I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

04

Dec

Cameron Diaz and Her Ice Cream Cone of the Day

With a title like Cameron Diaz and her Ice Cream Cone, you’d expect something a little more perverted that her making some stupid fucking face like some kind of fucking clown at the fucking park trying to make little kids laugh and have a good time like some kind of fucking pervert who should be locked while actually scaring the fucking shit out of them cuz no one likes fucking clowns…..

See I expected her to be sucking the shit, or at least have it dripping off her hispanic lips and down her hispanic chin dripping into her cleavage like shit was mainlined out of Justin Timberlake’s ball sack cuz he is the last celebrity I remember hearing about her fucking, not that it mattters, if anything if these pictures were any good, you coulda pretended that you were the source for the mess on her face, but instead it is this bullshit that doesn’t make for an erotic of an experience as hanging outside the ice cream parlor on a hot summer date, but I guess disappointment is what Cameron Diaz does these days….

Pics via INF

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|Ice Cream

2009

04

Dec

Lisa Rinna’s Old Body in Some Tight Pants of the Day

Lisa Rinna was out wearing some tight pants the other day and you shouldn’t really care because you saw her naked plastic ass photoshopped in Playboy this past year and they may have strategically blocked out her pussy lips so that we’ll never know if they are as big, swollen and red as the lips on her face are, but in the event you want to get off to her because you are weird, you can always do a google search so that you’re not stuck jerking off to bullshit pictures like this and that’s all I have to say about this nobody…who is more of a somebody than me…otherwise I wouldn’t be talking about her…but I would be talking about me….which I guess I kind of am….how annoying of me.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Leggings|Lisa Rinna|Tight Pants

2009

04

Dec

More Miley Cyrus Bikini Pictures of the Day

I posted these pictures of Miley Cyrus in her Bikini yesterday because my life is all about catering to perverts with know taste, who like jailbait because it is illegal in their state and because they are dirty old men who think she’s all fresh and so clean, even though one meeting at Disney leaves her tasting more cock than the 40 year old whore down the street from me who is a mother of 8, but in Miley Cyrus’ defense the 40 year old down the street only gets a few customers an hour, now that word is out she has AIDS, but still, there’s nothing pure about this corporate tool to brainwash kids, not to mention she looks like she is semi-retarded, like that she didn’t get enough oxygen to their brain when they were being born because they got tangled up in their dad’s achey breaky mullet, or that maybe her parents are actually brother and sister…cuz guess what….you can’t hide incest no matter how hard you try…it always shows up in a wonky fuckin face…

Either way, I felt obligated to post these pictures of her adjusting her bikini top, cuz it is just the kind of subjective bullshit your pervert ass needs.

Pics via INF

Posted in:Bikini|Miley Cyrus

2009

04

Dec

Jessica Simpson’s Wet Spot as her Fat Ass Struggles to Get Out of a Car of the Day

After the last 4 hours staring at this picture of Jessica Simpson, I am pretty sure I see a wet spot in her crotch. I’m lying. I don’t think anyone has spent more than a few minutes staring at her crotch in the last 5 years, which is a huge part of why her jeans are so huge, another huge part of why she is so huge is that no one wants to marry her and knock her up, so she figures she’ll do it herself with cake, all while her younger sister is living a substantially better and more successful life than her, as she accompanies her dad, the only man who will love her unconditionally and the only man who can make her cum in under 7 minutes, because they’ve worked out a system after all these years of working together. He made this pussy and he knows it like the back of his fucking hand….mainly because he uses it as a glove at least twice a day.

I don’t know what I am talking about…I just like watching the fall of Jessica Simpson, only because I always like seeing fat chicks fall, as their struggle to get back up is always funny.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fat|Jessica Simpson

2009

04

Dec

Crazy Lady on the Subway of the Day

This is amazing….”I’m gonna take a knife and cut up my mother’s breasts…and stick the knife up her ass”….

There are times I spend a few too many hours or days alone and think that maybe I’m crazy. You know I write a bullshit website all day, I drink too much and I am pretty much homeless and all that typical stuff that would make you think you’re not really normal because you don’t do the whole 9 to 5 grind and cuz you aren’t motivated by money and you don’t really want much out of life except the chance to see Katy Perry’s bare titty nipples, but before I have time to really fall into a weird dark place something comes my way to remind me that I’m really not crazy at all, I am just bored and wish I was crazy to entertain myself, I’m just lazy and lack ambition and today that reality check came in this video….

See there are actual people who are fucking insane, screaming nonsense on the train like she’s all the fuck alone in her room having a tantrum like a 4 year old…only a lot more fun because she’s decided to share her craziness with all of us thru this video…..

So I may never have this kind of fit in public, but I can use this as a model to follow if I ever wanted to freak everyone out around me by pretending I was actually having a fit in public, because it is just that good…..

Posted in:Crazy Lady

2009

03

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

I wonder how many people have died masturbating and not the kind of masturbation that kills like with electronics in showers or with belts wrapped around your fucking neck. You know, dying from good old, jerkin’ off.

Back when my dick worked and I was a lot younger and a lot more insecure, I always had a little bit of fear in the back of my mind that I’d die in the midst of jerking off and some poor fucker, like my landlord or neighbor would find me dick in hand, porn on tv, dead. So every time I’d jerk off, I’d rush it to cum before my heart gave out….

Now I wish my dick stayed hard enough and that I wasn’t desensitized and have such a short attention span so that I’d have the chance to die jerking off, cuz I don’t think it’d be that bad a way to go, if anything it’d be a great final joke, especially considering it’s only goal I’ve ever seen to completion in my life…..until my poor health took that away from me…not that you care…I mean why would you care about an old tired guy’s masturbation anxieties from decades ago and inadequacies today…so here are my stepLINKS…in efforts to pretend we didn’t just have this conversation….

Record Breaking Coctail Genius….
GO

Tiger Woods Wife Just Hit the Jackpot
GO

The Hannah Montana Doll is Fucking Fun!!Especially If You Put it Up Your Ass.
GO

The 10 Hottest Massachusetts Women
GO

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO BRITNEY MURPHY?!
GO

Find Sluts Here
GO

This Drunken Sumo Wrestler Game is Something I Can Relate Too
GO

Rachel Stevens Upskirt
GO

Seriously, Who the FUCK Updates Their Facebook During Their Wedding? – VIDEO
GO

I Wanna Fuck David Ducovney’s Wife
GO

The Iraqi Shoe Thrower Got….A Shoe Thrown at Him
GO

A Flowchart to Determine If You Can Get Away With Having a Mistress
GO

Amateur Slut Models All Sorts of Lingerie
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Taylor Swift Bikini Shots
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Stevie Wonder Broke Down and Cried During a Michael Jackson Tribute and Don’t Fucking Laugh Cause It’s Pretty Gut Wrenching
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Miley Cyrus Bikini Pics
GO

Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson Are Fucking Again
GO

Ashley Simpson is a Self Entitled Cunt
GO

How Awesome Would a Lindsay Lohan/Jessica Alba Cat Fight Be
GO

Television Just Got a Whole Lot More Shittier – VIDEO
GO

Topless Kick Boxing Iveta Vale
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I Admire Her Skill But Her Aim is Off – VIDEO
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Six Perky Tits in One Room
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

VIP Upskirts and a Lot of Flashing in a Hot Party
GO

Mini Dirt Bike Product Test…The Chinese way
GO

Jerry Jer AKA TAMPON MAN – VIDEO
GO

Steven Seagal Will Arrest, Possibly Eat You
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Joanna Krupa is Sexy and Topless
GO

She’s Showing Off Her Pussy and Tits!
GO

Well Hello There Valentina
GO

A Little Bit of Allessandra Ambrosio
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Two School Girls and Their Lollipops
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Some Literal Human Wrecking Balls
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When Sammie and Sandy Took a Shower…
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Angel Dark is on a White Sand Beach
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Afternoon Pick-Me-Up: Thy La
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Gabrielle Union is Lookin Hot
GO

Let It Slide Video
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Baby Sitting Fail – VIDEO
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Heather is Bent Over
GO

Alexis’ Ass is GLORIOUS
GO

I Gotta Admit, Britney is Doing and Lookin Half Alright
GO

Ahhhhh Leona Lewis
GO

Some Magazine Where PEnelope Cruz is Talking About Something But I Don’t Care Cause I Am Distracted By Her Hotness
GO

VALENTINA’S PUSSY IS RIPE AND READY FOR PENETRATION!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

03

Dec

The Katy Perry Titty Watch Continues of the Day

Katy Perry’s tits are my new obsession. This is my second post on them today because she’s been showing them off in all the dresses she’s been wearing lately.

I really don’t know what happened but I fell in love with them last night and it’s not like I didn’t know they existed before, because I did, but something triggered in my brain that made me focused on seeing them naked. I have obsessive thought patterns and a lot of the times, I won’t sleep until I get what I want or what I am looking for, unfortunately for me my goals are never really of substance or advancement of my life, it’s really stupid shit like convincing my friend in LA to get a picture of Katy Perry’s tits from the neck down and from the belly button up, cuz I won’t be satisfied with anything less or anything more, since she’s pretty fucking disgusting, not that I am ever happy or satisfied, but you get what I am saying here and that is that Katy Perry showing off her tits is fucking amazing, good work by her boyfriend Russell Brand, and all of a sudden I’m willing to ignore how annoying everything else about this cunt is…..just show me her fucking nipples…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Katy Perry|Tits

2009

03

Dec

Miley Cyrus Pink Bikini Pictures of the Day

Miley Cyrus Bikini Pictures Pink

I can only assume that this bitch is 18. I figure if Disney can exploit her and give her a career there’s no way she’s not an adult by now and just posing as a kid, cuz I am sure there are strict labor laws and shit, making this all okay to post pictures of her in a bikini, even if you’re ass wants to get off on them, not that it matters really, cuz in Canada 16 is legal, so we’re technically allowed to pick the girls up in our vans outside of highschool and do all the dirty things we want to them as long as they agree to it and aren’t gagged and hog tied the entire process, we just aren’t allowed to video tape the shit or take pictures of the shit, unless it is with our memory to reference when needed, not that I need that with this Miley bitch. I think she looks half retarded, has pretty much no sex appeal and a shitty body. The only thing going for her is that she’s not 300 fucking pounds and that’s really not saying much, but I know you American folk and your low standards will love this shit and I have no choice but to post it…just don’t zoom in on the picture to see if you see lip or anything cuz that would take this from wholesome to bad intentions and that’s the kind of thing that gets us arrested…even though we didn’t take the pictures or release them to the internet….but historically we’re always the fall guy…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Miley Cyrus

2009

03

Dec

Sophie Monk Does the Pregnancy Cover-Up Pose of the Day

Here is Sophie Monk rubbing up on Santa Claus like he was one of the Good Charlotte sisters because I guess she misses the touch of another man, or maybe because ever has fond memories of a man dressed in a Santa suit sneaking in her bedroom late on Christmas Eve, only to take off her little panties and have his way with her, telling her not to tell anyone, because it was their little secret because she’s been such a good girl all year and she’s Santa’s favorite, not realizing that it was just her creepy dad molesting her on the one night he knew he could get away with it, since everyone knows Santa doesn’t exist and her story would lose all credibility before it started..or maybe it is because the dude in the Santa suit is the Executive General Manager of V Airlines and she figures she’ll be able to fly home for cheap anytime she needs when she has no money cuz she can’t get work cuz she’s in with him….and none of this is the point of the post…

The point of the post is that my photographer friend told me that when you see someone in this stance, with their hands on their hips and elbows pointed outwards, they are trying to hide the fact that they gained weight. It’s like people see their elbows and ignore their waistline. It is the oldest trick in the fucking book to make themselves look thinner, to hide the fact that they have a gut, thanks to a Good Charlotte internal cumshot that’s left a baby growing inside them that they refuse to abort because they think it means security, stability and it is the best revenge for him leaving her for Paris Hilton before crawling back to her one lonely night in Australia…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Cover-Up|Pregnancy|Santa Claus|Sophie Monk

2009

03

Dec

Kate Beckinsale and Zooey Deschanel for Absolut Vodka of the Day

Two of my favorite things in life is booze and useless pussy. Here are a few ads for Absolut Vodka that are pretty fucking boring to me, because I like usually like drinking my booze and not looking at pictures of my booze, and I definitely prefer real women to pictures of women posing, and I really prefer those real women to be fuckin soaked through proper in booze, because historically, drunk bitches are easier to fuck, especially if you slip some shit in their drink and drag them out by their hair….

Either way, I don’t drink Absolut and I’m pretty much willing to drink everything, even rubbing alcohol if it’s cut with enough juice so that I don’t go blind, and maybe they should fix their formula before paying big money for this fancy art fag campaigns….because when I think of alcohol and women together, I usually expect to be slipping my hand down her fucking pants as she’s passed out in the corner….

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Here’s Zooey Deschanel….I don’t remember what she does…But now she has the credit of being in a boring Absolut campaign to add to her already very impressive resume……I don’t know what I am talking about.

Posted in:Absolut Vodka|Advertising|Kate Beckinsale|Zooey Deschanel