DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

10

Apr

Liz Hurley Running in Slow Motion on the Beach of the Day

It’s Passover Monday – which is a very important day if you are Jewish….at least I assume it is, as I am not Jewish and don’t know anything about this stuff, other than that I saw a lot of seemingly Jewish girls in tight hot shorts because it was the first hot day of the year and Canadians go nuts over that shit and strip the fuck down….

I didn’t see any bikinis, but seeing some winter weight in shorts…..is juicy…not that Jewish girls do winter weight, they do Pilates and Yoga and have the best trainers, unless they are the homely ones…..

Good thing I was in my soiled sweatpants I always wear…they hide my boners…even though sweatpants generally do the opposite for boners…thanks to barely having a boner…I blame obesity – but who knows…

The real miracle is that I still want to fuck old Liz Hurley in her bikini for her bikini business because I guess that’s what she’s about. It’s how she made it in Hollywood/ America and with Really rich dudes…

Posted in:Liz Hurley|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Ariel Winter’s Terrible Ass in Shorts of the Day

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Ariel Winter’s got cellulite on the front of her leg, that’s just how dumpy she is. But it’s nice to see her mooch boyfriend walk around with her, proud to be with her, because she’s famous and it’s good brand association, even though she looks like a dumpy fucking troll, pulling some FAT girl Body Positive – don’t body shame – bully – because all lives matter in this flimsy society of wimps..even fat girl lives…which goes against all of our core beliefs as humans….

She’s still 18 or 19 and young enough to not be unfuckable, but then again very little is unfuckable, the age counts for A LOT…but she will melt into the slop she looks like she already is…some JABBA the hut shit…and there will still be dudes willing to get in on that because they are weird perverts and she’s rich…

It amazes me that people find her hot. That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Candice Swanepoel Bringing Back the Sex Appeal of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is back, maternity leave is over, her starvation is still on but has paid off, after that whole birthing thing. She’s had her stomach dealt with in Miami so that the loose skin is gone, the tit sag that 90 percent of moms get gone, thanks to small implants, her face Botoxed cuz she’s pushing 30 and that’s what these girls need…and most importantly her vagina sewn up so that when she straddles chairs it doesn’t make her scream…in pain..not in orgasms…

I don’t know, moms who go back to modeling always freak me out. I mean sure she looks good – but it’s gross. Go back to being a mom not a topless slut on a chair trying to get media to land a rich husband…you’re past that….

I mean I always thought abortions were invtented to prevent this kind of thing, but here these girls are going and breeding….soon 80 percent of the Victoria’s Secret Roster – and Irina Shayk…will be fucking moms…not actually fucking moms…but moms….FUCK…

Their campaigns will be comparing SPANX and complaining about their husbands while sitting around Starbucks after Yoga class….

I NEED YOUNG BLOOD…but good ass shot girl…casual mom behavior you know…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Jesy Johnston’ stepGIRLS Snapchat Takeover for Q-Bong of the Day

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We had our friend Jesy Johnston test out our other friend Q-Bong’s product while in South Beach…all on stepGIRLS2 snapchat – because we are into doing friendly things with friendly people. It’s some Mr Rogers Sesame street – we are all god’s people so long as you look good in a bikini shit…..

This is how PRODUCT demos and Product Reviews NEED to be Done….

Q bong is a device for drinking, and I fucking love drinking, whether it’s frat boy drinking, or in the gutter in a ditch somewhere drinking, as long as there is drinking I am happy…

You see I am drunkenstepfather, so anything even remotely alcholic, from Rubbing Alcohol to rotting vegetables…I’m into getting it into me as fast as possible…

So with Q-Bong – you fill up a reservoir, SQUEEZE bulb that pressurizes it, open the valve and take on an alochol facial ideally down your throat like a good girl, as fast as you fucking can….

BRILLIANT…I know…and it’s also good to get other people drunk, because you know what happens when other people get drunk, just make sure they consent on video before you do anything stupid. Party Boy…

GET YOURSELF SOME Q-BONG NOW CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|stepGIRLS

2017

10

Apr

Magdalena Frackowiak Nude on the Beach of the Day

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Magdalena Frackowiak is a hot Polish, skinny, model who I have heard is a cunt…which is so shocking – because to some down on her luck, soulless Polish family created this tall skinny thing, sold her off to the world…through whatever channels it took….would make a bitch angry and dark….only to give her a contract with a huge brand, making her a million dollars a year or more, allowing her to live the American dream after the struggle and all the shit she’s seen and done….you’ve gotta expect a little “fuck you’ ego, annoyingness, and bratty behavior…because I know girls who aren’t VS models that are total materialistic cunts…you know that are the worst and haven’t seen anything this one has seen….so I guess it’s justified, at least that’s what Magdalena Frackowiak will want you to think while she throws some tantrum with her rich boyfriend – cuz you know these communists don’t date poverty…..

Posted in:Magdalena Frackowiak|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Kelly Brook Nude and Wrestling and Inflatable of the Day

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Kelly Brook is the worst…but watching her wrestle an inflatable while being a human inflatable is a fetish in and of itself…

I have a love hate relationship with her, which in and of itself is fucking weird since I have never met her and will never meet her, and really I am just having a relationship with pictures on a screen, which is probably not the weirdest thing I have had a relationship with, but it is up there…

She’s got these massive tits, that sometimes come with a massive everything else because she’s pushing 40 and like most girls with big tits she gets fat easily…but right now…she’s not at her fattest….

So that love/hate relationship with her is that I love big tits, they are fun. I love desperation that makes a girl pull out her tits in photos to become a titty model…and I love when it works to a certain level…because it encourages other girls to show their tits…but I hate that when they make it, they forget they are a titty model, they forget their whore roots, and think they are actual talent…

I do miss the days of making fun of her miscarriage…that I am sure was an abortion that led her to America to live out the America dream….

I don’t like this implied nudity shit…come on fatty…show me labia like you used to back when you cared…

Posted in:Kelly Brook|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Anna Kournikova is Back with her Bikini Top of the Day

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Anna Kournikova is the reason the site is alive…

I’ve had three major traffic on this site, where I hit over 300,000 people in one day, the biggest day was when I was given the Farrah Abraham squirting clip promoting her first sex tape and Gawker linked it up…

The second was the first 6 weeks of doing the site when Anna Kournikova was on the beach in a yellow bikini – pulling sand out of her vagina…a post that went viral before viral was a thing…it was 2004…a post that ended up inspiring at least 2-3 people I know to become big players in the internet space….a post that made me feel the need to update this bullshit for the rest of my fucking life…

So thank her for ruining my life, while staring at her hot Tennis player that was barely a tennis player but is still a Tennis Player her fucks Enrique Iglesisas….

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Rachel Hilbert in Maxim Lookin’ Good of the Day

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YOU CAN SEE HER NIPPLES…

Rachel Hilbert is some new recruit Vitoria’s Secret fashion model, I didn’t bother looking her up to see who her family is, or how rich they are, even though I assume that like the other recruits, she’s just another rich kid trying to validate her existence through modeling, which isn’t a new thing, it’s been going on for years…decades even…rich kids just look better and have the resources to go to all the cool parties and eventually make a career out of it, thanks to their whore mothers being hot enough to land their rich dads…you know how it is…

She did Maxim, she is looking alright I guess…even if I prefer seeing spread asshole, with vagina in it, it makes me feel like I can see their soul and that I know it’s real..

But If you’re going to book one client early on in your career, VS is a good one…and prevent you from pervert spread asshole photoshoots I crave..

BUT YOU CAN SEE HER NIPPLES>

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rachel Hilbert|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Monster Kylie Jenner Eating Tacos of the Day

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Kylie Jenner is a monster….

Kylie Jenner terrifies me….

Kylie Jenner is some weird product of Kim Kardashian’s period that crew in their basement floor next to Bruce’s vagina.

She is 19 but looks 45, her body shape fucking strange, her ass not that of a Jenner but of some cartoonist….her face all injected and looking like meat is stapled to it…a disaster…that has a lot of young stupid fans making her millions of dollars….despite how freakish she looks…

I don’t get it…but it exists…

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2017

10

Apr

Bella Thorne Nipples Pulling Down Her Pants and Showing Nipple Ring of the Day

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Bella Thorne posts racier content on her snapchat than her instagram – because I guess snapchat doesn’t live forever, or maybe snapchat doesn’t hate nipples, and Bella Thorne is an exhibitionist who is just having fun – like a candy coated Disney bred, Miley Cyrus type, tapping into the internet’s version of hip, edgy, and naked for art, feminism, body positive…but ultimately attention…and attention she’ll get as long as she stays fit, tight bodied, young, and an exhibitionist.

The world is really that simple. Give a girl a child star role in a Disney production and for the next 20 years…people will be interested to look at her tits, like they are interested in looking at all tits, but that her tits seem more important because they know about them, rather than having to dig through the internet to find all the amateurs putting out tits..

This one is real…she’s got an AGENT a Manager a TV show…Movies…and still is a little perv on social media…WONDERFUL.

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW