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Archive for the Tits Category

2009

15

Jun

Shauna Sand’s and her Purse Carrier Bikini Pictures of the Day

Shauna Sand has this hired boy toy who I guess she uses to make herself feel like she’s still got it going on. You know, like the hot Playboy bunny who I guess she once was. The kind of girl who could convince any man to stick their dick inside her, because I guess she doesn’t realize that any girl can get any guy to fuck them, they just have to play the situation right, since most guys are opportunists and if they aren’t fucking someone else that specific time, or if they aren’t these pussy whipped married types, they will go along with it, just because sex is better than masturbating, even if the girl is a monster, it is not in us to turn down vagina.

That said, whenever I see these pictures of Shauna Sand and this chiseled, tanned guy carrying her purse, I get freaked out, it looks so fuckin’ plastic and robotic, maybe even medicated and depressing. It would make sense that this guy is gay and trying to get a head, or maybe even an import from another country, and despite being and an immigrant, can stomach her tight body, because it’s all for a bigger cause, and she looks like a tranny he used to fuck back home in Brazil or some shit, but he just can’t stomach her pussy, cuz like an asshole, it is dry and needs lube, but unlike an ashhole it is loose and has a little too much slack to trick yourself into thinking you’re not in a cunt.

Here are the pics.

Posted in:Bikini|Shauna Sand|Tits

2009

12

Jun

Alicia Douvall and Her Nutty Tits of the Day

Some really fat chick who was wearing a push-up bra to counterbalance her gut, I know this shit because I watch the Oprah bikinis for everyboday episode as often as I can, just said hi to me when I was taking my dog outside to take a little pee, cuz I am tired of him pissing on my pillow while I am sleeping, I figure breathing that shit in isn’t good for me, and I got really spooked, not so much because of the way this monster, her cleavage looked, or even from the obvious fear and suffering both the shorts she squeezed into and the kid she was holding hands with had on their faces, but because people are so self absorbed these days and so paranoid, they just don’t say hi to strangers, unless they are yachting or on the Golf course so that you can be certain you are dealing with someone in your class bracket, but randomly on the street just doesn’t happen, unless of course you’re dealing with a fat chick lookin’ for a husband to take care of her and her baggage and I’m already playin’ that game and it sucks.

Sure, that has nothing to do with Ailicia Douvall, but bitch is like a stranger to me, cuz I’ve never heard of her, but now that I’ve seen her stupid tits, I’d like to say hi and for some reason I regret no hitting up a stripclub last night.

Here are the pics, today is about to start.

Posted in:Alicia Douvall|cleavage|Tits

2009

11

Jun

Annalynne McCord’s Kinda Hot Body of the Day

I still don’t really know who Annalynne McCord is, not because I keep my 90210 intake on the minimum, because that’d be a lie, I mean every weekend I try to organize marathons with 35 year old chicks who still get horny thanks to their teenage fantasies of fucking Luke Perry, leaving them left with their depressing, lonely, divorced life and me…unfortunately, I haven’t found a bitch dumb enough to make it happen, I just don’t bother with revival shit, I find it lame, but not as lame as assholes with old school skateboards in their pink fuckin’ Vans shoes and strategically ripped pants, acting like they’ve always been down, not that down really exists anymore, everything is pop, but if this motherfucker showed up at the skatepark in 1990, we would have beat him the fuck up for being a poser, then we’d gang rape his whore girlfriend, in her wife beater, with her perky little tits and skinny body, even though she spends her day on an embarrassing show….

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Tits|White Shirt

2009

09

Jun

Jessica Simpson’s Got Some Ridiculous Fat Tits of the Day

The good thing about your wife gaining a little bit of weight is the bigger, fuller, nicer tits. The bad thing about your wife gaining weight is that there is usuall yno signs of it stopping and soon, the ass, the legs, the stomach, the face, the neck, the arms, the calves, the feet start to follow, and next thing you know, family vacation is spent at an all you can eat buffet down the fuckin’ street four days in a fucking row because bitch sees the shit as a challenge and not as a fuckin’ selection of low quality food average people don’t eat because it makes them fuckin’ sick.

So Jessica Simpson’s tits look crazy, but when the rest of her follows, these big titties will look like A-Cups in coparison to her gut. So take it in when you can.

Posted in:cleavage|Jessica Simpson|Tits

2009

08

Jun

Sophie Monk’s Cry for Attention at the Santa Monica Pier of the Day

There’s something pretty magical about watching Sophie Monk riding some weird Mexican donkey themed toy you’d see kids posing with, not because I am into watching kids ride things for sexual pleasure, but because I like Mexican themed shit being riden by hot, busty, hard nippled Australians who ever since moving to America to be with her lame fiance who left her for Paris Hilton’s vile vagina, despite his true feelings that his heart really belonged to his twin brother, are desperate for attention and letting paparazzi agencies do these kinds of low budget photoshoots with her, in hopes someone picks it up. We’re talking a few steps away from a porn career and motherfucker, I’m ready for it cuz I think this bitch has got it going on, despite the bad choices she’s made in choosing cock to put up inside her….

Posted in:Sophie Monk|Tits

2009

04

Jun

Halle Berry Tits on Set for Some Commercial of the Day

Halle Berry is filming a commercial and between takes on that commercial, she took some time to adjust her top and the paparazzi were there to snap off a shot. You can’t see shit, but you know that under that dress and under that bra are a great set of tits like you’ve never seen a fucking tit, even though you’ve seen her tit in movies over and over again.

The fact that I am posting this…makes me feel like a fucking loser…Like someone who gets excited about this kind of thing…which is a nice reminder…that I am a fucking loser….

Posted in:Halle Berry|Tits

2009

04

Jun

Beth Ditto and Her Big Hungry Titties of the Day

It always amazes me when I meet dudes who like fat chicks. The other day I was out with a friend and he was going off about how hot this fat chick was, talking about her massive tits like they were a gift from fucking god, even though she was sitting with an actual hot chick. I didn’t understand what the fuck was wrong with him, because I didn’t even notice the fat chick, sure maybe my standards are unrealistic and I’d rather jerk off to hot chicks than fuck ugly chicks.

Sure, I am married to a fat chick, I live with a fat chick, I try to share a bed with a fat chick every night, because she takes up the majority of the fucking bed, and that just puts me in a better position to confirm that fat chicks are fuckin’ garbage.

Either way, he explained that he liked fat chicks, not because he’s trying to stay hip hop and in touch with his black friends, but because they look loyal, like a girl who would try to carry your grocery bags for you, even if it is fueled by the sheer excitement of getting at those bags and eating all the fucking food, and they love suckin’ dick.

So instead of hating on pig lookin’ bitches, I guess we should celebrate, because some of you motherfuckers like fat chicks, mainly because they are less work than hot chicks, but also because you have no self-esteem and hate your life, at least that’s the reason why I am married to a fat chick.

Here’s Beth Ditto showing off her fat tits in some see through lookin something that I am trying my best not to look at…

Posted in:Beth Ditto|Tits

2009

03

Jun

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass Hangs with Brittny Gastineau’s Fat Tits of the Day

One day, not too long ago, a fat ass met it’s soulmate who was a fat set of tits. It wasn’t a conventional love affair, but they somehow knew they belonged together, not that were going to take over the world together, but they would definitely go out for ice cream, because ice cream is really all they have in common, but in this case, it is a match made in heaven and that bond is more than enough, because ice cream and really anything sweet is such a huge part of both of their lives….

Posted in:Brittny Gastineau|Kim Kardashian|Tits

2009

03

Jun

Katy Perry is Disgusting at Some Event of the Day

This girl is famous. She is the same girl you didn’t notice in your high school class, not even when gym class rolled around and she put on a tight shirt, hoping some of the boys would look her way, because tit was all she had going for her, but instead the plan backfired and got her teased harder, laughed at better and emotionally crushed, leaving her home alone on Prom Night trying to figure out how she’ll get her revenge on all of us,

So she came up with this Popstar idea, despite all odds, but fueled with the need to prove herself and get her revenge on all the haters, she didn’t take no for an answer, and broke down barriers, like her busted fucking face, her lack of both dancing and singing talent and some miracle made her who she is today, luckily putting her on the international scene so more people out there can take a shot at her, and hopefully break her the fuck down and knock her off this high horse, cuz she doesn’t belong to be on a fuckin’ High Horse, she should be outback shoveling someone else’s high horse’s shit stroking it when no one is looking, wishing one day it will belong to her, before getting kicked in the head by it and ending up in a vegetable only to be taken off life support by her family, in some kind of celebration, cuz even they hate her. Seriosuly. Make her go away.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Tits

2009

29

May

Lisa Rinna Demonstrates How She Launched her Career of the Day

Lisa Rinna is on a book tour to promote her new book called “Use My Face Lips Like They Were My Vagina Lips” and it’s about how she got and maintained a career in Hollywood.

Here she is reading a chapter on technique that has proven to really work for her and can’t help but acting it out for the 3 perverts who happened to already be in the store when she got up to speak.

Posted in:Blowjob|Lisa Rinna|Tits