DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

07

Feb

Georgia May Jagger in a Bikini of the Day

You know who I have a crush on…Georgia May Jagger…not a real crush because I’ve never met her…I just like the idea of fucking Mick Jagger’s androgynous mouth in the least gay way…set on a girl…he created when he wasn’t having anal sex with David Bowie…

You know, Mick, the kind of womanly man, who sang his big lips off and you’d catch yourself thinking, “if only those were on a girl, I could imagine the blow job of champions, but since it’s on Mick, I’m gonna pretend I have a boner cuz of the heavy bass, even though he’s really dainty”…

You know, his daughter…a model..in her bikini…making all that ok…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Georgia May Jagger

2014

07

Feb

Lauren Mellor is the Sports Illustrated Rookie of the DAy

No Comments »

Sports Illustrated is milking their magazine dropping by unleashing their ROOKIES…thinking it will generate some buzz…like this Lauren Mellor….who is some 28 year old boring as shit…at least on her BORING AS SHIT INSTAGRAM …who isn’t all that hot, but is from South Africa, and white…meaning she’s probably Blood Diamond rich and capable of buying her way into anything…

The pic is not as fun as this TOP 10 SI Swimsuit COVER post…

The pic is not as fun as this THE LAST 500 YEARS in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT COVERS

The pic is not as exciting as the video of her in swimwear from 2012…because I guess this isn’t her first bikini wearing rodeo…and ROOKIE means something else to the retard average man who still buys magazines magazine……

Posted in:Lauren Mellor

2014

07

Feb

Emily Ratajkowski Catalog Girl of the Day

No Comments »

Emily Ratajkowski is officially a Catalog girl. She went from topless muse for photographers looking for girls to take pics of topless, who ended up getting her cast in a couple music videos…to the girl in catalogs, interchangeable with pretty much every girl, because that’s her whole purpose, to sell motherfucking clothes…to the masses…and if this was the 70s, in an era before google, when you couldn’t find her countless nude pics, and you were forced to jerk off to the nameless girl in your mom’s catalog because they didn’t retouch bush or nipples back then, and porn wasn’t accessible at all..this would be a bigger fucking deal than it is..but I’ll still post them because Emrata is a friend of the site who doesn’t do anything to help promote the site..but liked us before she was famous which counts for something…and that something is that she’s one of those people who trades the fuck up…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

07

Feb

Miley Cyrus Titties for Vogue Germany of the Day

No Comments »

There’s been a lot of confusion over all the Miley Cyrus titty pics that have come out the last week…

Her PR team was on an aggressive push for whatever reason to get them tits out there as hard as they could..

So I posted them all as they came in, but if you’re wondering which magazine, which tit was in, these are the tits for Vogue Germany…and really these tits aren’t good enough to get all this talking about..but they belong to Miley…and she’s a Disney star…which makes this way more crazy…but still shitty tits…but maybe that’s just the antifeminist in me craving more perfection from a cunt who gets paid millions to be perfection…right….

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2014

07

Feb

Delianna Urena is Video Vixen who Gets Pissed on of the Day

No Comments »

Delianna Urena is a video vixen and this is either her publicity stunt to get known, or she’s actually being pissed on by an angry boyfriend who caught her cheating…

I like to think it’s a publicity stunt, because reading google searches of her…made me realize she loves calling attention to herself…she’s a fucking Video Vixen..aka a fat booty bitch who thinks she’s hotter than she is…

I mean isn’t this how Kim Kardashian got her start…before Ray J pissed on her she was just an overfed hollywood Armenian who had no ties to the Armenian genocide her grandparents went through…because she was into designer clothes and being a cheesy fucking bitch…who makes way too much money…and has way too much of an audience…

Not to mention, all girls like getting peed on, especially hip hop girls, …you don’t need to be named Urena…to like Urine…especially not when living your stripper life like this chick, who is well, built like this…it’s pretty obvious…it’s for attention..to get noticed…and I guess it worked…

Here’s some of her video vixen shit…

Posted in:Videos

2014

07

Feb

Farrah Abraham has a New Sex Tape of the Day

No Comments »

This is the best news ever….

THERE IS A PART 2 TO THE FARRAH ABRAHAM SEX TAPE

It’s one of those coming of christ, or at least of a teen mom attention seeker, who is doing it the right way, because filming yourself fuck when you’re a teen mom, is probably the single most relevant thing to be doing for a job, since girls who get pregnant at 16 aren’t emotionally sound…maybe even nymphomaniac attention seekers…and when the TV show gets pulled…shit gets real…

That said…it makes for a good porn…because THE FIRST FARRAH ABRAHAM SEX TAPE WAS AMAZING ANF FILLED WITH SQUIRTING AND SQUIRTING

That I can only assume the new one is going to have even more of, because the public wants more, and she needs to next level it and step her game up…

Point Being…I’m pretty happy about this news, even if at my core I don’t care about any of these fame whores…

It’s gonna be called Farrah 2: Backdoor and More and should be out in a few days.

TO SEE HER SQUIRTING THE FIRST TIME AROUND CLICK HERE

The New one looks like she’s on a sex swing…fun…

Posted in:Farrah Abraham

2014

07

Feb

Elsa Hosk Nude for Fashion of the Day

No Comments »

Elsa Hosk is a Victoria’s Secret Model…who gets it..and here she is posing in what looks like a merkin…which excites me because I love bush and all fashion accessories that simulate bush…it’s the future of vagina, especially for tacky girls who laser hair removed their shit…but I also like that she’s naked and not being ruined by sweatshop made shitty quality overpriced billion dollar evil empire lingerie at Victoria’s Secret…and going back to her roots of getting naked for high concept ideas…because any reason to get naked is good enough for me….

Posted in:Elsa Hosk

2014

07

Feb

Kate Upton Tries to do a Handstand of the Day

No Comments »

If you want to take pics of Kate Upton to showcase how she’s just a really fucking normal girl with nothing really to offer…the kind of girl who serves you at McDonalds and who sneaks one too many fries…you do it like this..

You get her unfit and non-atheltic body in a sweater, you showcase that she can’t do a handstand because she is unfit and non-atheletic and disproportionate..and you publish them like it’s art…

Even if it’s tragedy…totally misuse of sloppy massive tits on a sloppy massive body that like being exposed because it pays the fucking bills..

All this to say…weird..very weird..

Posted in:Kate Upton

2014

07

Feb

Heidi Klum is in Women’s Health of the Day

No Comments »

Whenever I see Heidi Klum…all I think is how Seal and his scabby scarred face…probably destroyed her genitals with his massive African cock as they lived out some kind of German Aryan race fetish that involved a lot of rape fantasy and feces…because she’s fucking german..

I guess I also think about how old she is…even when she’s in GIF for some Women’s Health magazine..where I am sure she doesn’t talk about how eating “negro feces”…while getting pregnant with dozens of his babies…is the elixir of a long healthy life…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Heidi Klum

2014

07

Feb

Candice Swanepoel Walking the Runway for New York Fashion Week of the Day

No Comments »

It turns out that when Candice Swanepoel is walking the runway in New York for fashion week….she is substantially…I am talking really fucking substantially less interesting than when she’s half naked for Victoria’s Secret, showing her lingerie and bikini body…if anything… I don’t understand why she even ventured down this road of trying to be legit model..just fucking focus on what matters…being half fucking naked girl…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel