Uncategorized Archives - Page 104 of 421 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

10

Jul

I am – Jenna Jameson at some Party of the Day

I don’t find Jenna Jameson hot at all. I know she’s a dirty washed up porn slut who everyone gives credit to for being such a great business woman in writing books, producing porn, selling molds of her cunt and doing whatever else she does to make money, but when I look at her I just see a whore and I have never really had anything against whores, I’d pay them for sex and shit, but I never wanted to make them my girlfriend and when I could jerk off I’d never jerk off to them, because the thought of being so dirty and loose in the hips, always made me more sick to my stomach than anything else.

I am not trying to say that I would only prey on virgins, but there was a time when I’d meet girls in bars and we’d get to talking and they’d tell me how many dude’s they had banged in their lifetime and I’d take the drink I bought them out of their hand and dump it out on the floor, because it’s easy for a bitch to get cock, all they have to do is leave the house and when a bitch gets as much cock as someone like Jenna, they have emotional issues. In her case, I get that it’s her job, but it’s not a very hard job to get in and being successful at what she does is a lot easier than getting that promotion at the shitty office you work at. If the world worked like a porn movie, the richest people in the world would be the ones who can take the most dicks in their ass, and that is why I have no respect for this talentless prostitute.

I knew this stripper who I’d run into on the street and shit, outside the club and working hours. She was always with a different guy. When I asked her where she met all these dudes, she would say at work or at clubs. I would ask why she hangs with them and she’d say because they buy me stuff, they take me on vacation and take me to nice restaurants. When I told her that she was a whore because she made it clear that she would bang them, she said something like it’s not like they pay me in cash. Point being that money hungry bitches who know that loser dudes pay for their company and use their pussies to get ahead are trash.

Either way, I figured I’d post pictures of her partying to remind you that disgusting sluts are out there and people like you like them

2007

08

Jul

I am – Jazzy Pants Dance of the Day

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I was watching some dude dancing in the street with his girl the other night when I was walking by. I thought it was a little embarrassing or weird to ask your girl for a dance when there was no music and a lot of pedestrian traffic. It was like they didn’t give a fuck about us and their overly happy world was one giant fucking dance floor, letting us all how much better their lives are than ours and not letting us forget that the whole world isn’t our dance floor, we have places to go that we don’t want to go and we’re not prancing our way there and we have people we have to go with who can barely fucking get out of bed, let alone dance. It was kinda like a skinny kid sitting on a bench outside the gym eating box of donuts next to a fat guy who just walked out of the gym because he doesn’t want a heart attack and is trying to make the right choices in life.

Either way, I don’t even know how to dance and if I did, I’d save it for broadway and international dancing success, maybe a role in Stomp the Yard 3 or Dirty Dancing – Gutter Slut Nights. I wouldn’t waste my talent on the street.

This is a video of some dude dancing on the street in NYC, he’s not the same guy I saw because I live in Montreal, but he’s fucking awesome and his dance doesn’t piss me off in a “I’m so in love” kinda way, it screams I do shit alone and I don’t give a fuck, that’s why I wear me some Jazzy Pants.

Posted in:Dancing|stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

06

Jul

I am – Jennifer Garner Surfing of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jennifer Garner surfing in Hawaii on the 4th of July. I think she’s been in Hawaii surfing for a couple of weeks now and I am a little jealous. Not because every piece of white trash in America’s dream vacation is Hawaii, but because surfing seems pretty cool.

I keep telling people that when I stop doing this website I am going to move somewhere and surf all day, just because people who surf look relaxed, healthy and like getting fucked up. They also have chicks flocking to them in bikinis. The only problem with my surf dream is that I weigh about 300 lbs and although being fat and pasty isn’t stopping Jennifer Garner, it will stop me because I am considerate to other people. Sure, she had a kid and she’s really not even that fat but she isn’t hot and that’s just as bad as being fat, maybe even worse.

Chicks who have kids like use the kids as an excuse for being fat and it seems to be accepted as fact. Reality is that the bitch is just lazy and decides to never go back to their pre-birth weight and would rather sit at home eating donuts until their husband leaves them for the secretary at their office jobs. Sometimes dealing with the wife crying about how she’s devoted her life to you, worked so hard for the family by watching Soap Operas all day and never getting off her fat ass to work at having any sex appeal for the husband to want to stay with her is worth going through to have some fun.

Either way, I also hate the water, never travel and I am too broke and lazy to make a move to get to a surf spot, but it’s still a nice dream….one that keeps me going….

2007

06

Jul

I am – Lohan Partying of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan is partying with friends and family and must be sober. There is no way that she told everyone to make sure to keep drinks inside the party so that the paparazzi don’t see booze in anyone’s hand. It’s all a matter of protecting the machine that is Lohan and that means not outing the fact that girl just wants to have fun.

I used to know a dude who was addicted to heroin. I’d hang out with him everyday because he worked in the same warehouse as me. He would go home to play videogames and shit everynight and never wanted to get drunk with me. I ended up leaving the job for being fired for trying to look up one of the employees skirt or something equally lame and embarrassing to come home and tell your wife you got fired for. I ran into dude about 5 years later while meeting one of my friends at Narcotics Anonymous and that dude was there. When I asked what he was addicted to or who he was meeting he told me that he had a heroin addiction for 10 years, and was using when I was working with him, I just had no idea.

I think it’s safe to say that Lohan is playing that same stunt on all of us, only she’s got a budget. So she doesn’t have to say she’s going home to play videogames, she can throw sober chainsmoking no booze or drug parties. All these people are hired actors to play the part of friends and family in the dramatic life of Lohan. Shit is like the Truman Show where in reality people only talk to her because she’s Lindsay Lohan and some mastermind behind the scenes is directing them and paying them all to do and act according to the script.

Shit’s a fucking social experiment and the point of the story is don’t trust everything you see, but you can trust that she’s got great big titties to go with her great thick thighs that we will hopefully all see when the mastermind writes it into the Lohan Plan.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

05

Jul

I am – The First of the Nick and Vanessa Pics to Surface…..

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So you’ve all heard the story, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo went to Mexico to celebrate their one year anniversary. Nick and Vanessa decide to have sex in the hot tub. Some creepy Mexican photographer who I wish I knew was there to witness the whole thing and get pictures. Nick and Vanessa put a stop to this shit before any of us got to see the uncensored pics.

One of my readers sent in what he called the uncensored pics, but they are pictures I had already seen and they are censored because there’s penetration shots, but I figured I’d pass it onto you. It’s almost 5 am, I am tired and I have no real interest in telling you the story about how I always planned to dump my wife on one of our anniversaries because I thought it would be funny to force her to get off her ass and go out to buy me a bottle of scotch and light up candles trying to be romantic then telling her that I don’t think shit’s working out, but that’s just because I am an asshole and resented her for breaking my penis by being so fat. Reality is I would never leave her, she pays my rent and is the mother of my stepkids and I am not prepared to venture out into that cold scary world alone, but if you’re a little more ambitious than me, I think you should do that to one of your girlfriends. I know you’ve never had a girlfriend, but you can’t go through life thinking that you’ll never have one, you just have to have hope.

The same hope I have to see a Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo picture with some fucking cum shot action to her face or something equally exciting, even though I can only assume she’s into taking load internal because that’s how Hollywood seems to roll, or role, I never know which role or roll to use.

Posting these pictures will land me a Lawyers letter from these amateur pornstars, at least they’ll know my name and reality is most people have had sex at least once, it’s not that big of a deal, maybe they need to stop taking themselves so seriously, it’s not like anyone in the ‘industry’ takes them seriously.

To See The Censored But Obvious Giving It To Her From Behind Pic
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

28

Jun

I am – Tennis Bitches of the Day

1 Comment »

So I don’t really watch sports ever because I am not a real man. I was asked if I was gay yesterday because i had my hand on a dude’s shoulder. I was drunk and trying to keep myself from falling but still didn’t take offense to the question. I know that real men don’t run sites like this because they are too busy doing construction but reality is that dudes don’t get me hard and never have. Unfortunately, either do women but that is because I have a medical problem, and I keep on trying.

In my life I never thought for a second that I was fag, I always was fascinated by pussy way too much, so much that I would rather watch a porn than watch a bunch of dudes in tights tackling each other. To me sports were pretty fuckin’ homo and even people who played sports were semi-homo too because to shower with a group of men while slapping their asses and thinking about gangbanging the cheerleaders never seemed 100 percent straight. So that said, I am okay with holding a dude’s shoulder, I am ok not watching sports and sticking to watching porn, I am okay with jocks thinking I am a pussy or a fag because I won’t shower with them but when sports become porn, I always make an effort to tune in…

These are some pictures from Wimbeldon of Girls Playing Tennis, and to me this shit is better than porno, bitches bend over, cry screams of pleasure like they are taking it up the ass, flash their tennis panties non-stop, tits flop everywhere, camel toes always happen, and that is why I like
spending my summers next to the local tennis courts…Enjoy.

I guess the shit I love about Pro Tennis though, is that all these Russian bitches dominate and I know they have cousins out there with a lot less broad shoulders and a lot less muscle mass that are totally mail order…and mail order brides are the new high school sweetheart. True Story.

Daniela Hantuchova

Maria Sharapova

Maria Kirilenko

Tatiana Golovin

2007

27

Jun

I am – Daisy Fuentes Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

I know that none of you really care about Daisy Fuentes, she was hot in the late 80s and early 90s being on a lot of obscure shit like MTV Latino and in magazine spreads shit. She was considered some hot piece of ass for the era. Then in the late 90s she got to hosting America’s Funniest People and emotionally ate herself into disaster that lead her into all kinds of informercials for some Pilates bullshit but I could be wrong because I don’t have a TV. I had no idea that she was in her 40s, so I guess that means she’s lookin’ good for her age, eating pizza and drinking champagne making all her cuban brothers watch in jealousy as they eat their rationed bread and build rafts out of tires to make their own way to Miami to live a similar dream thanks to Daisy for paving the way for them….

I once had a Cuban hooker but you don’t want to hear my stories about communism. So I’ll just stick to the Daisy Fuentes Bikini Pictures.

Posted in:Bikini|Daisy Fuentes|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

25

Jun

I am – Brooke Hogan is Trash of the Day

1 Comment »

So it turns out that Brooke Hogan got fake tits. I figured that was the next step for her and you can tell by the scar in the armpit and from the fact that her tits are bigger than they were before. I remember when this slut was just a small breasted fat chick with a dream and now she’s pretty much no better than the whores I dream about getting lap dances from in my local strip clubs. The reason I call them whores is because they let you grab their tits for money and if you don’t have money they really want nothing to do with you and that would piss me off if I was lookin for love, but I am not, so I can handle the fact that they walk off pissed off when I tell them I have no money after making them chat me up for an hour. It’s actually one of the only things I find joy in these days. Because if I was a stripper I wouldn’t be working the loser in the corner who has been nursing one beer for the last 5 hours while wearing joggin’ pants….but I guess strippers aren’t known to be geniuses at least not at the places I go to.

The one thing that drives me crazy about strippers these days is their stupid legwarmers. The only reason I am posting these pictures is because of her fucking stupid pants. I got issues with these things and I see them everywhere I go. I don’t find them hot, I don’t care that a bitch is walking around with her ass hanging out and her legs covered up, I like full nudity or half nudity, but not no nudity, just annoying glimpses at what could be, from behind of retarded pants that distract me from wanting to see her naked because I am too focused on wondering what the fuck bitch is wearing.

I don’t care that Brooke Hogan thinks being sexy is being a stripper, it’s a pretty general mentality. A lot of girls and strippers think being a stripper is sexy and they all take notes from each other, making all girls run the same tricks. I go to fucking strip clubs all the time so I guess I partially feel the same way, but I like to believe the real reason I go to strip clubs is to try to figure out what drove these whores into becoming whores. What kind of daddy issues, broken homes, poverty and addiction did they face to resort to making a lot more money than they would working the checkout counter at the supermarket an to see some naked chicks, but not to be seduced by stuidity.

Either way, Brooke Hogan has access to money, comes from a big house with big cars and a big father, but for some reason she’s following her whore mother’s footsteps and taking this shit to the stage, big fake titties and semi-nudity, the only problem is that cunt isn’t showing her cunt and that to me is a waste of a stripper or someone who is so obviously inspired by strippers but is too pussy to take it to the level needed making her nothing but a failure to me…at least SHE’S been consistent on her quest to the pole….

2007

25

Jun

I am – Christina Aguilera at a Press Conference in China With Her Big Ol’ Tits of the Day

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I was out of town all weekend, like Christina Aguilera, only she was in China promoting something with her fat pregnant tits and I was up in the woods with no internet connection.

It’s called a low cost family vacation and what you do is hitch a ride up to the country with your neighbor and set up a tent he provides in the backyard of the shitty trailer park camp ground he’s been going to for the last 25 years and spend 2 days drinking his beer and eating his potato chips but the most important thing is to leave your fat wife at home and not tell her where you are going because she’s fat and wouldn’t fit in the tent, or be able to bend down and crawl in, but also becaue she is annoying and would constantly want me to babysit her while I want to do other things like sleep all day, try to spy on other campers all night in hopes of listening to them bang.

I always hated camping, even though it was cheap. I just found the whole concept stupid and I like beds more than sleeping on the ground in the woods getting eating by mosquitoes. But I guess as time goes on you realize that being at one with nature while drinking free booze and watching young french girls in bikinis is a hell of a lot better than sitting at your shitbox apartment eating ground beef.

When I was a kid, I was sent to some bible camp by my “foster/adoptive” parents in texas. The fucking thing was a week of Jesus but on the second night there, I snuck out to wander the grounds and shit, I came across 2 of the councillors, who were probably 16 or 17 going at each other like rabid raccoons, bitch was sprawled on all fours and dude was slammin her like it was an order from god. He was committed to her shit, and I sat and watched as it was my first time seeing people bang and I was loving it. The rest of the week, when dudes told me to be good or filled me up with that religious propaganda I knew that they, like me, were full of shit….

I guess all these camping stories kinda suck, but so does the fact that Christina Aguilera is married and knocked up to some dude who may not be much of a looker, but is more successful than you’ll ever be, so I guess you can shit on him all you want or just accept that she is a wallet fucker and start earning for your chance in. Good news is that she doesn’t use condoms….

2007

25

Jun

I am – Christina Aguilera at a Press Conference in China With Her Big Ol' Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

I was out of town all weekend, like Christina Aguilera, only she was in China promoting something with her fat pregnant tits and I was up in the woods with no internet connection.

It’s called a low cost family vacation and what you do is hitch a ride up to the country with your neighbor and set up a tent he provides in the backyard of the shitty trailer park camp ground he’s been going to for the last 25 years and spend 2 days drinking his beer and eating his potato chips but the most important thing is to leave your fat wife at home and not tell her where you are going because she’s fat and wouldn’t fit in the tent, or be able to bend down and crawl in, but also becaue she is annoying and would constantly want me to babysit her while I want to do other things like sleep all day, try to spy on other campers all night in hopes of listening to them bang.

I always hated camping, even though it was cheap. I just found the whole concept stupid and I like beds more than sleeping on the ground in the woods getting eating by mosquitoes. But I guess as time goes on you realize that being at one with nature while drinking free booze and watching young french girls in bikinis is a hell of a lot better than sitting at your shitbox apartment eating ground beef.

When I was a kid, I was sent to some bible camp by my “foster/adoptive” parents in texas. The fucking thing was a week of Jesus but on the second night there, I snuck out to wander the grounds and shit, I came across 2 of the councillors, who were probably 16 or 17 going at each other like rabid raccoons, bitch was sprawled on all fours and dude was slammin her like it was an order from god. He was committed to her shit, and I sat and watched as it was my first time seeing people bang and I was loving it. The rest of the week, when dudes told me to be good or filled me up with that religious propaganda I knew that they, like me, were full of shit….

I guess all these camping stories kinda suck, but so does the fact that Christina Aguilera is married and knocked up to some dude who may not be much of a looker, but is more successful than you’ll ever be, so I guess you can shit on him all you want or just accept that she is a wallet fucker and start earning for your chance in. Good news is that she doesn’t use condoms….

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