DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

05

Aug

Britney Spears Black Panty Flash of the Day

Here’s an obscure and subtle way to flash the world your panties, it’s get into a yoga pose and show off your leaner than usual, crazy popstar from the 90s, while showing some panties, because people fucking love panties, especially Britney Panties, that I would love to buy off ebay, just to see what they smell like, I’m thinking heaven, if heaven was a crazy person’s unshowered bacterial infection…which I’m sure heaven is….

She looks thin, amazing, I guess on the right balance of medication, and I’m a fan…and not just because I think this is her version of a safe word, you know to try to get you in in a “save me” kind of way, but that would be assuming that Britney has access to her social media, and this hasn’t been approved by a lot of people…unless she’s sneaking this out there for help, even though I think she’s too medicated for that…

Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2015

05

Aug

Whitney Cummings Fat and Still Annoying of the Day

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Whitney Cummings was the skinny, vain, obnoxious, annoying, not very funny, yet hot enough to book gigs, “comedian”….who ended up getting two shows…for her writing, because the entertainment industry is fucked…

The fact is that actual hot girls are getting acting jobs, without making jokes about being a girl, dealing with boners, and other relatable “dating” stories, that just suck….but since the market is women, worked…

It was a hook, she didn’t even have to be funny, but amongst the lesbians with asymetric haircut comedians, worked…plus lesbians don’t joke about sucking dick, which is the “fart joke”…of the generation….played out.

I assume now that she’s made it, now that she has money, now that she can afford to eat, she’s allowed herself to gain weight, you know grow into the tits that are the only reason she has a career…

And in being a fame whore, whore, who found her angle, she’s continued, like Chelsea Handler before her, by going to instagram with fame whore pics, to show off her new fat body, to make noise about herself, because now that she’s won…and is over winning, she’s gone back to making noise about herself…and she’s doing it by flashing her shitty fucking comedy ass..but it’s still an ass, and I am down with any fame whore, whether she’s rich and made it or not…

I call this series, not quite hot enough to be a model or actress, but hotter than most comedians, so it works….

Fuck Whitney Cummings…

Posted in:SFW|Whitney Cummings

2015

05

Aug

Miley Cyrus VMA Promo Pics of the Day

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Miley Cyrus is hosting the VMAs because I guess MTV is trying to get her fan base to watch the garbage award show, in an era where people are too busy on checking out their instagram likes, because they are self absorbed, or in Miley’s case, on Tumblr stealing people’s jokes…and personal style, and bringing it to the mainstream that doesn’t really understand TUMBLR, because they are too lazy to figure it out…

Doesn’t matter, Award shows are shit, especially fake ones by MTV designed to sell ads, even though all Award shows are pretty fake, let’s celebrate idiots..and these pics of Miley are Shit…

Fuck Miley Cyrus…like you were Stella Maxwell, cuz it’s good for business.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW

2015

05

Aug

Frida Aasen is Amazing of the Day

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Her name is Frida Aasen. She was born in Kristiansand, which seems like some religious amusement park full of bible thumping weirdos, either doing sensationalized evangelical curing of disease, or maybe just a place to repent your sins, including but not limited to jerking off to their 20 year old locals…because they are amazing..

Kristiansand, is unfortunately not a bible thumping weird place for religious freaks, but rather a town in Norway, that creates oddities like this babe…

She’s been on the cover of a bunch of magazines, she’s got 45,000 followers on INSTAGRAM – I followed her and didn’t realize, because I follow everything I see with tits…but will pay more attention to this, because she’s built like a fucking dream girl..

I don’t know what this shoot is for, but it reminds me of shit I jerked off to in the 90s, and would be shit I jerk off to today, if my penis wasn’t broken and I wasn’t so desensitized…

Posted in:Frida Aasen|SFW

2015

05

Aug

Natasha Legeyda Has Big Boobs of the Day

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Her name is Natasha Legeyda ….she’s a Russian / Italian, Suicide Girl, who deserves to be so much more than a Suicide Girl, because in case you didn’t notice, Most Suicide girls are tattooed up trolls, who I guess figure being tattooed up, gives them some edge or business to be nude models, when really anyone can be nude models, they just need to get nude, and they shouldn’t feel they need the validation of some site to do it…unless that site is DrunkenStepfather.com…because, well, I like casting couches……

Luckily, this Natasha nude model didn’t totally destroy herself with tattoos, because tattoos are disgusting, and should be saved for disgusting girls who need them to get published…while this girl just needs her tits…tits that are slowly going viral…because America fucking love tits…and she’s got tits…big tits…

Russian girls are amazing, even though they have no souls…and I especially love their willingness to get naked to make money or get noticed, because I think that’s actually empowering to women…you know…trick idiot dudes with your tits…it works and it is awesome…mainly because I get to see your tits…

Pictures are by Marco Michieltto

Posted in:Natasha Legeyda

2015

05

Aug

Ali Larter’s Showing off her Tits and BReast Feeding of the Day

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Ali Larter is pretty much a nobody…she was a flat chested actress who did a whipped cream bikini a LONG time ago, the movie was called Friday Night Lights, and she’s since gone on to get breast implants and babies, both of which she’s showing off on instagram..

We get it #freethenipple without showing your nipple / you attention seeking trash…I’m onto you…

Fuck Ali Larter…even though someone already did..and came in her when they did….destroying what was probably already a destroyed vagina…it’s hard out there for a Hollywood actress trying to make it, you have the access but need the rich guy to finance it…

Posted in:Ali Larter

2015

05

Aug

Aliana Lohan Promotes Demin of the Day

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Aliana Lohan is Lindsay Lohan’s hipster-ish sister, who used to go by the name Ali, but I guess is older and more mature in her life living in the shadow of her sister Lindsay Lohan, who even when doing her own music and modeling, is still just Lindsay Lohan’s sister, even when Lohan has faded into absurdity/obscurity, Aliana will always just be Lindsay Lohan’s sister…who only exists because their parents whored out her older sister, which I guess is better than being the one who was whored out by your parents, it’s a little less damaging on your soul, you can live a semi-normal life, and you can be seen as the cool girl with the famous chick sister, without being the one raped and pillaged, and even you can jump on board and pull money, and pull contacts, and make moves using her sister without being her sister…solid deal…

Too bad the pics are shit…That said, Fuck the Lohans

Posted in:Aliana Lohan|SFW

2015

05

Aug

Stella Maxwell for David Bellemere and Marie Claire of the Day

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Here’s a month old video from a one month old PHOTOSHOOT for Marie Claire by one of the more interesting photographers who started out with nudes now he’s here, David Bellemere….

I figure all this shit is the fucking same, it all overlaps, like Miley Cyrus’ vagina lips on Stella Maxwells face, because like Anne Heche, there’s nothing like a superstar lesbian relationship, even if expected in a world that doesn’t care if you’re a lesbian, to secure that Victoria’s Secret contract that they did…

So old hustle, for old news, solid.

Here’s Miley doing a little pussy eating demo with avacado..

Posted in:SFW|Stella Maxwell

2015

05

Aug

Khloe Kardashian Terrifies Me in Women’s Health of the Day

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Monster Kardashian, who isn’t actually a Kardashian, because she looks like her mother’s Ex-Lover and famous murderer OJ Simpson, and/or a Sasquatch…but I guess who is a Kardashian because her Kardashian father didn’t bother questioning his whore wife’s vagina, because she was a whore then and he knew what he got himself into, so might as well just keep up appearances, it was the 80s…and she could pass for Armenian so whatever…

That said, she’s got a TV show coming out, where she pretends to be Oprah, and I guess shes’ been working out/getting plastic surgery, doing media that photoshops her, as part of her attempt to shine , to be the focal point, instead of the basement baby, she looks like, and pretty much was, because it is LA and no one wants an ugly baby…

Here are the cheesy pics..

Fuck the Kardashians.

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|SFW

2015

05

Aug

Here’s the Victoria’s Secret Commercial of the Day

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This is a commercial by Michael Bay for Victoria’s Secret, it is 15 seconds long and it features their new hookers that they call angels because calling them hookers…would give them the wrong idea and make them think “oh fuck maybe this company views us as replaceable hookers”…instead of “OMG I’m an angel”…who gets paid very little, but who get a whole fucking career…makes sense.

The models are…

Elsa Hosk, Jac Jagaciak, Jasmine Tookes, Kate Grigorieva, Lais Ribeiro, Romee Strijd, Sara Sampaio and Taylor Hill

This commercial is garbage. It is as anti-climatic any of his shitty fucking movies, but more interesting and doesn’t even have the special effects…

The girls look like shit. The product looks like shit. The 15 seconds is shit. They could have done something with their 10,000,000 dollar budget, fucking close minded idiots.

Fuck Victoria’s Secret.

Here’s Candice, their old timer, pre-retirement, being replaced, which is almost sad because VS is all she knows…