DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

11

Apr

Amber Heard in a New Movie of the Day

There’s a new movie coming out about marketing to the masses, because the masses are idiot drones, and it just takes money and a team of people to make the masses fall into the web of lies called Syrup.

It stars Amber Heard. I like Amber Heard. Because like the idiot masses and Johnny Depp, who threw away his marriage for a taste of this lesbian pussy, I’m easily manipulated by things that look like Amber Heard. Now if only this movie syrup was about her squirt dripping off my chin….

The other big trailer out today is HANGOVER 3 that assume all you are dying to see….but that I won’t post here because Zach Galfinakis isn’t Amber Heard.

Posted in:Amber Heard

2013

11

Apr

Adriana Lima Topless for Esquire of the Day

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I don’t know if these pics of Adriana Lima are new or old. You know post pregnancy ravaged vagina or pre-pregnancy ravaged vagina, I just know they are doing the rounds, and unlike her bloated Victoria’s Secret look she’s had the last year they’ve shot pics of her, she’s looking hot. But maybe I am just blinded by the tits and the memory of an Adriana Lima that was, before Catholicism and the whole “God’s Will To Get Pregnant instead of birth control” shit ruined her….that Catholic church from raping boys to raping south American girls’ bodies through their fabricated rules makes me wonder if there really is a god, and I’m thinking if there is, it may be found burying my face in Lima’s Asshole….I hear it smells like heaven….

Posted in:Adriana Lima

2013

11

Apr

Adrienne Curry Nipples for Twitter of the Day

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Adrienne Curry is the fucking devil. I can’t stand the bitch and not just because she told me off on twitter once, in fact that is the only redeeming quality that latch-on failure of a human had.

She’s a bottom feeder. Fame hungry and willing to try whatever it takes to get more famous. From reality shows to marriage to a guy on The Brady Bunch, to social media that she started with the suggestive pics on, then the cosplay shit to target the nerds cuz they are loyal, then booking gigs at comicon and shit to this nipples on her fake tits that I am sure she’s shown before but that are a good sign that the sex tape is around the fucking corner. She’s that kind of Hollywood trash, they walk the streets, envy the actual famous and try fucking hard to one day get there, in the most simplistic show your fucking tits cuz no one else wants to pay you to see them way.

She’s a high paid escort who found an alternative way to prostitute herself and I’ll encourage that behavior, even if I’d rather see pics of her getting hit by a fucking bus.

Posted in:Adrienne Curry|NSFW

2013

11

Apr

Bar Refaeli’s Shitty Modeling Campaign of the Day

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This is what we call Bar Refaeli falling off fucking hard.

It is safe to say that her modeling career is near to a fucking end and that she should probably take up some of these millionaires and A-Listers to get knockedup, because when a bitch agrees to do campaigns that make her look like this, I’m talking the flyer for the local fucking poor person store, it’s the equivalent of Jack Nicholson or fucking any other Academy award winner doing a testimonial on an infomercial or a fucking herpes ad.

Whatever is going on here, is not top modeling, she looks like shit, and even if this was a favor for her friend or family’s clothing line, she shoulda refused, it’s the worst I’ve seen her.

Posted in:Bar Refaeli

2013

11

Apr

Elsa Hosk and Sara Sampaio for Victoria’s Secret Pink of the Day

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I recently found out that Victoria’s Secret Pink brand is designed for teen girls.

You see I was always too busy loving the Victoria’s Secret models, while hating the evil corporation for being an evil corporation, but more importantly a company that mistreats this babes by not using them to their full potential, but instead throwing them into shitty, repetitive catalog shots I fucking hate, to realize that Victoria’s Secret has a target market or what their retailing strategy was.

So when you perverts look at these pics of Sara Sampaio and Elsa Hosk, their Miranda Kerr replacements, that are much hotter….one from Sweden the other from my dreams….you can imagine 15 year old girls in it…but I’m perfectly fine looking at these babes in it….

Posted in:Elsa Hosk|Sara Sampaio

2013

11

Apr

Sara Jean Underwood’s Twitter Bikini Pic of the Day

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Sara Jean Underwood was a Playboy star, mainly because at a young age she was smart enough to jump onto the Playboy nude modeling, knowing that at 18, her chances were better than at 25 when most girls realize “shit, I’d do playboy since normal jobs suck and failing at modeling and acting and TV hosting has robbed my soul”….because dudes like seeing 18 year olds naked whether they are all that hot or not.

Then she got implants, pretended to date Seacrest, got a TV hosting job, and became too big and famous to get naked for money, typical.

Well now her show is over, her fan base a little nerdier, and her eagerness to get another TV gig probably high, but the hope is that she gets nothing, and ends up going back to nude modeling and seeing her post pics in her bikini, makes me think that’s probably what is going to be happening.

We call this a cry for male attention and an attempt to stay relevant. Next stop….spread pussy pics!

Posted in:Sara Jean Underwood

2013

11

Apr

Sabine Jemeljanova Tits for Page 3 of the Day

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Sabine Jemeljanova is some UK Glamour model from Latvia, who I can only assume moved the the UK to work as a stripper or prostitute, because the big city she left Latvia for, “to learn english” according to her wikipedia page, that we all know is code for “to suck dick to pay my rent cuz I have huge tits I am not scared to show off” because it is a means to survive that landed her gigs in big LAD MAGS and Page 3.

That’s the key difference between local busty girls willing to show their tits for money, and those from other countries, you see the locals have daddy issues, while the immigrants are just trying to make money to send back to daddy, making her a better quality person with better work ethic than the lazy British tits we’re used to. I can tell by her nipples. I’m a nipple reader.

Posted in:NSFW|Sabine Jemeljanova

2013

11

Apr

Georgia May Jagger Modeling Bikinis in Australia of the Day

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Georgia May Jagger is Mick Jagger’s interesting looking gapped tooth big lip model who along with being big in fashion, allows those of you who always wondered what getting a blowjob from Mick Jagger’s dick sucking lips, but were too afraid to admit to yourself, because that would be gay, despite his dainty body, now you have a vagina and tits that model bikinis to materialize that fantasy that you will never admit you have.

I think she’s a babe, so the more work she gets in her heiress life, the more I’ll stare and not just because her trust fund is one big enough for me to Van Gogh my dick and mail it to her in hopes she eats it and realizes the sacrifices I have made for our love, after freezing some of my retard sperm, cuz when it comes to Georgia Jagger, that’s the retirement plan.

Posted in:Georgia May Jagger

2013

11

Apr

Gwyneth Paltrow in a Bathing Suit for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

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Gwyneth Paltrow showed off her skinny old lady mom body for Harper’s Bazaar, and as much as people shit on her for her insanity, I appreciate that she’s not fat, because fat chicks are the fucking worst…to look at, to fuck, to smell, to sit next to on the bus…and I am going to endorse this Paltrow twat in whatever spiritual fucked up rich kid shit she is doing…whether it is eating Vegan or breast feeding her family while braiding her fucking pussy hair, the key is that she’s still skinny enough to look at and not.

Society has gone fat and hate skinny people who try to be healthy. It’s like if you’re not eating a burger, you’re a fucking loser, and the side-effect to all that skinny bitches, which happen to be my favorite, are a dying breed. It’s tragic.

Posted in:gwyneth paltrow

2013

11

Apr

Who Is Claudia Romani of the Day

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If you read the internet and I am going to assume you don’t if you’re visiting this site, then you’ve probably seen paparazzi pics of this Claudia Romani character in her bikini on the beach in Miami, and if you’re not like me, and don’t actually care about these random sluts the paparazzi take pics of, you’ve probably tried to figure out what slow day was going on for the paparazzi to bother with an average looking “italian model” who probably isn’t a model.

I’m gonna assume that she’s just sleeping with the paparazzi, he submits them to the agency he works for, they run with it cuz they like bikini pics blogs post her cuz they like bikini pics, but ultimately, she’s a total nobody, who takes a lot of selfies and is average looking at best….but at least she’s figured out this bullshit, how to get noticed system, cuz I’m talking about her, and only because she’s everywhere in a fucking bikini.

Here are a bunch of her selfies from instagram I pulled from all my research.