DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2018

03

Jul

Lady Gaga Bikini of the Day

Lady Gaga is being a faggot somewhere…

There is no way that she’s 100 percent woman…and there’s a reason she targeted the gay community as one of their own…and that’s likely because gay guys like “fabulous” things and because gay guys like mainstream pop bullshit and are easily won over…and this loser was able to fucking win..thanks to an ability to sing and play piano and mask that talent with over the top costumes and the weirdest madonna impersonation ever.

She is not hot, so she had to go after people who don’t want your pussy…even if she’s sexualized herself, and we’ve all seen her naked, it hasn’t always been amazing…mainly cuz of that troll face…it looks lik she’s the IRS coming to collect taxes owed..and I don’t really get the appeal…but she’s rich and I don’t need to get it..and I can still look at her in a bikini…which I guess is my innate talent…the ability to look at pussy in bikini and enjoy it even when it’s vile…like this scam…another one using soundwave engineering to manipulate our brains into hearing and memorizing her songs…she’s got us by the brains….and here are her sloppy tits.

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Posted in:Lady Gaga|SFW

2018

03

Jul

Megan Samperi Topless of the Day

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Megan Samperi is topless..

I am not even going to bother googling her, I know her story, at least I’ve written it in my head…and here it is in the picture form.

You come to this site three times a day, so don’t act like you don’t know what is going on here…girl told she’s hot, decides she is hot, thinks she can get big on instagram so she doesn’t have to get a real job, does instagram…so she doesn’t need to get a real job…realizes nude shoots and collabs with photographers with an audience is marketing…does that…ends up on drunkenstepfather…never finds out…because it’s drunkenstepfather not anything relevant like Daily Mail…

I like her name because it reminds me of Campari…which all the lame “mixologists”…who anyone who calls themselves a mixologist when they are a bartender is already the worst…well they love Campari…and they are putting in their drinks…like it is the reason the 14 dollar cocktail is 14 dollars and doesn’t get me wasted….like straight rubbing alochol…and I don’t hate Campari….or any Alochol for that matter…it’s just making me feel a little thristy…like Megan Sampari…spritz spritz…

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Posted in:megan samperi

2018

03

Jul

Kendall Jenner Back at it with the Pussy Dance of the Day

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More of a slight pussy wave than a full on pussy dance but still a pussy dance..

For those of you who don’t know what a pussy dance is, it’s an instagram movement that girls are doing everywhere…where they lead with their pussy…

I wrote out the basic steps here for you to share with your loved ones, moms and sisters, you may end up fucking this weekend at the trailer park, you know those late nights in the pool with one too many rum and cokes…

step 1 – PANTS OFF
step 2 – PUSSY PUSHED TO THE FRONT
step 3 – PUSSY PUSHED TO THE RIGHT
step 4 – PUSSY PUSHED TO THE LEFT
step 5 – PUSSY PUSHED TO THE BACK
step 6 – PUSSY PUSHED TO THE LEFT and RIGHT we call that the pussy wave
step 7 – PUSSY GETS JERKED OFF TO ALL THE MEN ON INSTAGRAM WATCHING THE PUSSY DANCE…

All the girls are doing it…Pussy Dance….someone needs to make the Gangnam Style song to go with the pussy dance…that person should be me…TRADEMARK COPYRIGHT.

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Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2018

03

Jul

Liz Hurley Stretching her Pussy of the Day

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Liz Hurley is grandmother aged – yet still whoring down in bikinis – which offers us a great lesson on this day before the Fourth of July…the single greatest day in American History and that is that none of you Americans should be trying this at Liz Hurley’s age, because I have seen you at your Walmarts and you don’t have this EURO appeal…and even the skinny ones, look like meth heads all toothless rather than magical like this sugar baby gold digging bikini slut still peddling the bikinis slutty…and making herself matter because of it…because her career was really not that memorable and we’d all forget if she wasn’t out there stretching her pussy…while instead we know her ass could actually stretch her pussy out and make a sail out of it…to coast down the great Mississippi like Huck Finn….

I’m drunk on American Flag Cudweiser…bottle cans…I like an early start to all bikini filled holidays….

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Posted in:Liz Hurley|SFW

2018

03

Jul

Elsa Hosk Erotica of the Day

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The Victoria’s Secret girls get paid bonuses, or part of their contract is based on their social media accounts…so they all have to turn to their instagram and whore the fuck down…using the basic tactics that all girls use to get follows…from Sally at the Starbucks who posts her bikini pics…to the top tier celebrities you know and hate…but appreciate their tits…it’s all a bunch of self involved assholes being slutty as fuck and I guess for people like us…we’re just on the receiving end…absorbed in this…getting sucked in by it…having it shoved down our damn throats over and over and over…eventually making some dudes crack and become sex offenders and others crack and become INCELs…who hate themselves cuz they can’t fuck girls like Elsa Hosk despite all the masturbation material she feeds them in her whoring.

I can’t imagine this being good for society…but it’s good to remind yourself that girls in bikinis are hot…whether paid for by mall brands or not..

The nice thing about Elsa Hosk other than the whoring is that she’s hot.

———————————-
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Posted in:Elsa Hosk|SFW|Stacey Poole

2018

03

Jul

Olga De Mar Naked “Model” On the Internet of the Day

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Olga is one of the least attractive names when you hear it…it’s like Olga…and you can’t help but think of an old Eastern European fat woman with a lot of body hair…making BORSCHT in the kitchen on a camp burner…because they have no running water – Communism.

But when it’s put on a girl who looks like this Olga De Mar, who I’ve never heard of before today, it becomes a whole cultural experience that involves buying women from the Eastern Europe who want that American Dream life…and are so desperate they sex work they way to get it…by getting naked and marrying old rich fat guys…

Who knows what this Olga De Mar’s story is, maybe she’s American already and I’m a racist pre-judging white people..

Is she a model, is she just a naked chick, is she a stripper or a bottle service girl…I don’t have the answers…I am not a prophet..I just see tits…

Posted in:Olga De Mar

2018

03

Jul

Aubrey O’Day Pussy Print of the Day

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Aubrey O’Day is hilarious on her quest to be an instagrammer

What the hell is this angle, and why do I like it so much…

It’s pussy forward on some plastic as plastic as they get woman that no one even remembers or cares about….but she’s taken it upon herself and fully decided it’s time to make noise again, in one last hurrah or something that I’ll never understand when I see these women do it, but that all these women do it, like they are all built and programmed to be sexualized porn chicks…and if they aren’t buillt to be sexualized porn chicks, they sure as fuck try to overcompensate with fitness, gym, plastic surgery, hair and make-up a whole lot of ridiculousness…that Aubrey O’Day has figured out is the best way for her to market herself…clearly..

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Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|SFW

2018

03

Jul

Emmy Rossum Topless of the Day

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Emmy Rossum is trying to be playful in her topless state of undress because thats what you do on social media…

I guess she’s forgotten that we’ve all seen her simulate sex topless on Shameless so why the fuck be coy about it…if anything I am fucking offended by her, as I have been for many years and I don’t entirely know why…since I don’t actually care about her or her story…maybe it’s cuz I can tell she’s a fucking phony, cocktease who only gets naked on TV because it was her only job option and does it without actually wanting to do it…tapping into some inner whore that barely exists…even if all women are whores…or who pretends she’s not the girl she plays because she’s an “actress” and the whole thing is a fucking lie..

Like show us your damn tits or don’t…none of this halfway shit…you garbage piece of shit.

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Posted in:Emmy Rossum|SFW

2018

03

Jul

Ariel Winter Spreads her Legs of the Day

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Ariel Winter spread her pussy in the gym – while pretending to go to the gym – because it makes for a good instagram whoring opportunity and it likely has something to do with her Modern Family Contract that she gets paid pretty hefty for – as they don’t want some fat bitch with a gunt walking around the set and eating all the craft services cakes like Ariel Winter has for a long time doing the show…allowing her to grow into this hormonally fucked up young monster…

Point being is that I am not buying this, but I wouldn’t mind being at the gym with her this, because i assume her spread legs smell like baked goods, or TEXAS BBQ….and I don’t even know if she’s from texas, I just know 12 hour smoked brisket…and I think she does too…

I don’t know why she keeps up the lie, I guess she’s got nothing better to do..but we can tell the GYM isn’t working for her….but I guess it works for her social media…

Ariel Winter is finally back at the gym

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Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2018

03

Jul

Rita Ora Pussy Print of the Day

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Rita Ora has figured out her angles…Pussy Forward in a skimpy bathing suit bottom…

I know, you’d think she’d be more about her big, and I’ll admit, fantastic tits, but why do that when you can try to make yourself look more seductive and lean…when your tits tell another story…

I guess what this has taught me as a person, to make me a better man, is that Rita Ora despite being a great set of tits, is so much more than that…as a human, as an artist, as a celebrity, as an overpaid puppet….and she proves that with her CUNT….a cunt that has probably opened many doors for her, because Chivalry is not dead, even when those doors are figurative doors like career advancement and not literal doors..like when you’re at the mall and that nice old guy lets you in so he can check out your ass…I am that old guy….a real gentleman…but that’s not that point…the point is…good Job Rita Ora…

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Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW