I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

02

Dec

Jordan is a Make-Up Monster of the Day

I don’t know who told Jordan that burying herself in make-up makes a bitch so, making her invest in a kiddie pool to fill the fuck up with self tanner and roll around in the shit liek she was an actual pig in fucking shit and not just a bitch you call a pig because of everything she represents in life, but I assume it was the same person who told her that getting ridiculous fake tits will make her worth jerking off to, despite looking like a total fucking freak straight out of a horror movie or comic book some closet case over compensating for his gay fantasies wrote….because as time goes on…I feel her testicles are slowly droppin’….cuz she just doesn’t look like a she as much as she may have before she vandalized herself like she an abandoned building in the seedy part of town that is used as a home for squatters and prostitutes….like the piece of lowlife trash her dirty pussy is….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Jordan|Make-Up|Monster

2009

02

Dec

Rachel Bilson’s Sex Scene for Funny or Die of the Day

I figure Rachel BIlson is worth fucking, despite the whole marrying that dude from Star Wars glitch in her life, but I was down with her on The OC, but in my defense, compared to Mischa Barton and her sloppy fucking ass the jewish dude and his dad from LA Law were second in line…..

Either way, this sex tape scene for Funny or Die to promote the new Rachel Bilson movie was probably the best Funny or Die video to date, which may not be saying much because I fucking hate Funny or Die, WIll Farrell and their marketing guy who never links to me even after begging me to post his videos….but it is a sign that maybe they are moving away from candy-coated Saturday Night Live boring humor and into the right direction into smuttier, racier shit the internet wants. See they’ve got the celebrity hook-ups and big budgets….they just need the balls to push the fucking limits a little….

That said, they should probably offer me a job as a consultant. I could use the constant income.

Posted in:Rachel Bilson|Sex Scene

2009

02

Dec

Sophie Turner and her Fake Tits of the Day

I don’t know who this bitch is but I think she’s probably a Pamela Anderson impersonator….or at least a stripper who saw Pamela Anderson get famous in the 90s because of her fake hair and fake tits and figured she could do the same fucking thing easily, all she needed was 5,000 dollars and a bottle of peroxide, but I guess it wasn’t as easy as she thought, because she didn’t anticipate that thousands of other sluts would also take Pam Anderson’s lead and got the fake tits and fake hair and now there’s enough of these bitches to form a fucking army that could take people out with their potent smell of STDs they got trying to get ahead in life…or with their killer blowjob skills they got from all the fucking practice over the decades of trying to be relevant…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Fake Tits|Sophie Turner

2009

02

Dec

Lindsay Lohan Introduces her New Immigrant Pusssy of the Day

I know the only lesbians people care about today is the Mom from Family Ties, even though she’s lost all sex appeal she might have had, you know with being old as fuck. The deal with later-in-life lesbians is that they are tired of dealing with men, especially after 3 failed marriages and all prospects are out fucking younger pussy, and their hormones are all out of whack thanks the menopause, you know the whole transition from woman to androgynist equipped with more testosterone than any of you motherfuckers….

But I still have a soft spot in my panties for Lohan even though she’s dying, her career is dead and she had to go to some third world country to pick up the kid she used to sponsor named Calle Lourdes Demar, because she’s the only girl willing to give Lohan any love or attention even though she is ugly as fuck….and here she is with her big reveal as she introduces her new pussy to her bodyguard, which to Lohan is like introducing her to her family, because her family is too busy being self absorbed and fucked up to care….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Calle Lourdes Demar|Lesbians|Lindsay Lohan

2009

02

Dec

Shakira Performing Rockin’ The Mic of the Day

I think Shakira has lost her appeal in a big way, but that doesn’t mean she has. If you do a Youtube search, you’ll see that people still masturbate to her, at least I assume they do, because the only reason a video would get that many views is because a few motherfuckers spent at least a week goin back to that video for their orgasms.

I know that Shakira is cheating in this outfit by sneaking a pair of gold American Apparel shorts on under her dress so that she’s not flashing the world her panty covered twat, and I find the whole thing a serious fucking disappointment. As an immigrant in the industry, she should go that extra mile to make her stand out amongst the rest, for fear that she’d be sent back to cleaning hotel rooms or whatever else Columbian illegals do when they sneak into the country.

I also know that if the way she is rocking the mic is representing that way she gives head, you may want to tape your dick down, or she may just pull the fucking thing off, and by you I don’t actually mean you, because I know the chances of you banging Shakira are pretty much non-existent….but you get what I am saying…

Either way, less shorts, more pussy…even if these shorts are on to cover your padded Spanx that make her look like she’s got more of a booty than she actually does…..and here are the pics…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Crazy|Performing|Shakira

2009

02

Dec

Some Boring Asss Pics of Cameron Diaz from Behind of the Day

Here are some boring ass pictures of Cameron Diaz. I guess it is safe to say that she inherited this ass from the white side of her family, cuz I’ve never met a hispanic who has had so little booty that the shit looks like it’s been kicked in by a fucking donkey, then again I’ve never met a Hispanic with legs like this bitch, so I guess it all evens out in the end, but it’s still fucking boring and doesn’t deserve to be posted, but I’ve got pretty shitty quality control over here possibly due to running off a few hours of broken sleep thanks to my wife’s snoring and a cocaine induced insomnia cuz the shit was probably cut with speed…but most likely due to not giving a fuck….so here are the boring ass pics of Cameron Diaz…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Boring Ass|Cameron Diaz

2009

01

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

It is the first day of december, which is pretty depressing. Another Christmas I can’t afford but can’t fully ignore and will be forced to pretend I like my wife for a day is only a few weeks away. I won’t be going on vacation. Another new year that is never really that new, just the same old disappointments and bullshit, only more and more irritating as time goes on, because I’ve learned to accept that the only thing constant in my life is failure. Hopeless December starts today….and here are my stepLINKS….

Juliana Didone is in her Bikini and I Like It…..
GO

THIS JUST IN!! MARILYN MONROE LIKED TO SMOKE THE GOOD SHIT!! – VIDEO
GO

Because Losers Like You Tend to Get a Little Lonely
GO

The Hottest Girls Born In December
GO

Some Emma Watson Bikini Pics
GO

Man Versus Toddler
GO

You Gotta Love How the Japanese Put People in the Most Horrible Situations, Then Play It On TV After
GO

Man No Wonder Tiger Wood’s Wife Kicked His Ass, He’s Gettin’ All Sorts of Pussy on the Side
GO

Serena Williams Tit Slip Throwback – Both Jugs!
GO

Yeah, I’d Probably Fuck Kristen Wiig
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

If Labels Were Honest
GO

Striptease of the Day – 3 for 1
GO

Some Alessandra Ambrosio Hotness
GO

I’d Totally Bang George Clooney’s Mom
GO

Rhianna Looks Kind of Cute When She Dresses More Casual
GO

Shakira is Lookin’ Hot In Animal Print
GO

What’s With Ashley Simpson and the Black Hair?
GO

Gotta Love Some Irina Sheik
GO

Introducing Sasha Von
GO

Dumb Slut Gets Owned By a Mirror
GO

And MORE Fun with Fucking Machines
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Vida Guerra and Her Awesome ASs
GO

Liza is On the Floor
GO

Why Hello There Julia Stegner
GO

Leah Francis is taking Her Clothes Off!
GO

Judith Fox Knows How to Work Her Body
GO

Threesome in the Jungle
GO

Wasted Amateur Chicks Get Crazy
GO

Best of the Web! Mustache! Manbat! Toilets! Farting!
GO

Rachel Stevens: 2010 Calendar
GO

Playboy Babe ñ Misty Rhodes
GO

New Jersey is Ready To Legalize Medical Weed
GO

Fear Factor XXX
GO

Shakira, I Love You
GO

TIGER WOODS’ GIRLFRIEND IS A SMOKIN’ HOT PIECE OF ASS
GO

Funny Videos of Serena Williams you Pervert….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

01

Dec

Mila Kunis Slutting It Out for Blackbook of the Day

I love Mila Kunis. I used to think about jerking off to her on That 70s Show and I really started thinking about jerking off to her in Forgetting Sarah Silverman, where she played the hot hotel desk clerk who fucks the guests. The only reason I didn’t like her is because her boyfriend of many years is Macauley Culkin, who I just watched in Home Alone, back before he looked like he was dying of aids, back when he was taking Michael Jackson in his ass, but I guess I shouldn’t let that phase me, because seeing her in Blackbook photoshoot reminds me that I like her by making me think about jerking off to these pics….I’m just to lazy and inadequate….but maybe you’ve got more spirit in you than I do…Go Team…

Posted in:Mila Kunis|Photoshoot|Slut

2009

01

Dec

Kim Kardashian and her Scary Sister in a Bikini of the Day

Kim Kardashian posted these pictures of her and her sister in their bikinis, because her sister’s role in the family is making Kim Kardashian look skinnier than she is, that was the contract she signed with Kim in exchange for fame, otherwise she would have never agreed to giving her fame, she would have just hired another fat chick or even a dude dressed like a girl for the same fucking effect…

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian

2009

01

Dec

Miranda Kerr May Be in a See Thru Shirt and I Don’t Care of the Day

Miranda Kerr is a lingerie and bikini model, but for some reason she doesn’t carry that into her everyday work like someone who is a police officer or paramedic. You seemn when they are off duty they still save people in trouble, but when this bitch is off duty, she covers as much as she fucking can. The whole thing is pretty fucking rude and someone needs to re-work her contract and threaten to take it all away from her if she doesn’t get fucking half naked everywhere she goes.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|See Thru