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2014

17

Jul

Amanda Seyfried’s Hot Face of the Day

Mert & Marcus are the photographers who shot Amanda Seyfried for something too fancy for me called Cle de Peau …..I am assuming it is make-up, but I don’t really give a fuck. What I am interested in, is how fucking amazing they made this girls face look. I mean if she was actually this pretty, I wonder why it doesn’t translate in anything that she does…it’s like she’s got no self esteem, despite her millions…or maybe she has too much self esteem…I don’t know what being an unshowered, unkept, lazy bitch for the paparazzi means..It’s either “I’m so hot, I don’t need to get made up…or I hate myself and I’m a slob”…and based on the fact that she fucks Justin Long…when she could fuck anyone…even if he’s a dot com billionaire thanks to being paid in Apple stock for being the Mac Guy…she can fuck anyone who isn’t Justin Long…making me think…he’s more of a hate herself than love herself too much to bother…

Either, she looks like this..and I love it…and I can’t even see her big tits on her little frame…so that means she’s pretty fucking good, because I love big tits on a small frame and have liked monsters because of it, but this face could have no tits, it could be in a box in my basement, and I’d still want to stare at it…but maybe that’s because I have other decapitation issues to deal with….

Either way, good face.

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried

2014

17

Jul

Trying to Look Up Jessica Biel’s Pajama Dress of the Day

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Here is Jessica Biel…the girl who found the man who I assume she was a fan of. You know the kind of young starlet who got into acting because she learned how to masturbate watching Mickey Mouse club, you know just by sliding her hands in her panties while reading one of those teen beat mags…waiting for it to start to tickle….leading her to LA to hunt the motherfucker down, trapping him, letting him do whatever the fuck he wanted while touring, showing him she’d always be there for him, even when he fucked up along the way, forcing him to marry her, leaving him with no option because she’s been so cool along the way and no other chick would put up with that, or have what they have, leaving her to no need to work her shitty movies, so she can focus on her pit bulls, her fitness, and spending motherfucker’s money in her old lady pajama style dress I am trying to look up…

If it works for them, it works for me, but I prefer divorcees who failed at the whole marriage thing…they are far more fun to have sex with than those in lockdown…because they take far less work to convince…but I’ll still try to stare at any panties I can. That’s my commitment to panties.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Biel

2014

17

Jul

Selena Gomez Hiding her Implants of the Day

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Everyone has been so into Selena Gomez and her push up bras that could possibly be breast implants…they are buying into her attention seeking story that she’s playing up for the paparazzi…in what I like to call a diversion from the actual surgery she probably had…labia reduction…or maybe it was a sex change…or maybe she didn’t have surgery at all, she just likes people talking about her…

I just know she’s probably not wearing a bra here….and her tits don’t look as fake as they should be….so if she did get fake tits…it was probably the model size fake tits that don’t even count as fake tits since they don’t matter enough and aren’t loud enough…

Either way, she’s looking less bloated on LUPUS steroids than normal, I dig whatever is going on here as much as you can dig a sloppy body that bangs Bieber on the regular…which is actually more than I’d expect it to be …I blame the Mexican connection.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2014

17

Jul

Nicole Scherzinger Twerk of the Day

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If you want to stay relevant, even when you’re old and washed up, as J.Lo has proved before this Nicole Scherzinger chick…you twerk….and I watch…because a shaking and gyrating ass is a happy ass – or at least a happy me….which is really all I care about, even though Nicole Scherzinger can’t make me happy…nothing can…it fucks up my depression…

Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger

2014

17

Jul

Erin Heatherton for Ocean Drive of the Day

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Erin Heatherton is a Victoria’s Secret model, who I guess they lend out to other companies to keep her busy when they don’t need her…even though she’s one of the girls they’ve actually put into the mix by marketing her outside of Victoria’s Secret. You know one of the girls they lend to Leo to pretend he’s dating them, despite rumours that he’s gay….because I assume he has a percentage of the company…

The fact is, that these girls are all egos. They would never date each other’s man, or ex boyfriend, unless it was part of their contract and they never fuck.

I know how girls work at all levels, I know how dudes work…and I know even with A-Listers, when they can have any A-Lister, they won’t fucking play with fire and sure enough, if they did…the fashion show would be more of an episode of Jerry than the infomercial it is.

THat said, this Erin Heatherton is a fucking babe and I’d eat this ass no matter what’s been inside it.

Posted in:Erin Heatherton

2014

17

Jul

Izabel Goulart Still Does Pornographic Fitness of the Day

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There is a fine line between a practical fitness video and an erotic video of a lingerie model working out….and Izabel Goulart walks it…whenever she puts out videos like this, that I can’t imagine are to teach good technique, or show off her healthy lifestyle, but rather to show off her ass in motion…which luckily, as an obese man, is the only part of fitness I really like…

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2014

17

Jul

Ashely Greene’s Hard Nipples of the Day

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I have never heard anything remotely positive about Ashley Greene from people who have met her, worked with her, hang out with her, or have anything to do with her. I know girls who have been a victim of her sexual deviance and home wrecking, I know people who have been on set of her movies, the fact is she’s just Florida trash, who luckily fucked her way onto the right movie, landed millions of tween fans…only to date popular bands in that demographic, like the Jonas Brothers, who she actually pretended to be a virgin practicing abstinence with….because that’s just the kind of liar she is. This bitch probably lost her virginity at 14 trying to get out of the trailer park she’s probably from…yet she has the fucking nerve to pretend she’s not a fucking slut…I mean who the hell is she trying to trick…14 year olds…I guess…

Anyway, Twilight is over, Ashley Greene still lives, and part of living is hard nipples and camel toe, probably her best work yet.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Greene

2014

17

Jul

Emily Didonato and Some Nipple for V Magazine of the Day

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Her name is Emily Didonato. She is a model. She is probably best known for having sex with Jake Gyllenhaal, which like pregnancy, or herpes and AIDS, is up there with ultimate Sex Fails. You know the kind of thing that follows you through life, that tells the world that you’re a groupie, because anyone who knows Jake Gyllenhaal will tell you he’s the biggest, spoiled brat, 12 year in a grown man’s body around. This fucking probably cries himself to sleep because other male celebs win awards when he doesn’t. He is the definition of bitch, and the only reason any girl is with him, is for her career…making Emily DiDonato and her Gyllenhaal semen stains a lot less appealing, and the only salvation she has is the fact the Jake is more into having dick inside him, than putting dick inside her, or any girl for that matter…..

That said…here she is all sexy and romantic for V magazine…when I ignore her sexual past, she’s awesome.

Posted in:Emily DiDonato

2014

17

Jul

Top 10 Tricks at the ESPY Awards of the Day

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The ESPY awards happened last night. I can’t imagine anyone really giving a shit. I don’t know how much ESPN really matters, or more importantly, I don’t know how celebrating Athletes, who are already celebrated, really matters. I just know all the gold diggers, athlete fucking groupies, and possible athletes went out to the shit, I don’t know who 90 percent of the girls in attendance were, but here are the best tricks I found with my little to no actual research…

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10 – Kim Johnson

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9 – Draya Michele

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8 – Hannah Cornett

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7- Dara Torres is a Cripple Bitch

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6 – Sydney Leroux

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5- Erin Andrews – We Saw Your Staged Peeper Videos – To Advance Your Career – TRICK