DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

03

Jan

Kate Upton Tight Leggings of the Day

Kate Upton is out here reaffirming what I’ve always said about her and her career that was bought by her family because they are rich. Her grandfather invented Whirlpool (the appliance company)….

The entire time she was getting all that hype all those years ago, when she was around 18 years old, I knew she would grow into the tits…and not in a good way…in a girl is going to end up DUMPY as shit…and even in her tight pants…she looks dumpy as shit….sure she’s older now, but there are 45 year olds you want to fuck that look better than this…so we can assume that she was just a product of marketing and you all bought into it…cuz of the tits.

Tits…the most powerful of drugs.

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Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Inka Williams Nip Slip of the Day

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Inka Williams is probably the best young hot thing to come off of Instagram to become a legit model.

She’s hot and you may or may not be able to see her nipple in this pic, which is all you care about, you toxic masculine misogynist pervert who reduces women down to their bodies and ignores the fact that the young daughter of Vanessa Williams, or maybe Montel Williams, or maybe Venus Williams….is out here trying to improve the world through her craft…of being a half naked chick on the internet because I don’t reduce these women to their bodies…they DO…and I fully appreciate them for that.

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Posted in:Inka Williams

2020

03

Jan

Selena Gomez Bikini of the Day

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In tragic news today….Selena Gomez has died.

No wait, that’s just her in a bikini being fat and weird looking for all the face injections she’s got in efforts to compete with her one true LOVE – Justin Bieber’s – wife he married to escape the wrath of his psychopath who was in and out of rehab while trying to deal with her emotions thanks to celebrity kids being FUCKING NUTS.

I don’t know why she looks so pale, shiny and bloated, but it could be her terminal disease…which I guess is erotic to some of you out there with K-Fed hustle on the brain…knowing if they get in with her, she’ll die off soon enough, leaving you their fortune….all for putting up some manageable shit that comes with a crazy egotistical bitch…that probably isn’t too far off the mark from what you deal with in your daily life with women with far greater reward…

I am sure countless dudes would put up with a whining rich entitled brat like Selena Gomez….for a chance to get at that money…..like you were her parents….who probably took all her childhood acting money.

Anyway, she’s too important, relevant, successful, coveted, rich to be the depressive loser she is. Get it together girl….you look like shit.

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Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Britney Spears Bikini Yoga of the Day

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Here’s some Britney Spears channeling some Jane Fonda Aerobic VHS…in a workout alongside Britney…like those televised Aerobic shows of the 1980s you probably jacked off to when you called in sick….because girls with fit bodies in bikinis doing silly dances in provocative positions back when porn wasn’t accessible…is all we fucking had…

As Britney rocks out her last year in her 30s, after a lifetime of being imprisoned like some kind of Pop Music Nelson Mandela….she knows that this is the kind of erotica she can get away with now that her dad’s been forced to back off from her earning potential he held her captive for.

I like her middle aged mom of two thickness, but it’s probably because she’s Britney Spears….

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Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Tallulah Willis Bikini of the Day

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Tallulah Willis is one of the Three Willis Sisters that I used to make fun of, but that I now think are pretty amazing, and not because they post provocative pics of themselves on social media, sometimes edging on the line of incest….maybe it’s because of that….

It’s also because they are just rich kids who don’t need to work and who spend their lives just chilling…everyday a weekend thanks to Mom and Dad being useless but very high paid actors…in an industry that has shaped AMERICA in the worst possible way to be what it is….the general population educated and influenced by Hollywood, good guy vs bad guy storylines…that ya’ll think is real life…because real life is far more boring…

I like that these girls post this kind of shit because they have nothing else to do. I like that I can see her full pussy. I like that she’s got her VAPE in her bikini bottoms where it belongs…showing the world how hard core she is….not scared of that VAPE disease…

I am just sad we can’t see DEMI MOORE in the background doing WHIPPETS while someone dies in her pool….

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Posted in:SFW|Tallulah Willis

2020

03

Jan

Sailor Brinkley Cook Bikini Erotica of the Day

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The only interesting thing about Sailor Cook Brinkley in a bikini, is seeing just how far off the mark she is from being her mother Christie Brinkley. Tainted by that rich guy sperm that made her up inside her mom…

I do find her attempts to follow her mom’s lead as a bikini model cute, in a kid trying to be like his cop dad by wearing his cop dad’s hat at a dinner party for all the cop friends to laugh at how cute it is kind of way….you know because we all know she’s not a “bikini model” but luckily in an era where non bikini models produce bikini model pics cuz they can since it is easy.

That is not to say I find little kids in cop hats the same as 20 something year old skinny blonde chicks in bikinis the same level of “interesting”….I’m just saying she may be in a bikini but she’s no fucking Brinkley even if she uses her mom’s name professionally.

Not that she needs a profession, her dad is a billionaire…and she’s set so all this is just LOLZ to her…and possibly things for you to jack off to cuz you’re a pervert.

I mean she’s still a young skinny rich blonde chick in a bikini…which is never a terrible thing….plus whoever gets to fuck her can stare at pics of her mom before diving in…you know to get in the mood…knowing that this came out of that bikini cunt.

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Posted in:Sailor Brinkley|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Chantel Jeffries Fucking Diplo in the Ocean of the Day

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Chantel Jeffries is a known star fucking whore, she was fucking rappers and basketball players while driving around in a Kia and not making much money with all her suckin and fuckin. She did it for the clout. I think she may have been the instagram hooker who slid into the DMs of the famous dudes like Bieber and was in the car when he got arrested in Florida.

You know a stripper who understands technology….a tech savvy stripper….unlike girls who still work as street hookers that I look at confused. Don’t they know no one leaves the house? Maybe a smart phone would be a good investment to get more clients, plus you can sell it for crack in a pinch.

Apparently, she’s fucking fellow star fucker Diplo in the ocean in Tulum….showing off her tits now that she’s had her implants removed…because her and Diplo both have a level of “celebrity” of their own…but really both understand the importance of mooching the fuck off talent greater than theirs…to become bigger than they could on their own. Fame whores.

I mean he did get his start by fucking M.I.A. when she was a huge act – and using that to create Diplo you know today…and that bitch was a hairy fucking Sasquatch looking thing. No standards if it means money/fame/success. Like putting your dick in a farm animal in exchange for success….some “I’ll put my tongue on that turd for 1,000,000 dollars”….only Diplo was able to leverage that tongue on a hairy turd into HUNDREDS of millions of dollars…because people see him as “that cool guy Diplo”….

Diplo is killing it. He’s richer than pretty much anyone in the music industry, he’s attached to anyone who goes viral or does anything worthwhile, and it’s pretty clever…he has all these groupie fucks just sucking his dick to get close to the action…whether they are producers or DJs or sluts….which makes me wonder why he’d waste his cheating on his baby momma with this trash…there are way better and hotter whores out there that I’m sure he’s also fucked….because why the fuck not take advantage of where you’re despite all them back freckles…

I feel like fucking Chantel Jeffries is low hanging fruit…but probably better than the girls he has in each city around the world to fuck….I’ve seen some of them and they are bad…in a do better Diplo because you can….there is so much hot pussy out there. Why end up with this dog shit. Makes no sense.

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Posted in:Chantel Jeffries|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Gigi Hadid Side Boob of the Day

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Gigi Hadid is Miss January in some shitty magazine’s bullshit 2020 Calendar that I assume is recycling the content they’ve either produced in 2019 or before 2019…because Gigi Hadid’s been irrelevant the last few years from my vantage point…

What a shitty way to start your new year, with some useless rich kid twat with nothing to offer the world, who isn’t even hot, but who had a pervert dad who fucked Sugar Baby models and felt that investing in his daughter’s careers and presenting them as models was good for his dick. All the aspiring models would come or fake cum to him in hopes to get to hang with his girls….it’s some next level DAD FUCKING DAUGHTER’S BEST FRIEND situation. Very manipulative but rich dudes are weird and people still want to be around them.

I have a personal hatred for V Magazine because they once ran a model contest for their Men’s magazine called V Man. I had a lot of website traffic at the time and some loyal readers helped me beat all the other male models to get the most votes back when trolling was fun.

They never honored the fact that I won, ignored the fact that I won, so Fuck Va Magazine and the Gigi Hadid they are trying to make themselves relevant with.

NOT TO MENTION…shitty fucking shoot bro.

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Posted in:Gigi Hadid

2020

03

Jan

Ella Eyre in a Bikini of the Day

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Ella Eyre is some up and coming popstar / singer songwriter/ that you’ve never heard of from the UK. The UK pumps out shitty popstars and have for decades…sometimes they break into the USA like the Spice Girls…and sometimes they end up on “I’m a Celebrity Get me Out of Here” or whatever the other UK reality shows with their “celebs” you’ve never heard of they end up on.

She’s got about 450k followers on instagram and I guess you need over a million to pretend that you’re relevant….since most of those followers on instagram influencer accounts are robots from RUSSIA…

I don’t know if she’s hit the USA yet because I don’t listen to any new music and haven’t really since I was about 20 years old…so it’s not a jaded and bitter old guy saying “music today is shit”….even though music today is shit.

I do know she has a wikipedia…her father was Jamaican, and her mother is Maltese. She was a swimmer before a singer which I guess is why she’s been posting bikini pics….I mean besides trying to get more attention to herself because people like bikini pics.

Posted in:Ella Eyre|SFW

2020

03

Jan

Sarah Shahi Topless of the Day

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I have never seen anything that Sarah Shahi has been in, so I really have no connection to her or her celebrity at all.

I’d say that I don’t give a fuck about her because I haven’t seen her in anything, but for the first 5-10 years of writing the site, I didn’t watch TV or Movies for fear of it tainting my GENIUS ideas I had for an Entertainment empire, the Next Walt Disney but for low level content that isn’t quite mainstream and isn’t quite porn…just walking that fine line of “waste of time”…

So, I think my not caring about her has more to do with her being 40 fucking years old, and topless or not, that’s gross, even if I’m older than 40 years old…I avoid girls that age.

She is the daughter of Abbas Jahansouz Shahi and Mah Monir Soroush Azar. Iranian…and as you may or may not know World War 3 may be starting thanks to US killing top General…so her Iranian from TEXAS tits are newsworthy and relevant…at least for today…since US killed that Iranian top General….

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Posted in:Sarah Shahi|SFW