Keri Hilson is still trying to be Rihanna, only now she’s not still doin it in front of the mirror for herself, or at family functions, but she is doing it at industry parties like she’s actually made, which I guess she technically has, sure she got to the top on a cheap coat tail ride trying to be the next Rihanna, sure know doors were broken down like she was Rosa Parks or anyone who really left a mark on the world, sure she’s just cookie cutter, white bread, immitation brand of a celebrity who won’t be remembered, but at least she wore a shirt I am willing to look at, otherwise, I wouldn’t have even noticed her standing over there, not that she cares if I notice her or not, I’m just trying to make a point….
I like to keep track of women who don’t use the pill or believe in birth control cuz that kind of risk factor excites me, I mean as long as they are in the first trimester and they only look a little chubby in the pussy, not when they reach obvious pregnancy, that’s pretty much when they retire from being sexy and become mom’s with vaginas too big to hug my small penis.
Either way, I guess something happens to you hormonally when your body knows that you are going to give it all fuckin’ up, because that’s the only explanation for why both these pregnant whores are in see thru shirts, I mean other than the possibility that they are trying to squeeze into they non-maternity clothes and there’s not enough fabric to cover their slut asses up, but there’s not fun in that, I like to think it’s intentional…now all we need is some before and after pussy shots, as that is my fetish….
I saw the VMAs last night and I saw Kanye jump the gun on the Beyonce video and interrupt Taylor Swift saying that Beyonce was robbed, even though Beyonce won at the end of the night, in some sort of publicity stunt that stemmed from his annoying ego, the fact that his mom died and his bitterness from being a closet case, and here he is earlier this weekend with his try hard stand in girlfriend, pulling some hipster bullshit fashionista shit, with her colored contact weirdness and space outfit she bought with Kanye’s money in exchange for the fronting and she looks like fuckin’ shit, but at least she’s got short hair and a pussy that looks like a ballsack that hangs and flaps like a half empty garbage bag on a windy day, you know from all the dick it’s seen in its quest to get to this level, which is the top of where she’ll ever be, I mean unless she takes her fat dumpy ass to someone more famous, which is probably her plan….
That said, Kanye is a fuckin’ idiot who needs to get shot like real rappers do, I twittered it, it wasn’t punk rock, it was just annoying and I’m all for making little girls cry, if anything, I jerk off to that shit, and I’m not a Taylor Swift fan and have no problem seeing her knocked from the top, cuz a girl with a broken down ego is better than one with an inflated ego, at least when it comes to me cumming on their faces, but he was pathetic, why he even cared who won a bullshit award makes no sense to me, it’s all fabricated bullshit, just cash your check you idiot, and that’s why I need to end this post now, I’m getting too worked up about something so useless, staged and irrelevant to my everyday life.
Fuck you pop culture. Die.
On a side note, everyone is talking about this letter Kelly Clarkson wrote while emotionally eating a hamburger she found since her pizza’s been gone….and you know when Kelly Clarkson tells you off, it’s serious business..
Dear Kanye,
What happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough?? Something must have happened to make you this way and I think we’re all just curious as to what would make a grown man go on national television and make a talented artist, let alone teenager, feel like shit. I mean, I’ve seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways.
It’s absolutely fascinating how much I don’t like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you…which is pretty odd since I don’t even personally know you.
The best part of this evening is that you weren’t even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??
I was actually nominated in the same category that Taylor won and I was excited for her…so why can’t you be?? I’m not even mad at you for being an asshole…I just pity you because you’re a sad human being.
On a side note, Beyonce has always been a class act and proved again tonight that she still is.
Go TEXAS!!
Taylor Swift, you outsell him ….that’s why he’s bitter. You know I love your work! Keep it up girl! KC 🙂
Take that Kanye. She likes her ex over you cuz you’re black and Texans don’t really do the whole black thing….unless it is to piss off their oil tycoon fathers or chained to the back of their pick-up truck….
Katy Perry doesn’t deserve to be famous, not that she’s actually famous, I mean she gets paid a lot to perform and is on TV and gets interviews of her like people care, when really I know someone is paying someone else off to make this constant radio play happen, because she’s really not that good, and no radio station would play it without being told they have no choice but to play it, tricking the world into thinking she’s good, and making her not disappear like she shout.
This generation of “celebrities” seems to be just a bunch of one hit wonders on fuckin’ repeat, but in this case she is someone I personally hate because she has made lesbian fantasies obsolete, cuz every time I see girl on girl action that garbage song comes into my head and she should be punished for that….ideally by getting raped by a really big bull dyke and her really big strap on, just to see how much she really fuckin’ likes it….instead she’s just hanging out with her scary vampire boyfriend who helps make reaffirm that she’s probably one of the scariest things in entertainment and here are her tits doin’ some magic eye shit…
The only thing good about seeing Lily Allen topless in a magazine is the hope that an actual hot girl who I actually want to see topless will eventually show off her tits in the magazine. The other good thing about it is that it is a reminder to all the companies who call me a porn site and refuse to give me money, depriving me of the life of luxury I feel I deserve from all the hard work I’ve put into the site by sleeping in pretty much everyday the last 5 years, that tits aren’t fuckin’ pornographic, they are just hot, except in Lily Allen’s case, where they are just some kind of cruel joke, like when this homeless dude shoved his dick down my throat one night when I passed out drunk, only without the taste I couldn’t get rid of for a week, since I’m pretty good at forgetting horrible things, and really how bad could this really be, I mean it’s a picture of fucking tits, shitty or not, they are still tits. Right?
Who the fuck is Megan Hauserman and why are her shorts so great? It’s like with shorts this short and tight, it doesn’t matter how broken down this whore’s face is….More girls need to take her lead, I’m talking to you….girls.
I just found out that she’s a Playboy model which is code in America for one of the few bitches who isn’t fat but willing to get naked, unfortunately, it’s got to the point where they just don’t care about whether a bitch is good lookin’ or not, just as long as her ass isn’t long, lumpy, wide and disgusting in appearance, because whether it’s disgusting in other things is irrelevant when it comes to having pictures of the shit take, as photoshop can erase most blemishes and smells….right?
Her name is Michelle Johnson, I have no idea who she, because she’s pretty much a nobody, but I do know she has tits like most nobodies, she’s showing them off for attention at some event and I guess tits aren’t that big of a deal and I don’t really know why I am talking about them, maybe my life is just that boring and useless, and tits are all I have left to talk about, because I guess I like women and most women have tits , except for breast cancer victims and 5 year olds, so there’s nothing too exciting about this, but I guess we should celebrate her not having had breast cancer because we like tits and because it’s pretty clear this haggard slut isn’t 5. I doubt that made sense, but nothing I say ever really does….I’m working on it…
I was just thinking to myself “Remember when everyone wanted to fuck Teri Hatcher, it must have been a few years ago, and now I never even bother putting her pictures up because she’s old, weathered and disgusting” and then she goes and pulls this stunt…
Actually, I wasn’t thinking anything to myself at all, because I generally only think bad things and try to turn that shit off with booze and procrastination, and I’d never say a bitch is too old or too weathered for me, because the older the better, from experience, to inability for pregnancy, to no memory of the events that unfolded, sign me the fuck up, so I’d never say that, but when I saw these pics, I thought shit, remember when people wanted to fuck this girl and all they did was talk about her, whether on that Superman shit or Housewives…well I guess she’s let that get to her head and hasn’t given up on herself, even though most people have cuz she’s showing a pretty solid wax and based on experience, real old ladies don’t bother maintaining that shit….only ones with egos do and that doesn’t answer my real question, which is wondering what this rotting slab of meat in her bike shorts smells like before and after triathlons she takes part on in efforts of provin’ she’s as fit as she was when people actually wanted to fuck her, but I guess I’m just a sick man…
I have been drunk all weekend and I am still drunk but watching the VMAs at a friends house where I am continuing to get drunk and I hate how repetitive I tend to be with this whole drinking bullshit, but I really hate how repetitive these award shows are. It’s the same bullshit formula and I don’t believe anyone actually cares about this shit, its gotta be all lies, so since you’re not watching this shit, and sitting around the computer, I’ll just post my stepLINKS to entertain you.
So Animal, the crazy fucker who hacked Lohan’s voicemail yesterday has an even crazier story about Diane Sawyer on September 11th, that involves her and her crew dressed like rescue people and fireman trying to get as close the the rubble as possible for an exclusive when there was a media blackout asking him and his camcorder to film some shit for them secretly and here is the footage…unfortunatey not footage of him fucking Diane Sawyer….
Anyway, this was me doin my part….watch the crazy footage.
To Read About It Check Out The Animal New York…. GO
