DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

14

Jan

Scarlett Johannson Sucking Straw for SodaStream of the Day

Scarlett Johannson is getting really Glamourous jobs doing ad campaigns for Soda Stream, the Soda Company that banks off their fake Super Bowl ads that never get approved by the Super Bowl, because they are not Coke or Pepsi…but they are probably more relevant than Coke or Pepis, if not owned by Coke or Pepsi, because giving fat Americans the ability to make their own soda pops soft drinks in the comfort of their own mould ridden trailer home..is like massive…at least massive enough to book Scarlett Johannson to be sucking straws for their campaign…and I’m not posting this because Soda Stream pays me, I just like seeing fat Scarlett sucking away like she really believes in the product, because she probably does…you know she may even be doing this for free…

Either way, straw sucking face is erotic to me.

Posted in:Scarlett Johannson

2014

14

Jan

Christina Ricci Upskirt for Twitter of the Day

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Christina Ricci was an Original child star who old creepy men wanted to fuck because she was so hot…I remember she fell off around 18…rebelled, got tattoos, had huge tits, tits she ended up killing off in a breast reduction….which at the time was a tragedy, and now she’s pushing 40, and posting pics to the internet of her in a fridge, showing off her ripped fit as fuck legs….and I am kinda starting to remember her alien faced appeal like this was Addams Family Values or some shit…and I was masturbating in the back of the theatre or some shit…not that that ever happened…you can’t prove anything….there was no security cameras at the time.

Posted in:Christina Ricci

2014

14

Jan

Flash Robbing of the Day

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This is a great news to me…people are finally using the internet to link up and do activities that are illegal…I mean…I guess that’s what the internet is based on and they have always been doing bad things on it…but this flash robbery is a sign of the future, the revolt against the system we are historically waiting for, because if 30 people raid a store and rob it, the chances of getting caught are less than one…there are strength in numbers and it’s just a matter of time before the criminal masterminds figure out that shit, 10,000 people against 100 cops…is pretty favourable numbers….

Posted in:Videos

2014

14

Jan

Helen Flanagan for NUTS of the Day

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Glamour model Helen Flanagan who was once a super famous actress in the UK only to say “fuck acting, I wanna show off my tits, cuz tits are more fun to show off than acting, even though I can show off my tits while acting, but why would I do that, when I can just lay around and not get paid to be half naked in these mags that would probably still shoot me if I was still acting, but figure it’s better to commit to the whole Glamour Model bottom feeding full heartedly, instead of working on winning awards, cuz actors are shit”…at least that’s what I assume happened when trying to figure out the logic behind a girl who has a gig acting, but becomes a “glamour model”…instead…which I shouldn’t bother caring about, when I should just be staring at them tits.

Posted in:Helen Flanagan

2014

14

Jan

Ireland Baldwin Ass in a Bikini of the Day

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This Ireland Baldwin hustle is pretty entertaining when it involves her taking her 18 year old, 6 foot tall, big enough titty, 150 pound body out to the beach and into a bikini…only to post pics on instagram because that’s the shit that gets her noticed, and when you have two famous parents, getting noticed becomes a bit of a thing, since you don’t want to always live in their shadows…if only life was this easy for the rest of us, and I am not making reference to her being a rich kid with opportunities, but rather a girl with a vagina..it’s like all a bitch has to do is get in a bikini and all of a sudden – she matters.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

2014

14

Jan

Emmy Rossum for Complex of the Day

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I don’t like Emmy Rossum….and I really don’t know why. She’s not horribly offensive, and more importantly, she was a low level actor who managed to realize that in order to really matter she had to do nudity on cable…it would solidify her place in the world and she probably would have done it for free…you know just to next level her low level shit…which in theory is amazing…but for some reason, a reason I call being overrated and having it go to her head because this is the life she always imagined for herself and now she has it…she thinks she deserves it, and is an entitled bitch about it…

Apparently, she did Complex and i like the shoot.

TO SEE MORE PICS AND THE ARTICLE CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emmy Rossum

2014

14

Jan

Disappointed Fat Girl of the Day

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Here is a disappointed fat girl, which is actually pornography to me, because seeing a fat girl disappointed is the only joy I get in my married life. It is my passive aggressive way to deal with the hell that i am living…without actually choking a bitch out…

So seeing a fat chick getting male attention only to find out he’s gay…which is the same reaction she had at the all you can eat buffet when they ran out of cheesecake…is pretty fucking amazing to me…

No idea where this is from, but it plays with my emotions in a good way…

Posted in:Videos

2014

14

Jan

Alexa Vega Bikini Pics of the Day

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Alexa Vega recently got married and it wasn’t to Robert Rodriguez, the only person who has ever hired her as an actor, possibly because he Woody Allen-ed it and wants to sweep a little Spy Kids Roman Polanksi hustle under the rug and contractually to avoid prosecution by her and her family he needs to cast her for every movie…

Now she’s in a bikini, with big tits, making the whole Spy Kids franchise a little easier to jerk off to cuz you know how she turns out in the end, when she grows up…you pedo fuck

Posted in:Alexa Vega

2014

14

Jan

No Pants Subway Ride of the Day

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Improv everywhere recruited a ton of people, because that’s what you do when you have a huge internet following for being one of the original internet video sensations, that I am going to assume got a lot of people rich in the process of making dumb flash mob videos the general public liked as much as they like Upworthy or Buzzfeed…to get in their underwear on the subway, an idea I assume they’ve done before and that I am only supporting because I like people, even weird hippie lesbians who are into this kind of thing, in their underwear, pants off is the only way to live, even if they are built to never be without pants, in underwear that shouldn’t ever be seen…it’s still entertaining.

Posted in:Videos

2014

14

Jan

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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It’s still Morning in LA and I have pulled myself out of the gutter covered in homeless woman / cheap hooker that was once an aspiring actress but now she’s just a broken down shell of a woman…my favorite…

I think my motel bed gave me crabs but luckily it has wifi…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Ashlee Simpsons’ Engagement Pics
GO

Julia Pereira in her Bikini…
GO

No Pants Subway Ride 2014
GO

The Overpaid Celebs of Hollywood….
GO

Kanye West Punched 18 Year Old for Saying Racist Shit to Kim Kardashian
GO

Jen Selter’s Ugly Face – Hot Ass
GO

Jared Leto Nudes
GO

Emmy Rossum for Complex
GO

Workout Fail Compilation
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS