DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sydney Sweeney AI Porn is Retarded of the Day

Lydia Bielen is the Instagram Of The Day

Horny Heidi Klum’s Tits Out in the Car

Horny Canadian Onlyfans Olympian Alysha Newman’s Tits of the Day

Nicole Scherzinger’s Got a Bikini Content Day of the Day!

2015

Jul

Petra Nemcova’s Nipple Shit Stain of the Day

No Comments »

The most impressive thing about this Eastern European model, is that she proves that Eastern European women are a breed of woman to fear, because even the skinny tall model version of them, can’t die in a natural disaster, when the person they were with was never to be found again…

That’s pretty impressive…and almost erotic…not her dying fiance, but a dead fiance makes a fantasy of moving in to console her before being her first post-death sex partner seem more attainable..

So here’s Petra Nemcova, Tsunami survivor…still alive many years later showing some areola…or as my weird immigrant calls it..the “shit stain” of the nipple…

Is it exciting, no…but is any of this exciting?

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Petra Nemcova|SFW

2015

Jul

Britney Spears Flexibility of the Day

No Comments »

If you’re like me, you’ve jerked off to something yoga related at least once…

Whether it is Yoga pants and how great they make asses look…or some spiritual hippie bitch you brought home from the bar who uses yoga moves in the bedroom trying to expel your sperm out of her…because spiritual hippie bitches don’t use condoms…or razors…or maybe it was Yoga in the park show put on by new mothers or a college Yoga class trying to get some outdoor in the park air…or maybe it was just to girl on instagram showing iff their flexibility and overall health….wearing shorts…

Well now, Britney Spears and her yoga flexibility can be another one for you to get off to, if you’re into this kind of of mom of two vagina pop..which I am…because it smells like money….and cheetos…10 year old placenta, K-fed and probably like it needs a shower or two…she’s certifiable and if I’ve learned anything from medicated crazy people…it’s that vagina health is never their priority…

She’s good, even if she’s old…she still bends…and that’s how I like my puppets…

Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2015

Jul

Big Brother Masturbation of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s a video for Big Brother a show that I am not interested in watching and have never been interested in watching…but that I am watching now…at least this clip of it…because it is apparently one of the contestants jerking off and smearing his cum on the girl he is jerking off with…

I don’t know if this dude is actually jerking off, or if watching a dude jerking off is something you are into, whether on Network Television or their webcast livefeed to keep their shit going 24 hours a day for fat, lonely, trailer trash with nothing better to do with their lives….but I assume public masturbation is, because it is the only way you can show people your pathetic dick…creeper..

All this to say, everything is porn, because humans are horny…stop repressing us mainstream media….let these two fuck graphic sex…instead of making them hide it under the covers like a bunch of religious weirdos…which they obviously aren’t, they are on Big Brother…

Posted in:Videos

2015

Jul

Lara Stone Models Purses of the Day

No Comments »

Lara Stone is a cunt who tried to sue me for posting boring as fuck honeymoon pictures…back when she was married to a relevant comedian….at the time when she was naked all the time in her photoshoots while being a model…because that’s what models do..they are bodies that sell those bodies like hookers…because they are hookers…who eventually start a family with rich people…like TV show creators…

Not that any of that matters, but Lara Stone is still pretty fucking hot, and just because I can’t get over insignificant lawsuits that never amounted to anything, because I am insignificant in the grand scheme of things, like if you were to ask her what DrunkenStepfather.com is, she’d have no fucking idea..but I can still think she’s a cunt in this one sided relationship…a cunt I would like to wear as gas mask…in the apocalypse that is my life..

Posted in:Lara Stone|SFW

2015

Jul

RIP MOTHERFUCKER the CHRISTIAN AUDIGIER EDITION Of the Day

No Comments »

I wonder how many times I said “I hope that fucking asshole from Ed Hardy Dies, so that these loud, trashy, mid 2000s clothes that made him a millionaire a few times over, dressing cheesy coke head women beating assholes in bottle service or the gym dancing to Tiesto…who don’t know they are faggots, because if they did, they would have better taste”….back when Ed Hardy was a thing…

Well he died of cancer, which is less fun and glamorous than a drug overdose in bottle service with his cheesy bros who made his shirts famous…

He was 57 years old and worth over 250 million dollars…because he figured out how to make and market garbage people would eat up…probably from working as a designer for other brands…and realized how he could make a ton of fucking money doing it…so he did…

He created a fucking style, trend and paved the way for assholes everywhere to look in the mirror before going out, flexing and really thinking they looked goood..

All this to say…Ed Hardy will never die…it will forever live in a dark place in my heart…and Christian Audigier had the last laugh becaue you know as well as I know that he probably hated the shirts as much as we did…he just loved every dollar they made him….he turend shit into gold…

RIP Motherfucker

Ed Hardy will never die…Here he is tanned with a model…because #goals…

Ed Hardy will never die…Here’s Ashley Tisdale’s ass in 2008 wearing her Ed Hardy because she was paid to, or maybe because she thought it was cool and has no taste because she’s a robot..

Posted in:RIP Motherfucker

2015

Jul

Trashy Ariana Grande’s Apology of the DAy

No Comments »

Here’s Ariana Grande’s apology…”taking responsibility for her actions that she’s so disappointed in herself about because she was filmed without her knowledge and she’s young as still has a lot to learn…by her mistakes…this is going to make her a better person…we all make mistakes….I’m so embarrassed but instead of crawling under a rock I am going to use my voice…to make me more fucking money….”…

I didn’t listen to it, but I can assume it is a media trained approach written by a PR team to “right this wrong”…typical nonsense in popculture…instead of letting these people burn, we let them apologize and eveyrthing goes back to normal because no one actually cares about what she said, we’re too busy taking selfies…and she makes people too much money…so she’ll be fine, this is just “PR SPIN”…to really say it’s ok..

I am not American, but I think an American is allowed to say she hates Americans…even when selling them products…because why the fuck not, it’s the land of the free, let this brat hate on the land of the free because she is free to do so..she’s a citizen, whatever…

Just don’t make her retract her statement…because of Album sales and promoters pulling out on her…unlike all the black dudes she fucks…it’s embarrassing and annoying…they do this all the time…

Let her be herself and have an actual shitty opinion, rather than a collective un-offensive public opinion, it is refreshing that she’s a human…but her uneducated spoiled brat living the American dream as a pop star, because fame is all that really matters in America…is playing a bigger part of American culture than the average person…she’s part of their distraction tools to make you fatter and dumber…NOISE..DISTRACT…DIVIDE…CONQUER…which makes her hating America werid…

I would prefer her to stand by her statements…and let the fans boycott her instead…this attempt to rebuild, fix what she did, when it’s not what she actually thinks…is just more lies…when we want the truth…she still has a problem with the America she hates…no matter how fast she tries to back pedal cuz she sees dollars disappearing.. I hate it…if you offend people stand fucking by it…

What can’t be forgiven is that she licked that donut, making me doubt the cleanliness of donut shops and buffets everywhere…GERMS!! Disgusting…pig of a girl…

No more apologies…

Posted in:Ariana Grande|SFW

2015

Jul

Rachel Leigh Cook in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Remember Rachel Leigh Cook? Either do I, but apparently one of her loyal fans does and still follower her on the internet…and apparently she’s one of these three girls..I just have no idea which one…because being the love interest in late 90s romantic comedies or teen comedies…doens’t make someone memorable to me, but in my defense, I don’t remember much about anything…it amazes me when I am out in public wearing pants or matching shoes…it happens most of the time…but every time I’m like “how did that happen”…

I guess what I am saying is that I am dead on the inside…like LeAnn Rimes…who also posted a bikini pic…and who I do remember….because she never seems to disappear…

Posted in:Rachel Leigh Cook|SFW

2015

Jul

Kylie Jenner Amazing for Snapchat of the Day

No Comments »

Kylie Jenner is probably the most damaged of the Kardashians….

The older 3 or 4 were adults when Kim’s sex tape came out before the TV shit happened….so they lived a relatively normal rich kid life in the 80s and 90s…as these trashy LA rich kids did…

But this one is the bottom of the barrel…the last in a line of shit…the one who the family was too busy to pay attention to when she was in her formative years, you know traveling, making money, being famous…

This one knows nothing but the weird Truman show life they created. The fake relationships, the dad becoming a woman, the family becoming rich as fuck scamming the world…and she is just another fucking prop…and only 17..

At least the other Jenner/Kardashian…Kendall…who is only a couple of years older than this one…but she’s still smart enough to go the route of instagram model…who books campaigns for Calvin Klein, while this one has gone hip hop video vixen…pretty much what Kim Kardashian looks like but is too rich to be…

This one is more of a Junior version of her brother-in-law’s ex Amber Rose…and she’s practicing her twerk…I guess this hip hop, big ass trend is the what the young people are into..the get fucked by old tranny fucking rappers….because that’s what her sisters do…and it turns out it is fun on snapchat…

Either way, very trashy for a rich girl. She should just rebel from the family, get educated and do good in the world..there is already enough vapid, attention seeking trash at that dinner table…thanks to having a whore mother with a dream…and a vagina willing to make that dream happen..

All this to say, teen tits in revealing clothing from snapchat..and she seems to have some race identity issues, seeing as her family is like the UN and she has no identity, I get it…but she looks light skinned, not white as fuck Jenner…weird.

And one more…

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2015

Jul

Genevieve Morton Sneaks a Nipple on Instagram of the Day

No Comments »

Genevieve Morton is the not very famous bikini model from South Africa, who I guess gets some consistent work thanks to SI becasue she is one of the veterans from Sports Illustrated Swim.

She had a window of opportunity as their busty blonde, but America is Patriotic and went for their own Kate Upton, leaving Genevieve in the dust…

I am a Sports Illustrated model hater, but not a Genevieve Morton Hater, I think she funny….

But I find the other Sports Illustrated models all pretty low quality, over rated, not really relevant in the grand scheme of the world, not what they used to be in the 70s and 80s, when actually the hottest of models, while these ones are just girls that the men’s sites like, because they have tits and are told they are amazing…..over and over again…

I really think the only value of being in Sports Illustrated is luring in really rich guys and charging them more for escorting…

I also think that there are a million, maybe more, amazing girls in bikinis on Instagram who are less obnoxious, less overpriced, and willing to hang…so why deal with phoney models…like Chrissy Teigen…who you may know as the girl drawing attention to herself for showing off her old lady tits on instagram, that must be paid for by instagram marketing…

Well, Genevieve is a less offensive Sports Illustrated model, she’s a little more subtle in her branding, and in her posting her nipples on social media, but she still is doing it….which is a good thing…

It was her birthday yesterday….not quite 18 anymore, but still busty and a good time….which I guess is what matters…

Posted in:Genevieve Morton

2015

Jul

Jennifer Lawrence Tits Sing Cher of the Day

No Comments »

Jennifer Lawrence showed off her tits for Conan, because her tits are awesome and have reinvented her as a performer, who I assume doesn’t like to break her work down to tits, but rather just raw talent, even though we all know that acting doesn’t require talent, it just requires someone willing to be enough of a self-involved, narcissistic asshole, who likes to look at themselves in the mirror as they rehearse their lines..I am not saying that as a bitter failed actor, I am saying that as someone who has lied his way through life, Oscar winning performances to get pussy,…and I know doing it on camera would just require a little bit of thinking what I am doing is important, when I am too busy trying to take the panties off with my mouth…you know part of the lie that got me in this situation..

That said, she’s celebrated, she’s award winning, she’s rich…but what matters is her tits we saw in the hacked pics…because they were big enough, young, and bouncy…the kind of tits that are so good that they would make a bitch love herself enough to be that narcissistic asshole who thinks she’s got raw acting talent..allowing her to continue with her lie…