I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

04

Jun

I am – Rihanna Hiding Her Forehead of the Day

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I think it’s funny that bloggers call big foreheads fiveheads because five is bigger than four, get it. It’s one of those witty play on words that makes them successful and me a waste of fucking space on the internet. I do like how all the abuse Rihanna’s been getting the last little while about lookin’ like an alien has made her make changes to her hairstyle, like making bangs that hide the fucking thing. I think she’s pretty hot regardless of her big forehead because I have no standards and I am too busy staring at her tits. I also realize that I have banged girls with a lot worse than a big forehead. I am talking girls who are missing limbs, who were drugged up, who had serious disabilities, who were fat, who stank like shit, who had what looked like an empty scrotum for vagina lips, who may have been men years earlier and a little extra forehead would have been a lot fucking easier to stomach. But since I was a pervert and a trooper, I pulled through. Either way, the lesson learned is that a little touch up paint may not fix a broken car, but a broken car is better than a scooter, because scooters are fucking gay. What I mean is that the more you dis someone, the more likely they are in making changes to suit your needs….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

03

Jun

I am – Sienna Miller’s Sex Video of the Day

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I posted the Sienna Miller Sex Scenes from Factory Girl a long time ago. The Weinstein Company emailed me threatening a lawsuit if I didn’t take them down. I don’t have any money to fight the Weinstein company and even if I did no one would pay attention to the site because I was getting sued by them, so I took them down. I am testing my luck with Paris Hilton exposed shit, but at least that will get me some TV time.

Anyway, there’s all this buzz that the sex scene was real and who really gives a fuck. Sex scenes in movies have been real for the last 40 years. I remember reading Jack Nicholson’s sex scenes were always real. But since all you care I am posting the raipdshare link to this video HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

03

Jun

I am – Britney Spears Thong Bikini Pictures of the Day

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For some reason this girl loves this thong bikini, she’s been seeing wearing it at least 4 times that I know of and I am pretty bad at keeping on top of this shit, so it’s probably been a lot more. I know she isn’t known for being hygienic or into changing or clean clothes but you’d think that someone with her kind of money could afford to buy herself 10 different thong bikinis. Unless she sleeps in the fucking thing, it’s takes the same amount of effort to put on a new bikini as it does to put on a dirty crusted up one. At leas then when she’d hit the beach and shows everyone what K-Fed did to her, we’d at least know that the pics are new or old….

I remember when I used to hang with a girl who was a lot like Britney. She wasn’t a popstar and didn’t live the lavish life of celebrity, but she did never wash during the summer. She would just go swimming and think that that counted.

I admit that I am not the best at showering or changing clothes. Right now I have no hot water in my shit hole apartment, but at least I recognize that I am not clean. I don’t jump in public pool and spray on cheap cologne and pretend that I am clean….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Britney Spears|Thong|Unsorted

2007

02

Jun

The stepHOTLINE of the Day

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The concept of the hotline is simple. Call me at any of these numbers and leave me a message. Tip me off on celebrity gossip or sitings, tell me a story, let me hear you and your girl having sex, masturbate on the line for me, tell me your problems, leave me a joke, do anything you want, just call in and I will listen. It’s the best way to reach me.

I will be posting the best ones up on the net. Let your voice be heard.

Local Numbers that will reach the hotline…


L.A.
1 (213) 784-1265

NYC
1 (212) 863-9676

Dallas
1 (214) 296-2141

Miami
1 (786) 507-5603

Chicago
1 (312) 267-0604

Toronto
1 (416) 848-1552

Vancouver
1 (604) 628-9879

Montreal
1 (514) 448-0315

Or click on the Egg’s “Call Me” button if you use Internet Explorer…Which I don’t so I have no idea whether it works.

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Cuddles.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

02

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I took some pill yesterday and it raped my insides. I haven’t been able to walk in about 18 hours because the pill raped my insides. I haven’t been able to eat because when I do I remember that my insides are raped. I know you probably don’t care to here this but I passed out early and slept all afternoon and night because my insides were raped. I didn’t get a chance to post my links yesterday because my raped insides forced me to sleep off the ass burn….

I didn’t get a toaster oven or any kind of prize from winning the Best of Montreal. Traffic didn’t go up and hot chicks didn’t send me pics of their tits. I did get asked to be on local radio, we’ll see if I’m up to it. I never really did any media before and reality is that the whole thing is pretty funny considering the radio would have never approached me to be on their show a week ago….The site is still a struggle and trying to knock down doors of the mainstream without changing my content so all recognition is good.

I realized that you fuckers who voted also voted for Lara Roxx the pornstar with AIDS as most desirable women – she made the list. You also voted the best pick up spot as St Laurent and Ste Catherine and that made the list too. Either this site is bigger than I think, or the local paper has no readers….

Either way, here are my links…

Alison Sweeney’s Got a Nip Slip
GO

Kirk Cameron Pays 20 Dollars to
GO

Jessica Simpson Suckin on a Spoon
GO

Watch The Booble Porn Topless News
GO

Lohan Lame Jill Stuart Ad
GO

Paulina Rubio Shows Us Her Pink Panties…
GO

A Video Called Girls Are Stupid…
GO

Rad Girls Play Pubic Hair Roulette and Loser Eats Pubic Hair Burrito
GO

Girls Making Out Topless Negotiations
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Maria Sharapova Upskirt
GO

Eva Longoria Dancing In Some Hot Outfit
GO

Danny Bonaduce Stripping Video
GO

Star Magazine Doctors Jennifer Aniston But Not the Way I’d Doctor Her…I’d Photoshop a Penis on Her Cuz It Would be Funny
GO

Some News of Fat Celebs and How Much They’ve Gained
GO

Retarded Brazilian TV Show Ass
GO

Lame Synchronized Swimming in the Park Video Worth Watching…
GO

Avril Giving the FInger To Us..That Whore
GO

Alyssa Milano is Not Lookin’ So Hairy in These Slutty Pics…
GO

Lesbian Cock Ronson Has Been Selling Lohan Out to the Paparazzi
GO

Ricky Powell on the Street for Video Movie Awards
GO

Weird Axe Beach Showercam Website.
GO

The Extended Kelly Brook Bikini Calendar Set of Pictures
GO

Here’s Some Celebrity Gossip of the Week You Won’t Care About including Nicole Riche and Jail, Some Gay Guy and Harry Potter
GO

Some Argentina Slut Named Jessica Cirio Stripping on the Pole Amazing Ass…
GO

Pro Wrestler Punches the Camera Man in the Face
GO

Scary Goth Chick Cam Show
GO

Rumer Willis is a Lesbian
GO

Hot Norwegian Celebrity Falls on Her Face While Skating
GO

Lohan is Really Committed to Rehab and Leaves to go to the Gym
GO

Samantha Ronson Gives Her Lesbian Cock to Nicole Richie
GO

Asian Nipple on this Cobrasnake Imposter Site Out of Montreal
GO

Some Dude Sent This Site Pics of His Wife and His Dick
GO

Some Miss Universe Named Cecilia Bolocco Topless in Miami
GO

Some Stripper Who Was Photographed WIth Yankees A-Rod Is Naked On the Internet
GO

Amy Smart in Some Photoshoot
GO

Lookin’ Real Good Sweetheart
GO

Photobucket Girl’s Vagina and Boyfriend Going Down On Her
GO

RadarONLINE Asked Me For My Favorite Links of the Week This is What I Sent Them
GO

Some Song Called “Dad’s Going To Kill Me”
GO

Lara Croft is 10 and Here are Some of the Best Lara Croft’s Naked..I thought Angelina Jolie was the Only Lara Croft….
GO

AFL Dance Teams
GO

Redo Boobjob of the Month
GO

Creepy Video Following Some Girl in a Short Skirt
GO

UK Dogging Video of the Day
GO

Comatose Patient Sex For You Freakshows Who Get Off To Weird Stuff
GO

Do you want sex? Help yourself out…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

01

Jun

I am – Gemma Ward is a Model of the Day

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I was watching the View earlier today while trying to sober up and they were talking about the HPV vaccine and how little girls should get it at the age of 9 to prevent all chances of landing warts and cervical cancer. They said that 30% of girls are banging by the age of 13 and I was pretty fucking shocked to hear that. When I was 13 I don’t even think I knew what jerking of was. I was too busy playing with barbies and learning how to speak english while avoiding crazy rednecks throwing horse manure at me in the seventh grade. They were cowboys and into that shit and not so into mexican immigrants…

That said, this is a model named Gemma Ward and she’s pretty much a big deal at least I am told she is….By the looks of the picture of her kissing that dude, it’s safe to say that I hope she got her HPV vaccine….sleeping your way to the top can kill you.


Bonus – Petra Nemcova at the Same Event

Posted in:Gemma Ward|Model|Unsorted

2007

01

Jun

I am – Courtney Cox’s Bra of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Courtney Cox leaving a restaurant in a sheer top with her bra exposes. I am pretty much naked all day because getting dress requires too much effort and I was raised by some pretty trashy people and even I put on some fucking clothes when I eat my lunch on my shitty salvation army couch. I admit part of the reason I put on clothes is because of a serious fear of landing scabies from the previous owners and having a barrier between me at the couch is pretty much necessary, but I still manage to cover up when I eat…

That said, I am all for girls wearing sheer shirts with bras exposed in public and encourage as many girls as I can to rock this look. Shit’s like flipping through a Sears catalog without killing all the trees, I guess that makes Courtney Cox a little more environmentally conscious than me.

Posted in:Bra|Courtney Cox|See Through|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

01

Jun

I am – Courtney Cox's Bra of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Courtney Cox leaving a restaurant in a sheer top with her bra exposes. I am pretty much naked all day because getting dress requires too much effort and I was raised by some pretty trashy people and even I put on some fucking clothes when I eat my lunch on my shitty salvation army couch. I admit part of the reason I put on clothes is because of a serious fear of landing scabies from the previous owners and having a barrier between me at the couch is pretty much necessary, but I still manage to cover up when I eat…

That said, I am all for girls wearing sheer shirts with bras exposed in public and encourage as many girls as I can to rock this look. Shit’s like flipping through a Sears catalog without killing all the trees, I guess that makes Courtney Cox a little more environmentally conscious than me.

Posted in:Bra|Courtney Cox|See Through|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

01

Jun

I am – Nicole Richie Still Has Nipples of the Day

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I hate Nicole Richie. Mainly because she’s a rude little whore who loves ripping into people but when people turn on her she becomes this hypersensitive twat. I am basing my Nicole Richie opinion on the one text messages she sent me where she called me a looser…reality is no matter how loose I am…I am sure I am not quite as loose as her anorexic dancing hips. Slut.

I heard that she was pregnant because she had a little pot belly action in some pics but I don’t think anorexic addicts can get pregnant, they actually lose their periods. I think she just hadn’t taken a shit that week, or maybe bitch went and got her monthly abortion, it is the best for of birth control in a place no one where condoms….

Point of the post is that she’s got some oversized glasses and some erect nipples to distract you from her rat face, more proof that the loss of 2 of her friends to the law has her made her a little more considerate to humanity. I wrote about this already. I never said I wasn’t repetitive.

Posted in:Candids|Legs|Nicole Richie|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

01

Jun

I am – Katie Downes and Emily Clark Mud Wrestle in Xena Costumes of the Day

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I know all you virgin fucks are into this sci-fi fantasy shit that I never liked. I was never drawn to Xena the Warrior princess, action figures, dragons or space because she looked like a man and I was into girls with Vaginas who were human and didn’t have magic powers. Not to mention all those shows are low budget and shit quality and I find them offensive. I did watch the Simpson’s episode with the Collector and Lucy Lawless was a guest and they made fun of guys like you and your creepy sexual obsessions of warrior princesses.

I have no fucking idea what this event is but these 2 girls who I have never heard of are mud wrestling. One is named Katie Downs and the other is named Emily Clark. I am pretty hungover and slow moving – so this is all you’re getting out of me until the next post.

Posted in:Emily Clark|Katie Downes|Mud Wrestling|Unsorted|Xena