DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

18

Jun

Jessica Alba for the Sunday Times of the Day

Jessica Alba was in the Sunday Times and she looked pretty fucking lovely, despite not being naked enough for my liking, she’s Jessica Alba, and has never been naked enough for my liking, she always knew she was hot, and always knew that getting naked would end her appeal, so she never fucking did it. I just assumed falling off the map and having a couple of kids would have made her more desperate, only instead of taking any job she can get, now more naked because she’s eager to get back in the limelight, or even to establish herself as an actor now that she’s more comfortable being spread out on a table in front of a room full of people thanks to child birth…

But instead she took the Martha’s Stewart route…you know if Martha Stewart wore evening gowns on tennis courts..

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2013

18

Jun

Marlijn Hoek for Madame Figaro of the Day

1 Comment »

Marlijn Hoek is just some ethnic babe who I want to have sex with…you know a model making moves…half naked for fashion…who I’ve never heard of, but have now, and will look out for, on her quest to be as important as all the girls who work for Victoria’s Secret…you know the real benchmark of what a fashion model is meant to be…to every dude in the world…and not necessarily to every fashion company or magazine who prefers the less busty girls to be topless and model clothes…all of which are better than anything you fuck…and getting paid to be look good, meaning she’s already won at life…

Here she is for Madame Figaro…

[galley]

Posted in:Marlijn Hoek

2013

18

Jun

The Worst News Story You Will Hear Ever of the Day

2 Comments »

This story will make you fucking sick….at least it made me sick and that’s why I am posting it. I just can’t believe shit like this happens, then I remember that horrible things happen all the time, that people are fucking sick in the head, and that often times when they are ghetto looking girls, who live in a trailer park, who are single mothers to begin with and who were probably raped as a child themselves, they will do anything for love…like let their convicted pedophile boyfriend have sex with her 4 month old and kill her…

What the fuck…

It’s too bad the government controls your text messages and phone calls and the messages the media send you…but they don’t control shit like this from happening…

It’s horrible…

Posted in:stepNEWS

2013

18

Jun

Candice Swanepoel is Blonde of the Day

3 Comments »

Breaking news…This just in…Hot off the presses…Candice Swanepoel dyed her hair blonder than it already was…and no one fucking cares…

What we do care about is seeing her bikini / lingerie model modelling fucking bikinis and lingerie like she is supposed to be…rather than posting pics of her not so hot face when her ass isn’t in the frame to stare at….to her social media…

I mean bitches always get an ego when they get too famous, and forget the only reason they are famous, and that is because of their fucking booty…at least in this South African’s case…

Everyday, I am less and less interested in Candice Swanepoel. She’s old news… her hair looks stupid…who the fuck cares…

To See Her at Some Evenr
Follow this link

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

18

Jun

LOLZ of the Day

1 Comment »

This was tweeted by some Chinese media company:

@Happy??: Super sexy, summertime anti-pervert full-leg-of-hair stockings, essential for all young girls going out.

The goal…to stop perverts by grossing them out, with hair fucking legs…

Now I may be old school, but a little hairy legs wouldn’t stop most rapists I know from getting up in a tight asian, especially if that hair leg is easy to rip a hole in to fuck…

I mean if anything, these stockings, like all stockings, will become a fetish of their own, like the Merkin for bush lovers who can’t find a girl open minded to go natural, this is your solution to deal with social pressure of grooming…

Either way, it’s funny.

Posted in:LOLZ

2013

18

Jun

More from the Miley Cyrus Photoshoot That Won’t Die of the Day

3 Comments »

This Miley Cyrus photoshoot that first dropped A MONTH AGO …and that slowly had FOLLOW UP POSTS as they released pictures…including a FAKE TITTY FLASH ….just won’t die..

The photographer, or her handlers, just keep releasing pics from different angles of her, in a one-piece, showing off her fit little body, that turns me on, because it’s so small and tight, even if attached to a horrible girl with a very thick wallet, and I don’t mean her labia, I mean her bank account, one big enough to K-Fed and ignore all that is horrible about her…

I guess they realize perverts like me will just keep on posting them..especially when they feature ass cheek.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

18

Jun

Shakira’s Breasts Aren’t Small and Humble in Elle of the Day

1 Comment »

Shakira is in the recent issue of Elle and it’s not all that eventful, but maybe I am just bias and don’t really like celebrating new moms, under any circumstance, and if I feel the need to look at Shakira pictures, I’ll go back to her booty shaking tweak videos from before she was a pregnant cow….

The only reason I am bothering with these is because she’s showing off cleavage, an new addition to her body thanks to being a pregnant cow, all full of milk, and I guess she made the point of saying her breasts were small and humble, that you can’t confuse them for mountains in one of her hit songs, well that’s still true, but they are bigger than they used to be, and she seems pretty happy about that…

If you need more reason to hate Shakira, you can tune into the Voice, where she plays a latino version of Christina Aguilera, even though Aguilera pretends she’s latino, only Shakira, is a few bra sizes smaller than that cow…but equally annoying.

Posted in:Shakira

2013

18

Jun

Ioanna Ntenti Hot for Air France of the Day

1 Comment »

Ioanna Ntenti is Greece’s Next Top Model’s 2nd Runner up, whatever that means…and all I see is a babe who I’d like to feed Greek food before going Greek, because you can’t go Greek on an empty stomach…even though you probably should if you’re looking to not accidentally shit all over the dude you’re going Greek with’s dick….not that going Greek is called going Greek to the Greeks, that’s just regular sex, the anus is the vagina, the vagina is for baby making, and as a small penis man who hates condoms, already smells like shit, and doesn’t want unwanted pregnancy, Greek works for me…and so does this Ioanna bitch, cuz she’s fucking hot….

Here she is for Air France…because I guess Air France is so fashionable they do bikini photoshoots…unlike the discount airlines I fly who barely afford uniforms for their fat tired staff…

Here she is on Youtube in her underwear looking hot..

I’m in love.

Posted in:Ioanna Ntenti

2013

18

Jun

Kanye West Using Kardashians in Promoting his Album of the Day

2 Comments »

Kanye is promoting his new album Yeezus, by having his daughter with fame whore Kim Kardashian the day it was slated to be released. He also pulled a sex scandal 3 days before it released. Dude knows what he’s doing…every move is calculated for his empire…But what I don’t understand a few things…mainly why he would cast his brother-in-law in a promo video of his album doing some American Psycho act with another one of Kim Kardashian’s homies…

I mean I get that he’s Hollywood, and forever locked into that horrible family, but he probably should publicly acknowledge it, it can’t be good with keeping things hip hop, even if hip hop is all hollywood pop now…if I was him I’d play the deadbeat dad role…or maybe I woulda accidentally punched the pig woman in the stomach a few times…or staged a car accident to rid the world of her like a real YEEZUS would.

Here’s one of his new songs called Black Skinhead and love him or hate him, and wish bad things on his baby momma or not, dude knows how to make good music…

Posted in:Kanye West

2013

18

Jun

LOLZ of the Day

4 Comments »

Leave it up to the Asian named Jessica Lee to figure out a clever quote for her year book using the periodic table of elements to code the shit…it’s like the nerdiest protest, or statement ever, but the message is loud and clear, once you decipher it…

Do you know what she’s trying to say here?

Here’s a clue – It’s pretty gangster…and that’s why I’m posting it. It made me laugh. Maybe I just like seeing uptight Asians protest their demanding parents using the tools their parents made them study every saturday morning along with piano classes, chinese classes, and some sports team to keep them well rounded, to have a better life than owning a convenience store…

Posted in:LOLZ