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Archive for the Tits Category

2007

30

Jul

I am – Amy Alexandra Topless of the Day

1 Comment »

Amy Alexandra

My keeper (he’s been bankrolling my box) sent me alone on a weekend break from my paid vacation to LA. I spent it in San Diego because I like their beaches better than LA’s. Also, since I live in NY, I can’t afford to go to the Hamptons because sand and surf is for rich trust-fund fuckers and the cunts that spit them out, so San Diego was like a 48 hour beach-gasm.

I blacked out after getting drunk in the Gaslight District. I woke up in some blonde tattooed guy’s bed (not into blondes or tattoos). This happens alot. I patted myself on the back though because what i could see of his body was slender but toned and his face was cute. As I quietly gathered my clothes, I noticed a cape, helmet, and what can only be described as super-hero accessories in the corner.

Yeah… I fucked one of the virgin-basement dwellers in town for the Comic Convention. Good news for you: I might have fucked one of you readers. Bad news for you: by the time you get home, your mom will have turned your basement pad into a sewing room and moved your cum-stained mattress into the garage. You won’t care because you have a bunch of new shiny whatever-Man comics to read in between jacking off to these topless pictures of Amy Alexandra from UK Big Brother 8. Just don’t get your man-milk all over your new merchandise because it will decrease its value. No ebay buyer will want to pay $300 for your soiled comic book in 15 years.

Which ever one of you I fucked, kudos for breaking the mold: you were neither fat nor busted, rather svelt I might say. I don’t know how good you were, because I don’t remember.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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2007

30

Jul

I am – Nell McAndrew Bikini Pics of the Day

9 Comments »

Nell McAndrew

I get pretty sick of posting stars in bikini’s by the pool all day sometimes, because it pretty much makes me hate every last one of them.

I haven’t been in a pool in a few years now that I think about it. There’s public pools around but the thought of all the 4 year olds pissing and then swimming around in their own piss while they put water in their mouths to spit it at their friends pretty much makes me want to puke.

Since I’m not ten anymore, I don’t have a kid I can pretend to be friends with in order to swim in his pool (man those were the days!!!), and since most people generally annoy the hell out of me anyways, I don’t think I would do a very good job at pretending. Maybe I’ll just put on my bikini and sit in the bathtub.

I don’t know who Nell McAndrew is, but she is in the sun, by the pool, in a bikini, which means if I know anything, it’s that I hate her already.

Hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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2007

30

Jul

I am – Bianca Gasciogne Lingerie Pics of the Day

3 Comments »

Bianca Gasciogne

I ended up watching some movie on the weekend where some kid ends up with brain cancer at the end and dies and blah, blah, blah and everyone I was watching it with was really sad and all that bullshit while I just sat there not really feeling anything about it, because unlike my idiot friends, I don’t get all upset when watching stories about fucking make believe. It’s called ACTING you fucking tards.

To make matters worse, it got all “these are the things we need to do if we ever only have a short time to live� etc, which is fucking bullshit, because you shouldn’t wait till you are fucking sick to do those things, you should fucking do them NOW.

Anyways, I was so annoyed with this god damned situation that I told them all if I get Cancer, I’m gonna sit in my bedroom and hate this world and everything in it. I wouldn’t want any visitors or well wishers and no fucking Chemo either.. I wouldn’t fight at all and would want that shit to kill me as fast as possible and would also smoke more cigarettes in hopes of accelerating the cancer, thereby killing me faster. They launched into the whole cancer isn’t funny thing, and that’s when I made a break for it.

Here’s Bianca Gasciogne. She’s the girl you would like to fuck if you had Cancer and only had a short time to live, cause you are a virgin and will use any excuse to get laid.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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2007

27

Jul

I am – Gemma Atkinson Almost Naked of the Day

2 Comments »

Gemma Atkinson

I went on a date last night with this guy who seemed pretty nice when I met him but not really my type so to speak. He ended up taking me to this fucking frat boy bar where 90% of the kids have just moved out of their houses and are spending their parents money to get wasted and not get up for the college classes their parents also paid for.

So needless to say I’m stuck sitting between him and this other dude, listening them talk about college fucking football (of course) and, hating my life and wondering why I always end up with these fucking losers, and of course trying to think of a way to get out of this situation, because I hate jock fucks. The climax came when they asked me if I would be interested in letting them tag team me and got all bro-type-high-five-shit and like I’m not really into that because more often then not the dudes are closet gays more interested in seeing each other naked then me.

I ended up asking where the bathroom was and when I found it I noticed there was a door to the back alley of this place and before you could say beer bong, I was out of the place like a fucking bolt of lightning. I ended up going to some shitty bar down the street from my place and going home with some hott random dude to fuck all night , so all is well that ends well. I didn’t get his phone number or give him mine, and it’s probably better that way

Here’s Gemma Atkinson.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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Posted in:Gemma Atkinson|Lingerie|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Jul

I am – Jennifer Ellison is a $2 Hooker of the Day

1 Comment »

Jennifer Ellison

Well here is Jennifer Ellison at some event or another exuding what I can only describe as pure class. You can practically see it oozing from her pores. You’ve heard of a wolf in sheeps clothing? Well Jennifer here is a whore in whores clothing.

I never really went through that period in my life where I dressed like a whore yet and I don’t think I am going to, mostly because if my mother or Jesus ever saw me leave the house like that they would kick the shit out of me, straight up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for short skirts and high heeled fuck me boots that go up to my knee, but I’m not for old men yelling at me out their car windows asking “Hey baby, how much?� either, you know? That’s more Sugar Nell’s department if anything, and I like to leave professional jobs to professionals.

I did learn at a young age that I can pretty much get anything I want from men based on my looks, but I know how girls are that do that shit and I don’t roll like that. I’m not even talking about fucking for money here, I’m talking about bitches who arent even gold diggers they just like some idiot to take them out so they dont have to pay for shit, and go to fancy restaurants that usually suck anyways. They don’t fuck for $400, they fuck for dinner and a movie. They are the bargain basement store prostitutes. I tried it a few times and hated myself after for it, not because I hurt some guys feelings and made him cry (that part was funny) but cause I know in my heart that unlike Jennifer Ellison here, I ain’t no $2 hooker.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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2007

26

Jul

I am – Lucy Pinder in a Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

Lucy Pinder

I wish I had something funny or memorable to write today, but I don’t. was hoping Mike Rowe from Dirty jobs would get back to me in regards to the post I made HERE and maybe even that bitch Heather who’s email I posted in the steplinks HERE but no such luck. That being said, I am bored and tired and don’t feel like writing right now, so here’s some pics of Lucy Pinder in a bikini. You still love me, right?

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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2007

26

Jul

I am – Deelishes' Udders of the Day

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Deelish

I am not excited about flying cross country to spend 5 days getting slammed by a former client’s old man meat for rent money, and writing for you twats while he recharges. I haven’t really been back to LA since I was a kid. We left when I was 12 because I had a depressive drunk birth-father (not the fun Step kind like Jesus) who needed a new start in a new timezone, which didn’t really work out.

I remember hating LA. We lived right on the border of the rich part, like literally, the neighborhood went from rich to poor in the middle of my street, beginning with my house. My dad said he was going to re-stucco the front, ripped it all off, then left the wood and cinder blocks and pipes exposed for 5 years and let the lawn turn into a weed forrest while he drank in the garage. There were some Filipinos further down the block with some chickens and a chihuahua that went missing. The kid next door claimed he beat the rat dog to death in a pillow case with a bat, but that dog was most likely the Filipinos’ dinner. There was a drug bust one night. A local skinhead would paint swastikas on the wall of the retarded kid’s house. The riots were kind of exciting.

This is Deelishes from Flava of Love’s teets. I don’t know whether she won or not, but she looks like the tranny that used to prance by my school yard every other day swinging a purse and a ponytail weave.

Once I saw Flava Flave in NYC heading west on 18th street at 5th ave. He had his big clock on and was yelling into is cell for attention. It was sad. But not as sad as Deelishes’ udders. Someone didn’t wear a bra for ten years. She should get a lift and you should start smacking your prick because you know it turns you on.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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2007

26

Jul

I am – Deelishes’ Udders of the Day

No Comments »

Deelish

I am not excited about flying cross country to spend 5 days getting slammed by a former client’s old man meat for rent money, and writing for you twats while he recharges. I haven’t really been back to LA since I was a kid. We left when I was 12 because I had a depressive drunk birth-father (not the fun Step kind like Jesus) who needed a new start in a new timezone, which didn’t really work out.

I remember hating LA. We lived right on the border of the rich part, like literally, the neighborhood went from rich to poor in the middle of my street, beginning with my house. My dad said he was going to re-stucco the front, ripped it all off, then left the wood and cinder blocks and pipes exposed for 5 years and let the lawn turn into a weed forrest while he drank in the garage. There were some Filipinos further down the block with some chickens and a chihuahua that went missing. The kid next door claimed he beat the rat dog to death in a pillow case with a bat, but that dog was most likely the Filipinos’ dinner. There was a drug bust one night. A local skinhead would paint swastikas on the wall of the retarded kid’s house. The riots were kind of exciting.

This is Deelishes from Flava of Love’s teets. I don’t know whether she won or not, but she looks like the tranny that used to prance by my school yard every other day swinging a purse and a ponytail weave.

Once I saw Flava Flave in NYC heading west on 18th street at 5th ave. He had his big clock on and was yelling into is cell for attention. It was sad. But not as sad as Deelishes’ udders. Someone didn’t wear a bra for ten years. She should get a lift and you should start smacking your prick because you know it turns you on.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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2007

25

Jul

I am – Throwback Naked Playmate of the Day

1 Comment »

Kathy Lloyd

A couple months ago I was crashing on my friend’s couch along with her at her mom’s apartment. Every morning we would take the dogs out to the park to pee and hump each other (the dogs, not us). One morning we noticed a homeless dude passed out in the bushes. One of the dogs ran off, and when it came back, it was covered in hot, wet homeless shit. We freak out. The other dog starts going nuts and fucking this human shit-covered dog. We call her mom and she says to take them to Petco (I was thinking bullets were a better idea).

We leash the bitches up (they are lesbian dogs) and start the 12 block treck to Petco. It’s morning rush hour, the sidewalks are packed, and our two human-diarrhea dogs are rubbing up against people on their way to work. We get to Petco, and the groomer was like, “Holy fuck.”

Two hours later the dogs came back with ribbons and smelling like roses. You know what probably doesn’t smell like roses? Former playmate Kathy Lloyd’s pussy now. These are some old naked picks of her from, Hell, i dunno, the ’80s? ’90s? She probably has peices of Heffner all stuck and rotting up in her vagina. But she was naked then, so I present her to you now. Go masterbate.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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2007

24

Jul

I am – Gretchen Mol's Rack is Over the Hill of the Day

No Comments »

Gretchen Mol

Here’s another post from Julien, our Token Gay Blogger, for all you closet Homos out there!

I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m not looking for a boyfriend but I was seeing (aka fucking) this guy for the past few months. It was by no means exclusive, we were both free to do whatever we wanted to do with whomever we wanted, but if we were both at the same bar/club/
after party/bathhouse/back alley/washroom in the subway station and we had nothing better to fuck, we would go home together.

So anyway I see at this club the other night and I’m all fucked up on whatever pills I found in my jeans, so I go over to him and start making out with him. After about 10 seconds, he stops me and goes I can’t, I started dating someone and it’s serious. We are going to be monogamous. This is coming from one of the biggest sluts I know; I mean this guy has seen more assholes than the entire New York Board of Proctologists. He walks away from me and I felt pretty rejected so
I got more drunk and went home with the first half-decent guy that I saw.

The worst part is it’s not that he rejected me, but it’s that he wasn’t even that good in bed. He was older than me so he had some performing issues, not to mention the fact that he would freak out at the first sign of a little santorum. All in all he wasn’t a good fuck, just an easy one. If only I had gotten to him when he was younger, I bet he could’ve kept going all night. Speaking of things that are way past their prime, here are some pics of Gretchen Mol’s cleavage.

Smooch!

Julien


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