at the bar. You know the fat chick, the one-legged chick, the midget, or the high functioning chick you’ve been fucking all these years, but won’t introduce her to your family and friends because you have some fucking dignity and you are embarrassed that you lowered yourself to that, you feel weak and controlled by your penis, like Megan Fox is controlled by David from 90210 and probably believes that he’s so fuckin’ down, and so fucking cool, and so fucking trendy, and so fucking bad that it makes her pussy drip and that’s why she’s gone so far as to get shitty lookin’ tattoos to fit in with him, because she’s one of those girls who just really doesn’t know what’s up, and in her mind is living her dream, because she used to wish she was Tori Spelling when lying in bed feeling her teenage pussy to see if it’s sprouted hair yet..and she’s hanging with the wrong fucking crowd, like all those hot girls you see dancing on tables for dudes in Ed Hardy, convinced that they are rollin’ in style, with people who know what’s up, but in reality are just embarrassing themselves and your challenge is to break them free from that to believe you’ve got what they want, which may be hard, because most girls don’t like 3 inch cocks and stamp collections.

I am sure she’ll eventually open her eyes, even if it’s too late and she’s already open her legs for him, but who really cares, it’s not like any of us have to deal with her on any level more than jerking off to her, not that I would do that because she’s overrated, but because you do and I was trying to make you feel better about yourself…

Posted in:Megan Fox|Slut

2008

19

Nov

Kourtney Kardashian Straddles Her Boyfriend in Her Bikini Video of the Day

2 Comments »

It was never assumed that Kourtney Kardashian wasn’t an attention seeking slut like her big sister (literally) Kim. I mean their dad was a powerful lawyer who was too busy to give them the attention they needed, so instead just handed over his credit card. I am sure he’d be proud of his little sluts if he was still alive today, you know being able to watch them and masturbate to them in his office behind closed doors and still walk them down the aisle on their wedding nights, instead of having to do it like all dead relatives have to do it, by being an ominous presence overlookin from above, in disappointment than when he was alive, he didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to accidentally let them play with his gun collection when they were 10.

These girls have absolutely no fucking substance, they are drunk, talking stupidities in broken sentences but luckily droppin’ bitch, bitches, motherfuckin so we get what they are trying to communicate, you know dumb rich slut is a dialect of its own, before Kourtney gets on top of her lame lookin’ boyfriend and rides him a little in her bikini. It’s about as exciting as the Kim Kardashian Sex Tape, which isn’t say much, but at least Kim got naked and pissed on, in this shit, I just see some slicked hair lookin clown kissing a piece of shit person….

Posted in:Kourtney Kardashian|Slut

2008

29

Oct

Aisleyne Horgan Wallace is a Busted Up Party Slut of the Day

12 Comments »

Her name is Aisleyne Horgan Wallace and you’ve probably never heard of her, but I have. She’s some rich kid socialite from the UK, who has some important stepfather, who wanted to get a career of her own as a model, actress, Paris Hilton, so she signed up to some reality show, and showed off her ability to have pretty much no self respect while craving a lot of male attention. She’s showed up to events with her tits out, her underwear showing, and has done all she can to have people talk about her, her fake tits and heer used up pussy.

The truth is that she’s a pig faced waste of fucking space, but like all party sluts with the same self worth, she’s managed to show off her ass and fake titties again, it’s pretty much the core of her person and the only reason she gets work, and I’m going to support that, in hopes that one day we’ll meet and she’ll be nice enough to support me for being part of her quest to draw attention to herself. I am not very expensive, I just want out of this hell that I am living.

On a side note, there is a trendy club here, that I have managed to work my way into a couple of times with friends who knew people, not that getting into any club in this city is hard, everyone is relatively broke and useless, and the city is small enough to know a couple of key people, but that’s not the point, the point is that it has a similar balcony that looks over the dance floor and when I saw it for the first time, I thought i was in heaven. I looked up to the Gods while totally wasted and lookin back at me was young girls in short skirts wearing all different kinds of panties, some weren’t wearing panties at all, and as pussy, ass and thongs were being showered over me, I felt like I was in heaven, taking it all in, until a bouncer grabbed me and escorted me out for being a creep, never to be allowed back in again with nothing but memories to remember that glorious days, memories that are unfortunately sparked by this ugly slag.

Posted in:Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace|Ass|Slut|Tits

2008

27

Oct

Annalynne McCord in Some Halloween Costume of the Day

4 Comments »

Her name is Annalynne McCord and she’s been pretty busy trying to make her famous, that she didn’t realize that Halloween was next week. Actually, it’s possible that she just dresses like this all the time, because it gets people to look at her, and let’s face it, the only reason she wanted to be an actress on shit like 90210, is because she wanted people to look at her, it’s some kind of daddy issue that went all wrong, because daddy issues that have gone right lead girls to getting naked and giving back alley blowjobs, and not back to my house blowjobs, because the daddy issues that lead to back alley blowjobs, are usually daddy issues that involve being molested by daddy, and when you want to get off, sometimes that kind of daddy issue is just way too much to handle, especially when she’s on your bathroom floor crying and convulsing about how broken down she is, smokin’ some rock and asking why the one man she should have trusted went too far and why the one man who was supposed to protect her, hurt her so much, as I’m trying to get her to shut the fuck up because my wife may be a sound sleeper, but definitely not that sound of a sleeper, so instead, we’ll just forget about the hot shower and get it done here, kind of daddy issues.

Either way, Annalynne reminds us of what we’re going to be getting ourselves into in just 5 days time, I am planning on seeing at least 6 bare vaginas over the course of the weekend, and more if the people at Playboy pull through by paying for me and a guest to come down to their Playboy Mansion party, I just need to find someone who works there to make it happen and in the meantime, here’s Annalynne McCord, someone, I’ve never heard of until today, so I guess her plan’s working…

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Halloween|Slut

2008

24

Oct

Brittny Gastineau and Her Slutty Shirt of the Day

3 Comments »

Here’s real life Gossip Girl Brittny Gastineau, some rich slut who has a football playing father, who spent her youth as a socialite, rich slut and is spending her time now trying to get a legitimate career in entertainment and she is doing that by showing up to an event wearing her lingerie for a shirt, when lingerie is supposed to be meant for strippers, Valentine’s Day and 25th anniversary bedroom celebrations, and the whole thing is just crazy.

I mean Halloween is next week, and girls go out in lingerie all the time, so maybe she’s getting a head start, but an insider told me that she’s dressing up like Paris Hilton in her sex tape, because when you’re a slut in everyday life, Halloween can only take 2 routes and they are dressing wholesome for the irony of it, or going balls out and getting naked.

So she may be a week early in this get-up, but I’m not complaining, I think lingerie should be mandatory business atire, despite how wild the concept is, and if I owned a company, that would be the law, but since I don’t own a company, because it would go bankrupt before it started, and because I’d be arrested in the first week for exposing myself to my staff because I’d make it clear that was part of their job description, despite it being against the law, I’ll just settle with these pictures of some rich socialite wearing her underwear as outerwear, because that concept is just wild.

What’s next? Usingsex toys in public, or bikinis in the winter, or socks for condoms, or plastic bags for shoes like the homeless dude down the street….I guess fashion is just way to crazy for me….assuming that this Brittny Gastineau character has any idea what fashion is, because I know I don’t.

Posted in:Brittny Gastineau|Lingerie|Shirt|Slut

2008

23

Oct

Olivia Munn Does Halloween For Complex of the Day

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Halloween is coming and that means that so are the everyday girls who feel it’s time to show off their wild side that they really want to show off on the daily basis, but have been raised to think it is inappropriate, except on Halloween, because you’re just dressing up and not actually showing a secret slut side of you. It is like a day pass into whoredom, and that means a lot of the girls you’ve seen walking around in sweat pants, or sweaters, or jeans, who look really fucking boring and prude, will be out getting drunk in lingerie or slutty costumes and that’s what makes shit the hottest night of the year.

And you know, when a girl gets out there dressed all slutty, she usually ends up getting all turned on and that means with a little booze, she will put out because of all the sexual attention she’s been getting all night that she’s not used to, making Halloween a night you may actually get laid, and if you can’t or haven’t got laid on Halloweens of yesteryear, then you’ll probably appreciate Olivia Munn in Complex trying on a couple of costumes, because it’s safe to say, you’ll be at home that night watching G4TV and she’ll be your date, after giving out candy to the neighborhood kids because your mom’s more fun than you and out at a work party and you had little else to do, and if you’re lucky, Munn will be wearing one of these costumes or something a little more slutty, so that you don’t fully miss out on life, like you have been the last 20 years and that way you can at least jerk off to someone in costume, since you’re not out jerking off on someone in costume and from my study, it’s less creepy than jerking off to the Charlie Brown Halloween special.

The truth is that I have never dressed up in the past, because I always found it tedious and lame, but the last 2 years I noticed that guys who dress up get a lot more attention from girls, because girls love dressing up and love talking to guys who dress up and it’s pretty much the easiest coversation starter, and unfortunately for us, conversation is the first step to fingerbanging a girl on the dancefloor, unless of course the girl is passed out drunk in her lingerie costume on the couch at whatever party you’re at, being as quiet as possible is probably your best bet. I’m just lookin’ out for you. Oh, and the costume of the year if you want pussy is to dress like Sam Ronson….


To see the rest of the pictures…..
GO

Posted in:Halloween|Olivia Munn|Slut