DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

07

Aug

Taylor Swift Non-Bikini Pics of the Day

Taylor Swift posted some artistic bikini pics that don’t involve bikinis…which is kind of Taylor Swift’s hustle, because she’s either a demon sent from hell or an alien planet to brainwash the world…who can’t show her mid-section because she’s got scars, or marking from her home planet…like genitals where belly buttons usually are…or she’s just insecure about her skinny little body which makes little to no sense….because its a skinny little body…but at least shes’ making an effort, just not quite as much effort as she should….I mean any under 25 year old in a one piece is a fucking fail, even if they are worth a billion dollars and not a failure in the other aspects of their life, they might as well be, cuz bikinis are the only thing that matter…obviously..

Posted in:Taylor Swift

2013

07

Aug

Diana Vickers Outty Vagina in her Bikini of the Day

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Diana Vickers is one of the new generation girls from the UK who actually has teeth and a bit of a body that you don’t mind seeing in a bikini, who you probably would want to fuck if you happened to be on the beach and saw her walking by, because she’s got a vagina, a vagina that by the looks of it is very fucking meaty, like some kind of alien invasion, or hormone in the food, genetically modified dick clit hybrid, all filling her Speedos like a European man…an outty vagina you’d probably want to give a handjob to you sick fuck.

Here’s a video of her…

Here’s the pics….

To see the rest of the pics click here

Posted in:Diana Vickers

2013

07

Aug

I Like Bad Bitches for Victoria’s Secret that’s My Problem of the Day

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Doutzen Kroes, Erin Heatherton, Candice Swanepoel, Barbara Palvin, Bregje Heinen, Adriana Lima and whoever else is in the mix, are doing the same old repetitive shit for Victoria’s Secret that is hardly as exciting as an era before the internet when it was all I had to masturbate, but still worth looking at, even if it lacks creativity, substance, flavor or really anything beyond hot bitches half naked…which apparently is good enough to build a billion dollar business off of…

Posted in:Victoria's Secret

2013

07

Aug

Helen Hunt Doesn’t Surf Like Anastasia Ashley of the Day

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Helen Hunt was looking pretty AWESOME IN A BIKINI and now she’s in a wet suit, a wet suit she probably peed in to stay warm, urine tricking down her old lady thighs…like she was a squirter…surfing…like she wasn’t 100 years old…and I am into it…

But she’s got nothing on everyone’s favorite surfer with two arms…Anastasia Ashley…who you may remember from yesterday’s video of her hot little warm-up dance…in the event you’ve stopped playing it on repeat…

Here are the pics…. CLICK HERE

Posted in:Helen Hunt

2013

07

Aug

Maria Sharapova in Shape Magazine of the Day

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Tennis babe Maria Sharapova is in Shape magazine which makes sense because she’s a fucking pro athlete who if she doesn’t matter in terms of her pro sports career…still has muscle memory that will prevent her from becoming a fat bitch…not to mention there’s sponsors who have their hand shoved so far up her vagina…who she works for to make the millions a year a spokesperson who will cut off the lifeline if she ended up obese…but I’m not complaining that they did a shoot with her, she’s hot, I’m just complaining that it didn’t involve any spread asshole pics…

Posted in:Maria Sharapova

2013

07

Aug

Izabel Goulart Hot Nutrilatina Campaign of the Day

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Izabel Goulart is pretty fucking fit. I guess that’s what happens when you have a taste of the good Victoria’s Secret life and they fire you for no good reason, making you feel like you’re totally inadequate after years of performing for them…you know all up on your high horse killin’it…which is one of my favorite fucking things…because if you’re in a position to make a girl a star and take it the fuck away from her…just to fuck with her mind and her relevance in the world…because you can…is pretty fucking funny to remind her that she’s replaceable…it makes for better blow jobs…or in her case..it makes for more sit-ups…

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2013

07

Aug

Cintia Dicker for AMAZONpower of the Day

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Cintia Dicker is the Brazilian redhead who I want to have sex with because she’s Brazilian and a redhead…I mean that and she’s got a bunch of followers and a modeling agency…which is now a prerequisite for me to masturbate to you…it’s like I need the professional endorsement and support of many to make me think a bitch is worthy….if you’re not published half naked in magazines you don’t fucking matter…especially if you’re a redhead…because redheads are hit and miss and often times disgusting, scary and out of a horror movie…with contrasting pubic hair to vagina lips that are not erotic but just weird…but this redhead is all exotic and shit…the kind you would be crazy not to want to have sex with and now she’s posing for some bullshit…who cares..

Posted in:Cintia Dicker

2013

07

Aug

Helena Christensen Old and Hot for Red of the Day

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Helena Christensen is amazing..she was born in the 60s, old enough to have been to Woodstock, from the Miss Denmark 1986 pageant….to the Chris Isaak’s Wicked Games video….to Victoria’s Secret in the early 1990s…yet still maintaining the erections of many, or at least me and not in a “Hey I remember jerking off to this girl, I should go look at her old pics”…like I do with so many has beens, but rather still looking hot enough to jerk off to…which is fucking unheard of…and amazes me on so many levels…like the kind of freak of nature I’d be into having sex with and not just doing for the experience of having sex with them for being a freak of nature…like that time I fucked the chick with the lobster claw hand…only way less nightmares afterwards…

I’m into this…

Posted in:Helena Christensen

2013

07

Aug

Barbara Palvin Crotch Shot for an Ad of the Day

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Nothing says “I’m an eager young model from a third world ex-soviet war torn country trying to get ahead so that I don’t have to wait in line for rationed bread anymore…or worst…be traded on the international human trafficking sex trade market” quite like doing a high kick in a bikini bottom..spreading your vagina…underneath thin fast drying bathing suit bottoms…I mean the kind of position they’d have us thinking Justin Bieber had her in when giving her an amateur gyno exam with his tongue…before realizing we all know Beiber’s gay.

I like this campaign and will buy 3 of whatever they are selling.

Posted in:Barbara Palvin

2013

07

Aug

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

1 Comment »

Last night’s failed pick-up line:

Will You Use My Dick as a Tampon?

Here are some links….

Her name is Natalia Proza and She’s in a Bikini…
GO

Sylvester Stallone Hates Bruce Willis – Planet Hollywood Drama 20 Years Later…
GO

Girls Showing Off Their Abs
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Selena Gomez Sucks in i-D Magazine
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Seeing as I’m the Dude Who Released this Anastasia Ashley Twerk video…I’m Pretty Happy it Went Viral…So Happy I’ll Jerk Off To It Again
GO

Some Dude Named Tom Hiddleston Will Not be in the Avengers
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Mountain Bike Overtake in Style
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Anja Rubik for Vogue
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Best Rejection GIF Ever…
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Russian Hitman Prank!
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Boy Catches a Fish in Record Time
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Michelle Pfeiffer is Still Hot as Fuck
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This Chick Undressing is Awesome
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Babes on Babes on Babes….on Cams…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS