DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

01

Mar

Kelly Brook Vs a Dildo of the Day

Kelly Brook was punked on TV….in what would be be offensive…..
if it wasn’t staring a couple hooker type women…who are virtually pornstars…..who just don’t have sex on camera…but who do showcase their tits for money…willing to do almost anything to get ahead….

You know what…this is actually a well executed prank….and I’m happy it’s allowed on TV…next time let’s hope she’s riding it or inserting it in her ass…but it would have to be a hell of a lot bigger to insure she feels it….that loose lipped /orifice harlot…..

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2013

01

Mar

Victoria’s Secret Swim of the Day

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I’ve probably already posted all these pics of Victoria’s Secret Swim…but that’s not saying much…because every time I do a Victoria’s Secret post….I am convinced I’ve done it before…even when it is with their new girls…because they have a formula….that they do over and over again…in an uninspiring…but still decent to stare at cuz it’s half naked babes….kinda way…and that’s why they win me over everytime…those corporate bastards own me with all them cleavage…borng fucking cleavage and I hate them for it…

Posted in:Victoria's Secret

2013

01

Mar

Priyanka Chopra for Vogue India of the Day

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Priyanka Chopra is so lovely and exotic….like a fruit your family buys on special occasions or when you are sick with a cold and they are hoping the vitamins get you better cuz your diet of creamed corn, canned beans, ramen noodles and margerine, booze and chips and cake….doesn’t really give your body what it needs…making her a welcomed indian (dot not feather) set of titties to stare at from Vogue India….cuz sometimes…you gotta look at what else is out there…international pussy…even if it smells like curry and the hallway of an immigrant filled building…and even if it is hairy and creepy looking…because this generation is about diversity….and luckily Diversity. even in another language, can still has a pussy and can suck a dick…right Priyanka Chopra?

If you’re wondering who Priyanka Chopra is…she’s in movies, was Miss World in 2000….and has a record deal….but her most important achievement is that I tried to masturbate to her 5 minutes ago…I like to help people.

Posted in:Priyanka Chopra

2013

01

Mar

Sophia Bush has an Uneventful Ass of the Day

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The only thing I know about Sophia Bush is that she was on some show that really spoke to nerds everywhere….making them loyal to her…..which is good for her…because I don’t think she’s really done much…if anything in the last decade but yet…to some virgin losers out there…she’s still their queen…a queen with a dumpy ass…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Sophia Bush

2013

01

Mar

Kim Kardashian Unfortunate Flashback Friday of the Day

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Kim Kardashian or her handlers are scrambling…..to do damage control or at least to maintain some level of “hotness” that I think it totally wrongfully allocated to her…but that I accept as the general public…most importantly dudes….are fucking idiots who think anything is hot if they are told it is and it has a set of tits…

Cuz for her instagram – she “Flashback Fridayed” these pics of her in what could be a diaper…but probably isnt’….hoping her fans are like “that’s the shit I dooooo like tho”….cuz really….they’d be the only ones…cuz whenever I see pics of her…all I smell is feces…but in her defense…I don’t shower and could just be smelling myself..

Either way, she’s a vile pig we can only hope dies in childbirth of her demon child to end the world of the damage she’s caused…..

You know she posted this cuz she thinks she looks hot in it – and you should hate her for that.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2013

01

Mar

The Girls of Nuts of the Day

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Nuts just released an issue they call the “Lingerie Special”…that I call the “Let’s Recycle The Best Pics of the Last Year Cuz Dudes Will Buy Into this Shit and Collect it Cuz It Has All Their Favorite Glamour Model Tits from the Last Year In It which Means We will Sell All Kinds of Copies even If Website Rip Them Off…Cuz it Is Free Advertising….on Free Content…cuz we already used it Beffore…We are Geniuses…We Use Tits To Make Monehy on Average Girls Who Just Love the Attention and Then Repackage it and repackage it…Genius”….

Here are the pics starring Lucy Pinder, Holly Peers, Rosie Jones, Jessica-Jane Clement, India Reynolds and Danielle Sharp, Danica Thrall…Lacey Banghard….shit does the list ever end…. Other busty girls who are average at best but think they are gold….cuz that’s what NUTS UK wants them to think to keep em working for cheap…

TO SEE ALL THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:NSFW|Nuts UK

2013

01

Mar

My Girl Emily Ratajkowski is Topless in GQ Turkey of the Day

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Little known fact….I write poetry for Emily Ratajkowski..every night before I got to bed…and I keep it in a little box that I will one day present her with…to show her my life with her….before we knew each other…and how she inspired me to be a better man…and enter my quest of following my heart to be with her til the end of time…..because she writes poetry for me…she just doesn’t know it…and it is in the form of hot titties…hot body….that is gonna take the fuck over….for GQ Turkey today…and the world tomorrow…she’s perfect….and yes this may not be specifically shot for me…but it might as well could be….and that’s what matters…

Enrata baby…you’re amazing…hold me close and never let me go.

(that’s one of my poems, I’m not very good at romance)

She’s perfect….

Here’s the behind the scenes video…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|NSFW

2013

01

Mar

McKayla Maroney Booty in Leggings for Fox News of the Day

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This is typical for a right wing site…to showcase an American hero in a subtle semi-erotic way…for their right wing readers…who don’t like gays, but don’t mind good old all american medal winning teen ass…cuz staring at teen ass…like firearms is a God Given American right…and if you don’t like it you can get yourself back to some Mulim country like Iraq.(eye-rack).

Don’t worry…she fought for your country…she may be 17….but she won gold for America…and that means you can lust after her like a oil tycoon in Texas….who hates those blacks and mexicans…but likes the neighbor’s daughter enough to buy her from her parents….

Posted in:McKayla Maroney

2013

01

Mar

Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens Head Back to the Motherland of the Day

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The two little pop tart monkeys straight from the Disney Lot…where their Corporate Sponsored Cola was laced with Peter Pan hormone suppressants that allow them to stay youthful and hirable as long as the show must go on….as collective breaking free from the oppressive mouse ears…the red-short chains….that define them thanks to their parents selling them off as kids….and are now paving their own way as scandalous little party sluts….together….because if they are in it together…they feel less guilt and fear of the half naked unknown….you see both have tried to take on the world independently….both had sex with gays….one released nudes…the other pretended she was hip hop…but together…they are hot like fire…..fire in their mother land of Spain…on TV…making shit explode….as I wait for the lesbian sex tape to be released….cuz I know they are working on one…..

Posted in:Selena Gomez|Vanessa Hudgens

2013

01

Mar

Ali Larter’s Shitty Old Lady Party Bikini Pics of the Day

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The sex appeal of any girl significantly drops the second she puts out pics of her and her lady friends….like a bunch of 40 year olds on a girls trip….for one of their bachelorette parties for her 3rd marriage….because the first two didn’t play out so well…but now that she’s in her 40s and knows better…they can go get wild and talk about vibrators….hump dance local men on the resort…and have one too many cosmos like they were on Sex and the City….a show they were married to…

You see this shit on facebook all the time…and they are all the same….impossible to masturbate to.

Posted in:Ali Larter